its a straynge thing to write a blog, childe
i sit here now ready to tell you about my day at earquacks
suddenly it occurs to me
why would they care?
why does anyone on this earth care about my eustachian tubes
and it seems to be a tremendous honour
and no
i dont think youre toadies or syncho-fants
i am genuinely touched by the goodwill directed at me
it helps
believe me
you are my e-solace
last night ricki miami comes over
minna comes over
we have vegan spring rolls with pee-nut source
we have delicious fresh salad
with avocado slices
baby tomatoes (isnt that cruel?)
spinach and lettuce leaves
everybody talking
but i cant hear a word
how frightening being deaf will/could be…
my right ear with no infection is pretty gone
i just sat there
like they were all speaking a foreign lang
laughing at the right spots
aurora does one of her long monologues
in her jimmy stewart accent
and everyone at the table laughs and yells with delight
i didnt catch a word
oh dear
anyway
went to see earquack specialist today
you know
one of those guys with an office with a great view
and a team of receptionists tapping dutifully at their screens
he looks in my ear and sighs
when are you going on tour he says doubtfully
first gig next tuesday doc says i
hope yer not flying anytime soon says earquack
well steven
you have an outer and middle ear infection
you also have tiny bones growing in your ears
as a result of swimming in cold water without plugs
(which of course i now use)
at this juncture earquack
produces the latest type of swimmers earplugs
these molded jobbies
where can i getta setta them i ask earquack
ah ha he says
well i just happen to carry them
because i dont want my patience driving all over town
(that was a little pun there)
anyway
he sucks out my ear with a thingy
he puts something else in that really really fucking hurt
i ‘m jumping away from him and hes restraining me
saying
this is almost the last one
i keep trying to brace against the pain
but like a dent-ist probing that inflaymed nerve
when he hits the spot
you just lose it
it bypasses all yer mechanisms
and this white light of pure pain
connects your ear to a whole universe of agony
anyway he chucks some hydrogen peroxide in
and i sit for a while
my head tilted
while my ears fizz crackled schnapped but never popped
it seemed like at any moment
the inside would reach the outside
and i would hear again but it never eventuated
meanwhile im looking at this very nice diagramme of the hu-man ear
i’m so sorry my dear atheist friends
when one sees this incredible delicate device
this machine of flesh and blood and fluids and hairs
of chambers and drums and skins
which enables us to translate auditory stimuli
into all the wonderful and terrible sounds of our world
so we can tell a cello from a viola
so we can listen to the birds and the babbling bloody brooks
how complex?
how did this come about?
by accident?
by trial and error?
i’m sorry
when i see the way the little hairs oscillate
how the fluids transmit sonic impulse
all the little bits and pieces interconnected
machines designed to last for a lifetime of constant use
the designer is a genius
no this sort of thing does not just come about of its own accord
to see how your ears (are supposed) to work is
a humbling and reaffirming experience
i say to god in my heart
you are real you do truly exist
and i feel him shrug and say
of course do you like that ear design?
i have no answers my little pigs
i cant tell you who to believe in
but how could any logical sane person
look at this thing
and not perceive the ingenius love
that our creator has imbued in this one little part of creation?
these ears are wonderful contraptions…..
anyhow
then i have a hearing test
which consists of having little tones played
(sounds like enos discreet music)
everytime i hear one i press the button
then they do a kind of sonic sonar on my lugholes
the earquack surveys the results sadly
its hard to believe just music has done this to your hearing
he said
and then
what dinner last night had confirmed
the hearing in the right ear is almost as bad as the infected left
any cures for tinnitus i ask
stay away from loud noise forever he said
come back on monday he said
im gonna drain the middle ear when the outer one clears up
what will that be like i asks
ahhhh he shakes his head and looks at me guiltily
anyway
i can rehearse he said
i dont know how that will go or even if possible
i feel like a cymbal or a stray guitar squall could sink my ears forever
your hearing is far too important to compromise says earquack
so looking forward to monday
the drain age
oh christ my ear is hurting now like someones in there stabbing me
with a barbed electric harpoon
i knock down 3 neurofen plus
3? says nk
yes 3
i always need more than anybody else
thats my nature
i need more
and i build up tolerances quickly
the quack takes my bloodpressure etc
perfect he says
youre still a young man he says
young at fifty three
what good will it do if i am going deaf
and the damage is done children
i mean the band hardly ever plays these days
i must never listen to my pod on headphones again
especially those intrusive ones
is this the end of my ears?
stay tuned
same kil-time
same bee-channel
the time being fades down into sea of earpain and static
acre of ears
posted on December 6, 2007 at 2:43 am
thank goodness. you are back.
been waiting for you until now. have a good rest.
…….. ……….
it WILL be better believe it and it WILL be. take it easy. relax. forget about the gig. what’s so important? …
pray for you.
cancel the gigs – look after your ears – consider – the regret of continuing with the shows and doing permanent damage vs cancelling then getting all fixed up and going damn i coulda done the gigs – shows can be replaced – ears cannot
pk and mwp can do church unplugged
afternoon ziz! thats what id say to you! the poor baby tomatoes!its a crewelle werwd innit!…kinda similar to when you hear that somebody was hit by a cricket ball,in the park..{because “the park” would be the most painful place to be hit,yes?}…rest,rest,rest. heal,heal,heal.take care,and love to you,as always,gen xxxxx
Steve….as much as it hurts me to say it because I am so looking forward to seeing you guys at the Forum, I’m not sure how you could possibly do your upcoming gigs with your ear in that state.
You have such a responsiblity to yourself and your family to let it heal properly.
Maybe discretion is the better part of valour this time.
Anyhoo…I’ll be sending you good vibes and healing thoughts.
I desperately wanna see you play…so I desperately want your ear better. Selfish huh…but I’m sure you probably feel the same.
steve those neurofen plus’s mess with your head, try the cold filtration teqnique, at least that will get rid of most of the filthy neurofen and leave you with most of the codine.
does it also discharge some pus..? please answer me cause i wanna send some medicine.
L.
good luck and don’t give up hope. Once the infection clear up you’ll be right.
my condolences my dearest brother
remember how i once possessed
those fighter pilot eyes
20/10 vision?
now i am afraid to drive over the mountains at darktime
peering over the steering wheel
what has all this poring over dusty nasty books done to the babyblues?
here, see something funny
my dear grandmother and ts eliot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCXyQC4hsq4
tell nk cook some mung bean(green gram)soup to you. very easy to make: 1 or 2 cup of green gram. water(5 cups or more. up to her.) boiling them until the beans are very soft. put 1 or 2 spoons of sugar. wait until it’s not very hot. drink the soup, and eat the bean. twice a day. it’s also good for children when the weather is very hot. give it a try.
L.
I have to agree — if there is any chance you can swing it, don’t do the gigs Steve. Empathizing with others, though it would suck not getting to see you guys, how tough would it be knowing you were in all kinds of pain playing! Do what you can/need to not to cause yourself more trouble in the long run man.
Thoughts and prayers your way…
-william
eastest, but miraculous. try it please.
easiest. sorry.
L.
waiting here for your answer.
friends, romans, bloggers
lend him your ears
Your unplugged CD’s are awesome. The incisive “All Music Guide To Rock Music” rightfully loved them. “Dabble” and “Acoustic And Intimate” are musically sublime.You can still do studio recordings and mellow acoustic tours. No doubt the nuances of your craft could be compromised in a live electric concert. Townsend did recover but I never really liked the WHO !
Before I awaited this still NOT definitive medical prognosis, I delved into my past and listened to the original 10 CC- Stewart, Goldman, Godley and Creme. “The Original Soundtrack” and “How Dare You”. Great stuff but they broke up.
Peace, Love, Hope and Faith to Sk. Despite your travails, your elucidating spiritual passages about the intricate modus operandi of the ear bolstered and vivified my faith in a Supreme Being.
Don’t Give Up. (No I am not referring to Peter Gabriel’s song)
I WOULD IF I COULD!!!!!
what does it mean ‘give up’? he’s not so serious, he’ll be recover soon. and even though it’s a bit serious, he’s a man who never knows giving up people. we all have dream, but we dont really wanna achieve it(as many of us do), but he’s different. do you merely admire him cause he’s a genius? nope. for me, it’s his desire.
By unplugged I was mostly writing about The Church’s exemplary 2005 and 2007 CD’s. The 2 el momento’s!!I’m crashing!
so he’s always young. much younger than those twenties.
what’s the matter what your talking about?
Ah shit, now you’ve got Olde Amps worried…I most certainly want your ears to heal Kilbey…but this couldn’t possibly mean the end of Yon Chrunch could it??
Even if you couldn’t play loud geetars any more, could you exist as a studio-based groop of craftsmen??
I wish you peace and strength sk.. I hope yu recover mate..blessings jr…….
O_O
[gulp]
¿
It’s a bummer you’re not allowed to fly to Melby sk, I was really looking forward to the Forum gig too, but like others have said, your health is the most important thing here, so do what’s best for you. 🙁
Hope you feel better soon,
Love Amanda
P.S. Melby Symon, which night were you going?
I am sorry to hear this my friend..but without music???what would you have been!
I have faith in your ears Killa
So buckle up that fender and listen to the pain………………………………………….
Steve, I have tinnitus as well and I’m only 36. The audiologist I see says the worst sufferers of tinnitus usually fear sound full stop. You, obviously loving sound, loving music, are in pretty good shape for dealing with it in the long run I’d reckon. It is very depressing dealing with it initially however. Like a naughty child – the more you attend the naughtier they can get, much like tinitus. As for the hearing loss, that’s a tougher thing to deal with. I empathise.
All the best and look after yourself.
Church Fan
Poor Steve, must be scary to lose a sense, even temporarily. Hope you dont lose your equilibrium on stage with all those bright lights and dong your head.
Watching a spider weave its intricate web and then dismantle it makes my indocrinated atheist mind ponder the question of whether there is a creator. I bought my little daughter a baby rat from the pet shop (no doubt bred from generations of pet shop rats) A few months later this house bound rat saw a rubber snake on the floor and went berserk trying to kill it. Where does instinct come from? Not particularly profound thoughts I know on the question of a god, but enough for this simple mind to ponder. I got teary watching little G singing the praises of the lord at her salvo gig tonight. Atheist old mama is mellowing. On that note I would like to apologise for any offence taken by others regarding my “sychophantic blog wafflers” comment and hereby finish this waffle.
Linda
hope you get better
Take some time to heal SK.
We all love you.
xx
Feel better soon. Peace to your nerve endings!
thanks people
i am hoping to do shows still
appreciate your concern
no pus ….yet
love
killbe
Sorry to hear your in pain my friend….and sorry to say I did laugh my arse off at your blog…in a nice kinda way of course….hope to see you at the forum…pickleman
dude
not good news. definitely look after yourself, numero uno. look after yourself and the rest will take care of itself. all the best.
M
Now you’ve got me all worried, Steve. I hope this doesn’t mean I’ll never get the chance to see The Church live again…
I often listen to music with head phones on, and people often tell me it’s turned up way too loud. But I never turn it down. Maybe I should. Hope you get better…
Thomas Thomsen, Denmark.
and why would we care? because we love you, that’s why. 🙂
i cringed and cowered down the entire time i was reading about your treatment…like i’ve said, i’ve been there and i know what kind of agony you are in. i had all sorts of ear infections as a child and as a result, i’m partially deaf in my left ear. went through the whole tubes bit and all you have gone through with the syringes and ear vacuums and whatnot. several times, both as a child and adult.
you’re exactly right about God~~the human body is one of the greatest perpetual motion machines ever devised. its genius is astonishing and mind boggling.
the prospect that you may be going deaf really saddens me deeply. so i have to think positive that it won’t ever happen.
sending lots of hugs and healing vibes your way.
lotza love…..
suddenly it occurs to me
why would they care?
Of course we care. We like you Steve and we care about you. I do have to admit I almost included “make sure to tell us all the gory details” about your doctor visit in my comment on your last blog (I chickened out just before posting). Let’s face it, someone else’s gory details often make highly entertaining reading, especially when well written (so make sure we get ’em after next Monday’s appointment too, ok? 😉 ).
More seriously I wish for you quick complete healing and relief from this pain. Take good care of yourself.
and i feel him shrug and say
of course do you like that ear design?
I think I would have told him I wasn’t feeling particularly thrilled with it at the moment. 😉
YOU BETTER TAKE CARE STEVE,xx ,btw thank you so much for the “creation“ comments,that you shared with everyone, i totally get it, what do you say when someone says to you ,but where did the creator come from,that must be an acccident …know what i mean,,,?
,,,,,,……ha…..
bye for now
chris
uk
man.. im so sorry for your sake..have faith..
pat
ha ha hah a
love.
from
Linda (anonymouses daughter)
———————
oh my gosh. my daughter typed this.
steve,
get that lemurian crystal out of it’s draw and put it under your pillow tonight.
please…..will you do that for me?
please?
just give it a go…i can’t tell you any more….ok?
love, andy L.
killer…just trust me.
Maybe you outta do an extremely quiet album next. Your own Eno release.
John Garratt
i truly am sorry about your hearing sk, i guess ear monitors are in order?
andy.. you are such a nice guy. i’ll treat you a nice lunch if i have a chance.
if you’ve seen it, steven, do it please. i believe it too.
To Fanaticandy,
You are getting scary
Kilbey, when you can hear again, download this ambient album from this netlabel. I liked it a lot. Never heard of the guy, but it’s good. Good label too. No, I’m not the guy who made the album and have no affiliation.
http://zenapolae.com/node/167
Canuck
Omigosh this hurts to read and feel. Only you and yours can source the wisdom of what to do now.
Whatever happens, you will be alright. Things will work out and the universe will support you.
When I have something wrong with me I always pull out Louise Hay’s Heal Your Body. As I’ve mislaid mine, I just checked online. The afformations are cool and her connections usually make sense to me.
Here are some quotes…
‘Abscess Fermenting thoughts over hurts, slights and revenge.
*I allow my thoughts to be free. The past is over. I am at peace.
Ears Represent the capacity to hear.
Earache Anger, not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil.
*Harmony surrounds me. I listen with love to the good and the pleasant. I am a centre for love.
Tinnitus Refusal to listen. Not hearing the inner voice. Stubbornness.
*I trust my Higher Self. I listen with love to my inner voice. I release all that is unlike the action of love.’
xxx
Steve,
really sorry to hear about all the ear problems. i hope u can make a full recovery soon. greetings to all the guys and T tomorrow.
b/w,
KevinN
good luck with your ears, sk
i wouldn’t wish ill health
on anyone
peace
pucci
jeez, that sounds like absolute misery – or if absolute misery has a sound, i guess that’s it…
really pulling for ya brother, and worried about your hearing. my greatest fear would be to lose my sight, cause i love reading above all other pastimes and artforms. it must be the same for you and music/sound.
take care, and heal well.
ryan
Metal health will drive you mad!
chin up Orpehus,
one can always find the music when one wants to.
xo
M
Steve….another night on…hope the ear is feeling better. Lucky you weren’t in Melby overnight. 30 degress C all night…you wooda had some kind of bigger mess brewing in the your ear..YUK.
Cold change just blowing through now..YEAH.
PS. Amanda…I’m going Sunday nite to the Forum…couldn’t get a leave pass for Satdy nite with xmas/family/life thingies going on at this time of year.
Are you going both nites ?
ok
my ear feels mucho better today tho still blocked
the pressure seems to have decreased
to andy and others
the lemurian crystal is with me day and night
i sleep with it in my left hand
its gradually showing me how to use it
a bit like learning an instrument
it takes time and you gotta feel your way
i leave it in the sun where it charges up
i wash it in the sea to take away the bad vibes (maaan)
and i carry it round with me all the time
it discharges its energy like a little sun-gun
but theres more to it than that
its very very subtle
its alive
and its voice is very faint
someone else asks that age old question
but who created god?
well god is outta the system my friend
like an umpire in a game of footy
he is not subject to the rules
you see
one observes , say, the human ear
when one considers the innovation
the complex design
the designs success
(i mean, it works, doesnt it?)
etc
its very very hard
to ascribe this to evolution
big bangs
or chance
i feel like im witnessing a product of conscious thought
as i do when i look out my window
(using my god given eyes, another miracle of design)
and see the wonderful range of trees flowers and birds
i do not believe a barren planet populates itself
i do not believe “life” is a result of lightning striking some kinda pool of chemicals
(puh-lease)
so i assume
(a very human assumption)
someone outside this game
dreamed up the game
and maintains it
and will decide when its finished
cos nothing i see here
is capable of doing it
so it must be something outside the box
that is my thinking process
god is so mysterious
and so obvious
maybe youre uncomfortable with the word god
(i am a bit)
dont let words get in your way
seek out the source of all life
however you see it
and connect!
SK – I love you man and your talent.
If you really think you can do the gig’s at least make it acoustic and darn quiet – maybe Timmy P on percussion only – all PK and MWP noise-gadgets banned.
Cover Music For Airports live, just don’t fxxk up your hearing please!
Hope it goes really well whatever you decide.
Love,
Belfy
Thank goodness/god/your quack/crystal etc, that your feeling better sk. I was so depressed yesterday thinking “that’s it, no more live sk, no more live church!!”. Great news you’ll be playing, but I’m still worried about the plane trip (esp. the take-off when the ears go pop!…no, no you’ll be ok!). Take care and good luck with rehearsals today, just keep away from TP’s cymbals ok!
Love Amanda
P.S. Symon I’ll be there Sunday too, it’s good to know there’ll be a few of us Church freaks amongst the Divinyls mob, I can’t wait!
Kilbs…that was lovely. A blog within a blog!
I hate it when you say “why would they care?”. In my hall…big Church collage, old clips, photos etc. Music room….piccies of killa with me and missus M. Kitchen…P=A poster. Living room…..kilbey prints.
I adore all that you do. You’re a big part of my life, every day. Have been for 25 years.
Love you more than you can imagine.
xx
I hope your getting betta
killa-cabbage!
A deaf kilbey is like a tiger without his stripes, a dick chain-ee with a soul.
just wont do.
A positive word from me too you.
get well.
Hope you and yours are well.
-theglynnisjohns
Actually, the design of the human eye is a little whack. I’ve read that there are things out of alignment when it comes to our eyesight, and given our frame of reference, we don’t really notice the faults.
John Garratt
be well
be safe
be great
timf
Dear SK
Hope the ear’s better soon. Don’t muck around with these sensitive organs, do whatever the quack says. I had middle ear trouble when I was a babe & it’s affected my balance on stairs, much to the delight of these thug bouncers that seem to appear every place you go to. I’m a prime target.
Please take it easy. Still enjoy your music, just turn down the volume for a while. If we miss you on Tues, maybe we can have an intimate show somewhere later when you feel better. But remember, your family & your health are the most important things in life.
Take care
Lady Di
take care sir.
love this mini blogge within blog.
oh….your’e a smart cookie steve!
youv’e made me feel a bit silly now…..
of course you knew anyway!
keep a close eye on it though….
they have a habit of disappearing.
go killer!
andy L.
I’m surprised Belfrank didn’t recommend pouring manuka honey in your lugs. Hi Frank, how’s life?
Hope it all goes well, Steve. Best of luck with the gigs, but more importantly, keep those ears safe, use acoustic earplugs.
http://www.sensorcom.com/prodtype.asp?PT_ID=271
Love and lack of eardrum buzz.
Brian
i am sorry gen x , i had a bad day, is that a good enough excuse.
hey anon.!?….no problemo!…a nod’s as good as a wink,to blind woman! ;-)……have a goodunne all! love . gen x
Glad you are feeling better today SK. Hope the ear continues to get better over the weekend.
It was in my early stoner days that I realized there had to be a God. After imbibing on a bong with my beloved parents not at home I became entranced with spiders and ants outdoors. They were/are magic and elaborate and I was overcome with compunction when I remembered killing them as a child. My reverence for God’s nonhuman creation commenced. As for people I love the benign ones in the metaphysical spirit world.
sorry also to brien, had a bad day- negativity was my tool. Feel better now though, but stupid for my ignorance towards both yourself and Genx. Sincerest regards, the sermon.
ps. I really don’t mind the things you guys say, i have no real excuse for my actions, all i can do is say sorry and remove the post (if i knew how)
I hope your ears continue to improve and that you do take these symptoms seriously. I damaged a nerve in my back 10 years ago from playing violin because I didn’t listen to the pain-I kept playing. Music is important but your body is more important. I was in so much pain for 2 years I contemplated suicide and the same pain returned this year out of the blue so the damage is still there. I’ve only recently got it under control again with medication to calm the nerve. Please let your ears heal and don’t take any risks. You can see that your fans understand.
I remember going to see the Church at the Metro back in the early 80’s and my ears were ringing for about 4 days so I can hardly imagine what your poor ears have been through.
Steven,
I said a little prayer for ya today. I hope the infected ear gets better and that the other one doesn’t get any worse. Hang in there.
Freddy Merky
say a little prayer for me!
can anyone tell me why the Divynals (or however u spell it) have top billing over the church. And how did this combination come about? Did Chrissy A. ask the Church to support her band? Seems really strange to me.
he puts something else in that really really fucking hurt
i ‘m jumping away from him and hes restraining me
saying
this is almost the last one
“i keep trying to brace against the pain
but like a dent-ist probing that inflaymed nerve
when he hits the spot
you just lose it
it bypasses all yer mechanisms
and this white light of pure pain
connects your ear to a whole universe of agony”
OUCH!
That hurt just reading that!
My fingers lunged towards my own ear in empathy!
“any cures for tinnitus i ask
stay away from loud noise forever he said”
as bizarre as this sounds…at the exact moment I read this line, the music coming through my earplugs suddenly stopped…
give up the i-pod!
Hope you get better ASAP, SK.
CHESS ANYONE??? OR SHALL WE SAY THE GAME OF LIFE, WE ARE PONS, IT’S UP TO US TO MOVE OUR PON ACROSS THAT GAMEBOARD CALLED LIFE TO BE CROWNED KING OR TO BE CROWNED QUEEN DEPENDING ON YOUR PREFERENCE, HE HE HA HA…
THE BEYOND WITHIN
my dear readers
thank you so much for your well wishes
you have no idea how i appreciate them
sk
My little boy has had seven sets of grommits and three other ear operations….
I know what you are going through Steve. Hang in there and get better! And come back to Perth!
Hey SK 🙂
Just wanted to send you along my best along with everyone else here 🙂 I hope your poor ol’ ears make a speedy recovery.. the recent trip to the specialist sounds almost as terrifying as going to the dentist – *gulp*!!
My sis and I are SO excited about seeing you guy’s in Melby on the 15th … so keeping my fingers crossed that all will be ok. But most important is your health .. so lots of good vibes are being sent your way.
I’ve just gotta say I’m thrilled to bits about the crystal. It’s a good choice for very special people 🙂
Best to you 🙂
My stomach slowly sank into my feet as i read this.
I have an appt with ent in 10 days as the hearing in my right ear is quickly going south (more than usual). The increased volume of the tinnitus is now making me crazy. I can’t imagine what it is like for you. I’m sure you will keep us informed. Glad to hear that the pain has receded some.
p.s. i also did the “lurching out of my chair cha cha” when doc was digging around in my ear, apparently searching for gold.
love, Miss Grove