posted on April 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm

evie n i go to the icebergs
i run into a guy i owe 300 dollars and its embarassing
i shoulda fixed him up before its just laziness
i know i know he says as i fumble my apology
anytime anytime he says
then im sitting in the sauna when harry comes in
hi harry i mutter
oh i didnt recognize you sitting there booms harry
youre normally making a lot more noise for yourself…
yeah… thanks harry…
i do only 12 laps and run outta steam
evies in the pool and she waits as i get up her end
and she swims underneath me as i go over her
making me me fearful for a kick in the privates
oof! yep…there it is!
we get home and i make pears
then we decide its such a warm perfect day
we’ll go to the most lovely almost secret park in bondi
and we’ll play kubb
a swedish game of throwing batons at wooden pieces…
did i ever tell ya that one day every now n then
these black ants have their own wedding/orgy/mass suicide
well yes
you see
if you think your sexlife is underpar
then grok this
there is only one chick in the whole colony
uh huh the queen herself
so if youre a horny ant then shes the only lady in town
gee how does that work timebeing i hear you ask
its not as bad as you think
cos most of the cats in the colony are neuter
thats correct…neither here nor there
they dont have sex
theyre the workers n the soldiers
there are however some males
ooh look they have wings too
on this one special day
the queen who can fly too
she flings herself naked through the sky
her majesty looking to get laid
the males
those prince consorts
hundreds of em
imagine the conversation between 2 male ants:
hey bill …exciting isnt?
what reg…flying with the queen n stuff?
yeah bill..of course
you know shes only gonna mate with one of us reg?
yeah…i s’pose so…
well look around mate these bleeding thousands of us
yeah youre right bill…nevermind…what you doing after?
after? after reg? there is no fucking after…!
what you mean bill…no after..ha ha (laughs nervously)
reg dont you know….we’re all gonna die today..matey or no matey..
glum silence
yes the males all perish
none return to the nest
not even he who got lucky with her maj
anyway all the ants have come out from underground
and theyre a little excited to say the least
its like airforce day and empire day and a sexy tragedy
all in one hit
scarlet kilbey is standing among them
in one black uprush they ascend up her legs
in her sox
in her undies
nipping her white baby groin
biting her pink soft chubby legs
scarlet kilbey goes ballistic
screaming and dancing a weird ants in my pants dance
the game is over before its begun
we think we got em all off
and she starts wailing again
and we find another little bugger biting her for all its worth
the doodles play kubb while we see to scarlet
eves much better than aurora
so shes all mouthy and showing off
while aurora keeps flouncing off in a huff
everybodies going for it
so much for a quiet game
eventually me n nk get to play
(i won resoundingly)
and i became just like eve… all cocky
i drive up to blue mountains at 4
in my old falcon, tibor
we drive up into the mountains alone
much roadwork
much police
much argy bargy
i suddenly realise i need a ye olde wee wee
and i drive off main drag into the forest and get lost somehow
i have to retrace my steps out after much panic
i get to katoomba
which i dont particularly care for that much
find the carrington
a huge old hotel where queen vickie once had a bath
(or something)
the people having the wedding are very nice
piercings and tattoos abound
they are all mid thirties
the p.a. isnt very good
there is no stage
i just stand there near a table singing
i start with providence
its all crackling distorted n feeble
this eventually is rectified
while i play n sing
people talk n laugh
kids run around
dinner gets served
(yuck! its bloody steak or something!)
the bride n groom and a few of the guests
really love my music so i close my eyes n think of england
i do “let it be me” and a bunch of oldies cheer
i quite enjoy myself even under these far from perfect conditions
daniel is a great groom and longtime fan
he and quite a few others tell me
they grew up listening to me
its nice
im a little shy i guess but these folks are real nice
i am saddened to learn daniels mother died 2 weeks before wedding
they serve me a vegan meal
we do thought that i was over you with daniel singing in mike w/ me
i do milky way for bridal waltz
a good time was had by all
i finish up
i get paid
long boring drive home
listening to some church jams n marvelling
25 minute pieces of music
like entire sides of prog rock albums never released
i almost drift off to sleep a few times
but luckily was jolted back to awareness by some force
come home just after midnite
my wife in the darkness waiting patiently for me
goodnight to all

17 Responses to “what the time being puts together let no man tear asunder”

  1. avatar
    Ross B | 27 April 2008 at 12:37 am #

    Dear Steve I’m glad the wedding went well. I found that wedding segment of your piece strangely moving though I don’t know quite why…sort of poignant… maybe it’s the existential realities of life, the cycles, birth, marriage, death that affect me somewhat. Glad it went well nonetheless,
    and hope Scarlet came out alright!
    Kind regards to all, r.

  2. avatar
    princey | 27 April 2008 at 12:57 am #

    A happy ending for all….

  3. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 27 April 2008 at 1:09 am #

    haha, i knew you had some previous unreleased albums laying around, i am always fifty light years ahead, the choich is my savior…

  4. avatar
    donna | 27 April 2008 at 1:17 am #

    Hi Steve,
    Glad to hear the wedding went well and you likewise when you retrned home…
    It’s a wet, grey miserable day here in auckland. I’ve been sitting on the dreaded commputer for days, trying to re-start my life with things of importance (ie. car, house to rent, furniture etc) the only thing I have to look forward to are my phone calls with MD and reading TTB – only just read yesterday’s..must have been a bad day in everyone’s private universe?? My day was a disaster..feeling a bit lost and lonely (after my daughter went to her friends house for sleep over) and knowing that MD is in Melby feeling much the same,I head in to they city to buy a Church CD (as mine are somewhere between oz and nz in boxes!)been in shop for not even 10 mins and thanks to broken parking meter, have to pay a nasty man 150 bucks to get wheel clamps off!! He seemed to get such pleasure in reducing me to tears – I was so angry because he seemed to be so pleased with himself?? Anyway, not much seems to be going my way right now but i live in hope that the grey cloud will soon lift and the sun will shine again..? We all deserve to find happiness on this roller coaster called life.

    Love to all.

    XXXXMiss D.

  5. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 April 2008 at 1:32 am #

    awwww~~poor scarlet!! i guess a childhood isn’t a childhood without having ants march all over you at least once. 😉

    i’m glad t hear the wedding bit went well for you. and especially that you made it home safe and sound considering how tired you were.

    lotza love….

  6. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 April 2008 at 1:35 am #

    to donna: i hope you are feeling better soon. yeah, there are quite a few of us who are being hounded by dark clouds right now. i had a tragedy myself in january and i’m still reeling from it and probably will for quite some time. you’re right~~we all deserve to be happy. i hope some comes your way soon.

  7. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 27 April 2008 at 1:47 am #

    Richard Branson is a cool British billionaire dude that wants to end global warming. He also loves rock music. I wonder if he knows who The Church are. I wish he could here “After Everything Now This”, “Forget Yourself” and “Hologram of Baal”. It’s certain that he’s heard UTMW. I wish he knew that the Lennon-Harrison-Bowie talent incorporated SK is a vegan environmentalist whose in a financial quandary. Even when you have boundless talent all that matters is who you know in the music industry. Silverchair made a fortune before they released Diorama and Young Modern (there only two stellar studio CDs). They had luck and sponsors before Daniel Johns actualized his talent. Remember they were supposed to be the next Nirvana. Johns turned out to a pop star with a wondrously sensitive and emotional voice not Cobain or Vedder. But he made money via being branded the next Cobain when he was a mere teenager trying to keep his life together while releasing those horrible first 2 Silverchair CDs.

  8. avatar
    MEM | 27 April 2008 at 4:51 am #

    little to say.
    no comment
    i can think of.

    i’m here
    for what it’s worth.
    that’s all.

  9. avatar
    captain mission | 27 April 2008 at 5:00 am #

    oh i wanna get married now so you can sing at my wedding. glad your day ended well 🙂

  10. avatar
    golden thorn in my paw | 27 April 2008 at 7:12 am #

    life is good

  11. avatar
    fantasticandy | 27 April 2008 at 8:44 am #

    those prog-rock jams would get you an entire new audience…
    ‘jammed’ and ‘bastard universe’
    are wonderful records…
    a whole other side to the band.

    ‘jammed’ in particular, is right up there with can’s seventies studio jam albums….awesome organic music…
    it’s a world away from yer ‘pop’ stuff…..but…
    you have a loyal fan base who will be prepared to go on this musical journey with you…
    they’ll try…and eventually it’ll ‘click’!
    limited editions maybe?
    pay up front?
    i dunno?……
    but this stuff is ready to go!
    just bang it out!
    i want it!
    i was gonna e-mail ya and try ‘n blag some off ya on reading todays entry……….
    ‘n then i thought, no, let me pay for it!
    c’mon killer….get this stuff to me…i payee real good breetish poundz pleeze yesee?

    fookin’ luv ya man…you must be the coolest ‘wedding singer’ on the planet.
    love to the missus and the nippers too!
    calamine lotion…thats the stuff for little miss s…

    send me some cd-r’s and a bill.
    get ‘kilbey’s cottage industry’ up and running tout suit!
    all the best,
    andy L.

  12. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 27 April 2008 at 9:10 am #

    i do believe that bill and reg (who would appear to be the derek and clive of the ant world) deserve a little spin off blog of their own – a bit like joey but funny instead.

    ‘after? after reg? there is no fucking after…!’

    hee hee

  13. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 27 April 2008 at 11:03 am #

    …a weekend of fire and flames…amazing i’m here at all, not shooting across the sky like a meteor or ashes and dust from some spontaneous self-combustion…i can absolutely identify with those little black ants after the weekend i’ve had…ahem…
    my aunty has absolutely shit-loads of money, lives in some swish apartment at wooloomooloo (enough o’s?), drives a jaguar and has all of the material luxuries that she could want…is she happy? i don’t know, money didn’t stop her marriage from falling apart, money didn’t stop her son from going off the rails, and i certainly know that money isn’t stopping her from being an uptight and not particularly nice person…yes, money is a necessary evil but it ain’t everything, that’s for sure…
    my love and thoughts go to you at this sad time, linjo…
    love always…

  14. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 27 April 2008 at 11:53 am #

    once again u put us right there with u in the car at the hotel
    at dinner

    strangely enough , well maybe not to u
    ive been offa the dairy and the meat
    u are a direct force in this
    veggie burgers
    rice milk
    nuts n honey
    its not even hard
    like a light went off
    good stuff
    much more to do thanks fer the push doctor

  15. avatar
    davem | 27 April 2008 at 3:54 pm #

    You played at my wedding too, you just don’t know it.

  16. avatar
    tim | 27 April 2008 at 9:45 pm #

    i’d love to hear those sides!!

    i’d love to hear some

    peace mister kilbey and to everyone else- don’t forget to hit the paypal button once in a while..

  17. avatar
    Jab @ BZT | 28 April 2008 at 8:38 pm #

    25 minute pieces of music?

    Yep, I too would shoot some green your way for a copy of that. Gladly.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.