posted on December 28, 2005 at 10:06 pm

seriously tho
i would be goode as miraz
make sure the head honchos hear about it
spread the word
sk for miraz
or we gonna boycott that thang
im about the right age
already got a medi evil beardy
with touches o white
to signify(as miraz)
authority
and severity
i could be evil and cowardly
hey i could do that in my sweet sleep
then i could be sadly heroic
after being tricked into fighting the youthful caspian
by plotting generals
and of course
lose mah life
honourably….in the end
people
tell em im only asking
a 3 digit figure
tell i got the beardy
will lose earrings and or suntan if nec.
will cultivate oppressive mannerisms
(ask other bouys in the crunch)
will be autocratic and scheming
see above
will be paranoid and self serving
a massive superioty complex….
what am i doing…
assasinatin’ my own charactah….?
cos i know you going
“no sk
you aint like that….
you one of goode guys
yer no “$traight”…
are ya….?
sk…..???!”
well i was t’inking again
that perhaps if any “straights” reading this today
would like to hire me
in any capacity
say giving basse lessons to yer bored millionaire twins
or maybe running thru pastels and portraits:the naive and the very fucking naive,
at yer local well paid arte school gig
or maybe on yer board o directeurs
in an advisory esoteric capacity
(and bohos
dont worry
all the squillionss i make
will be channelled directly back into the revolution
laundered thru my bank card natch
and i pledge more rehearsal rooms
for hopeless youf groups
painting lessons for people who arent interested
art appreciation classes for angry philistines
song writing courses for tone deaf oafs
whod rather watch the footy
ballet classes for meat pie eating tilers labourers
poetry for yonder noisy bastards
and yoga for couch potatoes
“get super fit and spiritual, while eating mars bars
and watching dr fill”
then swimming classes for hydrophobiacs
orienteering for people who hate the great outdoors
friendmaking for sociopaths
pathmaking for friendly pathfinders
hobbits basketball
and all the hoopla you could imagine
elect me people
get me into something
a film
a political party
a new years eve party
a new years aurora party
a job in some nice office w/ goode view and swivel chair
get me some connections
use yer clout
collective and individual
i know a lotta of ya are bigwigs
marine biologists
company menne
tycoons
media fucking mogulss
whatever you are…
get me a gig
get me inne
inside the system
in clover
set up for life
make it happen for me, loyal friends
make sks welfare your nyes thingo
get me mah own ivory tower
look down at ya all from
you hoi poloi
you common rude people
get me out of obscurity in bondhemia
let me shimmy and stroll
down the corridors of powder
put me on the front page of the gossip rags
ONE SIDE OF ME EMACIATED
THE OTHER SIDE COMPLETELY OBESE!!
LEAVING A REHAB WITH CATH MOSSY AND BABY STUMBLES
GETTING HITCHED TO NICOLE WINDFREE AND KEEF URBANE
DIVORCING ELLE THE BODY DOUBLE
IN LAS VEGAS OR PARIS HILTIN’
OR BROAD PIT GOES CRAZEE IN BAHAMAS ZOO
AND MY MOTHER WAS AN ALIEN ELVISSS!!!!!
goode mourning my fans and adorers
make it happen
NOW!!!!

11 Responses to “a wanting wardrobe i still explore…”

  1. avatar
    captainmission | 28 December 2005 at 11:12 pm #

    Can’t help ya on this one, i’m on the outside looking in and its not a pretty sight. Suggest you sell your soul again to some malevolent lesser demon, i heard the Shedim are offering some sort of discount, post xmas day sales ironically. Perhaps following the CSL theme Wormwood may be able to help get you an interview with Screwtape.

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2005 at 11:40 pm #

    Out of the Silent Planet? (said with a texas accent… through treacle)

    RA

  3. avatar
    ADE | 29 December 2005 at 12:14 am #

    …try primary school teaching, like me
    – controlling 30 egocentric individuals is good for the old ego, though I’m showing a bit of grey…

  4. avatar
    esskayer | 29 December 2005 at 5:00 am #

    Ye Olde Steve–OK, no Merican accents in any more Narnia flix. Agreed. Only deduction I can make of why the wolvies spoke like Yankees is they wanted to make ’em as evil sounding as possible. You know, us war mongerin’, obese, porno obsessed, SUV drivin’, elitist Mericans set on takin’ over the entire fuckin’ world with our egocentric worlde VU’s….This is not a pome SK, please don’t delete me oh holy one from this magical kingdom. I humbly beg of you not to. I agree wholeheartedly–you should be in the mooveez. But then if you became a moovee star the next Choich album would get delayed about five years and purty soon you’d be dead Olde Steve and no mo Choich CD’s. Don’t do it, dude!!

  5. avatar
    Darko Flagg | 29 December 2005 at 5:34 am #

    Daer Lost Unkle,
    Why you want to poot around with those hollow woodies? why not get chattin’ to Jan Svankmajer or Jodorowsky?- y’know someone that can immortalize you in the right way – not in fairy floss and predictable US market gumpf!

    12″

  6. avatar
    Progressaurus Rex | 29 December 2005 at 8:03 am #

    i can see you as miraz,
    but it’s hard work…
    you’d have to practice your swordfighting and hang with a bulgy bear, sergeant-at-arms
    (don’t let them suck their paws).
    you’d have to duel the young ian mccullough,
    and be a telmarine,
    never to return to pre-telmar
    piracy days
    (stabbed in the back, no less)

    perhaps to start,
    a song about miraz
    or if you already are miraz,
    you can write about your wife,
    prunaprismia…

    [this all, of course,
    is to prepare you for your role;
    to ‘get into character’,
    as it were]

    in the meantime,
    i’ll get on the phone
    to my FABULOUS friends
    in lost angelees.

  7. avatar
    gavgams | 29 December 2005 at 11:37 am #

    Sure, us here at AphidBrain need some esoteric advisory capacity.
    Job description about: mystery, reverence, delightful conceits, foils and counterfoils (a little twist), and all to float and glide like circles in the air.

    Stick to the tunes, I say. Bugs Bunny (the green stuff) is of no consequence.
    The better carrot is the Crunch, sublime in esotoric advisoriness.

  8. avatar
    chukleslovakia | 29 December 2005 at 1:52 pm #

    swivel chairs are the new ball and chain and are severely over-rated.

  9. avatar
    Joanna Satana | 30 December 2005 at 11:16 am #

    I could prolly get ya a gig here in Dullass (dallas) Tejas at the natural foods grocers I currently shuffle about in.

    Perks? Discount on luscious organics, not a product inside containing artificial anythings nor preservatives or hydrogenated oils, fab gourmet items, and HEAPS of wine and beer. Also, good medi benefitz, and stock options! (god I would be rich had I not sold my largest chunk off for 100 hits of acid and a month off in New Orleans, near 15 years ago…..SIGH)

    The NOnPerks? Crap for pay, long hours, working with the public (a trial if you lean towards the agoraphobie), and sweat breakin work most times (who’d THINK atta grocery store?)

    If I were you, I’d hold out for some better offers LOL! Though the month of being Tim Leary in NOLA (now utterly devistated) is one of my fondest memories ever. That’s Ivory Tower enough fer me!

  10. avatar
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