posted on March 24, 2009 at 8:12 pm

now its 7.33
i sit in my cluttered spare oom
the one fulla paints n pastels n bits of paper
i am behind on so many things
unanswered e-messages
i cant keep up
i dont wanna keep up
i’m being bombarded with info
spread sheets
call sheets
scripts
plans
introductions
instructions
contracts
files
articles
photos
videos
songs
how could i possibly keep up with it all
one guy writes to me
says he wants to have a correspondence with me..
who does he think i am….robert browning?
marty rings up
can you answer some questions for zillo magazine in germany
oh god if i have to….
i still havent written my article on songwriting
(you think itd be easy but not with punctuation
and bloody capitals
i write how i think
my brain hands down my thoughts
unpunctuated)

still the modern man is under attack from the outside world
everyone can contact ya these days
and then ya fall behind and feel permanently rude
while i was in hospital n after
a week of emails congealed somewhere in the past
i try to get at em
but todays demand my attention
with their exclamation marks in red
and their throbbing attachments
bursting with new bytes of info n disinfo n misinfo
that my groaning brain has to deal with
some of its really important stuff too
important to me to try n remain in this rat race
but i know the rats are all running little faster this year
as i get older n older
some people viewing me like a heritage building
and thats amusing to the eternal outsider like me
i’m happy to be a heritage building
as long as you pay when you enter
but i aint being a heritage building for free
i didnt want a legacy
i wanted to rock, you know
i still do
and standing somewhere solemnly singing utmw
bores the tight black pants off me
i’m into the present you understand
i like what i’m doing now
but i gotta keep moving on
i cant stop n ponder some olde thing
unless i choose to do so here
in the safe warm nostalgia of my own
when i’ll uncover my past gently for you
look
a memory here
a memory there
an anecdote about ploogy
of course
its all part of the service here at TTB
you’ll get all of that n more
when you subscribe for one year
(you’ll probably get it if you dont)
but i resent the constant implication
“your best work is behind you”
in this age of nonentity
cant the hoi polloi grok a driven man like me
and understand that i dont give a flying fig
about utmw and its spot in a poll
yeah…whats that gotta do with the act of creation
or as marco boleyn asks on beltane walk
“but could it gimme love gimme love
gimme little love from gods heart?”
and if the answer is ever no
then one should
as far as possible
decline
so
ok
i got all this work to do
why dont i do it?
laziness
becoming distracted
procrastination
lacking any backbone
lacking any application or structure
i prefer painting to all else
i feel like i’m working but its pleasant
unlike the computer which is unpleasant n unnatural
unlike the tap tap tap to write this rant
yesterday we found some rollerblades someone had left out
they fit the doodles perfectly
and auroras been clomping around in em all morning
must sound like hell down below
she paints a picture
of a plane flying over a rainbow
and the planes saying
save our world!
autumn is in the air
my exhibition in pittsburgh looms n looms
youd be mad not to go
youd be madder not to buy a painting
youd be so happy if you did
and so would i
very happy
indeed
i feel like ive yet to give you yer moneys worth today
but at least you got the warm cosy feeling, right
not necessarily the same thing
the time being is the great differentiator
sorting thru things so you dont have to
writing songs that explain your life somehow
in some lovely way only you can understand
yes im a heritage building
yes i’m a panther on tv
yes i’m a flesh n blood geezer struggling to keep up
yes i’m the reincarnation of your favourite olden daze king
yes i play a mean bass in my mofu mansuit
yes i paint n i sing n i compose n i conspire
yes mister i do it all while you watch
and marvel at such a fine fine mind…its one of a kind
chuck a fucken ducat in my e-hat then
buy my latest output
i gotta loada new songs n paintings waiting in the wings
i would like to salute mr jt n mr dr
who soldier on for me regardless
offering their inestimable services to the t. being
to enable me to cope with a mechanistic outside
that threatens to devour an aspie-like naive ninny like me
i am humbled by their help
i am deeply appreciative to my contributors/subscribers
other long haul geezers like klk and kn
to all of you i owe the best i can manage
and so i strive
a lady named hj
also has enabled my visual art to survive
and inspired me with her across the board dedication
and the constant supply of truly groovy art supplies
yes all my contributors
some solidly donating small amounts
some occasionally contributing large amounts
the very generous and the slightly stingy
the ones who cant contribute at all
the ones who enjoy it with their coffee
sometimes
sometimes
its overwhelming
without this internet thing
where would i be…?
i wouldnt know anything about any of you
and i’m sure
i would have fallen into despair

39 Responses to “7.32 and no blog cooked”

  1. avatar
    davem | 24 March 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    How you manage to continue producing such magic is incredible.
    You ARE one of a kind.
    I wouldn’t worry about the unanswered e-mails, but I do worry about whether you’re paying your taxes….:)

  2. avatar
    Kim Chestney | 24 March 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    Lucky me, has had a sneak peak at that big up n coming PGH EXHIBITION [a la yesterday’s blog]…n lemme tell you its killer….come to our big opening party in April, everyone….food, fun n great freakin’ art!

    More details up soon @:
    http://www.15MinutesGallery.org

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    There’s a smarmy ent. industry blog called Velvet Rope which recently cited you, sk, along with Robyn Hitchcock as two exceptions to the general rule that as you get older, one’s best work recesses deeper and deeper into the past. Agreed, with one notable exception: Robyn Hitchcock. Used to love him, now his melodies won’t penetrate my hardened shell.

    Anyway, for those of you that haven’t heard #23, it’s all the evidence you’ll need. As for utmw, I can sympathize with your boredom. If you must play it, why not bastardize it into something new? Happenstance into utmw, upside down, and back again to the present being?

  4. avatar
    Altres | 24 March 2009 at 10:08 pm #

    Once every so often, I delete every single email, even the ones I haven’t read. Feels fucking brilliant and so far I don’t think I’ve made a difference to the world in doing so. πŸ˜€

    Brian

  5. avatar
    ronbonham | 24 March 2009 at 10:39 pm #

    Best work behind you? What a crock that is! Each thing you put out raises my personal bar of quality higher, keep it up and thank you.

  6. avatar
    restaurant mark | 24 March 2009 at 10:39 pm #

    “your best work is behind you”…certainly not sir!
    as much as i love starfish, heyday, priest=aura…i may indeed love forget yourself and ultc more. the church is a rarity in music…one who actually keeps getting better. and it’s because you push yourselves…don’t try to write the same song over and over. sure…the church has a definate sound but everything doesn’t sound the same…a fine line there. i appreciate what you do so much. i wait on pins and needles for the new record. speaking of new music…don’t know if you or anyone here is a fan of doves. other than the church and radiohead…my next favorite band. anyway, i got an advanced copy of their new one today from a friend…amazing, beautiful, trippy, great songs. really think you would like it…but who knows??? take a listen for yourselves.

    take care steve…everyone
    mark

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2009 at 10:41 pm #

    Has someone left the panther’s door ajar by mistake.. run killer run!

  8. avatar
    Altres | 24 March 2009 at 10:59 pm #

    I’ve just realised, I’m probably one stingy (occasional) reader. However, for a Scottish person, I’m a fucking philanthropist.

    Brian

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2009 at 11:24 pm #

    blessings to you .good night,:) xo

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2009 at 11:38 pm #

    Steve Playing Solo Show

    16th April 2009
    The Cambridge
    Newcastle

  11. avatar
    melissa | 24 March 2009 at 11:48 pm #

    sounds like you need a secretary SK πŸ˜‰

    have a beautiful day everyone x

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2009 at 11:50 pm #

    you can be a heritage building and still rock. isn’t that what you are doing?

    “and standing somewhere solemnly singing utmw bores the black pants off me”
    i can understand the sentiment. i too am into the present (with occassional looks back into the past). if you chose to not play utmw, i’d understand and support ya. at the same time, if you choose to do it (for whatever reason) i’d understand and support you. at this stage of the game, haven’t you earned the right to play what you wish to play, do what you want to do? that’s what pissed me off the other week when some bloke came here bitching and questioning your integrity because the band played utmw. who is he or who am i to question that decision? you wrote it, you recorded it, sang it, etc… none of us had anything to do with it. i know its not as easy as i may think it is, but damn, it’s your performance. do what floats your boat and if you do that, i assure you that there will be a bunch of us willing to row that boat for you.

    damn, somehow lost my password login and i can’t remember it. there you go sk, an example of being under attack from the outside world, too many damn passwords to remember!

    bg

  13. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 25 March 2009 at 12:00 am #

    You bustle, hustle, strive and jive like red ants on speed. wife kids, music, blogging, painting, excercise, concerts, vegan festivals. If you consider yourself a procrastinator, them I’m an inert cadaver.

  14. avatar
    linjo | 25 March 2009 at 1:08 am #

    You may be a ninny (or even a bubble headed booby!) but you are this girl’s inspiration.
    Dearest Brien, maybe your best is yet to come! Linda x

  15. avatar
    Richard | 25 March 2009 at 1:25 am #

    Anchorage, operetta and space saviour are all the proof anyone needs that you blokes are at the top of your game.

    They are, all at once: less produced, less rehearsed, less self-conscious, more raw (and roar!) and more PASSIONATE than anything you’ve done before.

    If you were not the Church, and #23 were your first album, the alt. music press would be falling over themselves to boast having discovered you.

  16. avatar
    the dean | 25 March 2009 at 1:56 am #

    by their very nature of emails can be happily ignored.

  17. avatar
    captain mission | 25 March 2009 at 2:53 am #

    how any one can think your best work is behind you is beyond me.

  18. avatar
    Buckles | 25 March 2009 at 3:58 am #

    I love hearing about what kids do. “Save Our World,” says the plane. I miss my nephew, almost three. All that stuff UandI gotta do as grown ups, two totally different but same worlds, sadly drones out the talking airplane and makes the rainbows invisible.

    Keep the faith.

    b

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2009 at 4:00 am #

    let me ditto what ronbonham said. i think with most musicians/bands that have long, sustained careers there is a tendency to back off, not push the envelope, stay in their comfort zones, etc… when that happens, their best is indeed in the past. there are very, very few long tenured rock bands/musicians that continue to progress and get better with each release. there are so many examples of this happening and so few of it not. sk/church are in pretty heady company when it comes to ageing the right way. from OSAH to ULTC (or #23-haven’t received it yet) or from Unearthed to Painkiller there has been tremendous growth. always pushing, finding new paths to travel, challenging the listener, different methods, etc, but never standing pat or resting on laurels. all that knowledge gained thru the years, all those experiences and memories filed in your head, everything you do now comes with all of that behind it. i haven’t seen it said by you in a long while but you used to occassionally state that you/the band were always striving for perfection knowing that you could never fully achieve it but it was the pursuit of that goal that was motivating (or something close to that). if that is still a motivator then, with all that past experience and knowlege with you, how in the hell can the best from you/the church be in the past? you are the lead singer/bassist for the church not the frackin’ rolling stones. “it’s getting better all the time”

    bg

    restaraunt mark, glad to hear that you got an advance copy of the new doves album. like you, i am a fan and i’m really looking forward to their new one (not quiet as much as the new churchy album, but still, to be mentioned in the same company speaks well for what i think of them)

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2009 at 6:17 am #

    VERDElAY- ty mate, Words are only words now.
    BTW dig yer site
    XTIAN

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2009 at 9:04 am #

    Why not cover “Beltane walk”..? I know it’s staccato but it might suit you.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2009 at 9:23 am #

    i wish i could extract that house and car you put up your arm
    and donate it back to you mister.
    mine too.
    but i cant. that is that.
    there are other riches.
    (and i promise to sort out
    my paypal account
    just for you)

  23. avatar
    veleska1970 | 25 March 2009 at 9:45 am #

    you’re quite the busy cookie and you still manage to write this blog everyday. and i thank you for that immensely.

    “without this internet thing
    where would i be…?”
    exactly!! where would we be? i’m soooo glad we got to know you these past 3 1/2 years. again, thank you.

    “but i resent the constant implication
    “your best work is behind you””
    and rightly so. like the cliche’, you’re like fine wine and just keep getting better n better.

    please don’t ever stop being you.

    lotza love…..

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2009 at 9:46 am #

    OMG! steve solo
    in Newi…(16th april)
    cant wait
    i’m there
    if it’s true of course……..

    yyyyyyeeeeeaaaaggggghhhhhhhh!!

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2009 at 10:04 am #

    And now I wish a good night
    and many blessings to you. πŸ™‚ xoxo

  26. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 25 March 2009 at 10:37 am #

    i got one word for the idea that your best work’s behind you steve….bull shit….

    oh, that’s two

    love always…..

  27. avatar
    Freddie | 25 March 2009 at 10:51 am #

    That’s the spirit, keep on, keepin’ on.
    You’re getting better all the time at what you do;
    but you knew that. πŸ˜‰
    I enjoyed your ramblings today.

  28. avatar
    eek | 25 March 2009 at 10:55 am #

    Uhoh…so I guess sending those 40 emails over the last couple of days demanding you reply RIGHT NOW!!!!! isn’t going to work very well, is it? πŸ˜‰

    i still havent written my article on songwriting
    (you think itd be easy but not with punctuation
    and bloody capitals
    i write how i think
    my brain hands down my thoughts
    unpunctuated)

    Perhaps you could type it out and then email it to someone to put in the punctuation and capitals and also break it into paragraphs for you. Then that person could email it back for you to give a quick check.

    That could reduce some of the pressure on you — at least for that item.

    my exhibition in pittsburgh looms n looms
    youd be mad not to go

    It is going to be very special. I encourage everyone who can to go see it in person — the paintings are fantastic! It will be quite a treat for the senses. I’m very, very excited about it.

    but i resent the constant implication
    “your best work is behind you”

    Well it isn’t. So there.

    I’m astonished at the quality of work — in various media — you are turning out right now. You are super talented and creative and I think the people that “get” you know that. So focus on us instead of the people who wouldn’t know great quality if it smacked them between the eyes.

    And no despair. You are much loved. Remember that always.

  29. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 25 March 2009 at 1:19 pm #

    Yeah, this internet thing is pretty damn cool in that respect, Steve. You get to know about all these people around the world, who absolutely adore your music, whether it’s the old stuff or the new or both (I love it all, though I have a very soft spot for The Church output post-1990).
    You may not have a LARGE following, but I’m sure your fans are among some of the most dedicated fans any band could hope for. LONG MAY YOU RUN.

    It’s quite painful having to wait for Untitled # 23, but I am easing the pain with Incident On Bannerville, Happenstance and Pangaea, and – of course – Painkiller.

  30. avatar
    lily was here | 25 March 2009 at 1:38 pm #

    Steve your best work is behind you, those three apprentices running in your footsteps and those 2 teens, hard critics who adore you, and their beautiful mums. They’re your saviours more than anything we could do. But on another note, Im madly in love with the new album and in awe that you created two such different but fantastic albums so close together – Painkiller and Untitled #23, incredible. My love affair with Happenstance and Pangaea in the last few days has veered towards Lunar and Sunken Sun. While there’s tinges of Pink Floyd, Bolan, Byrds, even Bo Hansson I think this is IT, the one Ive been waiting for. I just adore it. Space Saviour and Deadmans Hand are deadset live stunners and Operetta is a very special favourite, makes me cry in a good way, I cant get it out of my head from Sydney. I want to shout it to the universe…Im wondering if you didnt try so hard with this one, you all just let it naturally fall into place..and there it is.. a masterpiece, wow – in a simple black slipcase, a simple title, no frills just sheer music with these incredible walls of sound.

    I hope you dont mind me posting my film of Operetta here, the link, its just too special not to share.. man, it takes a long time to get them done. I dont think Spielberg has a worry

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2ehxX6SgZ0

    love xxxxx

    ps they should change Campbell to Kilbey Avenue and then maybe it wont rain on my parade everytime Im in Bondi πŸ™‚

  31. avatar
    daveoto | 25 March 2009 at 1:38 pm #

    Robyn Hitchcocks melodies still penetrate my hardened shell!!
    Not as much as yours (SK), mind you. But love his new stuff & he is one hell of a performer,live.

    D.

  32. avatar
    CSTCoach | 25 March 2009 at 3:35 pm #

    an article on songwriting eh? i’d be very interested to read that. make sure you post something here when it’s out, killa.

    glad to hear of so many projects on the go. your best work is indeed being made right now, with even greater to come.

  33. avatar
    catchow | 25 March 2009 at 5:16 pm #

    “your best work is behind you”!!!
    Steve you’re a real and complete
    artist,never in lack of creation,
    always moving on,and wearing sometimes,with so many others,a
    business mansuit…

  34. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 25 March 2009 at 7:21 pm #

    Wikipedia no longer lists SK as an Australian vegan or vegetarian. Is something “fishy” going on Vishnu.

  35. avatar
    steve kilbey | 25 March 2009 at 8:05 pm #

    brien
    i dont do fish
    sk
    its a given!

  36. avatar
    davem | 25 March 2009 at 8:13 pm #

    Killer,
    My copy of Pangaea arrived today. Have only listened to the ep twice so far but if it’s a taster of #23 then it’s going to be seriously impressive.
    I only got to order #23 a couple of days ago – didn’t think I’d squeeze into a ladies medium (oooeerrrr), so waited for a large mans (double oooeerrr mr h) to appear.
    Game on.
    You are a genius.

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 March 2009 at 1:20 pm #

    Steve… If I were rich, I would make it my mission to ensure more people got hear your music. I mean the music you are making now. Painkiller in my opinion contains some of your best material to date. Unfortunately, the reality seems to be that only a select few will ever hear it. That’s too bad. If I win the lottery tomorrow that will change. I would start a label, SK and the painkiller guys would be the first to sign, with carte blanche to do whatever you like and all the money to do it. And a team of promo people to get the songs into movies, radio, videos, commercials for new and improved tasting veggie burgers or how about the “painkiller smoothie” ..whatever..but it seems like it really doesn’t matter to you how many people hear your music in the end. You will keep on doing it, because its who you are…Steve Kilbey must make music, his music, to survive. Unfortunately, I am so broke..I picked a nickel up off of the ground yesterday (that’s 5 pennys over here) so at the moment the best i can do is play painkiller UP LOUD!

    Tim F.

  38. avatar
    A.M. | 26 March 2009 at 6:31 pm #

    From the photos recently posted to The Church’s Myspace page, it appears you look rather nice in them tight black pants!

    Few 50-something-year-old men can rock the tight pants like yourself, SK. You’re only gettin’ better in every way.

  39. avatar
    smoochgirl | 9 April 2009 at 5:20 pm #

    what amazes me, is how over a decade ago, when i first became a church fan, i NEVER would have thought i’d be here like this, reading your daily musings and send replies. over a decade ago, the church seemed so obscurely wonderful, so mysterious. i knew nothing about you or your band mates. now, at my fingertips, i can pull up bios and photos if i wish. your music is still obscurely wonderful, but in a completely different way. now, it’s almost like i know you, as a person, not just some ol’ “washed up rocker” from the land down under. πŸ™‚ technology is both a blessing and a curse. in this case, it’s absolutely fabulous.


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