posted on March 14, 2008 at 8:48 pm

its all gone wrong
terribly terribly wrong
who mixed it all up like this
and why?
bill nelsons column
the avenue of the americas
models of de havilland bombers
searching throughout sydney and melbourne
dad pulls over
we always get lost in this spot
scuse me….? my mum calls out
i’m always embarrassed by her “scuse me..?” voice
some old bloke comes over
we’re tryin’ to find moorabin says my mum
oh ha ha ha
the bloke scratches his head
looks wildly around in every cardinal direction
moorabin he says and guffaws
as if we just asked him the way to pluto
moorabin…he repeats again
my dad gives my mum a map to give the guy
bignell road ? my dad says
the bloke starts his instructions
3 roads down bear right
take the second to your left…no thats right
no it IS left, thats right
and when you hit erskine avenue
turn around n around n around
we drive off
i was bullying russell in the back seat
the radio was blasting ma belle ami by the tee set
my mum hadnt listened…she thought dad was listening
dad hadnt listened ….he thought mum was listening
we’re going round in circles! ….he suddenly exclaims
bloody australians! he fumes and lights another cigarette
small sparks and great gusts of filthy smoke
come flying in the back
but we hardly even notice
we assume its a hazard of driving
all that fuckin’ cig smoke
in winter its worse
dad n uncle dennis smoking up a storm
no one cracks the window
you try n hold yer breath
united we stand by the brotherhood of man comes on
theres no where else that i’d rather be than with you, my love
why dont you drive killer
peter koppes thrusts the wheel into my hands
no not melbourne boys
you know i always get lost in melbourne, boys
im driving this ford ltd
gee its got a great cassette player
we’re listening to ploogys dub reggae compilation
everybodys stoned and or asleep
im driving round n round in circles
i thought these guys would like me
cos i wrote all those songs
but its lonely at the top
and i feel always slightly ostracized
so i drive down tree lined streets in the autumn rain
the players snore
and their guitars bounce around in the boot
the night comes down
and we arrive in east bentleigh
ooh look theres uncle cyril and auntie eve
and lenny
oh lenny makes everybody laugh
my mum n dad really like lenny
the accusation hangs in my head
why couldnt i have been like lenny
hes so nice even i dont hate him cos hes nice
and hes nice to me even tho hes a bit older
and he takes me n paul barber with him
when he goes swimming or ten pin bowling
and hes always got some girlfriends and hot chips
or something groovy always happens here
in melbourne
all those blond brick houses
street after street after street
i feel enclosed by warmth and safety
like listening to an old elvis record
one night while im painting “the vegetalista”
suddenly the modern world recedes
a lovely hazy 1950s hollywood fills me room
the jordanaires croon in the background
the hero just wants a kiss or cuddle
there is no crack or internet or global warming
there is no aids or botox or hummers
in my bungalow here in the hills
among the oaks n elms n syc-a-more trees
the blue jays nest
my blue heaven
miss scarlet riviera nee kilbey dances with me
my friends and i drink a toast
have you seen gary coopers new movie
no osama
no obama
are they trying tell us something?
marty wakes up in the back of the car
are we there yet ? he asks pushing the hair outta his eyes
dad turns around still smoking his cigarette
eh? whats that slim? he says half coughing
in the bungalow the ice melts in the martinis
the swimming pool glows blue beyond the windows
after all theres no energy crisis in this world
its all holding hands and goodnight baby
the milkmans on his way

27 Responses to “wherever it goes”

  1. avatar
    Melby Symon | 14 March 2008 at 11:03 pm #

    Hi Steve…dunno about you, but often now I can’t remember things from last week. Events and happenings and feelings from 35 years ago…things like visiting somewhere or someone 35 years ago with my folks can be as clear as cystal.

    “something groovy always happens in Melbourne”…it still does SK…it still does !

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 12:03 am #

    Holy Tralfamador drood. This unstuck in time riff is tops. Do play on. BTW my little sis and I used to call being trapped in the car with the smoking parents the “Cigarette Symphony” oh so bittersweet…

  3. avatar
    linjo | 15 March 2008 at 1:44 am #

    Hi Steve, how things have changed eh? My dad used to steer with his knees while rolling a ciggy. I remember a few hotties flying into the back. Sticky hot vinyl Kingswood bench seats. My elder brother used to call him the baldy old faggot cause he always had a rolly hanging out of his mouth. He smoked in bed, at the dinner table, in the toilet, everywhere. No wonder the three of us are all ciggy addicts. Remember the little brown school suitcases? my mum still has one full of toy cars and you can still smell the horrible soggy spagetti brown bread ‘sammiches’. Hope the sun is shining down there!

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 2:12 am #

    all the innocence
    the warm childhood attachments
    still feel them like the five minutes ago
    listening to the halloween fright show tuned on the radio
    halloween night
    in the back of the parents sedan de ville
    glued like an insect to the floorboard
    the fear cozy and making me feel more alive than ever.


  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 15 March 2008 at 2:30 am #

    i have been free falling over the new Camel Lights Design, i just can’t stop smoking those damn ciggies, I hope soon that i can change my ways for all our sakes, meat is murder, Yahweh is in every living thing…

  6. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 15 March 2008 at 2:36 am #

    I love these disjointed time sequence blogs – they’re romantic & funny at the same time, and I love how you manage to cleverly weave the various times together. They also reminds of a quote by L.P Hartley (1895- 1972) “The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.”

    It’s hot in Melbourne for a change in Autumn; we’re having a heatwave at the moment (weather bureau ‘s term for these couple of weeks). Despite this, Melbourne is definitely a cool place with a very creative buzz of music, art, theatre (especially with the International Comedy Festival) & oh yeah sport too… I think it is a bit of a funky town!!

    love ya work SK,


  7. avatar
    MEM | 15 March 2008 at 2:57 am #

    its all gone right
    terribly terribly right
    who sorted it all out like this
    and why?

  8. avatar
    Bionaut | 15 March 2008 at 3:07 am #

    Your past remixture is fast a blog fixture
    Now sew in the future with a bow and a suture

  9. avatar
    Daberhasher | 15 March 2008 at 3:21 am #

    Oh! Mr. Sandman, send me a dream…..
    nice, very nice…

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 3:48 am #

    Steve,i used to have a T’shirt that stated-“9out of 10 men who’ve tried ‘camel’s’,prefer women”!haha!;/ ;D xo

  11. avatar
    correction on p. 42 | 15 March 2008 at 4:20 am #

    notice there was an error in script
    please see the referring manuel
    text is reversed on the reversed side
    side b i hope you name it after me
    sorry no time all time no time at all you
    asked now ask again dont remember please
    rememeber notice there was an error in script
    please see the referring manuel
    text is reversed on the reversed side
    side b i hope you name it after me
    sorry no time all time no time at all you
    asked now ask again dont remember please
    rememeber notice there was an error in script
    please see the referring manuel
    text is reversed on the reversed side
    side b i hope you name it after me
    sorry no time all time no time at all you
    asked now ask again dont remember please

  12. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 15 March 2008 at 6:03 am #

    …childhood car trips, can’t beat ’em….remember being violently car sick going up the great dividing range to glen innes from grafton and getting to sit in the front seat because of it…pretty good deal i thought…also remember the sticky vinyl seats of the old bright blue holden and the sausage dog that we used to have…used to sleep on the floor of the car with her head under the front seat…remember mum and dad having a huge fight and mum slamming the car door shut so hard that the window broke and glass came flying in all over the car on me…my mum can have a pretty violent temper…
    love always…

  13. avatar
    davem | 15 March 2008 at 9:16 am #

    I smoked 20+ a day for over 20 years. I feel guilty now about how selfish I was puffing away (mr humprhries) with the little ‘uns in the back seats. I hope they don’t touch the ciggies.
    Great blog SK. A really nice start to my weekend and I thank you. Beside yourself playing….very nice too.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 10:27 am #

    wherever it goes…

    i was reading some poetry blog:


  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 10:31 am #

    ( . .)


  16. avatar
    nickfiction | 15 March 2008 at 10:50 am #

    I can live without the crack and the global warming , but no internet? that would be a challenge…

  17. avatar
    melissa | 15 March 2008 at 11:32 am #

    Wonderful reading these last couple of days SK, thankyou 🙂 I kind of enjoyed reading about the driving adventures around my current neighborhood. Bentleigh seems alot cooler now 🙂

    I love this trips down memory lane too.


  18. avatar
    tim | 15 March 2008 at 12:33 pm #

    nice slice of cinema…thanks killer

    just finished my 30 minutes of qigong, early in the am in canada, spring is trying its hardest to reach its destination
    no one but me
    in this house
    i put Dabble on
    to dabble a little in
    the mystic
    the sun is just coming up
    and that song
    its not long
    it sounds like it
    goes on and on
    like the wall in china
    but you only put
    2 minutes on
    the record
    leave em wanting more huh killa….

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 12:49 pm #

    Star log #17556,chapter 14 of the time travel journal -remembrance-

    ….just rewatched that movie ‘sunshine of the spotless mind’, gee it’s good, very clever..all about erasing memories.


  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 2:00 pm #

    Is Bill Nelson’s column in the Islands of the Dead?

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 March 2008 at 2:24 pm #

    i’m speachless also. some great comments.

  22. avatar
    matthew | 15 March 2008 at 2:29 pm #

    Brilliant Steve, amongst your best ever, sincerely!

  23. avatar
    davem | 15 March 2008 at 5:34 pm #

    Mr Kilbey.
    You’re a genius and I adore you.

  24. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 15 March 2008 at 7:02 pm #

    I don’t smoke but I contend that smokers are too demonized by the anti-smoking police. Hunting, fishing, trapping and eating animal, bird and fish carcasses are worse.

    Enjoying the B-sides on Priest=Aura and Gold Afernoon Fix.

  25. avatar
    lily was here | 16 March 2008 at 6:00 am #

    Wonderful merging Steve, loved this one. But how can you get lost in Melbourne?! Sydney definitely (they dont let you turn left or right), Canberra endless circles and Brissy you cant get off the Story Bridge.

    Nowadays they have these gps gadgets that TELL you how to get somewhere, weird. Where’s the fun in that? Never get in the car with my husband. He will drive for miles and miles in a straight line refusing to stop and ask for directions (or listen to the wise one in the passenger seat…hee) or turn around before we hit Newcastle!! He just hopes that a sign will magically appear that says ‘exit here for The Church gig and we will park your car for you’ 🙂

  26. avatar
    eek | 16 March 2008 at 9:43 am #

    He just hopes that a sign will magically appear that says ‘exit here for The Church gig and we will park your car for you’ 🙂

    That’s the same sign I look for!! Damn thing never appears though. LOL

    you know i always get lost in melbourne, boys

    Sounds a lot like me…except I don’t just get lost in one city, I get lost in every damned one!

    and i feel always slightly ostracized

    I’ve come to believe that some people will just never really feel comfortably part of any group. I’m still trying to decide if I should be comforted by that (ie, it’s just the way it is so don’t worry about it) or completely depressed by it (ie, you will always feel awkward and out of place).

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 March 2008 at 10:55 pm #

    from jax..
    I think this was an aussie blog today..but I enjoyed it in LA, sometimes SK you wave very cinematic, you got a screenplay in ya I no it..

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