posted on January 30, 2010 at 9:20 pm

sunday morning coming down
down the spiral staircase of past days
all the ones i lived n never lived
glimpses and flashes disrupt my continuity
sometimes i disturb magnetic fields
clocks stop and small babies giggle
i smoke dope to tune it all in n block it all out
because all this raw data is too much for me
then
shiva asks his consort
darling with your liquid eyes of love
what is the nature of your reality ?
his radiant and divine wife
answers him in a number of sutras
each a sublime tiny poem of transcendence
she says things like
on a black n rainy night become one with the rain
and i understand immediately
because that i have done my whole holed holy life
on the loneliest of nights when i could not find a friend
was i such a monster…..?
this morning i get a message from a very old friend of mine
just reading his name takes me back to these olden days
he was 19 n i was 18
it seemed that we 2 and only we 2
were the absolute authorities on music n fashion n stuff
although i dyed my hair ponced around n wore a bitter makeup
cmon this was 1972/73 for godsake
i was fiercely heterosexual
i mean i never ever had one tiny second of doubt
n i never had one tiny physical encounter neither
no matter what i was into women ha ha ha
not so my friend who was more” confused”
from things i gathered in his letter today
he was kinda overfond of me
this kinda clouded our relationship a bit
because i really liked my friend
because he knew so much about music n records n production
he had an amazing record collection
all pristine in their plastic covers
but this “confusion” eventually meant we didnt hang out
which was a shame
because in canberra one didnt meet a lotta like minded individuals
my friend had a lotta talent n ability too
but sadly he had no confidence
me…i hadda loada confidence
as i said before
i didnt think i was THAT great
but looking round at the competition….
yet
i still marvel at the mediocre ninnies doing well
i see the great undiscovered cloud of potentials
i take drugs to keep em all out
i study ancient arcane texts to escape from myself
a pair of parrots land on a wire
hes vivid red
she is fluorescent green
radha and krishna deep in the forest
india india india
the upanishadis
the vedas
the gita
their science of devotion
krishna stops time with his kiss
indra sends his daughter to earth to learn our mortal woes
lord shiva with the ganges in his hair
i am a thousand men who passed this way n left no trace
i took opium to block them all out
the subcontinent is on/in my deepest mind
the heavenly birds talk in sanskrit like songs
sunday morning in the pacific ocean
saturday night i walk thru lamplit darkened streets
with my 3 daughters and their friend
they talk out loud of their dreams
i had previously thought their friend a little world weary
but now she waxed rhapsodic on her marvellous series of dreams
“a stable full of horses made of pink diamonds ” she gasps
the 3 daughters listen wide eyed n attentive
as i march em thru the cool back streets of bondi for exercise
i see parties and people drinking outside pubs
cars n taxis pull up n discharge passengers
it is saturday night in sydney after all
but i just march em all thru the streets
silently keeping up the pace
bondi looks lovely on a full moon summers night
there is a sacred feeling in the air
tho not many seem to pick up on it
now the morning has come n almost gone
hot n humid
i already had a sno-cone
one of my fillings has fallen out
yes i bit down hard on life
and life felt like chewing aluminium on your fillings
and life was a snakes and ladders set up
and life was extremely sweet n extremely sour
etc
meanwhile
i’ll stop
have a little rest
re-set
n
continue

20 Responses to “but all the grown-ups they put daggers there instead”

  1. avatar
    ticktockclarice | 31 January 2010 at 1:33 am #

    Wow, that Full Moon Fever is certainly powerful stuff, isn't it? I can sense all the energy and creativity just surging inside you and your frustration at not quite knowing what to do with it yet (dare i say, it's going Too Fast For You?) My youngest son gets like that every full moon, just a completely manic ball of energy, bouncing around and spouting gibberish, it's hilarious. You can't watch him in it's thrall and not acknowledge how greatly affected some people are by it. The full moon was just so beautiful in the twilight sky last night on my drive home from work, that i had to really focus hard not to drive off the road, i couldn't stop staring at it! I feel really sorry for the people so caught up in the rat race, faces stuck in their i-whatnots, that they miss these moments of natural wonder, just random gifts to us from the universe. Mind you, my reverence for the moon has lessened somewhat since becoming a Mighty Boosh convert, kinda spoils the mystique, the same way Ozzy Osbourne was for metalheads after the tv show. Anyhow, great blog as usual Steve (especially love the filling and, snakes and ladders analogies for life, spot on) and really looking forward to what eventuates creatively from your jolt of lunar energy.

  2. avatar
    Jasperina | 31 January 2010 at 1:38 am #

    Walked out of a party in Newtown at about 1am to see that magic full moon with a fluffy white cloud nearby. It was like someone had drawn this wonderful picture in the sky just for me. Balmy soft air and King St still very much awake. Just the night for a walk. Thinking today about drawing that picture myself. Isn't that it Steve living the life then creating it?

  3. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 31 January 2010 at 2:03 am #

    so the tsunami has come down on me and i'm doing a frantic little dog paddle thingo to try and keep my head above water…..such is the beginning of the school year…..

    love always…….

  4. avatar
    cazziem | 31 January 2010 at 2:31 am #

    A beautiful offering for the Sabbath SK. Pity sexuality had any bearing on friendship; love comes in many forms and it’s a shame it wasn’t straightened out back then. But hey, no disrespect to your friend, thinking about it, two young fellas who were ‘the absolute authorities on music n fashion n stuff’? Had the boundaries been identified and the friendship remained strong, would we followers have ttb and chrunch??? Doesn’t bare thinking about really!!

    there is a sacred feeling in the air
    tho not many seem to pick up on it

    You’re spot on there. I felt it too, although 11 hours later, because Saturday was a full moon, and even though I still can’t fathom this one, it certainly has effects

  5. avatar
    LF | 31 January 2010 at 2:32 am #

    "Confusion"? Meaning that your friend did not know he was in love with you? That would be a sad tale, but it would be sadder still if he did know and wrote it off as mere confusion.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 January 2010 at 4:47 am #

    nice watching u on telly last night sk, albeit in replay mode!

  7. avatar
    Steven Krut | 31 January 2010 at 7:58 am #

    Bowie would have just done the friend and absorbed the experience. Probably would have gotten a pretty good song out of it, too.

  8. avatar
    Richard | 31 January 2010 at 10:59 am #

    I bet the three girls were wide eyed and attentive because in their eyes (Scarlett's especially) the idea of horses made of diamonds is still in the realm of the possible.

    Wouldn't it be great to see things that way – to unlearn all the stuff that tells us what we're allowed to imagine?

  9. avatar
    LF | 31 January 2010 at 3:11 pm #

    lol, Steven Krut.

  10. avatar
    davem | 31 January 2010 at 3:29 pm #

    It's freezing here.
    But the weather was perfect for a walk by the river.
    Really crisp and fresh.
    Sunday morning. Amen.
    Love to you and all the fiends.
    x

  11. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 31 January 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    Some of my favorite Kilbey blogs are when Sk references Hindu Gods and sages. I'll always be a Judeo-Catholic but Hinduism and Jainism are compassionate and inspiring.

  12. avatar
    bc | 31 January 2010 at 5:16 pm #

    i'm with you sk…

    "tune it all in n block it all out"

  13. avatar
    Freddie | 31 January 2010 at 5:26 pm #

    "sometimes i disturb magnetic fields
    clocks stop and small babies giggle"

    Hmmm…can i use you in an expirement? Very scientific and it won't hurt …too much. ;->
    Enjoyed reading you today.
    xoxo

  14. avatar
    princey | 31 January 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    I enjoyed that one sk. "Liquid eyes of love",love that one:))

    Good luck to all the kiddies starting school today, my baby starts his first day tomorrow, but I'm the one feeling teary and anxious…I'll miss his little face and voice around the place:(

    love Amanda

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 January 2010 at 11:29 pm #

    My friend brought back some lambs Bread back from Jamaica. Smoked some, ate some brownies ( THE DOG GOT INTO THE BROWNIES) Very stoned puppy swaying to the Church on the foot stool in front of the pellet stove. Ya know the Church is great band to listen to stoned and Gracie the Jack Russel agrees.

    Can't get guitar tracks pro to work on my new computer. Maybe I smoked to much weed. Wish I was in OZ for the winter to see some church shows.
    Oh well time to get ready for the great brain suck at work tomorrow.

    Peace FSF

  16. avatar
    Cocoamo | 1 February 2010 at 3:09 am #

    Your pedestal just got a little higher. Of course, you had to remove yourself from the situation, but to admit the reluctance reveals greatness.

    Reminds me of two movies with my favorite theme–that is that true, spiritual love (the kind that holds electrons to revolve around their nuclei), can transcend the flesh– in case you have not seen them– The Crying Game and The Enchanted Cottage. Love exists on many levels and should always be honored.

    Thank you again for showing us the good side of what mankind is capable of.

  17. avatar
    gavgams | 1 February 2010 at 11:28 am #

    Interesting bloggie.

    Swirly, transformative, mythical then
    grounded and walking like For Love Alone around the harbours (as I imagine it) with the girl dream epiphany a la radiance
    before the face plant of foil dirt and denture.
    Yea that's how it goes… life.

    That's good writing SK. I've read a lot of poetry that's not as good. Maybe that's what this bloggie stuff can do at best… turns one into a poet? with density, with dreamings at night, with an audience.

  18. avatar
    gavgams | 1 February 2010 at 11:42 am #

    Hey Princey.. Amanda.
    Good luck for you and your big boy.
    My youngest boy's starting grade one.

    Don't worry, three o clock comes around quick enough.

    There's a great mp3 on "the reading brain" on radio national that's bloody interesting for anybody who thinks and reads I guess:
    http://www.abc.net.au/rn/edpod/stories/2008/2373154.htm
    Have a look at the past podcasts too.. Anyway.. hope you took the tissues.

  19. avatar
    ross b | 3 February 2010 at 11:42 am #

    nice. it's a great gift, i think, to recognise a sacred feeling in the air. money can't buy that.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 February 2010 at 2:01 am #

    Keep posting stuff like this i really like it


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