posted on February 19, 2006 at 11:34 pm

ok fiendss
how are ya?
this ratio is disproportianate
i spend an hour maybe hour and half
writing this tripe
you fiends gobble down in 2. sumpthin’ minutes
baby
i putting in 30 times more time
than you
c’mon
what do i expect?
nothing…
i mean i dont know…
i havent figerred out what it is i need from ya
yet
yet i do this because some intangible force
forces me to fucking BLOGGE!
i am a puppet to my whims
look back over my life
you can see that
sometimes it leads me to something great
sometimes it takes me up a dark street
in a bad neighbourhood in atlanta
and leaves me alone
hiding in the darkness

so that same thing that made me write songs
when no one was or wanted to listen
only my 2 younger brothers
ever listened to all those thousands of songs
i wrote on my 4 track
in canberra and rozelle
my music was everything at once in those days
talk about an over acheiver
i wanted to write songs that were the best
i wanted to do everything myself
i wanted to be punk psychedelic proggy poppy
rocknrolly indy glammy seriousy weirdy catchy
etc
my fiendss
i try to listen to some of the surviving cassettes
my abstract model
inkling
estranged
electrical disturbance
sand and snow
youre my idea
featuring lyrics
youre hanging in the wardrobe
and you think that i cant see
sometimes i think i think i look like you
sometimes i think you look like me
i closed that door
please dont come thru
i try to think of something else
but all i get is you
youre my idea

cmon fiendss
did you like that…?
oh well
whatever
nevermind
anyway
as i wazza saying to ya
the force that compels
us genii and renaissance men
i got stuff pouring out me baybee
sweet jesus
turn off this stream of stuff
i got music playing in my poor pour ringin’ ears
i got words flowing outtta my fingers
i got patterns swirling around behind my grey
eyes
my poor brain trying to figger out my mind
hes trying to get a little string theory going
my mind is filling up with all this other stuff
im knocking out poetry
collaborations
songs
stuff
constantly
i cant get any rest
it doesnt switch off
its occupying my thoughts
you see i always hadda bent like this
a lotta people did
but schooly
and worky
knock it outta ya eventually
if i hadda job laying tiles
you reckon im gonna come home and knock out a fucking prose poem
not on yer nelly sunshine
i hadda little job doing just that fiendss
i came home every nite at 4
i put david bowie on the turntable
i fell asleep
my mum woke me up for dinner
i went back to bed and slept
i got up at 6 the next mourning
to start the whole thing again
i was a tilers labourer
we tiled huge just built govt offices
i was a sorry specimen
you can be sure
a piss poor labourer
i only had the job
cos of ian
my cousins husband
he was nice guy and he hired me
you shoulda seen the other guys on the team
when i show up for work
boy
i can see theyre real impressed with my
tiling prowess
hey bruno dont chuck those tiles at me so hard
youre cutting my hands
that one day i will need to write
future aussie rock standard
utmfw
you know the one…
well i guess it aint gonna bee a hit for another 16 years
actually they werent such a bad olde bunch
me and a guy called terry
he was from west wyalong
we went to a town called goulburn
or ghoulburn as nk said once
and me and terry
stayed at the pub
had counter lunch and dinner
(slim pickens for veg in those days and times)
we tiled goulburn hospital floors
chatted up the nursies
terry even chatted up the patients
i was neck deep in blokedom
how much more aussie could ya get?
i dunno
it only sorta half washed
but this is why
i CAN easily become that bricklayer
ive told ya of
in a dark and wonderful old record shop
in goulburn during that time
i found a copy of an album by
a group called flaming youth
id been looking for it for ages
it had phil collins on it
before he joined jenny sis
thick long luxuriant tresses he sported
on the cover
any way i was glad to go to goulbum
just to get that record
i reckon thats enuff for ya today
youll get indigestion if you have too much
after a little break
youll O D

goodbye you creatures
its over
for now
sk

40 Responses to “when i am in the darkness why do you intrude?”

  1. avatar
    wytch | 20 February 2006 at 12:27 am #

    you never cease to amaze
    you have your way with words
    like no other
    oh to be a blank sheet
    under your
    gaze

  2. avatar
    Wil-O | 20 February 2006 at 12:52 am #

    The mathymatics of Blogge

    Dearest Kil-O

    If you spend ninety minutes creating this blogge of beauty, and each dear reader only spends two point something minutes reading it, then you only need less than forty five readers to have reaped more than you’ve sown. Net sum gain.

    Of course, with all Arte, it is a gift rather than a receipt. Thanks for sharing your gift.

    X
    Wil-O

  3. avatar
    mike a | 20 February 2006 at 2:33 am #

    yes sk, sometimes we feel bad here in the comment section – you write an entire blog and we only write a few lines!!

    Glad to hear the music, lyrics, and poetry are flowing!!!

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 2:51 am #

    ah but Steve you miss one important point in your equation… being, that sure, it takes 2 mins to read, but we also often take away food for thought for a good deal longer. And for this you and only you are the culprit.

    Blimeleaver

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 3:14 am #

    Ah, sunny Goulburn ( in the summer anyway) – I had to go there in 1980 for six weeks when with Telecome.
    Nurses training hospital, big state rail deepo, police academy & 40 degrees in January – what a mix.
    good for the soul.
    Maybee they shud call it Soulburn.

    Dutch Pierre

  6. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 20 February 2006 at 3:58 am #

    1) dictate your blog into a cassette and get some lightning fast typist to transcribe them for you. copy and paste and post them later as you will (someday)…

    2) i know i’m not the only one who has been affected this way…do you realize how awful you have become about answering ye olde emails since you’ve started the bloggin’? emails may be mundane, labourious even, but the dialogues are necessary.

    peace-n-love,
    tp

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 4:16 am #

    ah, olde blogger

    to grow olde(R) together is me fondest wishey

    that an’ more mash’d taters

  8. avatar
    Dig it | 20 February 2006 at 5:37 am #

    Rockstar and Blogstar baby, thats why, a new writers medium and you were the first. Might sound odd now but who knows how future generations will look at history.
    Dig!

  9. avatar
    esskayer | 20 February 2006 at 5:40 am #

    Yeah, Kill-bee, you spend an hour and a half per blogge and it takes me five minutes to cut ya down! I’m preparin’ the next song parody for you, and it’s gonna be a goodie. Stay tooned.

  10. avatar
    Anon Incognito | 20 February 2006 at 5:50 am #

    Good to see you are back esskayer!

    Anon Incognito

  11. avatar
    Mr. Ricky | 20 February 2006 at 6:41 am #

    my abstract model
    inkling
    estranged
    electrical disturbance
    sand and snow
    youre my idea

    YES, PLEASE!!! 😉

    What about the one…”You can’t turn back and your teeth are black…and there’s nothing left for tomorrow”…???

    Are these to get the “Freaky” treatement???

    HOORAAYYY!!!!!!

    ALOHA
    Mr.Ricky

  12. avatar
    captainmission | 20 February 2006 at 6:41 am #

    My first days in OZ I had a job helping my father in law paint the tiles on roofs, it was 1988, stinking hot, and I had a tape player blasting heyday out, drove him nuts with it. Actually it was a fantastic job, stress free and easy. I’d forgotten all about that, thanks a trip down the old memory lane.
    It’s amazing how prolific you are, it’s also inspirational, which i guess is a side effect of being a genius, it’s also great to read about your humble beginnings in blokedom, so thanks for being a source of inspiration, even though it may only have been accidental, it made me write songs and stories and such, take pictures and see the world in a different light.

  13. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 20 February 2006 at 6:47 am #

    ME AND YOU ARE ENDLESS LIKE THE SKY, THE CLOUDS DON’T LIE!!!

    M.J.N.JR.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 8:04 am #

    Mind your mind
    if you can’t face your face,
    Mind your Mind ,
    If you cant race your race
    Mind your mind.
    My regeneration was also really cool.
    Muddy Waters

  15. avatar
    Laurie | 20 February 2006 at 8:33 am #

    Are your song writing, bass playing- ‘scuseme instrument playing, painting, whatever else is on your resume hands tiring of blogging? I saw something: a blog, website, pod cast, movie, all in one program. Anyway- being the techy tech genius you are, maybe a daily (weekly?) pod cast.

    I thought food for thought as well, it’s not easy to walk away from your blog and not think about it- try as I may!! YOU! And look at some of these fans who write in- art thou sharpening thous dissertations? Look what you’ve done to them! Well, I spend some time writing too…..

    About that brick laying: I’ve thought about that like I’d like to build a structure. Through all this work and study I do, and hands on stuff….at the end of the day I say “Tholos Tomb, the beehive, the dome, sustainable and sweet.”

    L.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 12:19 pm #

    Hey dude, how’s it hanging…weez nearly forgot this was your blog.

    So, you were a tiler waz ya? WYJA give it up?! You could’ve been a zillionaire by now if you had your own roof tiling business when that huge hail storm hit the east coast of NSW a while back…man you must be pissed!

    Still, my ears are happy you went into music…Glad to see you back on the blogging circuit.

    Cheers
    AVEOTSOGAT

  17. avatar
    fergal | 20 February 2006 at 12:47 pm #

    speaking of flaming youths
    i believe that in the classic kiss movie ‘kiss in the attack of the phantoms’, there is a story about how each member got their super-human identity & associated talisman
    an old hooded mysterious guy threw them a box full of their talismen and shouted, “heads up flaming youth, hither cometh thy destiny!”
    and ace was a spaceman ever after …

  18. avatar
    Daberhasher | 20 February 2006 at 12:53 pm #

    today’s blog is top quality stuff there, Senor Smokealot… and yeah, your hours of toil beget days of thought… fear not, balance is there, whether from the bottom of our hearts or the top of our lungs…

    ah, Laurie beat me to it…
    the podcast…
    you’re a funnier bastard than Ricky Gervais, and he has the MOST downloaded podcast in all thee worlde….
    i can see it now…
    The Brothers K Olde Tyme Podcaste,
    The BondiPodcast,
    3 Sods in a Pod….

    you get my drift…

    do what thou wilst ‘-_-‘

    aloha,
    erik

  19. avatar
    Jor Burns | 20 February 2006 at 4:01 pm #

    I work for the man on the 20th floor of my block.
    Out my window I gaze at the green-grey waters of the Chicago river.
    Reflections of the uninvited clouds, squares of sunlight reflected from corporate towers, in the swirling flow of water that flows against logic;
    A man-made miracle, the river that flows backwards,
    The river that refuses to approach the sealine.
    And reading yon blogge, I (re)connect to the mind of a man on the opposite side of the globe.
    And I think about the nature of performace…
    My paisley tie the only hint of the boheniam script I will take up when the actor playing me puts down this ‘straight’ character.
    And wow he really looks like me close up!
    And wow he’ll look really bohemian later tonite when he decides to act like you…
    When I awake, I’m confused
    Who is Who…
    And the river flows backwards
    And reflects the clouds
    Someone hands me a phone
    I deny everything – just give me a few more minutes to read this blogge…

  20. avatar
    Jor Burns | 20 February 2006 at 4:01 pm #

    I work for the man on the 20th floor of my block.
    Out my window I gaze at the green-grey waters of the Chicago river.
    Reflections of the uninvited clouds, squares of sunlight reflected from corporate towers, in the swirling flow of water that flows against logic;
    A man-made miracle, the river that flows backwards,
    The river that refuses to approach the sealine.
    And reading yon blogge, I (re)connect to the mind of a man on the opposite side of the globe.
    And I think about the nature of performace…
    My paisley tie the only hint of the boheniam script I will take up when the actor playing me puts down this ‘straight’ character.
    And wow he really looks like me close up!
    And wow he’ll look really bohemian later tonite when he decides to act like you…
    When I awake, I’m confused
    Who is Who…
    And the river flows backwards
    And reflects the clouds
    Someone hands me a phone
    I deny everything – just give me a few more minutes to read this blogge…

  21. avatar
    Joe Burns | 20 February 2006 at 4:01 pm #

    I work for the man on the 20th floor of my block.
    Out my window I gaze at the green-grey waters of the Chicago river.
    Reflections of the uninvited clouds, squares of sunlight reflected from corporate towers, in the swirling flow of water that flows against logic;
    A man-made miracle, the river that flows backwards,
    The river that refuses to approach the sealine.
    And reading yon blogge, I (re)connect to the mind of a man on the opposite side of the globe.
    And I think about the nature of performace…
    My paisley tie the only hint of the boheniam script I will take up when the actor playing me puts down this ‘straight’ character.
    And wow he really looks like me close up!
    And wow he’ll look really bohemian later tonite when he decides to act like you…
    When I awake, I’m confused
    Who is Who…
    And the river flows backwards
    And reflects the clouds
    Someone hands me a phone
    I deny everything – just give me a few more minutes to read this blogge…

  22. avatar
    krissythegroupie | 20 February 2006 at 6:43 pm #

    When I was a lil’ younger your music was everything all at once to me too. I hadn’t nuthin like it when I was a teen. My dad once called it my “stoner rock” in passing, when one of *his* fave bands is the Doors…?! ANYway,
    all the comments read consecutively must take about equal time to read as your entry takes to write, no? Lotsa people need to get their 2cents in..

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 8:23 pm #

    hi steve,

    great blog (again). Reminded me of my days painting houses while getting scorched by the hot atlanta sun. Miserable.
    Many seem interested in whether you eat the fishies? Fish often seems an exception for many vegetarians.
    Thanks for writing and sharing.
    kevinN

  24. avatar
    Laurie | 20 February 2006 at 8:37 pm #

    Hi Steve, this is laurie for the first time this episode.
    Still don’t know who that ^ laurie is.

    Your blogge bring out so much emotion in me. ‘Tis almost like I am there with you (almost)

    Keep up the musings, painting,writing,and all those other things you do so well……..

    L.

  25. avatar
    sue cee | 20 February 2006 at 9:05 pm #

    Steve, you made me think of George:

    “We were talking-about the space between us all
    And the people-who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
    Never glimpse the truth – then it’s far too late – when they pass away.

    We were talking-about the love we all could share – when we find it
    To try our best to hold it there-with our love
    With our love-we could save the world-if they only knew”

  26. avatar
    Laurie | 20 February 2006 at 9:19 pm #

    Hello what’s your name from Brazil.
    Trying to immitate me, Laurie
    It didn’t work when you tried to immitate Steve either,
    Because you still can’t write proper english.
    Laurie

  27. avatar
    Malika | 20 February 2006 at 9:20 pm #

    Steve Baybey,

    Please let me say it…

    Will never understand all those people
    Who always listen to music [I mean the good one o’course] ‘for fun’
    And not deeply, not with their heart.
    They don’t know, they don’t realise all they are missing.
    They are so wrong.
    Life’s so short & precious !
    They ought to be ashamed !…
    Really, more than ever they should wake up !
    But I know I won’t change the world myself…

    Must have heard it before
    But I’ll say it again in a different way :

    Your music touches me.
    Your music talks to me.
    Your music always smiles at me.
    Your music will always be ma friend…

    By the way,
    Yes, so I have found my inspiration.
    My words are now dancing on my canvases Baybey.
    I make them appear & then disappear and appear again…
    They are once again dancing, floating, rolling, wandering…
    Here & there…
    With beautiful colours.
    Your music
    In my ears,
    In my head
    & in my heart…

    Love, Respect & Faith,

    Colour of Lorraine

    Pensées to a certain Chivalric French Dude…

  28. avatar
    travis bickle | 20 February 2006 at 9:44 pm #

    you talking to me?

    it’s all new to me
    or at least it was
    it was an itch i wanted to scratch
    when reactions surprised me
    because of course
    i too had an expectation
    other than that
    the intent was in the words

    hands off

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 10:22 pm #

    Speaking of Ricky Gervais, is there not just the faintest of resemblances between him and the church scribe. Gervais is fatter, of course, with less sharp features.

  30. avatar
    eek | 20 February 2006 at 10:26 pm #

    Love the blog Steve. Always a great read — not just fun, but thought provoking also.

    I also enjoy how your tales dredge up my own memories and those of other commenters. So of course, I have one of those memories now….

    About 15 years ago I put down tile floors in two rooms in my house. They turned out pretty well, but my arms hurt like crazy. Turns out I tore a ligament in my wrist. Luckily it was one of the few times over the past 25 years I’ve had health insurance, so I was able to get it repaired. It still cost me about $1200 out of pocket and took a year from when I first went to the doctor to when it was completely healed. Last time I did that!

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 10:38 pm #

    “why do you intrude…”? i always thought it was “why do you ring true..”, but “intrude” is better, and it’s also correct. but i always heard “or are you just feeling ill”, which is better than “…feeling guilt”. good record “street legal”, underrated. then again, i’ve been misreading it… ha ha! cheers!

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2006 at 10:42 pm #

    and another one – i thought it was “you can have the money too”, not “…the morning too”.

    mishearing and misreading is a lifestyle. ha ha.

  33. avatar
    letango | 20 February 2006 at 11:04 pm #

    My husband and I are both has-been academic tracksters.

    He left his anthropological Ph.D. track to become a stone mason.

    “A STONE MASON?,” his advisors, friends, family and probing strangers would ask with mouths agape in horror. “What’s wrong with you?”

    Indeed, why waste that brain, all that philosophy & methodology; all that great literature, Greek and Latin; all that poetry; all that Espanol and time in the Chiapas?

    Everyone thought he was crazy. Nonetheless, he became a stone mason/timber framer and I love how he lives in his body, inhabits it, and still can get me off with an analytical discussion on the Roman colosseum as panopticon or… well, you get the idea.

    I share this not because I think SK is dismissing tilers or other laborers. I think (or so I hope) he’s hip to the fact that sages, sorcerers, avatars, bodhisattvas etc. take many forms. I share this rather for those of us who forget. And that isn’t to say my hubby is a sage, but only this:

    One day, while he lay brick steps at an historical home near our local uni, a mother walking along with her son gave him a quick looking over. Then leaning in toward her son, she said, “See, honey, that’s why you need to go to college and get an education.”

    If she only knew there’s not one of us who can measure another individual’s value.

    If only she had met any of the numerous college students I tutored who couldn’t even write a grammatically correct sentence, she would know how easily an education is bought and that it’s definitely not worth $50,000 in student loans!

    Certainly (in reference to SK’s comment about coming home and sleepin’ after a long day of laborin’), if me hubby could put down his hammers and chisels more often to play flamenco or jazz, he might feel even MORE satisfied. But then, that achieved, the list goes on. Does it not?

  34. avatar
    FLCL | 20 February 2006 at 11:05 pm #

    Can’t sneeze at laying tiles, man. Good work, good grout. Seriously, beats pushing papers around a desk all day while the arse grows exponentially.

    It’s creating. Not *cool* creating, but creating nonetheless…

    Cheers for the most enjoyable website outside of Thai porn, Steve!

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 February 2006 at 8:28 am #

    ha ha letango. At first i thought u said a stoned mason. Now that could be scary

  36. avatar
    Rubikon | 21 February 2006 at 1:54 pm #

    So.. you were a Glam Rock Tiler (he sings with Aerosmith I think) not a Glam Rock Bricklayer.. all is explained – I understand it all now – the mist has cleared, the dust has settled, the sunlight burns my eyes (well not in the UK obviously).

    I must admit I have wondered what exactly you get from your Blogge.

    Have you any plans to release any/more of your old 4 track stuff?

    Did you ever want to be Disco-y? a sort of psychedelic BEEGEE (they were from the land of OZ weren’t they?) – that was a joke btw.

  37. avatar
    Letango | 21 February 2006 at 5:41 pm #

    A stoned mason! That would be brilliant, anonymous! Perhaps a stoned Free Mason!

    I love how in this blog commentor dialog box I get to choose an identity. If only that identity were more visceral. Honestly though, if it were, I don’t know who I’d choose. Would I want to know how it felt to be Jesus, or William Blake, or Octavio Paz, or Frida (no, definitely not Frida–too much pain), or Dorothea Tanning, or…?

    I think I would want to take on the identity of someone who had the opportunity to kiss one of the above (oh there are many others on that short list too).

    Baby asleep at the breast. sshhhh. signing off.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 February 2006 at 10:57 am #

    Even better, a free stoned mason

  39. avatar
    a flea in your Year | 24 February 2006 at 12:01 am #

    A Stoned Mason..Ah yes he used to play drums for The Pink Floyd – he just drives Ferraris now..oh dear, how sad, never mind, etc.

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 January 2007 at 10:42 am #

    Some good posts and comments on here, glad I found it. I’m laying down a bookmark so I can come back later, I gotta go off to work now. My new site if anyone’s interested (I don’t really like it yet but I’m working on it and am new at it) — decorative fireplace


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