posted on March 8, 2008 at 7:53 pm

woke up wasted and headachey
the wrath of grapes (and other things)
the whole family is auditioning for a commercial
a mummy and her baby
(tick) can do that..(tho scarlet not much of a baby now)
determined 8 year old girls
(tick) can do that in spades
a bearded rugged intelligent old geezer
(tick) thats gotta be me..ok take out intelligent…
ooh daddy
you picked a bad night to get way-sted..
daddy throws his usual hangover cure at it
which is 2 spliffs two cans of v and a load of panadeine
(which minus the panadeine is his usual start anyway)
eventually we get the troops loaded up
to sunny woolhara
up queen street
find the place
loadsa other hopefuls
i glare at the other beards
ta tellya the troof
i had more antarctic scientist in my little toe
than all of em put together
eventually after much ‘anging about
we get called in
theres the lady who runs the agency
and the director
heres the kilbey family she says to him
we introduce ourselves
when i say steven
she says steve
i nod
steve kilbey
uh huh
oh no
i been trying to stay anonymous-like
i reckon if they think people are gonna know who i “am”
i may not get the gig
she runs over to director
who is a bit younger than she is n me
and hes from nz and he might be gay
she says
oh its steve kilbey hes very well known blah blah blah
shaddup lady
shes goes on a bit more
look i say
nobody knows me now i hardly ever play
werent you on at the opera house last night ? she says
yeah but…..
its hard to see if this sways the director one way or t’other
and what are your ages
well scarlet is 2 n half
eve n aurora pipe up
natalie says im 32
and i say im 53
the weight of the subtraction hangs in the air
we all look at each other
i burst out
oh my god im 21 years older than my wife..oh no oh no
everyone has a good laugh ha ha ha
next up the woofle blows her chances
by acting like a turkey
everytime the cameras on her shes struggling straining rebelling
as soon as its off shes placid happy co operative
out she goes with mummy to wait outside
then aurora does her audition
which was climbing on a chair pretending its a tree
she does it with her dopey “this is ridiculous” face
like eyore would….this’ll never work
the directors saying to her
oh its a lovely tree…look you can see for miles
but aurora sits there like….i dunno…a goose
evie starr aptly named has a crack
she responds to herr directeurs cues
oh the chair is a wondrous great oak
and she climbs it sitting in its leafy branches looking quite beatific
evie is dressed in a lovely black n white dress
her wonderful thick chestnut curly hair is up
and she looks quite bloody gorgeous
next up me
i peer into the frozen south pole
which is really a room in woolhara
we discussed my beard
steve are you willing to thicken your beard up….?
its too manicured he says
druid for this money i put it in plaits if you want
we drive off
nk not rating her n woofles chances very hi
aurora…little hope
me n evie shoo-ins
when are they letting you guys know ?she asks sadly
YOU guys…not US guys ….hmmm…lets see
at 6 oclock
now very tired n lazy
i meet elektra down at the beach
we’re gonna have dinner but shes had “like 6 milkshakes, daddee”
we get to pavillion n order salads
no salads left
she has water
i have a muffin
lucky im tired
cos lately elli n i been arguing a bit
her materialistic approach disappoints me a little
we been clashing
tonite i just sit there n listen
which i usually (can) never do
elli talks about clothes shoes hair etc
about blonding cream with lemon juice
which has made her brown hair blonde
i impress her by saying i tried to dye my hair
with lemon juice when i was ten…to look like surfies
oh wow she says
a wedding arrives at the pav
elli talks about their clothes n hair n shoes
we disagree in a friendly fashion about it all
we drift over to visit minna where shes working
so so so different now
these identical people
so different
elli blonde tanned breezy
minna dark pale slightly troubled
i get some chips
elli n i talk some more
i buy her some drops for her tired eyes
we walk home
go in and talk to her n karin
elli doesnt want a deep n meaningless conversation w/ me
i understand this (finally)
just leave things well enuff alone
we had a good night
go home put doodles into bed
watch an episode of the sopranos with nk
go to bed
sleep heavy
and now
its sunday
calloo callay!

29 Responses to “antarctica starts here”

  1. avatar
    davem | 8 March 2008 at 9:21 pm #

    Fingers crossed for that 6 O’clock call.
    Still Saturday here but have a good day of rest down there!
    Not sure I’m that keen on the beard thickening thingy…..glad I’m not nk!!!

  2. avatar
    davem | 8 March 2008 at 9:23 pm #

    You do that ol’ cockney accent so well geezer!
    You can take the boy out of Welwyn Garden City but you can’t take Welwyn….etc etc

  3. avatar
    linjo | 8 March 2008 at 10:19 pm #

    I think it is a primeval thing for men to want a younger woman, virility, potency etc. My six year old daughte’s father is the most handsome little B and at the time I was totally besotted, well my ego was. He brought me to my knees with his mind games and my jealousy. Yes Brien, I have known deep depression and antidepressants. Now I look at the younger man/older woman thing and believe that there is a deficit in a man who chooses an older woman. Its just not natural. Poor Demi Moore is going to come a gutsa one of these days with her Ashton, 15 years younger, especially when he wants to procreate.
    Absolutely beautiful day up here on the mid north coast, water temperature is perfect. Have a great day Steve, NK, doodles and that little wooffle! Love the pet names, taking my own chee chee chiana for surf.
    Linda X

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 March 2008 at 10:30 pm #

    great again – you go up and down so much – a week ago it was misery and now the last two have been so sort of composed, a slice of a pleasant life. has the mystic vomiting juice you took done this? – i love this blog

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 March 2008 at 10:37 pm #

    vomiting juice…now theres a catchy slogan for a refreshing beverage…maybe u should do adds for that one sk….

  6. avatar
    tim | 8 March 2008 at 10:40 pm #

    seek first to understand and then to be understood

    go get em dad!

  7. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 9 March 2008 at 12:16 am #

    Normally I never comment on comments, but I find it sad and disturbing that anyone would find love between an older woman and a younger man unnatural. Granted, I’ve only dated one “younger” man and he was 4 1/2 years younger than I was…but I found the relationship and the love anything but unnatural. I don’t know. Sorry to ramble. This just rubbed me the wrong way. Love is love – between consenting, healthy adults – IMHO. Sorry Steven. Carry on with your lovely family. Good luck with the call-backs.

    p.s. is it elli? that’s being “materialistic” in your eyes? She sort of sounds like a typical teenager – but also, somehow this world and many of its inhabitants have gone batshit crazy over material goods. Conspicuous consumption is the name of the game. Sounds like she’s got a lot of good influences around her to balance this out though.

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 March 2008 at 1:07 am #

    Any reviews from SOH poetry gig?

    I woulda gone, but didn’t find out in time…


  9. avatar
    veleska1970 | 9 March 2008 at 1:28 am #

    good luck with the call backs. and if it does happen, maybe it’ll be available for the rest of us in other corners of the globe to see??

    i second denise’s sentiments….i dated a younger guy once. it obviously didn’t continue, but it was lovely while it was happening.

    enjoy your sunday with your beautiful family.

    lotza love….

  10. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 9 March 2008 at 2:00 am #

    I admire anybody who can keep a marriage together. For better or worse is lamentably an anomoly these days. Men and women are primarily interested in the opposite sex for material reasons (looks, money, status.) Lennon, MACCA and George had great, long marriages with actual soulmates. The Beatles were/are an international treasure for many good reasons.

    After 15 plays “The Refo:Mation” has gradually resonated with proverbial grandeur into my “musically challenged” mind.

  11. avatar
    linjo | 9 March 2008 at 2:46 am #

    Ladies, I wasnt saying that this is how it should be, but just how it usually is. Men I believe are more ego driven than women and it is a status symbol to have a younger woman. (not discounting the obvious mutual love between Steve and his wife). Denise I wouldnt really count 4 1/2 years as a considerable difference (although I note you consciously remembered that .5 of a year) and Veleska, why did it “obviously” not work out? I could go up the club and pick up a teenage toy any night (probably a drunk one!) but wouldnt go there. Brien, Macca is now dating the gorgeous Rosana Arquette (15 years junior?) and HM was how many years younger?
    Can you imagine if Steve was 53 and NK 74? shock horror, as if!
    One of the most beautiful loves on film was that between the Highlander and his lassy even until she was an old woman. But thats fantasy. Sorry Steve, your blog I know, i’m raving. Linda X

  12. avatar
    Richard | 9 March 2008 at 2:48 am #

    okay, now this has nothing to do with today’s post, but I had the oddest experience in bed last night

    some time in the wee small hours I get woken up by the most excruciating pain in the palms of each of my hands. It was proabably just cramp but it felt like someone was trying to bore holes through me.

    I was only half awake, but I was crying out so much that my wife stayed awake for ages afterwards worrying

    maybe not quite “Radiance II” but really weird

  13. avatar
    steve kilbey | 9 March 2008 at 3:22 am #

    imitation of christ!

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 March 2008 at 3:30 am #

    NK is 32?! Is that true? Holy sh*#! I don’t even know what to say…way to go man.

    (Warmest wishes and regards of course.)

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 March 2008 at 4:14 am #

    Young lady, old geezer, limited lifespan of relationship.
    Once young lady matures (about 10 years into it) she starts to despise old man arse and boobs.
    She leaves or he dies.
    Either way she gets another go.

    from an old dude

  16. avatar
    Richard | 9 March 2008 at 5:30 am #

    I’d need to thicken my beard!

  17. avatar
    melissa | 9 March 2008 at 8:35 am #

    Oh SK, today’s blog made me laugh.. thanks for an uplifting read today! I hope the audition went really well too 🙂

    I think anyone lucky enough to be loved and be in love is very blessed, no matter what the age difference.

    All the best

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 March 2008 at 10:03 am #

    Do you really start the day with 2 spliffs and 2 Vs or is that just antarctic licence (whoops I mean artistic)?

  19. avatar
    Paul Lightfoot | 9 March 2008 at 11:44 am #

    You’re lucky. I only have Zoe Killer (one 16 year old daughter Fieends)and whilst extremely bright, and soulful, is totally materialistic. She won’t wear anything that isn’t Karen Walker 🙂 I’m off to Las Vegas tomorrow night for a week on buz. (Yuk 12 hours to LAX on a Qantas 747)Any advice from my my fellow American Fieends(Eek)apart from “Don’t gamble!”

    Paul L
    Auckland, New Zealand

  20. avatar
    Matt Davyddson | 9 March 2008 at 12:02 pm #

    You better hope the gay NZ director isn’t auditioning in Melbourne. And that he doesn’t want a dog in the mix as well. :))

  21. avatar
    isolde | 9 March 2008 at 12:23 pm #

    well, if you get it that will be good but if you don’t get it that will mean you are too much of a celeb and would upstage the product
    which is also a good sign
    so either way you win
    a thicker beard with that just out of bed/ice chasm look could be a good thing too

    for a great antarctica book, read Shiver by Nikki Gemmell, I found this to be one of the most affecting and haunting books ever, in many surprising ways, truly excellent

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 March 2008 at 1:04 pm #

    “materialism”=keeping up appearances.luckily your daughters have you to teach n inspire them in this way.good on the little ones for doing what is their hearts desires.a shame we dont always be this true.hope you are all healthy and happy.marriage is an institution{or it can put ye into an institution!}you are lucky to have such a wonderful wife sk.take good care of her.

  23. avatar
    eek | 9 March 2008 at 1:15 pm #

    look i say
    nobody knows me now i hardly ever play
    werent you on at the opera house last night ? she says

    lol! The day after performing at the opera house and appearing in an article in the paper is probably not the best time to use that line….

    everytime the cameras on her shes struggling straining rebelling
    as soon as its off shes placid happy co operative

    I think Scarlet doesn’t suffer fools (or who she thinks of as fools at the time) gladly. Hmm…I wonder who she got that from?

    her materialistic approach disappoints me a little

    Teenagers are so heavily targeted by advertisers now I think it’s very hard for them not to be materialistic. The push for them to want more and more stuff is tremendous and is very hard to resist, especially for those without a whole lot of life experience. I think what you seem to be doing — making sure to keep contact and making sure they know you love them no matter what — is the most important thing you can do for them.

    I have to second Melissa’s comment: I think anyone lucky enough to be loved and be in love is very blessed, no matter what the age difference. That pretty much sums it up.

  24. avatar
    eek | 9 March 2008 at 1:33 pm #

    Um, when I typed “especially for those without a whole lot of life experience” I meant teenagers in general have less life experience than adults and can be more susceptible to the heavy duty advertising they have thrown at them.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 March 2008 at 4:22 pm #

    oh…linjo said blah blah blah…well linjo you can fuck off…my wife is ten years older than me – we married for love and have been together nearly 15 years raising two sons…we are both happy and enjoy our lives…unlike you, it would appear, I have not known deep depression and antidepressants so maybe you know a bit more than me about being deficient. my wife is also black and i’m white – thats another thing some people still think is ‘not natural’ as you so charmingly put it.

  26. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 9 March 2008 at 7:09 pm #


    Obviously I was referring to Paul and Linda McCartney. Only apart a few days during their long marriage. She even performed on stage with him for 23 years(For Better or Worse). They smoked pot like crazy and did great deeds for people, animals and the planet. They were thin, mentally healthy and not big drinkers. Their children are talented humanitarians,especially, Stella.

  27. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 9 March 2008 at 7:12 pm #

    Imitation of Christ. A great song by the Psychedelic Furs (1980).

  28. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 9 March 2008 at 10:48 pm #

    good luck
    grow the beard
    intrepid ex-flora

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 March 2008 at 1:25 am #

    Damn my life is boring…it must still be Winter here…

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