posted on November 10, 2010 at 8:11 pm

afternoon of a fawn

the delightful night delivers

cocktail wait a while tuxedo poet

the shambles the preambles

naked air transmits chemical messages

the storm my god hesitates

white lightning black empty stockings

old photographs

in my room where sleep is waiting

in my room so full of  darkness

the raindrops are fuller than ever

the windows rattle rattle in the wind and shook shaking

i lie in a bed with no sheets

something sticks into my shoulder

my other shoulder older brother to the first

the rain contained in black black cloud

by midnights grace i cross the floor into the poor place

my head aches my eyes hurt

my  throat is tight

i lie upright

in tonight

moon in pinkish light

even

my friends say daddy youre a fool to cry

and

it makes me wonder why

31 Responses to “colourful local identity”

  1. avatar
    lily was here | 10 November 2010 at 8:45 pm #

    In the memory motel, you’re a fool if you don’t cry
    alone if you can’t cry
    love xo

  2. avatar
    Lyndall | 10 November 2010 at 9:38 pm #

    It also makes me wonder why? As the star of your life – Release, accept and forgive yourself… have a good cry if you feel like it… it’s good for the soul and the healing process. So good to see you have friends close by (had me worried sick there for a moment). Can relate to “the shambles the preambles” Most of us have a good book in us derived from the most shitful stuff.
    All so sad … but you also made me laugh … I’ve been there!… lying in bed with no sheets and something (photos, papers, an earring whatever…) sticks into my shoulder or back or worse still my face… now that’s a really bad look! Take care L x

  3. avatar
    Donna | 10 November 2010 at 10:48 pm #

    I’ve been away and am only now catching up on things on your side of the world. I’m so sad to read about nk and girls, but trust in your judgment that it’s the best thing for right now. I’m sure positive things will come from it. I admit I’m going to miss seeing pictures of your girls for a while, but, 2 months passes quickly. I’m glad you have your work to pour yourself into. Lots of love from Massachusetts to you, your family and all readers. Donna

  4. avatar
    Freddie | 11 November 2010 at 12:52 am #

    Daddy-o do you even know what would make you smile?

  5. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 11 November 2010 at 1:10 am #

    I have been revisiting “Forget Yourself” for the past 5-7 days. That album frigging ROCKS !!!!! That is a masterpiece that many may have past over while flippin thru their own catalogs. Brilliant !!!! Always loved the aggressive edge to that album, but the softer touch of ‘Maya’ is mesmerizing. I believe the gem on the album to be ‘Nothing Seeker’, oh how it seduces you in at the beginning only to have you hang on for dear life thru-out. That song is such a perfect compliment to the rest of an incredible piece of perfection. The tour here in Chicago in March of 2004 at the HOB was fantastic. It highlighted ‘forget yourself’ and recent releases. “Numbers” played live was a treat, I love that album (AENT also), but it sits slightly behind ‘forget yourself’. Thanks for creating yet another piece of sonic perfection !!!!!

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  6. avatar
    . | 11 November 2010 at 4:45 am #

    where it will take you nobody really knows
    only the impressions in the black rain will show
    life lovingly lived, washed away, so d*!m hard to control
    the light flickers, temporary gateways to lessen the blow
    nothing to protect this shell from the panic, the stinging cold
    i remember when it was all said and done, ancient stories had been told
    my job just to follow it, smile, live a little, dream, stand tall, be bold
    they’re slipping from my grasp as i question the circle, the infinite whole
    walkabout in the beauty, no peace in my bones, where to travel, where to go?
    religion failing, people ailing, life devouring, taking it’s tragic toll
    i fear for my young ones, precious and dear, we’re more than skin and bones

  7. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 11 November 2010 at 6:28 am #

    you okay esskay???

  8. avatar
    hellbound heart | 11 November 2010 at 7:35 am #

    warm and humid darkness….

    love always…..

  9. avatar
    Tanya | 11 November 2010 at 8:04 am #

    I distinctly remember those Stones’ song lyrics. Mick sounded so “ghetto” singing that song! Fascinating,amusing man.

  10. avatar
    princey | 11 November 2010 at 8:37 am #

    Sorry to read you’re feeling this way sk, but I know it’s going to be hard coming home to an empty house, but as the old saying goes “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Take care of yourself sk and keep in touch (we worry about ya) 🙂

    love Amanda

    • avatar
      Karen | 11 November 2010 at 9:02 pm #

      strange to be suddenly alone
      though as you said you have music & art and supportive freinds and…
      I dont know as above I guess
      hang in there

  11. avatar
    homer | 11 November 2010 at 11:56 am #

    Broken Toys – agree about nothing seeker, one of my favourite tracks. Saw it played live around 2004 simply mesmerising. FY sits in my top 2 Church albums of all time.
    Hang in there SK.

  12. avatar
    redgrevillea | 11 November 2010 at 12:21 pm #

    everywhere you go you always take the weather with you.. *whimsical whistle~whistle*

  13. avatar
    . | 11 November 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    i remember long ago when we huddled around the 25″ CRT television on a dark and rainy saturday night somewhere in nowhere and watched the comic mischief of dana carvey and phil hartman on saturday night live, hamburger and fries filled our bodily appetites while the spirit lived in the yearning mode, forever searching for that one thing that would make it all right, simple life, simple pleasures, unearthed sleeve notes on the speaker, read, the occassional wish that domestic utopia would magically materialize from the ashes into concrete reality, mom happier, brothers more adjusted, sister protected, dad sober, now only more distant, like the wish that never really was, faith it gets better when my perspective is flash bright, alive…battled tested, true and tried…

  14. avatar
    neptune | 11 November 2010 at 3:08 pm #

    Sometimes a really good cry makes me feel healed and fulfilled. It’s like crying away the emptiness. Holding it back just makes you more miserable. There has been times when I just let it all out (rare) … and it can take it’s toll — but afterward, I can find the next step to take (or at least stand up again) —- Like not being stuck anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like the sun coming out after a rain or anything, but more like noticing that the dead rosebud has finally fallen off of the rosebush, to make room for a new rose to bloom.

    I know that you can rise above your hard times … a good time to be taking notes, but I guess you know that! 😉

    Life isn’t easy, in fact often quite hard — but looking down the road at all you have to be thankful for, you must be strong young man. And it IS true, that distance does make the heart grow fonder, and good for healing too.

    Now go put some sheets on the mattress — It’ll make ya feel a helluva lot bettah, bettah, beeeetttahhh! 😉

  15. avatar
    Linjo | 11 November 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    Hi Steve. Was doing a big walk today around the coast and thinking about you.
    I was about the same age as NK when I split with my husband. In retrospect, he was and still is, the best man I have ever met. I am glad he is the father of my boys who are so well grounded. I hope things do turn out well for you and NK but if not, at least the girls with have the love and gifts of two caring, intelligent and responsible adults who truly wanted them. We can only try to do the best we can but shit, living with one person and being totally compatible is almost like winning the lottery. Anyway, as long as kids know that they are valued, whatever happens, they will be good. Linda. Happiness comes in small spurts. xxx

  16. avatar
    Dutchpierre | 11 November 2010 at 6:45 pm #

    Anyone interested in GB3 but wants to know what its like – to me it has tinges of HOB & Foregt Yourself fused with some Joy Division & a bit of other stuff – really good so go get it!!!!

    Dutch

    • avatar
      Tristesse | 12 November 2010 at 12:06 am #

      Agree completely Dutchpierre

  17. avatar
    Dutchpierre | 11 November 2010 at 6:48 pm #

    Sorry – that was Forget – must have been the dutch coming out of me – hi Andy.

  18. avatar
    Richard | 11 November 2010 at 8:29 pm #

    my one good eye has some sort of infection
    it’s been sending a tear down my right cheek
    every 20 minutes or so, for about a week
    happy to donate a few if you want em
    (they’re starting to shit me)

  19. avatar
    DavidP | 11 November 2010 at 10:18 pm #

    I like the random quote I just saw on the right hand side of this site;
    “when the lower earnestly seeks the higher, the higher promptly allows itself to be found.” — vernon howard

  20. avatar
    bionicanna | 12 November 2010 at 3:23 am #

    in the lifeless patience of ghostly companions
    beats the phantom heart of peace

    • avatar
      PINK CHURCH FLOYD | 12 November 2010 at 9:09 am #

      I love that ^^

      • avatar
        bionicanna | 13 November 2010 at 12:11 am #

        thanks.

        black holes build a world of light within, but the brightest stars are fueled by utter darkness.

  21. avatar
    Jasperina | 12 November 2010 at 7:28 am #

    The perpetual brink of tears has become a close companion of late. Yoga, walking and the warm voices of close friends. What else is there to do when each day you must wade through the depths and torrents of life…keep creating, making and conjuring. The real magic never disappears as long as we keep seeking and yearning for it

  22. avatar
    PINK CHURCH FLOYD | 12 November 2010 at 9:08 am #

    It’s time to relax
    The tightness in your throat is telling you that.
    Today, open your bedroom window and let the fresh, sea breeze air in.
    Tonight, find your softest sheet and tuck it over the mattress.
    And your favorite pillow cases.
    It’s these simple things that really help Kilb’s.
    Try to meditate at bed time.
    Meditate yourself to sleep.
    Focus on the sounds of the crashing waves
    And forgive yourself.
    Life can get crazy sometimes.
    It happens to all of us.
    We love you
    Ange xo

  23. avatar
    andy | 12 November 2010 at 9:20 am #

    hey steve,
    linjo, dutch, homer, these people may not be as voiciferous as some….
    but theyr’e never far away.
    and…as for the more regular contributors,
    what a splendid lot they are!

    only love can break your heart killer…
    bests to ya.

  24. avatar
    veleska1970 | 12 November 2010 at 11:25 am #

    being alone in an empty house when you are not accustomed to it is difficult. it’s dark, cavernous, lonely, and the quiet is deafening. keep yourself as busy as you possibly can so that you don’t have time to stop and dwell.
    .
    sending tons of love and hugs to you……..

  25. avatar
    isolde | 12 November 2010 at 3:52 pm #

    cos you’re not a weeping willow you’re a pine tree

  26. avatar
    davem | 12 November 2010 at 5:14 pm #

    Life eh?
    Look after yourself.
    x

  27. avatar
    Deutschlander | 12 November 2010 at 11:38 pm #

    Hey Killer,
    life in a darkened room with shadow women ain’t wot it’s all about. Get outta there, dig the sea breeze and the gentle rain, let it water yer soul!
    Sending ya lots of good vibes across the miles,
    JJ


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