posted on December 16, 2010 at 7:44 pm

sic

the day begins

the quiet creeping dawn alights in the eastern sky

i up early creeping around wherever i am

ducking out of a dream in a doorway

i address my mistakes in a mirror

i shower asleep the water burns me awake tho it is quite cold

oh man what year is this for christ sakes

i wander thru a catalogue of pasts

yours mine everybody elses

yeah i was with ya that night though you know its impossible

you never met me but i was with you that night

you n i

i never knew your name

i knew someone raced alongside me

as i belted thru that plateau all underlit

you were somewhere in a field in a column

you walked beside me off to some war maybe thats true

summer summer summer overcomes me

i succumb to dumb summer most obvious of all

now i’m a tourist in my own rolling home

my suitcase unfolds a castle

i live in a glorious tent in a beautiful desert

i command the elements from my cracked blackened tower

i stand in the rain on a beach while a bird dies on the shore

i swim in a lake deep n warm but its years n fathoms ago

you n me we go wild in the black buried dark

i must be 16 i must be 36 i must be 66

you must be x and y

let ex = why?

i am high i am higher than high

i am heading out of earthbound currents crossing the divide

no no no no

i mutter tossing in my sleep i can see me alone with all of you

we all glide through tonight like gossamer darts we have no wait

oh my head expands with all this sudden beauty

my mind warp and woof woof

finally they let me go mad

i burst into australian summer blackness sometime along time a go

fated feted to sing you the one song i sing

knowing how you live knowing how you love

knowing how you will be reborn in some marvellous time

how dark the night is you will say

the quiet place down the garden

next to lilies and downy astral turf

look i am a madman i can really fly

you cannot see in the dark how i hover overhead

you cannot hear how i fly with only one wing

you cannot stop anyone escaping from their heads

i get on a airplain n i fly somewhere else

check in online save password agree to conditions

condition is you can never disagree with one condition

what about the condition of my mind

what about the hot black condition of the australian night

im on a balcony or a verandah or i stand in an observatory

alien stars twinkle in unfamiliar sky

i take a step backwards bumping into past

past glorious loves encased in amber

past rivulets of rural splendour winding through reverie

past future undiscovered just lying there untouched

maybe i dont understand

the widening arc of darkness

the softly roaring surf

the body of sand rolls away

the wave carries us black and faceless

the wave with its foam fingered grasp n clasp

the reef ahead but who cares if everybody sinks

the moon seems delirious like frozen disk

the moon so near so far so maddening to us lunatic

the moon unfolds thru a series of filters

the moon intrudes with a  row of low groans felt in the bestial cranium

the moon all jagged and square like a fractal smashed and delusion

oh my furtive boys all rushing down the vortex of drain

midgard summer in all its pine and palm

the sticky resin lingers from yesteryear

the south coast basking in endless summers

a bonfire on the beach in the blackest night

the flames and sparks explode into the inkiness

the wind tears the fiery spirits from the burning wood

the youths dance in abandon in the crackling dark-shattering smack

no fishing from bridge a hundred hooks baited

a hundred idiots waited

a hundred saints fainted

a hundred van go gos painted

a hundred heads grew back all silver and teeth and snap snap

the night was a virgin before they fucked it up with light

the night was sweet before the bitter came out better on a soul n guitar

man i bet you never read my stuff in your chamber of saviours

man i bet you never heard my voice in your booth of the truth

music comes in a gush it fills your mind as you stand in night

in deep night in silent night in christmas night off your tree

in heat in sand in winding bush track

in caravan park behind the surging sea

in the shower block where the nakedest ladies washed their big white breasts

in the tv that quiz show but that guy is long dead

in the hotel where mum n dad didnt want to stay

well the summer sits in that room all on its own

the air so still the air so calm nothing could happen there

angela and stella at the oasis i’m tiny in this one

girls come out of everywhere they make me growl

shut up you great beast calls a person in the crowd

i am whipped i am trapped i am chained like a fox

i am set free again and i take off into the good night

i am a poet with no words that will meaning

i am a singer with no song but your own life

here are the notes here are the scales

here are the beat and the key and the sails

i go on soon

i can hear the crowd arrive

which rich crowd assembled to feast on me

i bet i will taste good to some glutton for living memory

its a joke how it rolls off my back off my cuff

all the notes and words

all perfectly in synch in a cinch

i go out swinging i get hit hard i stay up i sing on

no it hasnt happened yet

we are ahead of myselves

we arent there

we have yet to arrive

night wine the consolation of sleep

soon

the soft adventure in oblivion

the neutral pleasure unfelt

45 Responses to “assorted memories various sizes”

  1. avatar
    Linjo | 16 December 2010 at 8:02 pm #

    God you’re a complex creature Steve. Let it all go and come up to Forster/Tuncurry for the fireworks in NYE. xxx

    • avatar
      Blessed Wild Apple Girl | 18 December 2010 at 9:26 pm #

      So beautifully eliquent Mr Kilby x

  2. avatar
    hellbound heart | 16 December 2010 at 8:17 pm #

    the night
    warm
    humid
    fragrant
    perspiring
    restless
    haunted
    animal and insect chorus of
    summer

  3. avatar
    princey | 16 December 2010 at 9:18 pm #

    Wow, feeling high as a kite after reading that.

    Only 1 more sleep…. 🙂

  4. avatar
    Kristine | 16 December 2010 at 11:34 pm #

    In my hugely feverish state combined with tablets of codeine this all makes perfect sense somehow. But then I think I exited the normal mortal plane sometime yesterday, so there you have it. Australia sounds gorgeous in the summertime.

  5. avatar
    andy | 16 December 2010 at 11:42 pm #

    epic.

  6. avatar
    Freddie | 17 December 2010 at 12:04 am #

    But each day is a lil’ shinier when gets off to a delicious start with a new ttb blog!
    I am always grateful for your poetic words and today’s is especially a feast.

  7. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 17 December 2010 at 12:39 am #

    WOW-

    Todays picture has a definite noir feel to it. As if you just stepped out of a comic book or a graphic novel detailed by the great Miller. SK, our rugged hero contemplating his decision on who,how and why he should save or slay. Great stuff today. I hope that your Feb. 2011 show is advertised and marketed in our newspaper this weekend in Chicago. Man, we gotta get the word out. I have committed 3 other couples, beside my son Alex and I, that have purchased their tickets. The Park West is an amazing venue with incredible sound distribution. I am going to keep it up-tell every1 I know about the upcoming ‘epic’ concert experience. I contacted another major ‘Rock’ radio station (The Loop , WLUP 97.9 Chicago) , and they dismissed me as a overzealous fan and FUCK YA – I AM. I told them to Fuckin stop playing ‘Freebird’ and ‘Aqualong’ for their brain dead listeners and ‘spin’ some “Deadman’s Hand” , hell , I even offered to bring over a copy…the bastard hung up the phone on me.

    Have a great show(s) in the next few days and I will keep fighting in the name of ‘the church’ , here in the cold-wintery-windy city.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Jonny Hollywood | 17 December 2010 at 12:19 pm #

      we are the church army, we will fight in the name of Killer!!!

  8. avatar
    Ryan | 17 December 2010 at 1:12 am #

    very cool!

  9. avatar
    Ron Bonham | 17 December 2010 at 1:35 am #

    So here in IL land we got offered to play a show with a UGH! Black Metal band; let’s see Inner Lights and someone called the Doomriders? No, these two do not go together. I told the promoter that “I think music is something sacred and holy and I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near something the claims to be opposed to that.” Kids these days…leaves shaking his head. BTW I got tickets and hotel booked for the 2 NYC shows, yeah!

    rb

  10. avatar
    evilren | 17 December 2010 at 2:18 am #

    the artist has figured a way to enter our lives. I’m glad to
    have you along Steve.

  11. avatar
    Cecilia | 17 December 2010 at 3:03 am #

    yeah i was with ya that night though you know its impossible

    you never met me but i was with you that night

    Si, estaba contigo esa noche aunque sabes que es imposible
    No me conocías pero yo estaba contigo esa noche

    50

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 December 2010 at 6:06 am #

    good one!

  13. avatar
    Cocoamo | 17 December 2010 at 6:18 am #

    Yes, we are with you
    We say, ourselves in Royal cents.
    But we are shriveling into sniveling oblivion
    We are melting..
    But then again, we were frozen.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  14. avatar
    JigSaw | 17 December 2010 at 8:44 am #

    Hey Steve

    just a quick thanks for the blog of course (when do you find the time dude??) but also for the gig in Adelaide last night….no voice left this morning…among many other flashbacks, id forgotten what a gem 10000 miles away is….nice to see a good crowd there….we are lucky pigs…

    much love

    M

  15. avatar
    thebloggedcrusade | 17 December 2010 at 10:30 am #

    Hi there cap’n K.
    While not being one to blow sunshine up your ass like so many here,Sunshine where sunshine is due.
    Saw you guys at the Gov last night in our one horse town(many thanks to PK for putting us old fans on the door)and gotta say what a fucking show!!
    You and the guys were as good if not better than at any time in your career IMHO.
    Fantastic treatments of the old tunes played and sung to perfection.
    You,bassed and sung and chatted like a teenager.Shit you looked like you were having fun.Loved the banter.(I was amongst others the wanker who yelled out “speech”)Couldnt help myself.Nice work Cap’n.
    Our saviour PK resplendent in all white swapping E-Bow for harmonica.great stuff.Marty’s twelve string attack especiallly on “grind” stupendous.
    (hope his picolo and your basoon lessons are coming along)Tim at the kit was legendary.I had never noticed before how much he did back there with backing and tambo.Brilliant.
    Really loved “Tear it all away” I treasure my double 7 inch I bought on release all those years ago.
    Great cover of “Disarm” btw.I was wondering what song SP covered by u guys?
    Many thanks for the CD (Wild Bill would be charmed) and book and the awesome show.
    Wish I could be in Syd for the philharmonic extravaganza.
    All the best for the rest of the tour.
    Kind regards,
    SB.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 18 December 2010 at 12:31 am #

      SB-

      The Smashing Pumpkins covered ‘Reptile’, you can Youtube it. The audio is so-so but the performance has grit and emotion. Billy C. is a church fan, and I can imagine he was honored to play that in Australia for many ‘church’ fans. I take exception to the “sunshine up the ass comment”, It is ironic that is exactly what you did and than you back peddled and peddled and peddled some more. Let me tell you something, from someone who has followed Sk’s blog site(s) for a LONG time, : SK- does not ‘edit’ or chose to not post blooger comments. Thats because he’s geniune and not cynical like so many people believe him to be. I laughed and laughed and fucking laughed some more reading your comments as you stuck your tail between your legs and back peddled some more, did you step in something, as you backed up, that smelled awful?

      Here’s a tip : GROW A PAIR TO BE PROUD OF !!!!!

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

      MINE ARE MONSTEROUS !!!!!!!!

  16. avatar
    thebloggedcrusade | 17 December 2010 at 10:57 am #

    Hey,and you were lookin pretty fit there cap’n too.
    Nice leapfrog over the stool.Funny shit.
    Cheers.

  17. avatar
    Karen | 17 December 2010 at 11:59 am #

    fucken hell that was awesome
    it blew my mind gasket

  18. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 17 December 2010 at 12:20 pm #

    have a great show Killer!!!

  19. avatar
    Wendy Joy | 17 December 2010 at 12:22 pm #

    Wah! How can you NOT be coming to San Deigo? 🙁
    http://www.roflmachine.com/fun/baw.png

  20. avatar
    . | 17 December 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    words that carry themselves into our open view
    somewhere there in an astral nebula, the good wine soothes
    words that walk, walks that talk, talks that stalk and remain
    blank canvas with a thousand, million faces, profound and insane
    such is an adventure here with everything, something, brilliant & plain

  21. avatar
    thebloggedcrusade | 17 December 2010 at 2:20 pm #

    Looks like you bumped my post?
    Didnt think it was that bad or you so thin skinned sk.
    Oh well.Its your house I guess.

  22. avatar
    thebloggedcrusade | 17 December 2010 at 2:21 pm #

    Oh no u didnt.my mistake sorry.

  23. avatar
    Lyndall | 17 December 2010 at 2:22 pm #

    What a journey! Have read this one several times … Loved every word – the scattered ideas, memories, past-life regression, astral travel and futuristic progressions… Loved it all … NOW – some boring errands to run, random lines transcribed to post-it to pocket … savoured thoughts and daydreams to fill otherwise idle, wasted time in crowded yet vacant waiting rooms.

  24. avatar
    thebloggedcrusade | 17 December 2010 at 2:24 pm #

    Bump this and the other two.what an idiot i am.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 18 December 2010 at 12:33 am #

      Good for you to self-critique yourself. You were spot on !!!!!!

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

  25. avatar
    Kelda | 17 December 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    the night was a virgin before they fucked it up with light
    i address my mistakes in a mirror
    i shower asleep the water burns me awake tho it is quite cold
    when messing with beauty it gets ugly

  26. avatar
    Wilfred Paradise | 17 December 2010 at 10:53 pm #

    SK11:

    How come never a typo, man? It’s an amazing thing.

    You got to play, man, keep playing, playing, just like Bob. Songs meant to be sung. Come back to the States.

    Enjoy, enjoy.

    Wilfred Paradise

    • avatar
      Christina | 18 December 2010 at 8:55 pm #

      “am high i am higher than high

      i am heading out of earthbound currents crossing the divide”

      Wow, Steve … I love these two lines ! Very impressive and atmospheric.
      You really do have a way with words. Did you do English Lit at Uni?

  27. avatar
    algebra | 18 December 2010 at 9:10 am #

    y = (u + x)/(v + thc + c + aus – usa + www + ld + avo)

  28. avatar
    sarah | 18 December 2010 at 11:07 am #

    this makes my body light up. i could read this a thousand times and it would still be fresh. a masterful and magical incantation of words. my favorite poem yet. thank-you.

  29. avatar
    eternallylit | 18 December 2010 at 11:39 am #

    jolted from my sleep while i slipped back into me this morning but i try to return as the reality of my life focuses with the light – yearn for my other me where everything is always as it was and all the things that matter now just never do
    and there on a bed we talked of my art – the critics eye-ing many canvases of colour and drab – it was you who pointed out they put mine aside with a select few and they called it F??? – though i wasn’t sure what that meant
    would we ever go back to the place when we met – sitting on that splintery grey cart? stones on the ground cold and the air green you brought me a cup of orange pekoe tea as you sat on the edge of the bed i make room…

  30. avatar
    TAZ | 18 December 2010 at 1:56 pm #

    hey man, get a hold of yourself.
    hey man, let go of yourself.
    hey man, overthrow yourself.
    hey man, get to know yourself.

    creatures, critters, dandelions growing up through the cracks.
    there’s a watering hole in your soul, don’t feed the buzzards,
    their taste is for pickin’ the bones off of those who wander
    into the night with ancient maps, but no candle light. the
    effervescent catharsis from the S.O.S. of consciousness may be
    the mermaid of ghosts shaken from sunken ships. set sail,
    earthly mariner, for the shores of honey maidens and quiet songs
    that aline the dark star with it’s maker. this is not your fight.
    let the warlords get on with warring… and may the Troubadour
    continue to guide us with those whispers- those seeds of latent
    revelation.

  31. avatar
    nickfiction | 18 December 2010 at 2:36 pm #

    man i loved the church since i was 17 and the most epic US tour of the church is skipping Cleveland!!!! i cant afford Chicago….. I CANNOT MISS STARFSISH OR P=A!!!! man im hurtin

  32. avatar
    thebloggedcrusade | 18 December 2010 at 4:24 pm #

    OK DK.Point taken.They were big enough for me to admit I was wrong when
    I thought my post was bumped.
    Nice to see SK’s are big enough to not take as much offence to it as you.
    Note if I didnt give a ff about SK and TC why would I bother being here and
    saying anything?
    I felt such a fantastic performance needed praising, just not every word SK
    puts on here.
    SB.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 19 December 2010 at 8:43 am #

      OK-SB…Point Taken.

      Glad you liked the show, it was the same set list as ‘the church’ performed in Chicago-April 2010. I have my tix and a front and center booth reserved for their return, an EPIC return, to the states in Feb. of 2011, this upcoming tour will set the benchmark for every other band to top. 3 classic albums in one evening. I hope that they continue the tour when they get back home because all the incredible fans down under MUST witness this experience too. lets cross them up and wish for that to take place for you guys/gals over many miles of land and water.

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

  33. avatar
    Thelonious | 18 December 2010 at 4:35 pm #

    Hi SK. Rest in Peace Captain Beefheart. Like you, a one of a kind. Singer, performer, poet, painter.

  34. avatar
    cinacinacina | 19 December 2010 at 12:33 am #

    Dude, too long.
    Toooo loooong.
    Toooooo boooooring.
    And TOO COOL!

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 December 2010 at 12:44 am #

    Geelong tonight was incredibly impressive. Can’t help feeling you thrive in the true theatre setting as for once the silence, when it’s required of the audience, is of a reverential level – no drunk morons babbling in each others’ faces at the bar to discombobulate you and distract you from your anecdotes and destination generally. Admittedly there might be a loss of energy when the punters are fixed to a certain degree in their seats (I didn’t feel it tonight) but isn’t it amazing that not a single male attendee felt like he was in a position to blurt an idiocy from the secure anonymity of a standing, poorly illumined throng. We could see you and you could us, right? The way it should be for a true transfer. No mad swilling and swaying to get in the way of it.

    Your song introductions were inspired. Not even so much the content – which was mostly hilarious – but the very surprising structures within which you conveyed it. The King of the Pleasing and Slightly Absurdist Segue me thinks. And people, wait ’til you experience Steve doing a condensed journey, complete with voice and movement, through the appalling hits of 1988. Take that on tour alone man. I could’ve watched it all night.

    Marty. Marty, Marty, Marty. The climactic Grind saw you drench the theatre with magnificent sound like your guitar was some insanely out of control fire hose that you alone had the skill, strength and sheer willpower to wrangle. How was your instrument not blown to bits? Unbelievable. Not to mention that moment in 10,000 Miles where you throw your head back with a sustained howl that you somehow control and shape until it delivers the audience back to the chorus with disbelief plastered in the shape of grin.

    My faith is utterly restored.

    P.S. I hope security got the Laughing Leaves CD to you. Those lads would’ve been imbued with some precious musical DNA tonight…

    • avatar
      matthew | 19 December 2010 at 11:56 am #

      Anonymous, 19 December, 12:44am: Beautifully written, couldnae have put it better if I tried.

      Cheers.

  36. avatar
    bionicanna | 19 December 2010 at 9:58 am #

    powerful

  37. avatar
    Donna | 19 December 2010 at 12:36 pm #

    Hello, Steve – I read this the other night and I must have been very tired because none of it really registered. I read it again tonight and am struck by the beauty. Very romantic. That’s my impression, anyway. Also, vey interesting comments here. Hope you’re enjoying this holiday season – that goes for everyone else reading this.


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