posted on February 2, 2013 at 11:52 am
always surrounded by chicas

always surrounded by chicas

 

still dont know whats going on with anything at all

my girlfriend sams dad is going to pass away

and shes there with him in brisbane

and the way he is going is painful and dreadful

it fills one with fear and anxiety

i wish a sweet release for this most humble and kind of geezers

i cant believe we must die like this

there must be another way

my dad went suddenly . bang. he was gone

no hospitals no morphine no long drawn out agony

sam is showing much much grace under pressure

i cant believe she is remaining strong and calm

therefore i am so proud of her

i wish her dad could slip like a silver drop into the great ocean

i beseech jesus krsna and buddha to let this man go

let everybody off the hook

i again thank krsna jesus and buddha (who are one n the same like we all are!)

that my dad exited so quickly cos he of all people wouldve hated this ….

what truly does it avail us all this jockeying for position n money n power?

death is so close to everyone of us!

why cant we learn?

why cant we (i include me in spades) change our lives ?

actualise compassion. be gentle! love each other and everyone

death and sorrow all around us yet we live like theres no tomorrow

jostling for my place in the heap not noticing until its too late

dont bring one tiny bit more misery into my world please

i dont need it

i am not dealing with people who have a problem with me

i confuse people because i’m such a genius n such a fool

my sister in law wrote about this the other day

that the people on the bus got upset because she was a “dreamy fool”

this world needs more dreamy fools

it needs less busyness and business

the world of men and the world in general

POST SCRIPT
SAMS DAD BILL DIED THIS MORNING AT 4.20 AM SAM WAS HOLDING HIS HAND AS HE SLIPPED AWAY.

50 Responses to “wet saturday morning”

  1. avatar
    Kohl Ette | 2 February 2013 at 12:11 pm #

    This morning after yesterday’s storms, for some reason the word ‘Fauve’ popped into my head which was quite cheering after that darkness. It made me think of some of your paintings, not to be categorised, but just reminiscent. Sorry to hear of others’ personal darknesses at this time,and praying for a quick release too for the dying as well as a happy afterlife. Couldn’t agree more with the last few lines you wrote above. It has been grey this morning but there is something calm and fresh about it now.

  2. avatar
    ZORRO1015 | 2 February 2013 at 12:17 pm #

    Fuck the Fear and Anxiety. As good old Gandalf would say. “Death is not the end, but only the Beginning! Tu amigo musical, Zorro.

  3. avatar
    Heatherdaydream | 2 February 2013 at 12:53 pm #

    love vibes to the lovely Sam and those who lover her and she loves. and go the dreamy fools.

  4. avatar
    herman the German | 2 February 2013 at 3:20 pm #

    alas, even back in Shakespeare’s day, he knew that all that jostling, elbowing and useless, needless argy bargy made many mens’ lives in to “a tale told by an idiot” which lasted the space of a “brief candle.”

    We could learn so much from plants and animals…but then again, switching on the telly to watch some mindless drivel which numbs us to our own insensitive, destructive behaviour is a hell of a lot easier, isn’t it!

    Hope yer girlfriend’s Dad don’t suffer too much…

  5. avatar
    surreal eskimo | 2 February 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    Sad times for your loved ones. Really sorry to hear it man. My Dad died 13 years ago in my twenties. It hit hard and never really leaves you. Just sympathies from a stranger but my sympathies nonetheless.

  6. avatar
    matthew | 2 February 2013 at 4:38 pm #

    My prayers for Sam’s father, for Sam, for you, and for the family at this painful time.

  7. avatar
    DavidP | 2 February 2013 at 4:48 pm #

    so very sorry to hear this news of Sam’s Dad
    huge amen to all of your prayers in this blog Steve
    wishing you and your Dad much inner strength and peace Sam

  8. avatar
    aurore | 2 February 2013 at 6:00 pm #

    Love and blessings to Sam and her beloved Dad, peace to all. Yes, we need more dreamy fools, as many as we can find.

  9. avatar
    Stewart | 2 February 2013 at 6:08 pm #

    I’m saddened to hear this. Wishing you, Sam and your loved ones love and peace beyond understanding.

  10. avatar
    sharon daniel | 2 February 2013 at 6:50 pm #

    Sending all my love, hugs & prayers to everyone at this incredibly difficult time xxxx

  11. avatar
    Marty Carroll | 2 February 2013 at 6:59 pm #

    All the best energy in this painful time for all those you care about. Peace

  12. avatar
    andy | 2 February 2013 at 8:03 pm #

    i have been in this unenviable situation myself and feel for you all very much.
    don’t know what else to say.

  13. avatar
    Michel | 3 February 2013 at 12:29 am #

    I feel really sorry for Sam’s dad.
    Surrounded by death nearly every day, I still have no answer.
    There must be another way ? I am sure the only painless way is having your family (and people you love) close to you when you die.
    Sudden death or long agony means nothing, as long as love is on time when you die.
    Love will always be stronger than morphine…

  14. avatar
    veleska1970 | 3 February 2013 at 1:09 am #

    My thoughts and hugs to Sam, her dad, and their loved ones.

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 February 2013 at 1:51 am #

    it’s hard to think of life as we know it when for all of us there comes time someone we love’s journey continues on. but energy is forever and with love stays. my thoughts to Sam’s father and his passing is with love surrounding him.

  16. avatar
    narelle | 3 February 2013 at 2:05 am #

    dear Sam
    so sorry to hear about you dads illness and that your dad is in pain…but at least it is good that you are able to be with your dad…surely they can up the pain relief to achieve a bearable level of pain/discomfort

    there is death and sorrow all around us Steve…not too many even think about these human traits…loads more room for improvement and awareness in this department

  17. avatar
    Steven Krut | 3 February 2013 at 2:31 am #

    I’m very sorry to hear about Sam’s dad. I know what she’s going through since my dad also died a very painful death. It was brutal and still haunts me. Would I have preferred that he died suddenly one day? Such bleak choices. Cancer at least provides time to say goodbye, but oh the pain! I guess I would have preferred that he never had to suffer. I too hope that Sam’s dad finds a sweet release.

  18. avatar
    Jeff McFarland | 3 February 2013 at 3:37 am #

    Peace Love and Comfort to Sam’s father and family, Sam, and you during this trying time.

  19. avatar
    shyster | 3 February 2013 at 6:59 am #

    hi i am a stupid little commenter
    i have posted here under a number of names (trisha, bigbopper, BoscoT ,pepper, jimmy22…the name changes but my sliminess remains!)
    sometimes i post “nice things” to try to “confuse” kilbey but mostly its just idiotic childish tripe
    however in the midst of someone elses grief i decided i’d chuck in this random piece of nastiness
    ok here it is

    “Darn the luck Steve, you never even got the chance to kick him in the tackle.”

    this probably should have been chucked in the trash where it belongs
    but i thought you all might like to see what a truly pathetic snotgobbling moron
    might write on an occasion like this!
    such is the curse of the obsessive weasel with no life of its own!

    • avatar
      Admin | 3 February 2013 at 9:53 am #

      dear idiot
      i really feel sorry for you
      because of your IP i can see exactly where(who) you are too
      you are a loathesome nothing
      you do not upset me or anyone else
      you are of no consequence
      sk

  20. avatar
    shyster | 3 February 2013 at 10:07 am #

    A misguided attempt at levity, nothing more, my apologies. Upon reflection clearly out of bounds.

  21. avatar
    David Mollet | 3 February 2013 at 1:33 pm #

    Dealing with death reminds us all of what is truly important in life – love, compassion, & a desire to understand others is heightened and the rat race fades into insignificance. The Wise and discerning hold onto the gift of this perspective, which is probably why we are given these experiences. May the things you and Sam experienced at this time allow you to love more fully and forgive more easily.

  22. avatar
    Cocoamo | 3 February 2013 at 2:35 pm #

    My heartfelt sympathy to you and your loved ones for having to watch someone so dear to you suffer and pass away.

    If we only really knew if there was a hereafter and/or do-overs it would make so much more sense, and we could wish a Bon Voyage to the departing traveler.

    Pondering your esoteric lyrics, I have often wondered if you had greater insight into these matters or were you speculating?

    Regardless, I suppose we don’t know, and that makes it hard.

    I wish you all peace and sweet memories of this wonderful person.

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  23. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 3 February 2013 at 2:38 pm #

    Dear sweet Sam,

    We are so sorry for your loss. As I emailed u prior, please hijack this blog
    one day, when the time is just in ur heart , and share with us all the magic and
    love that is ur dear loving father and his most wonderful life …share those
    ridiculous stories that will always fill u with warmth and bring both a smile
    and a solemn tear …so we can feel the indescribable magic that was a wonderful
    human life…

    With great Love and Condolences,
    Darrin and Laura Kelly

  24. avatar
    edd | 3 February 2013 at 3:47 pm #

    Just wanna know what the fuck is wrong with people these days. Are we all so bored, desensitised and cut off from each other that we can’t even sympathize with ANYONE that has to deal with loss? Shyster it just ain’t fair and I put you in a league with the Westboro idiots and Republicans. Sorry Steve, Sorry Sam-EDD

  25. avatar
    Cath | 3 February 2013 at 7:57 pm #

    xx
    people are reclaiming death rites to be with their loved ones when it matters, not have the funeral lords and doctors rush off the person before the soul has barely left…….glad she could be there, tis an honour really now days…tis good to talk about what we want and put it in place…… mum deals with it day by day…sort of immune now i suppose,……)Elderly). Peace

    • avatar
      Admin | 4 February 2013 at 6:51 am #

      thanks cath. your paintings ready!

    • avatar
      narelle | 5 February 2013 at 12:06 am #

      sorry Cath but some things are just plain wrong… and your comment, in part, is so wrong!!
      I have been in heath care for almost 35 years and no-one in my care nor have I ever seen a person who has passed away rushed off anywhere…that is simply untrue and if I ever saw this happen the person would know about it and how!!! do no harm…in others words our actions or our karma…suppose it depends on what one believes and how one wants to live
      how can anyone become ‘immune’ to any one person passing away no matter what circumstance or age…whats that supposed to mean…there are ways and means of best dealing with our life and the lives of others and thats a never ending process that deserves the best we can do at the time
      I do wear my heart on my sleeve but thats who I am
      please rest assured that there are a lot kind and caring people in this world…plus a lot of arseholes!!!
      cheers
      Narelle

      • avatar
        Anonymous | 6 February 2013 at 3:59 am #

        Be glad you don’t have to work in the British NHS, Narelle, you’d see some awful treatment of patients. When my father was in hospital with terminal cancer in 2009, the bloke in the next bed died and the nurses just left him there as they were serving meals and didn’t want to interrupt their schedule. They didn’t even draw the curtains around the poor bugger’s bed and just left the body in full view while the other patients ate. Pity there was no-one like you to kick ass and sort it out. This is the truth about the NHS – the place my father was in was little better than a Napoleonic field hospital.

  26. avatar
    Boriah | 3 February 2013 at 9:36 pm #

    Sorry to hear the bad news. All my support.
    Alex

  27. avatar
    Jeff McFarland | 4 February 2013 at 1:19 am #

    Dear Sam and Steve.
    Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. After losing my mother and kid brother to lingering illnesses, I can tell you one thing for sure: Time gently sanded away the rough edges until, even I, felt like myself again. In this tough time try to remember that you are loved and find comfort in your family and friends. I/WE love you.

  28. avatar
    narelle | 4 February 2013 at 3:47 am #

    well I logged in at about 0420…woke up and again was thinking of Sams dad eventually noticed the post script it seems the time was right but 24 hrs ago…RIP

  29. avatar
    Crasher | 4 February 2013 at 9:49 am #

    My condolences to Sam, Steve.

  30. avatar
    Ingrid | 4 February 2013 at 10:13 am #

    Sam so sorry to hear about your Dad, my deepest condolences xxx

  31. avatar
    Lara | 4 February 2013 at 1:27 pm #

    So sorry for you and Sam. What a heavy thing.

  32. avatar
    Kohl Ette | 4 February 2013 at 4:14 pm #

    Sam, I haven’t really met you. Steve introduced you to the audience one time at the Whisper bar I remember. And I said hello at the St (Say) Lou Lou gig. Anyway, just sending my sympathy to you and your family at this time. For what it’s worth. May your Dad rest in peace forever.

  33. avatar
    davem | 4 February 2013 at 4:58 pm #

    Thoughts,love and prayers to Sam (& you).
    x

  34. Kraig
    Kraig | 4 February 2013 at 7:33 pm #

    God Bless you Sam and to your dear old Dad!? Your in my prayers. When my Dad passed away in 2010 in was like no other feeling, he was my guide, my best friend, my pal in life….so all feelings, vibes, and sorrow go to you my dear and Mr. Kilbey. All of you are in our thoughts. Only time heals all wounds, and this is the truth. Nothing else. God Bless You A Million Fold!

  35. avatar
    hippy | 5 February 2013 at 4:09 am #

    When a parent dies, a part of you dies. A very painful process to go through (RIP Dad, 3/3/2009). Condolences to the family.

  36. avatar
    captain mission | 5 February 2013 at 7:10 am #

    god bless you, so sorry to read this, big hug for sam and you.

  37. avatar
    hellbound heart | 5 February 2013 at 7:43 pm #

    love and support to you guys…..Sam, your Dad’s finally at peace
    <3<3

  38. avatar
    kell | 5 February 2013 at 9:08 pm #

    Don’t have time 2 read all the comments (yet), but here’s something i do when an amazing ‘cross-over’ event occurs….call upon Archangel Azrael. He’s a good one to help with grief…all aspects of it…includ. funeral. Dignified composure, presence. And love. Be well…ALL…

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 February 2013 at 8:12 am #

    So sorry to hear of your loss Sam. “Tis definitely a “Bastard Universe” sometimes, but I’m glad you got to say your goodbyes properly. I didn’t have that chance with my brother. We just lost him to suicide a couple of months ago. I had no idea he’d gotten so low, these “tough” Aussie men can’t seem to talk about this stuff. He suffered depression and alcoholism same as me but something always pulled me back from taking that option (probably being a “dreamy fool” actually, i think that can be a salvation sometimes, at least i have a “happy place” to go to in my head, he never did) So yeah the Demon Alcohol claims another one, the greedy, greedy prick. My love and thoughts go out to all of those suffering a loss, may the love and support of friends and family get you through and may your lost loved ones be swimming in the unspeakably beautiful, peaceful stream that is the God Consciousness. Love and God bless xx

  40. avatar
    ticktockclarice | 6 February 2013 at 8:15 am #

    So sorry to hear of your loss Sam. “Tis definitely a “Bastard Universe” sometimes, but I’m glad you got to say your goodbyes properly. I didn’t have that chance with my brother. We just lost him to suicide a couple of months ago. I had no idea he’d gotten so low, these “tough” Aussie men can’t seem to talk about this stuff. He suffered depression and alcoholism same as me but something always pulled me back from taking that option (probably being a “dreamy fool” actually, i think that can be a salvation sometimes, at least i have a “happy place” to go to in my head, he never did) So yeah the Demon Alcohol claims another one, the greedy, greedy prick. My love and thoughts go out to all of those suffering a loss, may the love and support of friends and family get you through and may your lost loved ones be swimming in the unspeakably beautiful, peaceful stream that is the God Consciousness. Love and God bless xx

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 February 2013 at 2:13 pm #

      So very sorry for the loss of ur brother …memories do provide
      healing comfort…from much experience…Iv lost so many – near n dear, so so much…
      …and some days…just feels like not so long ago…
      …now-healing sentiments to each and all…will shall endure for those
      …those, who are gone.

      D

  41. avatar
    lisa k | 6 February 2013 at 8:35 am #

    I’m very sorry. It’s such an awful thing to go through. Sending love your way…

  42. avatar
    JES | 7 February 2013 at 3:10 am #

    SK and family: Tracy Chapmanlike Chicago Grrl checking in, stumbled upon this anguish, chose not to be silent. So many people care, it’s amazing. Thank you for sharing, be well in the living memories of your loved one.

  43. avatar
    warpedjohn | 7 February 2013 at 7:10 am #

    Very sorry for your loss. I lost my beautiful Mum 14 / 04/12 . I think about her every day. I stll feel her presence sometimes.

  44. avatar
    Sven T | 7 February 2013 at 4:38 pm #

    I worked for some years in “care in the last part of life”/hospice. I know that a loved ones hand takes more pain away than drugs. And to give that hand is a privilegie. Sam can be sure she did a very good thing. It is ok for her to be proud of being there.


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