posted on March 5, 2011 at 6:14 pm

muse inc impropriety unlimited

either you got it

but i dunno

maybe you can work on it

maybe theres a billion ins a trillion ways

maybe theres a hundred thousand lives you will lead

think of all those days

wheres it all coming from

all of it….?

all that stuff on the shelves of shops

all those words on the blind poets lips

all the electricity

all the plasma

all the music never running out

i am insane i am sane i am tuned in to an other frequency

i voyage thru my sadness madness

memories fill my billowing melancholy

i see bird phantoms in the clouds

after a while an invisible hand guides me

i had crossed some line

a bermuda triangulated inside my head

i go all the way back you know

like we all do

never was a time we did not all live

i have been ripped from other times clawing to hang on

i have died and woken up a century before my birth

and i take it all in on somehow

this life came provided with my muse who lives in my head

sometimes i try to get a good look at her

yes its a she you know because i hear her voice

the words that come to you now

or say on priest = aura

dictated in some foreign glyph

my muse is ancient baby

sometimes she say think of it yourself you lazy bastard

othertime after we have been close for a while she let me have it

right between the eyes

its so fucking obvious

right between the eyes

creativity everybody got their own way

everybody must do this for themselves or be nothing

this is holy profane brilliant stupid new old

a real comi-tragedy a blockbusting flop

use your hurt

transform your joy

dive deep

skim the shallows

one at a time

all at once

what would i know…?

trust me i’m an expert…..!

revere saraswati

even if she is non existent it cant hurt

i walked around with a picture of her in my pocket

i took it out n i thought about how i wanted to excel

to glorify god

to get a big pat on the back

to soothe beasts

to pull chicks

to impress some prick  in some stupid bar

to continue on to soldier on for art n show biz

because i was hooked on the applause

and i needed the cash

and i liked making people feel good too

it turned me on to turn people on

suddenly my band improves all the time

our conditions have been somehow most favourable

we hung in there

everything flows nicely

we attract like attracts like

its all a fluke

you’ll get your turn

work hard

slack off

jack off

crack up

break thru

shake up

its all valid

its all a game

all of it

take it seriously just the right amount

have a fucking laugh at yourself

have a good cry for me

drowning in girls in my own house

hanging on to a kitten

struggling to get one thing done

fumbling with the keys

at the door to eternity


25 Responses to “coming up with this stuff”

  1. avatar
    hellbound heart | 5 March 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    use my hurt…..
    shit, how do i do that?
    all it does is hurt me…..

    love always….

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 March 2011 at 5:11 am #

      Double H…

      Thanks for the well-wishes the other day. That was very thoughtful. This site moderated by our fearless leader, is overflowing with compassionate people. What a concept-to gather us all together in one singe place-to encourage and inspire each other.

      Thanks SK !!! Thanks again H-H !!!

      Darrin K.

  2. avatar
    sue c | 5 March 2011 at 9:10 pm #

    girls and kittens, these are a few of my favourite things xx
    thanks for hanging in there sk, it will get better

  3. avatar
    . | 5 March 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    very good words steve
    to another time i’ve been
    preoccupied though i am
    the image of a goddess
    starts to materialize and unfurl
    shiva and durga would be proud
    the songs from her veena
    rain from the clouds
    and there’s peace
    surround sound

    you’re where
    you’re supposed to be
    the memories from your pastS,
    rocket fuel for your artistry
    you got it good my man
    nothing elaborate, no master plan
    just the honest expression of the time being
    lost in the present on the way to eternity
    have a good weekend, release your energy
    through some campaign of cosmic creativity
    it shall be well with thee

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 March 2011 at 10:23 pm #

    well I find myself in my 39th year
    in the year of our gourd twenty eleven
    there was a reason that brit chose 39
    gave his steps a sense of impending doom
    misfortune disease social awkwardness
    mosquitoes aren’t quite in the league of locusts
    how about facebook? does that qualify
    as pestilence

    the air is thick with dragon flies here
    o how i wish they bit with alacrity
    anyhow my lovely offspring are safely abroad
    in the land of nod
    dreaming of wolves in doll houses
    my wife is out
    a painted doll outside her house
    collecting the hungry glances of young wolves
    for counting later
    bearing witness tonight she is
    to a 70s tribute band
    they’ve been plying their schtick for almost as long as la iglesias
    they stuff themselves into stinky jumpsuits every weekend
    like crooked cocks in glo-mesh condoms
    and the yummy mummys go wild
    not her choice i have to say
    today i booked ed in the spiegeltent doing today wonder
    and lo she was well pleased
    i wonder if your dna remains somewhere
    in a calico fold

    then here’s me
    here’s me and the time being
    well his comments anyway
    here’s me and the time being and a coupla endones
    and a nice bottle of Penfolds Bin28 Kalimna Shiraz
    feeling mellow
    feeling the opioids loping through me
    i thought i’d have a look at my new body
    yeah the one i’ve dragged through the gym
    this last year
    i mean it’s impressive
    but hazel rowley just died at 59
    a heart infection
    my body is what it is
    who knows about my heart
    you with your songs coming true
    just be so fucking glad
    they haven’t come true like they did for grant
    yep his heart sure is quiet now
    and irrespective ric’s schleps on
    not quite as though he was never there
    but just about

    yeah i know i thought
    i’ll have a word to steve
    i still feel such…affinity
    such a telepathic link
    like every other innernet jockey here i suppose
    and then
    there’s no dialogue
    there’s just the idea of you
    and the memory of all that can go wrong here

  5. avatar
    mark griffith | 6 March 2011 at 12:39 am #

    “take it seriously just the right amount.”

    very nice blog…

  6. avatar
    evilren | 6 March 2011 at 2:53 am #

    most excellent post

  7. avatar
    Cee | 6 March 2011 at 3:20 am #

    sometimes she say think of it yourself you lazy bastard
    othertime after we have been close for a while she let me have it
    right between the eyes
    its so fucking obvious
    right between the eyes

    algunas veces me dice piénsalo por tí mismo, flojo cabrón
    otras veces después de estar muy juntos me lo entrega
    directamente entre los ojos
    chingao, es tan obvio
    directamente entre los ojos

    FYI – Saraswati = Saint Cecilia

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 March 2011 at 3:31 am #

    imagination – peace and torment — and then it all comes out. who comes up with this stuff?

  9. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 March 2011 at 5:06 am #

    I love this blog entry today !!!

    I was 15 years old when I met Jenny (my forever muse). She had raven silky hair, light green eyes that could examine your soul, and a smile that always possessed the power to alter her surroundings…sometimes deviously. Yes, my current wife Laura would attest that from all the stories (fact or fiction) that Jen was my soul mate even if it was for only 3 years…25+ years ago.

    She inspired me to be a better person, her intellect was mesmerizing. She pushed me hard to practice practice practice. Her understanding of music was infectious. While my current wife Laura enjoys my guitar, or any instrument playing (painting or poetry) for that matter…she never had/has the passion for music as I do and as Jenny did so long ago. While guys and girls were chasing about, she was reading poetry and confessing her deep desires for me…than prodding me to repeat an ‘E Major Pentatonic Scale-Positions 2,4,6,9,11 over and over till I was eyes closed…dreaming of her beauty as I shred up and down the fretboard. I was hooked and so was she. We saw ‘the church’ at The Cabaret Metro on Clark St here in Chicago in 1984, together, holding hands. Sorry SK… but she thought Marty was ‘hot’, but I was alot hotter… wink-wink!

    No one encouraged me like Jennifer, than and now.

    2 months prior to our H.S graduation, her father suddenly passed away. Her mother hit the bottle hard and was mentally-spiritually-physically, gone. One morning before school my phone rang and Jen was crying, she was leaving right at that moment to go live with her grandparents and we both were crushed. Listen folks…there was no FarceBook, Qwitter, EmptySpace…blah blah blah…there was only handwritten letters, expensive long distant phone calls and the like. She did not return for prom, she never returned at all. And than..she just vanished as if her existence never actually happened.

    So, today when I paint, write, or tear up my guitar with a filthy scale runnin at lightning speed…I still think of Jen, hoping she is ok and found happiness in an unhappy time and my wife Laura knows this, and has always been ok with it…cuz if Johnny Depp came a calling-my sorry ass would be history before the door even closed…LOL !!! (Why do ladies swoon for that guy? He is greasy and slurs? mumbles? when he speaks…how in the hell is that attractive??? LOL !!!)

    Donna…yesterday you further commented regarding you ‘crumbling’ and lack of time to chase creative endeavors. I am sorry to stir up anything and than it hit me hard. You are the ultimate creator, Mother Earth, you have given us all three amazing children who will grow to be incredible adults. So…everyday…you are further molding, shaping, willing, and teaching the hearts,minds, and emotions of those you hold so dear, your children (ages? genders? … if not to personal). Look up at my avatar, she is my angel. She told me that she is going to be a ‘doggie doctor’ yeasterday… and went off in search of her toy doctors kit and stuffed animals to ‘help’. Kristina is so strong willed that I wrote it on the calendar, the day SHE decided what she wanted to be. And by sheer determination, she will be that. My ‘prince of spades’, my son Alex, turns 20 in couple weeks and is deeply entrenched in higher learning to thrive in a future career as a teacher, he loves kids and works with them every summer here in Chicago since he was 14. He has been playing guitar for 4-5 years now, just wish he had a muse to get him to dedicate more to it.

    So there Donna, I am proud of your paintings, your songbirds, they are your children because to prosper and overcome all of life’s obstacles, they will be raised by a village of caring people-led by their glorious mother.

    Have A Great Weekend Everyone !!!

    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 March 2011 at 5:18 am #

      I am so sorry for the length of this stuff friends. My back feels pretty good today and that, alone, lifts my spirits as quickly as it crushes them. So…skip skip skip my ramblings if you must. I just feel great today. And as` I turn off this laptop. I’m gonna pick up-plug in and shake my neighbors ears for a bit. Fuck it, I like it LOUD !!!

      Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Donna | 6 March 2011 at 2:58 pm #

      Darrin, No – you didn’t stir anything up!! Your comment was very nice. I simply meant that I, for one, get really bent out of shape when I’m trying to create something and it doesn’t come out the way I envisioned it. I forget that I’m supposed to be enjoying myself! No problem! There are plenty of others out there who never cease to amaze me with THEIR great stuff.

      FYI – offsprings’ names/ages: Michael, 20, Janina, 17, and James, 9. All beautiful works in progress….. Enjoy your family, your weekend, too! Donna

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 7 March 2011 at 12:54 am #

        Janina…what a cool name !!! how did you arrive at that one ???

        Darrin K.

  10. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 6 March 2011 at 8:19 am #


    You have said this before
    however never better than today
    and you have it
    It is a game, often with no rules
    made up as we go along
    spectrum of emotions
    change daily
    try to enjoy the little things
    I heard about Maria, she hated the rat race
    And she escaped to a beautiful place
    Birds of neo-paradise groove in the trees
    The name of her town is Tranquility

    Thats were you come in
    You help it make sense
    there is hope that things will get better
    and then there are the days of madness
    I wouldnt trade it for the world
    what did you name the kitten?


  11. avatar
    Cocoamo | 6 March 2011 at 9:36 am #

    Such pretty words. Except for madness, sadness. Remember…

    It’s all good
    It’s all fine
    Everything I want is mine.

    You just want everyone to be happy (including you?)

    And check your visor for the evil Huntsman before getting into the car.

    Just saw a pretty, pretty, pretty nice rocket launch.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  12. avatar
    Donna | 6 March 2011 at 2:03 pm #

    Steve, I love today’s blog. One of the more inspiring and encouraging ones you have written lately. I love that you have a muse, and I like your perspective on creativity. Very interesting stuff!!

  13. avatar
    DavidP | 6 March 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    the evolution of consciousness
    the transmigration of souls
    the human machine
    not yet human Being
    sacrifice kundabuffer
    and raise up kundalini
    to glorify god
    in excelsis

  14. avatar
    ASSMIDGET | 6 March 2011 at 6:51 pm #

    Lucky!My muse is a useless pervert

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 March 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    Please donate to Christchurch earthquake victims

  16. avatar
    Once | 6 March 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    I had to read this three times
    Through an oxycontin haze
    Just out of hospital, surgery done
    Four half-inch abdominal incisions
    Hope I won’t have to take these pills for long
    They’re demonic, all encompassing
    Even to me, and I chuckle at the irony
    Never felt pain like this
    Like I’m filled with broken glass
    Noel watches me from his bean bag perch
    Blinking slowly and smiling
    His all-knowing cheshire grin
    I smile back in spite of the nausea
    Because we know I’ll heal
    Then finally the words come clear
    They come alive
    Or perhaps I come alive to them
    With a rush of clarity and gratitude
    The best rush there is, folks
    I’m on a drug, and it’s called Steve Kilbey
    Divining the undefinable
    In his inimitable way
    I don’t know his muse
    But as She’s his He’s mine
    And here in the Time Being
    We is fab
    So glad to be back
    Although I tend to do well
    Behind hospital walls
    Where all bets are off
    Because I know how many
    Never leave there
    And as one who did
    I’ve got work to do.

  17. avatar
    Lara | 7 March 2011 at 9:04 am #

    Love this ode to your muse. Saraswati: a pretty smart lady and not as militant as Athena. A good choice.

  18. avatar
    redgrevillea | 7 March 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    Nice one – thanks for those sage reminders, Steve. It’s good to read “life is a game, all of it”. Fumbling with the keys at the door to eternity is brilliant too. i find those keys burn my fingers.

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