posted on March 23, 2007 at 7:34 pm

the multiverse
everything moving at once
all history a simultaneous fiction
all going on together
this is the beings gift and his punishment
i cant stop it
i cant stop it happening
i cant stop it happening to me
as the waves unfold themselves across this lake
i see the patterns
i see the connection
i cant tell you what it is
there are no words for it
sometimes you see trees moving in the wind
the leaves are pixels away from a totally pointilistic scramble
look at the rooftops
i can see the prana coiling there
rising like a heat haze
i feel the words all lined up in my mind
huge chunks of prose appear in my mind fully formed
my muse keeps sending me stuff
i do more and more yoga
my muse becomes clearer and clearer
she says do something perfect
she says bye bye baby come back soon
anytime anyhow anywhere
and i type type type
choosing the symbols n spaces
trying to turn you on so hard
writing about writing
this flood of disinformation
nothing is real n nothing matters
but then howcome it hurts?
everything so so simple
its so easy
ah six deep easy breaths
somedays i feel so lucky
living this life like this
i see my daughters
the line of their necks n jaws
their straight backs
their melodious voices
this is real success
the warm weather holds me
a delicious breeze wafts thru the house
from sunroom to kitchen cool fingers of air
theres a tibetan guy next door and each morning n evening
he burns such lovely incense in his garden
his lovely garden with its white flowers and elephant gods n buddhas
birdies go tweet tweet tweet
i swim n i do some work
but this work aint work
and i feel lucky
and i appreciate my freedom
and i do wish it could be like this for you too
because sitting in an office
under those ‘orrible lights
staring at a computer for hours n hours
is not what this earth n life are for
someone telling ya what to do
bring me this file
reconcile these books
deliver these sprockets
stack those cans
fetch those tiles
finish your report
report to the main entrance
dig that hole
cook that soup
drive that cab (hi glenny n georgie)
bang in that nail
polish those nails
check out that client
stay back late
come in early
better do some work on saturday too
like my dadd-o
always worked till 3 on saturday
but something must be wrong with me
i say to myself very early on
steven….this..uh..work thing…its not good for us
i say to myself
yes i concur ;must avoid this thing called work
and then i was always disappointed
when my mum n dad
and my numerous uncles n aunties
couldnt understand that my incipient geniushood
meant to me at least
i should be spared from working
but all these post war pommies
they were all obsessed by work
talk about protestant work ethic
the best thing you could say about some geezer
was that he was a hard worker
you never heard em say that someone was a great poet
or that he had prose dripping from his fingers day n night
you never heard em say
well that little steven hes lazy but hes loaded with charisma
or
i bet he’ll grow up n chart the empty places with music
the fifties were slim pickings for us proto hippies
my auntie lou didnt fucking care about rimbaud or dylan thomas
she wanted you to wash behind yer ears
take yer shoes off
and
BEHAVE!
which actually meant
being some kinda thing i was never meant to be
and all my nascent utterings were deemed cheeky
people seemed angry with me right from the word go
and i can understand it
i wanted to get away from myself the moment i could think
(hence the gear)
i was just too much
i was all over the shop
a smartarse little freckle faced spoilt brat
believe it or not…
(t.t.b. subscribers : oh we can believe it !)
but then my auntie may treated me differently
i know i told ya about her
she treated me the way i thought i deserved to be treated
i mean she didnt let me get away with any old malarkey
she wasnt a pushover by any means
but she talked to me
and she listened to me
and she listened to my questions
and she tried to explain
oh i thought she was so glamourous
with her jet black hair n bright red lipstick
to me she was so hollywood
and she told me she was 21
but she was probably nearer to my age now
her husband norm was a carpenter
and they lived in a commission house
but to me aunty may was the bees knees
a dreamy lady
a lady who loved films n musicals
and she took me seriously
she could see me as i am now i swear
oh how the man ached
trapped inside the boy
aunty may was always swallowing these powders
for her “headaches”
and then having a “lie down”
this was usually every day
i have sinced learned that these powders
vincents a.p.c i think they may have been called
contained heavy barbituates and/or opioids
and were totally n viciously addictive
although the ladies who took em didnt probably understand
what was happoening to em…
i mean
it was cheap n legal
you could buy these things at the local shop
and she ripped open a packet
there was like 10 in a box
and there was this white powder
and shed lift it up
n swallow it down
followed by a glass of water
and id say doesnt it taste ‘orrible
and shed say yeah
but also a slight kinda satisfied smile too
and there you go
is that why aunty may was so dreamy
and she had her laydowns in her cool green darkened bedroom
and she had a dolly on her bed too
aunty may had 2 grown up sons of her own
but she made me feel like her no. 3
and i slept next to her every afternoon
and then we’d get up
while she made dinner
and we waited for les n joyce to come n pick me up afterwork
my favourite was tomato soup with buttered bread
as a child i was always looking for those adults who could understand
but in those days it wasnt like now
they werent encouraging individuality back then
believe me
anyway

i got my shipment of fruit machine
essays on rock
my new book
its only short
28 pages or so
im gonna be selling it on cherch murch
and at a show near you soon
graham nunn
the head of the sk poetry steering committee
was the prime mover behind this one
and we do must humbly thank him
for having caused it to happen
its basically a 28 page stream o sub-consciousness
my ramblings on rocknroll
in which i seem to target such unlikely villains
as elo
and guys with keith richards hair-dos
anyway
its written a la this very blogge
which has now given me a dependable n recognizable device
to hide behind
so from no on
i can bang stuff out
with no punctuation
no paragraphs
etc
and go
well thats what i do!
still i reckon you’ll enjoy fruit machine
itll probably be a text book in years to come
how many rockers do ya know
who can write about rock as well
there aint that many
ian hunters book…
oooh you should find that
thats a great book
diary of a rocknroll star…wow!
you read that and youve almost done it yerself
even before i almost did do it myself
i felt that by reading ians book
i understood what it was like
touring the states
not all beer n skittles
refreshingly candid
go on
get one on amazon
david bowies in it n everything
so i gotta go now
gotta enjoy my saturday
if i can….

39 Responses to “baubles, bangles and bright shiny beads”

  1. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 23 March 2007 at 9:47 pm #

    peace…
    Jon Jon

  2. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 March 2007 at 9:50 pm #

    “because sitting in an office
    under those ‘orrible lights
    staring at a computer for hours n hours
    is not what this earth n life are for”
    i am in complete, total, utter agreement, my friend. we are supposed to be exercising our creativity~~certainly not withering away like this.

    you were lucky and blessed to have someone who encouraged you. you’ve mentioned your aunt before, and i’ve said this same thing before. there’s too many people out there who haven’t realized their gifts because they have been either beaten down, ridiculed, or just plain ignored. i believe that one of the best things anyone can do for a child is help him/her nurture the gifts that have been bestowed upon him/her, and allow them to dream.

    the book sounds like an interesting read. i’ll have to get myself a copy.

    hope you have a good saturday. my friday’s up in about 10 minutes at 5:pm. at that time i’ll bolt outta here like a bat out of hell, and distance myself as far away from these “‘orrible lights” as i can.

    lotza love……..

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 March 2007 at 10:07 pm #

    Third’s the charm, and so is fourth, and fifth…and on…

    “nothing is real n nothing matters
    but then howcome it hurts?”

    nada es real y no importa nada
    pero entonces, porque duele?

    Cecilia

    Have a gr8 weekend every1

  4. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 23 March 2007 at 10:17 pm #

    I tried the avoidance of a ‘straight’ job for years. I played my music, worked on bands, wanted to start a recording studio & rehearsal room center instead of taking a standard job.

    Unfortunately, avoiding the straight job and being able to provide for your family on something related to your art seems to be like winning the lottery. Everyone can try for it, not everyone has everything line up in such a way that it can happen.

    And then you’re stuck either not being a decent human because you’re not providing for your family – or you get the straight job. It sucks.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 March 2007 at 10:47 pm #

    I haven’t worked in the office scene for over three years now, and I’m loving life so much more, I never want to go back to that rut!! I’m so glad you found the freedom to do what you do and didn’t go the same route as our parents generation. The way you create music, poetry, artwork and write to us everyday sk, it makes such a difference to my life. I don’t care if I sound like a sycophant, it’s just the way it is ok!!

    I can’t wait to read your ramblings on rock’n’roll, but I guess Melby won’t be seeing it for a while since you’re heading overseas soon 🙁
    Have a beautiful weekend and have fun voting for those “geeks” today!
    Love always,
    Amanda

  6. avatar
    damien | 23 March 2007 at 10:50 pm #

    Looking forward to getting my hands on a copy of the book!

  7. avatar
    CSTCoach | 23 March 2007 at 10:52 pm #

    i can totally relate to your feelings on the world of work. i did crap temp jobs for several years in order to keep travelling, to fund the following of my dreams. haven’t done clockpunch work in 2 years now, between writing and coaching. i’m lucky enough to have a girlfriend who supported my vision even if she didn’t entirely believe in it till now…

    though they may encourage individuality a little more now than then, it still isn’t acceptable to totally blow off the world of work beause you feel the stirrings of that latent genius and they don’t. still a lot of nonsense to push up against.

    But i believe that everyone who breaks free sets an example for others to follow. They see that you really can blow a hole in those prison walls. Your music did some of that for me, and i try to pay it fwd in my writing and coaching. its all we can do, i think.

    very cool about the rock booklet. Will place an order soon as it’s available. 🙂 Always glad to see you in poetry or prose.

    ryan

  8. avatar
    davem | 23 March 2007 at 11:13 pm #

    I was going to say that I could read your ramblings for hours, but I do.
    Fantastic stuff.
    I’ll pick the book up at the Brighton or London gigs. I buy from Church Merch from time to time but the postage rates are the size of an elephant.
    Talking of TTB subscribers (was that a hint SK?)it must be time for my 6-months. How time flies and all that….
    It was interesting to read that you try hard to turn us on. You do Steve. It’s just such uplifting and challenging and funny and sad and inspiring stuff.
    Thank-you!

  9. avatar
    zebob | 24 March 2007 at 12:04 am #

    I particularly enjoyed this one.
    Taking a break from working on a Web site (my second) for God knows how many hours, avoiding the wife and kids, trying not to lose my temper with them, locked in the office, cursing every few minutes, trying to meet unrealistic deadlines, boss squawking “Is it done yet?” every 15 minutes.
    So I give myself a break to check out the blog, see if there’s anything fresh.
    Hah!
    Another cosmic connection.
    -z

  10. avatar
    Melquiades | 24 March 2007 at 12:07 am #

    Hey, did you hear the joke about the Tibetan guy, a melodious space rocker surrealist, and some barbecue eating conformists walk into a bar?…..

    Yeah, love the post Steve. Interesting recall on your auntie May. Romantic, nostalgic, & evocative all at once.

    Thank you for sharing. keep coming back.

    mmmm…….

  11. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 24 March 2007 at 12:10 am #

    “but this work aint work”

    ok everyone
    we all to blogge
    at least 500 creative, artistic
    posts
    and we gotta do it nearly
    every day
    for at least a year
    and then we gotta do yoga
    then we gotta do
    Qigong
    every single day
    and we gotta swim
    and eat veggies
    and drink goji juice
    religiously
    and we gotta paint
    the good portraits
    over and over
    until they paint themselves
    and we gotta act in plays
    and we gotta write books
    and we gotta appreciate
    and live
    the spiritual life
    and we gotta raise 3 kids
    and look out for 2 others
    and husband one wife
    and we gotta play bass and guitar
    and we gotta write songs
    and we gotta be the lead singer
    of the integruous church
    and we get paid
    the pittance
    we dont deserve
    cause no one understands
    our true value
    and that’s cause
    most of the world is
    too busy
    to recognise
    that it’s missed its true calling
    its lifework

  12. avatar
    kat | 24 March 2007 at 12:16 am #

    nonconformist make it by the skin of your teeth me has stayed out from under the office lights lately, but i am afraid that will come to an end unfortunately. $ the necessary evil.. those last four lines you posted are so true, being here.

    happy frieday/saturday and weekend
    to all ;]=~~

  13. avatar
    Symon | 24 March 2007 at 12:35 am #

    I felt it took guts for me to leave the “office” and set up a small enterprise where I set the agendas, worked the hours i wanted and didn’t have to answer to anyone.

    Yes I have clients…but when they piss me off I remind them that they need me more than I need them.

    It would take real vision and guts to leave the rat race altogether. I’m not there…maybe never will be, but I admire your courage Steve and I often longingly look into that vision of not be $$$ dependent or part of the “system”.

    Thanks for your words and your flashbacks to a “simplier” time when we were all younger, more wide eyed and undiminished as humans beings.

    Enjoy your Saturday.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 12:35 am #

    Cast my vote this morn, but alas no SK on forms. Had to lagh at the adds on tele re the campaign, “written by sk….” Did u make a small fortune?

    btw loved the pics. Get those famous calves on show.

    Enjoyed the “Easy” dvd, u did a lot of travel on the Wide Open Road, won’t be long before u do it again. I have never seen u look so happy, great to c u smile. Liked u with the 3 amigos. Filming that wasn’t too hard was it? Waiting for the next instalment, bring it on! (maybe one from a London concerto?) please, please, me oh yeah…..

    Peace & happy Sat,
    t

  15. avatar
    knot | 24 March 2007 at 12:39 am #

    today i get to be lucky thirteen?

    lovely & candid yerself.
    i never curse the sun, she brings us life

  16. avatar
    fantasticandy | 24 March 2007 at 1:57 am #

    if i didn’t have my band,
    and a lovely understanding wife, who puts up with all of them trooping in and out of the house at all times of the day and night,
    my life would be such a mess.
    my job is so crushingly dull and menial, i just don’t know how i get through the day.
    the music was all locked away inside me for so many,many years.
    i desperately wanted people to hear it, but it only existed in my head.
    forming dudes of neptune has totally changed my life.
    i can never go back.
    sk’s right he is a lucky git, but the amazing thing is that a little bit of that luck seems to rub off on people.
    even someone like me!
    AND erik(daberhasher)…. he won the film fest,how cool is that!!!!!
    everyone have a great weekend, and try to find just a little bit of time to be who you really are.
    good things to you all,
    andy L.

  17. avatar
    mike a | 24 March 2007 at 2:01 am #

    Hey, I have an aunt May too!! She also looked very glamorous and Hollywoodish.

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 2:41 am #

    I’m at the office now….sometimes it’s good…but other times…. Two of my bosses are dead set sociopaths – manipulative, narcissistic, pathologically egocentric and ungrateful. My immediate boss is nice but wishy washy which does not help.
    Why am I here? I got the mortgage and kids are not cheap… I actually have two jobs such is the great black hole of my mortgage. So does my partner. I’m also about to start contracting on the weekends….no rest for the wicked, eh?
    The only good bit is that while I’m sitting here doing this (skiving off) I’m being paid!
    Gotta go soon and perform my civic duty and vote…..

    B.Bon

  19. avatar
    Leelinau | 24 March 2007 at 3:10 am #

    Hope everyone has
    a lovely weekend!

    (¯`v´¯)
    `*.¸.*´
    ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•

    ^_^

  20. avatar
    nv | 24 March 2007 at 4:27 am #

    magikal mathematics
    rhythm mastery

    golden muse
    how she comes
    thru your prose

    delicious pain of birthing such beauty
    cocoon then emerge
    emerge then cocoon
    and the inbetween?
    a meeting place where the terrain constantly shifts
    no maps no signposts
    until
    the transformation is complete

    children want the box of crayons with the most colours
    most adults hand em ten shades of beige
    n tell them to stay in the lines
    blessed be the eccentric aunties of the world!

    ~

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 4:39 am #

    Re.” How many rockers do ya know
    who can actually write about rock as well”

    Not dissing ya Steve but there have actually been a lot. You could almost say that rock memoirs/autobiograpys are a clich’e.
    Sure many have ghostwriters/cowriters but these are often the most authentic voices.

    Some rockers/popstars who’ve put out books include.

    Glen Matlock
    Billy Thorpe
    Bill Wyman
    Steve Strange
    Boy George
    Tommy Lee
    Dave Navaro
    Nick Mason
    James Freud
    Crissy Amphett
    Bob Dylan
    George Harrison
    Lemmy (From Motorhead !?)
    Courtey Love
    Gene Simmons

    Probably countless more.

    I look forward to reading yours though. Even if it’s only 28 pages.

  22. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 24 March 2007 at 5:17 am #

    3 bikkie jars fulla gorgeous words

    ta

  23. avatar
    nv | 24 March 2007 at 5:46 am #

    master of rhythm
    and negative spaces
    don’t ever stop!

    ~

  24. avatar
    Sunshine | 24 March 2007 at 8:19 am #

    SK,
    You do inspire us. I’ve been really annoying the hell out of my husband these past couple of months dropping your name here and there. Heh! It goes something like this:

    G: “What would you like for dinner tonight?”
    Me: “Hmm, I wonder what Steve Kilbey’s having tonight?”
    G: “Who?”
    Me: “You know, the lead singer of The Church.”
    G: *audible groan* “Oh… him again?!”

    Anyway, would you consider a pre-order of Mimesis and a purchase from Karmic Hit a sort of subscription? 😀 Your bro.’s really prompt w/ the shipping, actually.

    Everyone should be lucky enough to meet someone in their lifetime who takes time to understand them and inspires them to be who they want to be. I’ve met quite a few.

    I have done my fair share of soul-sucking office jobs, because I have invested so much time into my skills (typing, software usage, cross-platform proficiency, machine troubleshooting, etc.), it’s easy to fall back on. But they just suck out any ounce of creative juice you may have in you, don’t they? I can only handle them in small doses. They’re not designed with free-spirits in mind.

    ~Sunshine

  25. avatar
    Celticat | 24 March 2007 at 9:00 am #

    Hiya,

    enjoy your weekend.

    Love

  26. avatar
    malcolm arkey | 24 March 2007 at 11:14 am #

    “Aunty May’s powders…”
    – sounds like a line straight out of G.W.McL’s mouth.

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 11:37 am #

    ELO a target? Don’t bring me down Steve.

  28. avatar
    Daberhasher | 24 March 2007 at 12:10 pm #

    that was really great, sweet and true… nostalgia for 80’s hairbands is crap, but that particular form of nostalgia is pure gold… or silver, ’cause i don’t really care for gold… good thing Auntie May was there for ya man… thanks to my bro, i could say the word barbituate when i was 3… ah, family fun…

    jobs… hmmmm, you gotta do what you gotta do… i feel pretty lucky to have landed in my bike warehouse gig… shipping sprockets as it were… and wheels, handlebars,
    frames, seats and all the other lovely bits that make up the beautiful bicycle… i love bikes, and i believe in their positive power… plus, bikefolk tend to be somewhat askew to the mainstream, so i feel right at home in my warehouse of square pegs…

    looking forward to sk’s essays on the ROCK… and what the hoopla, i’ll take the advice and check out Ian’s book too…

    aloha,
    wheelee

    thanks for the props andy!!!
    rock on and rock out!!!

  29. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 24 March 2007 at 12:22 pm #

    hey sk
    thanks for everything, as always
    the ball’s really rollin’
    over $100 in donations so far!
    http://www.songsforjenny.com

    my uncle mac was the one who i gravitated to
    he was a painter
    worked in an art store
    painting posters for clients
    back in the day when
    you didn’t design your advertising
    on a computer and then
    instantly ink-jetted it to the masses
    he’d paint glorious signs for
    storefront windows
    banners to be hung across city streets
    posters for local charity events
    and privately he’d knock out
    these unique paintings
    on all subject matter in all styles
    i could tell he was a lonely soul
    trying to make sense of the world
    wow, lots of empathy for Uncle Mac!
    some of my most-prized possessions
    are the few of his paintings I own

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 12:37 pm #

    Steven, Steven, Steven, you write so beautifully and poignantly about the world, life, nature, mysticism, doubt, egoism, all isms, fatherhood, motherhood, death, melancholy, philosophy and even politics…why you go write about goddam rock and roll?

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 5:05 pm #

    ah, you beautiful beautiful man.

    we love you so.

    richard mchealthy and good wife.

  32. avatar
    eek | 24 March 2007 at 9:18 pm #

    I agree with you on the work thing. In less than two months it will be 11 years since I held a “real” job. I’d rather scrape and scramble for a living on my own terms than live “well” on someone else’s.

    Your Auntie May treated you like a person, not like a kid, because she saw you were more than just a kid. I suspect that she enjoyed you as much as you enjoyed her. Everyone needs someone who sees them as clearly as your Auntie May saw you. From what you have written on your blog about them, you have an Auntie May (as well as a Papa Steve) understanding of your daughters. Lucky girls.

    Looking very forward to Fruit Machine. 🙂

  33. avatar
    IDES OF FUCKING MARCH.... | 24 March 2007 at 10:41 pm #

    i do hope you pay all your taxes….

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 March 2007 at 11:15 pm #

    i worked on building sites for most of my life.
    i now work in an office.
    i sit on my arse in a comfy chair, out of the heat or cold or rain and get paid more for doing so.
    people say they ‘work hard’ in the office. They don’t.
    i tell em they should try mixing concrete in august or digging a trench in february.
    they say “oh but you get a different kind of tiredness with office work”.
    You don’t.
    5 minutes of manual labour is harder than 5 months of office work.
    I’m not knocking the ofice, Steve and nor should you – it’s piss easy money for next to no effort.

  35. avatar
    dr freud | 25 March 2007 at 5:14 am #

    9.15am anon – you are wrong about that. I have done both too. I’m thinking in your office job you don’t have to engage your brain much or you wouldn’t be making such a broad generalisation.

    Mental fatigue IS different to physical.

  36. avatar
    nickfiction | 25 March 2007 at 2:04 pm #

    I was totally swept away by this one……

  37. avatar
    nickfiction | 25 March 2007 at 2:09 pm #

    totally….

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 March 2007 at 3:56 pm #

    yeah, i dunno, i have no supporting wife or girl, no good job, garnished wages, ongoing bewilderment and frustration, poor health, unused life potential and genius, and generaly nothing but bad human experiences….earth is not a place i have had the luxury to do what i want, or enjoy my life and love…so sometimes i get sick of hearing about what ya got…save it…how about something transcendent or supportive of those suffering badly? just a thought…Steve, thanks for the Hope…against the impossible…hope some of ya understand. Dee ad astra.

  39. avatar
    John Garratt | 25 March 2007 at 4:52 pm #

    “staring at a computer for hours n hours
    is not what this earth n life are for
    someone telling ya what to do
    bring me this file”

    Shoot me. Now.

    John


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