posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:12 pm

i was born a snake hipped love god on the 44th of june
i had 2 mothers
one was the glorious universe
the other was gina medici a cockney courtesan
my first act was to liberate the slaves and make things right
my second act was to pick up a fender stratocaster
and plug it into a 13 thousand watt marshall stack
where i blasted out a riff that was a cross between rebel rebel
and layla and jumpin jack honky tonk daytripper alright now
eschewing breastmilk
i drank asses milk
it was hard to find in well -in garden city, my man
i jumped in a fucking ford transit van n i hit wembley hard
an overnightmare sensation
i was lean i was cool i was slim baby
slim slim slim!
yeah girls…tell someone who cares
some cats were smoking ice…..man i put it in my drink
i hit the stage like a falling piano….BANG
david duchow had rorschached my whole life
and it was modulating on a thousand screens
i interwove with venus fly traps in filmtime
all my hardnesses on a floppy disk
dont sass me son im the bona fide son of jesus jehovahsson
i got moontalk and the doublesnake skulls
the devil is my uncle he taught me how to flame
he lived in berne
he loved and he learned baby
this here is my true fuckin’ story
and so say all of us
if any man can deny it
you’ll find me outside your undertakers with a colt 45
you’ll find me inside the overtakers with a beatles 45
you’ll see me like white lightning as i steal your thunder, mr no wonder
lets face it yer wives dig me much more than you
they erected my shrine in your sheds
the ladies scream slim slim slim!
please ladies im trying to write something here
i was born on a black friday with a mellotron on my knee
i was quoting jean paul sartre and friends with law trek
i dabbled in immortality but found it lifeless
i dated lindy lou rimbaud
the topless star of disneys snow black
i smoked oofle dust with tom apollo-nair
i hung out with the bleedin’ cognoscenti
i did experiments on a studer eight track
that revolutionised the revolution
i recorded brian harrison just before he dived in the pool
i kissed sharon stones statuette in the hall of eternal tears
i was there when groucho invented the neutron shake
i invited lennon n presley n dillon to dinner
and then i found i had something better to do
i shunted a double fronted gibson terroriser
plugged into a triple fourway backwards mounted f hole
i had chrome nuts and a springcoiled whammy bar
i had a love me cushion and stack heeled monti boots
i wore fuckin’ james bond soldier holsters with velvet paisley trim
i drove a suped up hawk-eagle with talonated carbies
it could do 100 over 13 and it ran on vortex zinc boosted spirits
i drove it to rome and budapest and siberia and the east pole
i picked up sophia loren who hitched a ride to banbury cross
we crashed at ezra pounds and she got her tits out
i exploded in the charts with my number one
but robbie williams only managed a number two…..oooohhh
aqua were bubbling under but the pistols had the bullet
nick kent gave me a 5 star review in la gala phonetica
the hippest magazine in croydon
sour-creem magazine voted me uno in all categories
i received a doctorate in esoterica from yale
i was made an honourary fellow at camden town
i met the queen on kings road n smoked a prince
i went to knightsbridge, illinois and i saw the big cilantro
i did a show in mexico
the senoritas called go slim go
i did a show in a show on the ivory coast
the watusi daughters yelled
slim youre the most
some prick in washington, b.c. hired me to spy on the moon
i appeared in that tv show when they first landed on mars
i wrote some of the backing music with pablo picasso on crete
i gotta job up in new hampshire photographing the smell of pines
i earned a million a day plus overtime
i flew down to jamaica for a holiday with bowie and bianca neuman
i rented the villa du luxurie and i drank noet et brandon
i released a record in the stratosphere
slim:hymn
in melody shmaker steve sutherland wrote:
“although i am a dwarfy little gimp with not a scrap of talents
secretly in love with the roadie from the sticky carpets
and frantically jealous of blokes like slim
i must admit reluctantly
that the first note of slim:hymn (and what a title!)
blows all other rock n stone out of the quarry
slims got it all
the canberran legacy of hypersurrealism
the ergonomic chutzpah to boogaloo the shibboleth
i say slim:hymn is the best thing ever ever ever!!!!”
well
that capped off an amazing month for me i must say
the pull its a prize
the noble price
the booka danno prize
q magazine and p magazine too
slim slim slim
ah
what a life it was

23 Responses to “bio autography”

  1. avatar
    steve kilbey | 24 June 2008 at 10:48 pm #

    a fucking men

  2. avatar
    the dean | 24 June 2008 at 11:05 pm #

    now that’s my type of reality

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 June 2008 at 11:07 pm #

    You can never recollect it all, can you? You forgot to mention when you drank Burgundy under your second mother’s bed for the first time. You were only seven. Then you tasted fondue (cheese, most obviously) for the first time with your sister who was visiting (long way from Africa). I remember she showed me your first notebook where you made your first notes. There it was: “anger anger anger anger angel angel angel angel angelica you won’t have me if you don’t wake the devil”. Oh my God, you were very young to have those thoughts. But I was precocious too so I didn’t mind. You know I always competed with you. The good aspect is that you made me a lot better. I don’t know why I’m always hooked on the first times, must have something to do with my corrosive difficulty to end anything (which tells my fear of corrosion more than any other trigger). When I used to be the editor of a very famous varieties magazine at the Republic Of My Bedroom, age 9, a continental-dimensioned yellow and white country, I only managed to do the cover and the index. I grew tired of things, even my own ideas. I don’t seem to grow tired of only one thing in my life though. Maybe it’s because there was no first time (yet). Nevermind, you always remember what you did for the 1001th time, persistent Virgoan that you are. Argh. Never miss a detail. But sometimes you go blank about the first times. I’m here to remind them. Don’t get angry with me.

  4. avatar
    PAGEY | 25 June 2008 at 12:11 am #

    this is how i imagined it all from a distant sea, down a long stretched hallway, through a generation or two gap….

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 June 2008 at 1:09 am #

    Slim Shady…

    You also forgot about the time you and Howard Hughes tried to fly the Spruce Truce around the Cape Of Good Horn.
    But the highest you got was with a bottle of Dom Perignon ’52 overlooking a marvelous sunset over the Pacific Ocean, while suggesting to Blue Oyster Cult that no one really writes songs about reapers anymore.
    Today finds you in a witty mood.
    Very entertaining and enjoyable.

    Mark
    Tampa, Fl

  6. avatar
    Melquiades | 25 June 2008 at 2:41 am #

    to be contact via the cybersphere via the connector @ kallah@snowmail.coma

    “i gotta job up in new hampshire photographing the smell of pines”

    Ah, the smell of crushed pine needles invigorate. the smell of raw earth under your nails. the smell of electricity after a Summer storm.The senses give, and we the observant take – it in. All…..

    love,brian

  7. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 25 June 2008 at 2:43 am #

    I LOVED THIS BLOG. I LOVE IT WNEN SK IS INFUSED WITH MANIC NIRVANA. EVERY LINE WAS UNPREDICTABLE AND AMAZING! A GREAT ANTI-DEPRESSANT!

  8. avatar
    captain mission | 25 June 2008 at 2:56 am #

    make mine a neutron shake

    …and there was that time you suggested to one he reverse his eman

  9. avatar
    kat | 25 June 2008 at 3:30 am #

    what a life it IS, overnightmare sensation aha ;]=~~

  10. avatar
    Lebrinho | 25 June 2008 at 8:09 am #

    Valid memories.

    “If a bodhisattva holds the notion of a self, the notion of person, the notion of sentient being, and the notion of life span, then he is not a bodhisattva”.

    Jesus Jehovahsson..??? Verkligen härligt..! : D

  11. avatar
    rick maymi | 25 June 2008 at 9:18 am #

    Weren’t you the guy with a market stall and a civil service job?

  12. avatar
    princey | 25 June 2008 at 11:15 am #

    Yep, this definitely deserves the pull it sir prize! slim:hymn is a good one tho

  13. avatar
    Lian | 25 June 2008 at 11:25 am #

    Steve,
    Everyone knows that you love your family and your work most. And I understand it that you love everything that beautiful, and ain’t it just our nature? The only thing that you are different from us normal people is, your heart is more open and sensible to it, and what a gift it is.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, Steve. Thank God for giving us such a special being like you.

    Take care.
    All the best to you and your family.

  14. avatar
    Lian | 25 June 2008 at 11:27 am #

    not the only thing, one thing, of course.

  15. avatar
    Lebrinho | 25 June 2008 at 12:50 pm #

    Rabbits do have a buddha nature, but the project is seriously pending here.. ; )

    Thankfully in this light the office seems phenomenologically non-existent too.

    Without the office, Kane would not be Mahatma.
    We are one in the end.

  16. avatar
    Lian | 25 June 2008 at 1:57 pm #

    if anyone who has unfortunately missed This one, I highly recommend it. See what a fantastic candy(oops!)it is.

    http://stevekilbey.blogspot.com/2006/09/odder-sea.html

    We believe in you, Steve. You are a golden mine. Some shinest diamonds are not yet found.

    Looking forward to your new work.

  17. avatar
    Lian | 25 June 2008 at 2:39 pm #

    Sometimes people are cheated by their own memory, Steve. I remember the first time I commented at your blog, and the next day I found it was removed. I thought you removed it. (at that time I don’t really know much about blog.)

    But about one month ago, I revisited the blog and So surprised to find the line: This post has been removed by the author. Which means, it was removed by myself.

    I still can’t believe it. I don’t know why I did so. if I did, how could it possible that I’d completely forgot it right after that?

  18. avatar
    Lian | 25 June 2008 at 2:46 pm #

    but it didnt take me much time to know that you wont even bother to delete some anonymouses’ comments, no matter how mean they are.

    I like it.

  19. avatar
    davem | 25 June 2008 at 5:02 pm #

    I knew that bloody Sutherland would come back into the fold eventually.

  20. avatar
    MEM | 25 June 2008 at 7:10 pm #

    augh yes, the smell of the pines…

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 June 2008 at 9:04 pm #

    It looks as though several here don’t seem to care that Steve has asked us several times to comment just one time per blog.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 June 2008 at 9:35 am #

    I said it looks as though several here don’t…oh…

  23. avatar
    lily was here | 26 June 2008 at 11:30 am #

    oofle dust 🙂

    xxx


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