posted on April 30, 2008 at 9:25 pm

why?
slowly materialized and grown
we are given life with all its givens
stebe kilvey do this n do that!
you over there do something else…..
but we are still children
we are still amateurs
how we would be frightened
if we stood inside each others brains
even for a moment…
is my blue your blue?
are we even speaking the same language here?
can we trust even one thing that we are told?
what do we agree on?
almost nothing
he said this
she said that
they use to think this
they believed this but you wont
i believed that but now i dont
they think this but we cant
are you seeing eye to eye with anybody here?
i myself wandering around in circles
coming back to the same bit of jungle
i think i recognize a tree
i think i see something i remember
its a fog
its a joke
its all based on the most childish assumptions
its all teetering on the most nasty edge
imagine the unimaginable…oh i forgot…you cant…
neither can i but you dont know that
as i child i thought i hope those groan-ups know what theyre doing
as an a’dolt i hope the children will figure it out
the people who assure you they got the answers
are the most puzzled of all
an idiot in a suit waving a bible around
mister thats a very interpretable document
are you sure you understand its many levels of meaning
or has some other idiot in a suit n bible
programmed you to believe a tiny iota
that suits some other (much richer) idiot
somewhere in a tv station or in a vatican
saying hes got the only game in town
i believe there is no monopoly on the truth
but the truth itself proves constantly variable
we are observers at the scene of an accident
we have different angles heights perspectives motives histories
we change our stories
i was once an insolent teenager raging against old fogeys
now im an old fogey raging against insolent teenagers
how can i trust what i think?
who am i?
no one constant
no one continuous
which bit of me will live on?
which version of me will heaven download?
if youre a widow whos outlived 3 husbands
who will you be married to on the otherside ?
there is no certainty…i’m finally beginning to see it
and the day it all ends it will seem like a dream
thats why that old song goes
merrily merrily merrily merrily
life is but a dream…
the first time i heard that song
i thought wrong!
life is solid dependable logical factual…
but it seems a little shakey n hazy n unreliable to me now
you lose yer fortune
you lose yer family
you lose yer hair or yer health or yer mind
you lose yer bearings
you lose the fucking plot sometimes
cos there is no plot
everyone is a loose cannon
firing wildly into the unknown
our theorems will fail
our proofs will be proved inconclusive
our various protections will always contain a chink
our meanings will be misconstrued
our names will be forgotten
the valid will be invalidated
the “straights” will be bent
the “bohemians” will be shocked straight
communists turn into fascists
lovers turn murderous
are you getting my drift here, steven?
mr kilbey wake up
the plane landed
the show ended
the winner was announced
ages ago
you poking around in a puddle
on the edge of the most wondrous forest
you torturing the angels
you playing in F sharp minor…this tunes in C
why’d you kill them creatures?
werent they entitled to sweet life too?
why’d ya go n use up the earth?
are the guys in charge idiots too?
i miserably suspect it with all my stupid childs heart
we have been misled by greedy donkeys
secret little boy games played by old fogeys
older donkeys chasing secret bigger carrots
hey
you goats have been kidded
hey you sheep on the lam
hey you ass
hey you chicken
but the animals all need their comfort
me too
im a cockroach in a roach motel
dancing on the heads of the stuck down ones
trying to get to the bait
everything i thought i knew was wrong
everything they get me to swallow comes back up
the good guys seem to falter
the bad guys seem to prevail
people pronounce this or that
as if they aint just temporary blips
other idiots dream up ways to manipulate control or confine
your freedom is as fragile as your reality
your mere ability to walk around or read this doggerel
is dependent on tiny valves n tubes n vessels within your flesh
not malfunctioning or becoming blocked
we fill our heads with rubbish
we fill our guts with rubbish
we fill our seas with rubbish
we fill our earth with rubbish
we think
oh it’ll sort itself out
we think
oh it will all end up somewhere
i just trust in the process
i recycle my empty plastic bottles of earthblood
so im doing my part
i voted in the election for the good guys
i was in a walkathon for the gay whales
i subscribed to wilderness society
and i bought a fur coat
i’m totally vegan except for the babies i eat
i read the bible every day
but i cant understand all that old language in it
i cant understand all the symbology in everything..
if its all dependent on interpretation
why anything could mean anything…!?
our houses are built on shaky foundations
our certainty is unfounded
our take may be warped
our information may not be correct
what to do?
i dunno
im just a washed up singer
with the ability to rave on n on
with a never ending stream of random thoughts
plucked out of the ether
and hastily typed out
in a room in a rented house
in nth bondi nsw
the year is 2008
2008 years since some jews n romans had some guy killed
somewhere
a long way away
a long time ago
a guy who most people dont believe even existed
why did they kill him?
i dunno
they killed lotsa people in those days
it didnt take much to get strung up
didnt he say
love is all you need
and
she loves you yeah yeah yeah!
no
that was another guy they got
i guess…
what will it matter in 3008?
which one will they remember then?
beats me
im gonna stop now
my shoulders aching

20 Responses to “deep freeze”

  1. avatar
    Richard | 30 April 2008 at 11:04 pm #

    “my shoulders aching”

    inevitable when you wear your heart on your sleeve

  2. avatar
    veleska1970 | 30 April 2008 at 11:11 pm #

    you’ve provided some more deep questions today. questions that nobody can ever hope to answer. what does it all mean, anyway? who knows? **shrug**

    “but the truth itself proves constantly variable”
    yes.

    lotza love…..

  3. avatar
    princey | 30 April 2008 at 11:35 pm #

    That’s right…”WHY?,WHY?,WHYyyyy? dear sssk” (sung in the tune of “why,why,why Delilah”)
    Life’s one big heartache, innit?

    Hope it’s sunny up your way, it’s a gloomy, wet, dark & cold day here, perfect for some sk sounds of music 🙂
    Loveamanda

  4. avatar
    the dean | 30 April 2008 at 11:58 pm #

    I’ve always thought that memory is a function of the brain as opposed to the spirit but that doesn’t explain people who remember past lives or are they just processing new information so quickly it seems like the past. Listening to Fripp’s Gates of Paradise I hear some hints.

  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 1 May 2008 at 12:01 am #

    all that matter is that i love you yeah yeah yeah…
    Jonny

  6. avatar
    PAGEY | 1 May 2008 at 12:35 am #

    i’d forget any thought of the afterlife. Its all a sham. Live for the moment and save the earth. Have the smallest footprint you can and be good, be the best actually. Don’t label yourself and don’t judge. Be creative and get all the insurance you can muster up. Yeah, nothingness is just that. So many more questions always. Its too complicated to think at allPeace be with all. Be a peacenik. Love ya Stevey Key

  7. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 1 May 2008 at 1:25 am #

    Love all people as children of God. Love the entire animal kingdom as creatures of God. To injure or kill an innocent person or animal is an affront to the Creator. Reverence for all life can HOPEFULLY? be a Stairway To Heaven.

    “Pain In Any Language” is tenably the most gripping and poignant song I’ve ever heard. It was written and sung by Billy Mackenzie only a few months before the gay Catholic animal lover (especially whippets) overdosed pursuant to the fatal combination of his frustrating, stymied career and the loss of his beloved mother. His voice was imbued with incomparably celestial octaves. He had previously made money with the Associates while his brilliant post Associates albums were completely ignored. “Wild And Lonely.”

  8. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 1 May 2008 at 4:57 am #

    “are you getting my drift”

    this song randomly “drifted” to my ears
    as i read your blog…

    Here I am
    Here we are
    As it will go on forever
    Noise, always noise
    Candles burn
    lights are low
    I haven’t a place to go
    Life in its constant state of moving no where

    The music is nice
    floats through the air
    Sounds of waves crashing
    everywhere
    Percussive submissions
    Mind conditions
    Righting with the left hand
    Unknowing and taking the chance
    Why not fly?
    Why not try?
    This constant game I’ve played to stay high
    But all is just a state of mind
    All is reality of your choice
    Constant evolution
    Constant adaptation
    Constant state of moving nowhere

    Footsteps
    Silence is loud
    Kindness brave
    Wisdom is long
    Loving is necessary
    I need it
    We need it
    Searching
    Looking for satisfaction
    It is nowhere
    It is everywhere
    Pleading and praying
    For God to come
    What are we waiting for?
    Why are we so afraid?
    Of taking charge

    – “Streets Of New York” by Alicia Keys

  9. avatar
    sharka | 1 May 2008 at 6:40 am #

    By “3008” I am hoping time will have been done away with. That would be real progress!

  10. avatar
    matt davison | 1 May 2008 at 6:43 am #

    Cold internet cafe’ Melb may 2008.

    why am I here??????????????????????

    Hi Sk & dRUIDS…

    MD

  11. avatar
    craig1.618 | 1 May 2008 at 9:57 am #

    “2008 years since some jews n romans had some guy killed”

    http://www.bloodline-themovie.com

    what does anyone really know for sure

    aren’t we all just speculators speculating

    fishhead hat anyone?

  12. avatar
    heather | 1 May 2008 at 10:38 am #

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Balloon

  13. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 1 May 2008 at 10:50 am #

    …so many doubts in your head floating around at the moment, but i don’t know, think of the stange, unexplainable and inexplicable things that happen around us, look at how perfectly things fit together in nature and the universe, shit, it’s probably more preposterous to think that all of this was the product of some completely random occurence than to think that some Force or Architect is behind it…small miracles happen all the time if we pause and take a bit of a look…
    love always…

  14. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 1 May 2008 at 10:51 am #

    bugger, why do i always spot the spelling mistakes after i’ve posted things… ‘r’

  15. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 1 May 2008 at 12:11 pm #

    work is the key – at the risk of sounding overly protestant. you said a few days ago that the vices are dominating, no work being done. being too slack and losing the routine means slipping into discontentment and too much analysis of things that you can’t do anything about anyway. i am naturally lazy and have to force myself to work (at whatever, my actual work, gardening, hoovering the loungeroom etc.) when i fail to start i feel like shit at the end of the day, knowing i’ve wasted it. no offence mr kilbey, i do not want to suffer the razorsharp tonguelashing that has been the fate of many on this blog. nothing to do with me of course, but you sound well and truly fed up at the moment.

  16. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 1 May 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    Morgan Scott Peck (22 May 1936 – 25 September 2005) who was a US psychiatrist and best-selling author & wrote the infamous book The Road Less Traveled, also wrote a book on death, In Search of Stones: A Pilgrimage of Faith, Reason and Discovery (Hyperion 1995). In his book he illustrates the universally shared experience of death & the immediate after life – tunnel of light etc, experience & what follows by way of a fictional story of someone’s death. Peck had done world wide research on this fascinating topic by way of interviews with people who had returned from death. Since reading this I have a new understanding of what death might hold for us mortal beings, not that I am at all perturbed by my own death for me, but I fear more greatly the death of those I love. Sad for you S.K after losing your friend. Take care. Heather

  17. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 1 May 2008 at 1:21 pm #

    Woops – got the title wrong!! The correct book for the topic of death & afterlife is: ‘In Heaven As On Earth: A vision Of The Afterlfe’ by M Scott Peck, sorry folks, too much going on & not focussing properly…

    take it easy… Heather

  18. avatar
    Matthew | 1 May 2008 at 2:42 pm #

    Wow, that was all very moving SK. You know, the grief will pass… (but it takes so long, my Lord…)

  19. avatar
    John | 1 May 2008 at 8:55 pm #

    “the good guys seem to falter
    the bad guys seem to prevail”

    Which is why I just can’t bring myself to vote anymore.

    John Garratt

  20. avatar
    knot | 1 May 2008 at 9:23 pm #

    just enjoy the sunshine
    for
    as someone did once say..

    A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.
    Steve Martin


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