posted on January 23, 2011 at 10:19 pm

lets meet our next contestant

i’m all thumbs

walk round my old neighbourhood awash in nostalgia

wheres my dirty old rozelle gone

all done up with a new coat of paint and bmws

i used to have a house n a studio here

but i frittered it all away

some fatal flaw that fucks it all up over n over

ah baby thats life yes it is

this pain must refine us

this grief must knock off those rough edges

this hurt must improve our chances on karmas wheel

my children on the plane now

oh God deliver them safely unto me!

because i love em of course because they are such good girls

please a smooth flight and a nice landing

those lovely children bring them home

i realise now how much i miss them

such a short time and then i am away

although it is the last thing i wanted to do

never kept my eye on the ball

never noticed the time or the season

you cant really escape time

doesnt matter what you do

the meter is on and its ticking hard

summer nights will turn into autumn days

children become young people as you turn around

your latest record is some fossil in a museum

everything changing all over the place

and you keep losing stuff

loss loss loss

some feeble gains maybe

just to keep ya interested

but eventually……

ah you get the picture anyway i know

its hard to let it all go

its hard to take it all in

its hard to watch it all pass and passover

its tricky isnt it

life and all that

will we ever learn?

45 Responses to “day of wrest”

  1. avatar
    . | 23 January 2011 at 11:23 pm #

    the whole concept of soul refinement is mind boggling
    regret is a big hindrance to our karmic progression
    the simple truth about regret is we have to endure it
    without it we can’t fully appreciate what’s in front of us
    present tense, do not overlook the bounty in our trust

  2. avatar
    nic | 23 January 2011 at 11:46 pm #

    I lament along with you SK … life has many lessons … wanted or not … and I find, once I actually ‘learn’ any of them … well… time has well and truly marched on … another scary thought … time marching on …
    I agonise over this often … quietly to myself … especially seeing my children blossom and grow in front of my eyes … and my own birthdays are no longer met with excitement … but a little dread … ANOTHER year older … and closer to ….???? … my Dad always says its only a number … but the body IS that number … no matter how young you may ‘feel’ … *groan*
    I guess us melancholy lot must really try to cherish the happy times … your girls arrival will be one of those – sooo wonderful and exciting! – I wish you all a gorgeous reunion … xxx

  3. avatar
    nic | 23 January 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    ps. Rozelle has indeed changed over the years … a more shiny and trendy version now …
    but I still love the markets at the school with all the second hand clothes, trinkets and treasures … that still remains the same (thankfully)

  4. avatar
    kell | 24 January 2011 at 12:34 am #

    Oh Skilb,
    Family & love r so important. “A man without love in his heart is like a man who has no song, who is empty.” – (Courtesy of “Australia” the film).

    You know, Rozelle was 4 a time & a season. All part of your accomplishments, a living part of who you r. “A time for every purpose under Heaven”, or something like that.

    Where you r now has a time, a purpose too.

    You can be a master of time, you can slow it down.

    Everything happens in the Now. All power, all Eternity of You is in this Now. All lifetimes. You are Eternal, & bringing it right into this body, this lifetime, this Now.
    Pretty interesting stuff.

    Enough to blow the brains really.

    Especially when u start noticing that u can affect the weather, with yer very own gravitational pull.

    Well, I notice that.

    Mayan oracle for Monday, incase you or anyone are interested:

    “I empower in order to play
    Commanding illusion
    I seal the process of magic
    With the overtone tone of radiance
    I am guided by the power of self-generation”

    Cheers for now…
    (ps the gain of yer true Self is not feeble, the purer the Heart the greater the gain)

  5. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 24 January 2011 at 1:22 am #

    SK-
    Hug them, Kiss them, Hold them tight !!! Those angels are yours and you are rightfully blessed.

    Have a GREAT DAY !!!!!

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  6. avatar
    david | 24 January 2011 at 1:42 am #

    me the sutra and cattulus ..drinkin red and gettin high as kite ..all day ..have to mix water for the greek ..the sutra less damp..have a great day painter of olde friends…

  7. avatar
    david | 24 January 2011 at 1:46 am #

    roman

  8. avatar
    Donna | 24 January 2011 at 3:05 am #

    Good morning! I’ve really missed your girls, too – all the great little stories you have about them – not to mention the pictures! I’m looking forward to your next picture of them! I’ll offer up a prayer for their safe return.

    Your blog is very convicting…I’m feeling pretty lazy this morning, but reading this, I think – Got so much to do!! Better get moving!! Can’t do without rest, though. And pain, disappointment and loss are inevitable. The flaws just ARE. Like you say, it’s hard. Just do the best you can, right? That’s what we expect of others, and hopefully, that’s all they expect of us!

    Love to you and your girls!!

  9. avatar
    rhk | 24 January 2011 at 3:14 am #

    Wow, I’ve also been in a deep melancholy mood the past week.
    Just went back east last week to see my Dad who is in his mid 80s, in failing health, losing his independence and lamenting the pervasive loss of everyone else in his generation. Made me think hard about the inevitable.
    Drove around my old grade school and college haunts lamenting glory days past and opportunities lost.
    Turning 50 this year and collecting an assortment of aches and pains and degeneration.
    Hear that life clock ticking hard…how many good years left?

    But…
    It’s a beautiful sunny day today. My wife pretty much said “snap out of it. You have 3 wonderful you children to focus on, friends, family, live in a great place, have lots of interests and so on. Focus on the promise of the future and what if can offer and don’t let it get poisoned by these thoughts.” I think she is right, just need to follow her advice…

    You have a busy few months coming up. You guys are going to need all the physical and mental stamina you can muster to play all those 3 hour shows. Best wishes. See you in LA and maybe Seattle.

  10. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 24 January 2011 at 4:07 am #

    I pray for the safety of your girls. You have written dozens of enligtening and brilliant blogs. My favorite was on November 17, 2008. It was called ” a horrow show.” It pertained to the Adelade Vegan Festival. What you wrote was divinely inspired !!!@

    • avatar
      ticktockclarice | 24 January 2011 at 8:59 am #

      I remember that one vividly Brien. It actually inspired me to try and become vegetarian. I only lasted 2 weeks i’m ashamed to say. I felt really lightheaded and awful most of the time. I think i’m the blood type that just has to eat some meat, although i try to eat as little as possible now. But the blog that really changed things for me in a huge way was called “Booze”, posted on Feb 25th 2009. That one hit me square between the eyes, so much so that I wrote it out word for word and read it every morning ever since. I was going down the plughole of alcoholic ruin at that time and that blog inspired me like never before to seek real help. It was AA that finally broke through for me and i am so proud and happy to report that i’m coming up 4 months sober next week, the longest stretch i’ve managed in 20 years. I would never be so arrogant as to say i have it completely beat but i feel like i have a really secure toehold this time and it is all thanks to Steve’s heartfelt, wise, powerful words. Don’t you EVER think that you make no difference in this lifetime and that things will go on as usual when you’re gone. As far as i’m concerned you will leave a massive, gaping hole in the hearts and minds of your fans and followers. You may not feel it sitting alone there with your ticking (but never tocking) clock but you change people’s lives! I am forever grateful to you anyway. You’ve helped give me back a decent, healthy quality of life and a beautiful relationship with my children and i think you are brilliant. You hug those gorgeous girls to death and enjoy every minute you spend with them. They are what life is about. They are ALL it’s about. Much love to everyone xxxx

      • avatar
        thetimebeing | 24 January 2011 at 10:52 am #

        im proud of you clarice
        4 months
        sincere congrats
        sk
        and thanks for that lovely letter

      • avatar
        Narelle | 24 January 2011 at 5:38 pm #

        Hello Clarice
        Rightly so, you should be so very, very proud of yourself…your health…absolutely priceless and precious…well done!!!

      • avatar
        Donna | 24 January 2011 at 10:40 pm #

        Thanks for sharing that! Reading this really blessed me. Congrats!!

      • avatar
        Freddie | 24 January 2011 at 11:56 pm #

        Clarice, that is supremely awesome! :^)

  11. avatar
    andy | 24 January 2011 at 4:26 am #

    ‘will we ever learn?’
    short answer: no.

  12. avatar
    SAW | 24 January 2011 at 5:26 am #

    SK, so happy for you that you get to see your kids today.
    so happy for me that I get to see you in a couple weeks.
    enjoy the time being, SAW

  13. avatar
    NYC_Rich | 24 January 2011 at 5:27 am #

    Tell me about it SK. Recently went back to my old childhood town in Queens (right outside NYC) and everything seemed half the size (or did I seem twice as big?). No matter how much you try to hold on to a moment or feeling time sweeps you past it and forever changes its state. All we can do is live and love and hope things that aren’t in our control work out for the best.

  14. avatar
    neptune | 24 January 2011 at 5:41 am #

    Our children have a way of making things better . . . stabilizing us in a sort of parental way. Yes, there are trials and tribs – but overall ….. when all is said and done — THAT, my dear Mr. Kilbey, is what will be most important to you in this lifetime. I know you know that.

    Prayers for a safe landing into your arms again. Mine are grown and raised with families of their own now, and live far away. I miss them terribly at all times, and only see them a couple times per year … if that. Heartwrenching. Enjoy these years as you will look back on them in the distant future, and have those memories to console you in your g-olden age.

    Tip for the day: Next time plan tour while children are away. Of course, I know you can’t plan ahead for the ‘unforeseen’. I think that would make a good song title … There are so many words that can be arranged to make that song. I might go write one now, for you – my unknown friend.

    Have a great time visiting and catching up with your loved ones!!!! 🙂

    I wish I could come to see you in the states, but since you aren’t coming to Texas – I guess I will miss out again. I am quite sad about this, but will read everyone else’s reviews and view their pics from my computer desk. Traveling is not in Neptune’s Aura – or budget.

    love and peace.

  15. avatar
    neptune | 24 January 2011 at 6:05 am #

    thought for today

    Unforescene – by NeptunesAura

    unforescene
    unawaited
    unforeseen
    unabated

    unknown to me
    but only to the stars
    above
    my love

    unforeseen
    afar
    closing in
    thru door ajar

    twinkling in the distance
    midnight blue
    hovering, floating
    to me – or to you

    often inspiring
    but more often
    tiring
    and when

    undesirable and
    unwanted – or
    Embraced and
    welcomed

    unforescene
    will be
    what it is
    you see

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 24 January 2011 at 6:28 am #

      lovely stuff nep

      • avatar
        neptune | 24 January 2011 at 7:01 am #

        Thank you very much. You inspired me this morning (thanks for that!);

        and you are the one that really and truly writes the most beautiful things, and then also has the talent to sing it with the most soothing, gorgeous voice as well as playing a musical instrument to make it all into one inspiring universal positive energy, to send out and share with the world.

        Quite a legacy, and true beauty is even more beautiful when fossilized. 😉

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 24 January 2011 at 7:02 am #

      Nice Work Neptune-really enjoyed that.

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Lisa | 24 January 2011 at 2:17 pm #

      Neptune, that’s beautiful!

  16. avatar
    sarah | 24 January 2011 at 6:08 am #

    yes it is tricky. you have a beautiful way of moving through it all. suffering literally means “moving through”. we are all moving through life. even the people who put more value on positive emotions and deny negative emotions are still suffering life. life is indeed…loss, loss, loss. that is exactly what life is. the magick is the alchemical transmutation of loss/give. when loss is put into the fire of the heart…life becomes… give, give, give. I think you embody this understanding very well. in the end we can not take anything from this world with us. this is cliche in our western language at this point! however, people SAY they understand this but their actions show they simply do not understand it. giving is the only thing we are here to do. its common sense and basic math. your poetry and sharing has helped fuel fires of deeper understandings in me about this. I will spare you a long post. it has been really beautiful watching you show up time and time again and giving in the midsts of personal loss. there is a tremendous amount of integrity and strength in that. many blessing to you and your girls.

  17. avatar
    cazziem | 24 January 2011 at 6:58 am #

    Aw Bless, I wish you all a VERY happy reunion. If nothing else during this period you have been alone at least you have come to realise how empty your life would be without the girls. My own two are no longer children and whilst the youngest is still at home and drives me to distraction Monday to Thursday, Friday til Sunday when she stays at the boyfriend’s it is like a part of me is missing.

    Make the most of the short time you have with your beautiful children before you head of to the States because before you know it they will be adults too and most probably making a life for themselves in which you are a minor feature. Always loved by them, but no longer the very first person they turn to. xx

  18. avatar
    princey | 24 January 2011 at 8:00 am #

    Hi sk, I’m imagining the girls have landed and are with you right now, so that means happiness for you at last! :)(that thought makes me happy too!) Don’t feel bad about leaving again in such a short time, they’ll have a great time with their loving uncles I’m sure. You’re so lucky to have 2 brother’s that love and care for u so much, they’re always there for you in times of need, not many people have so much love and support from their siblings.
    So, enjoy all the precious time with your little one’s and keep us posted on all their stories about living in Sweden!
    Love always,
    Amanda

  19. avatar
    redgrevillea | 24 January 2011 at 8:50 am #

    my sister bought a house in Rozelle in 1986 prior to the big boom (her birthdate’s almost the same as yours) – the house next door to the rose, shamrock and thistle (think it was called) and they sold it on a whim in 1988 to go live in the blue mountains. turned out to be a not-very-good decision, but that’s life. my family have never done anything right when it comes to making money, we’ve always been the total opposite to most italian migrant families in most respects.

    anyway, money’s nothing, ultimately. hope you have loving, warm reunions with your family,

    much respect.

  20. avatar
    freakalily | 24 January 2011 at 9:16 am #

    Dear Mr Kilbey…….
    long time reader
    first time reply-er (I’m just a nobody)
    I read your words
    it takes me back to my youth
    sitting in front of Rage
    eyeballs in eggshells? What!
    And with such melodic swirls

    now I’m all grown up
    and I’m trolling the net
    Hey that Steve Kilbey guy has a blog
    wonder what’s in it….. what he has to say
    and every day you show us your soul
    share your existence
    it’s like a breath of spirit that fills my mind
    and cushions me in my life
    reminds me we are all but human
    how to I thank someone I don’t know
    thank him for his insight and words
    for his time that he gives us every day….
    I see his friends reply
    that is so nice; that they support him
    I want to say “I’m here too” – how can I be?
    but I am all the same
    in the collective consciousness….
    ty Mr Kilbey 🙂

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 24 January 2011 at 10:49 am #

      hey you
      youre not a nobody to me
      all of you are somebodies to me
      the very core of my sanity
      i need you more than you need me
      you are welcome to whatever you can glean from my ramblings
      thanks for your reply
      much love
      sk

      • avatar
        Jason (jmb066) | 24 January 2011 at 11:42 am #

        Steve,

        I think we need each other equally, you have inspired and been a mentor for me/us and we have never even met. We are here to support you and I wish we could do more for you. Just ask, I think you would be amazed at what we would do for you. After so much you have given us, when I read Clarices post and how she was inspired by your post on alcohol and had a sudden jolt to seek help is amazing. Your words and music have always inspired me and you really do touch us in a way most people on this planet would never understand. I am so excited for you to see your daughters again and feel guilty about the upcoming tour. I hope this tour and your next few releases get you back to your days in Rozelle, the money is nice but your kids are all that matter. I know you know this, I hope and am happy to hear that we do help you when your down.

        Thank You,

        Jason

  21. avatar
    Karen | 24 January 2011 at 9:41 am #

    Great your kidlets are back they will make you snap out of it even if its just for a while

    I Love Autumn best time of year in berra town not looking forward to winter though feel it more as the time marches on

    God Ill be 47 @ the end of Feb regret guilt yep.. shoulda coulda woulda
    ahh well…
    by the way loved your words too neptune:D

    dont forget his art work as well …and since I havent even listened to any of his music since well ……….a long time and I said I would but Ive prcrastinated again:O.
    Its the words that made me stay when I stumbled apon this site a half a year ago
    wow time flies In the time being

  22. avatar
    souldeserter | 24 January 2011 at 11:27 am #

    Listening to So Love May Find Us tonight, maybe Gilt Trip or Painkiller next, dreaming of hazy Sydney summer from my frigid North American winter, warmed by the sounds and the joy of knowing I will be seeing you all soon in Chicago. Just a random note to say thank you for 22 years of soul-soothing (I got on the bandwagon late).

  23. avatar
    herman the german | 24 January 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    yeah kilbey, life can be pretty harsh, but as goethe rightly said:

    ” the meaning of life is life itself”.

  24. avatar
    davem | 24 January 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    Just after 7 in the morning here…….hope the girls are now back safely.
    x

  25. avatar
    Shoffy | 24 January 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    Steve, i think you gotta look at life like having sex, we all know what happens in the end, its what you do along the way, you know, the journey’s more important than the final destination. Your journey has been interesting to say the least, you have done a lot with your life compared to most, thats why we love you. Shoffy

  26. avatar
    Mike | 25 January 2011 at 4:41 am #

    You’ve given us so much already. You are a musician, one of the great ones, and we are part of your following. You can be proud of your life and what you’ve created. Even if you never created another record it’s way beyond what any would have the hope to expect. It will long outlast this particular incarnation and saved more than a few souls.

  27. avatar
    hellbound heart | 25 January 2011 at 10:59 am #

    hard slog sometimes, ain’t it?
    love always……..

  28. avatar
    DavidP | 26 January 2011 at 1:57 am #

    thats life heh
    me thinks yes and no
    going by your own comments life seems for the most part to have left you sad, deaf and partly blind
    but with great loving kids, friends family and fans
    we are subject to karma and dharma, sure, that plays a part
    but if we are our own worst enemy and our own harshest critics
    (i think that is generally true for all of us)
    that is often our consciousness highlighting what needs to change
    where we have some element of control over that
    and the faults in others that really stick out & annoy us
    are often our own as yet unrealised faults
    another trick of the consciousness, trying to get us to see them
    we have free will we have choices
    and the choices we make and actions we take define us
    the things we do or dont do have their consequences
    its one thing to see faults, failings n foibles
    but another to do something about it
    and there are things we can do
    if we can see it, then might as well do something about it
    will we ever learn indeed, actions are what count more than words
    look how long humanity has talked about peace, but where is it?
    suffering makes the soul grow stronger they say, allows for some learning
    and life has a way of bringing about the need for change
    when we have suffered enough we look for the way to change it
    it seems the way is to change ourselves, a purposeful conscious learning & transformation
    which brings about a new set of circumstances
    to one day find for example we can be reassuring, solid and cheerful
    in a totally natural spontaneous and genuine way without having to think about it
    which i know you can do to some extent, i’ve seen it, and it can increase
    as can many other wonderful qualities of the consciousness
    when we know what to do and if we really want it and can endure

  29. avatar
    Christine | 27 January 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    I lived in Balmain for many years, and whenever I go back I think “I want to move back!” that is until it’s time to leave, and then I can’t wait to, like Rozelle, it has changed, and not for the better, and as someone said above, served a purpose, was that part of my life, that moment in time, like Rozelle was yours, part of history now…I do remember you there Steve! I went to your house and was so nervous I spilt a drink all over myself, never mind, I haven’t changed, but the suburb has…you have done SO much with your life! More than I ever have or will, I am another “nobody”, the one always in the front row, wearing the same dress(!), standing under you, staring at you, you shaped my life, you are my youth! You hold it in your music…I can close my eyes and I’m 17 again…thank you Steve, from the heart…X


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