posted on December 11, 2008 at 7:48 pm

uh huh
i cracked the sea
it looks a little like draped material
but it is the sea
i just looked long long long n hard
i started in a corner with a solitary ripple
n i drew each bloody line or i erased it away
my sea will do
my sea will be just fine
phew!
tibor got dragged away to his death
by a scrap metal man
nk n lil sk watch teary eyed from the window
dad…? says lil sk…whats wrong with tibor..
well darlin’ …i say
as they pull his hub caps off n thread a huge ugly chain
through his soft familial cabin…
well darlin’….tibors been a good car…
…and we all loved him….
…i loved ‘im more than anyone….
….but you see …
theres this highway in the sky….
and by tea time tibor will be cruising it
his cd player will be pumping the gutter twins
where cars never run out of petchrul
n never over-heat
n never blow their head gaskets….
there is a groan as they winch tibor aboard
the big truck
he swings uncertainly in the air…
oh god his wheels go round searching for purchase
the men struggle with tibors mighty bulk
pushing n pulling him
at each new insult nk n lil sk softly moan
finally they get him lashed down
a man walks around doing something
oh no exclaims nk
there is a hiss n tibor lurches down…
theyre letting down his tires…she says teary eyed
the truck drives away through the rain
tibor bound n defeated….does he still feel pain?
i see my stupid bumper stickers disappear for the last time
“no fat blokes”
cleverly driving around pissing off half the geezers in australia
although bondi contains many fine specimens
the hinterlands are populated by lotsa blokes
eating lotsa cheesy wheezie
n drinking lotsa beery weary
n doing no exxy-size at all
they have become fat blokes
in other languages rendered thus
der grossen schwine-belly
los bastardos de blubbero
or simply
le grande splodge
anyway no insulting stickers for tibor 2
if there ever is a tibor 2, that is…..
ricki came over n i showed him some of my jack frost in usa 1991
i have 8 hours of vid im threatening to make into dvd
i play ricki the bit where our hapless t.m.
is hopelessly lost in the middle of some sorta turnpike ballsup
hes trying to make a call on a call box but the phones arent working
or he cant find any change
or he keeps dialling the wrong number
(no mobile phones in 1991, folks)
i’m filming him
i’m filming him on the side of a huge freeway
cars n trucks whizzing by in the rain in all directions
i’m laughing and cackling like a fiend from hell
at all his misfortunes
the guy is a strange lugubrious guy with thick feminine lips
n blinking hurt eyes like a cow
but he cant take a fucking trick
he sticks his last quarters in the last phone box
the quarters drop
he turns to me n winks
ah success…
hello …says a voice
the t.m. nods at me n smiles
hello he says
is this radio knqr point 99?
(we were sposed to be doing an interview there)
he waits confidently for the answer
it comes
no!
oh…he says
they hang up
but he goes on saying something to the phone
i start cackling like a 3 year old moron
mclennan sits in the back o’ the car
so fucking imperiously
he smokes a cig
and waves the smoke out the window
in small precise hand movements
like a prince dismissing an unfavourite courtier
i report on our lack of progress
giggling n carrying on like an obnoxious prick
“we’re lost…giggle giggle
none of the phones work
hes got no more quarters..giggle giggle”
mclennan is not amused
he sits in a cold rage
disgusted by this jokers lack of wherewithal
is that camera on ? he hisses at me
as he puffs furiously on his peter stuvyesant
the dopey tm gets back in the car
grant is sitting looking at this huge fucking map
of new york phiilly n baltimore n all its highways
do you know where we are ? asks the dopey one hopefully
yes… says grant pointing to the middle
where a thousand complicated lines n symbols converge
..we’re somewhere here!..he says jabbing at the confusion
n thrusting the map at the guy as a wrinkled up ball
me?
i go on filming n giggling
the guy goes on bumbling n stumbling
grant goes on silent n fuming
finally i try to film from the car
through the miserable drizzling rain
as the hapless tm in a booth
bashes a dead telephone down
over n over n over
in a senseless bloodthirsty rage..
when we finally arrive at the station
hours n hours late
its a little cottage in the middle of a fucking forest
im giggling
grant is fuming
the guy is bumbling
wow
this has gotta come out
in between you’ll hear us playing some songs
and goofing off
grant regaling us with tales
me being me
a real turkey….before my great fall
gee
my hair looks good tho…

38 Responses to “Esponja De Arte”

  1. avatar
    seoigh | 11 December 2008 at 9:10 pm #

    Sounds like something out of Paris Spleen. Fun, fun.

  2. avatar
    veleska1970 | 11 December 2008 at 9:45 pm #

    yay!! you were able to tackle the difficult task of painting a sea. can't wait to see (sea?) it. πŸ˜‰

    now that tibor is gone, how will you get around? R.I.P.

    yes, please put your escapades on DVD. it sounds a little like "jokes, magic & souvenirs", but maybe with a little more goofing off?

    have a great day, steve.

    lotza love…..

  3. avatar
    jax | 11 December 2008 at 9:47 pm #

    sk, sorry to hear about Tibor..may he rustin peace.. say hi to the Rikkasaurus from sunny CA..

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2008 at 10:04 pm #

    release away bud!

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2008 at 10:42 pm #

    the sk from the late 90s would have taken offence at that sticker ya know….

  6. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 12 December 2008 at 12:37 am #

    ahh and tibor drives away into the endless sunset on a infinite stretch of gunbarrel road……
    video footage sounds rather amusing, sir…did grant ever watch this footage and find any of it funny in hindsight?
    love always….

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 12:47 am #

    The surreal footage in Portugeese is perfect, sir.

  8. avatar
    Freddie | 12 December 2008 at 2:47 am #

    the sea – knew you could
    tibor – so sorry…
    jack frost dvd – excited!

  9. avatar
    seoigh | 12 December 2008 at 2:50 am #

    i’ll show you how the killer once travelled

    they used to call this a tibor

  10. avatar
    Martin | 12 December 2008 at 4:47 am #

    A Jack Frost-dvd would be great!

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 6:02 am #

    Tis sad about Tibor, but Tibor2 is waiting out there somewhere to join the Kilbey fambley.

    Yes, you gotta make the JF dvd, will be brilliant.

    Rickys' back, that can only mean one thing, the countdown to Painkiller is on. Need a huge does of it, keep the supplies ready.

    Have a safe & happy weekend.

    Peace & love
    Therese

  12. avatar
    kat | 12 December 2008 at 7:41 am #

    oh my! i am so sorry for you eskkay.. if only i faced the problems you encounter… tires deflated… well, try like thinking you're gonna have to eat your dog's left paw to get by.. & deal with a family health crisis. i mean life and death here.. i really don't care to hear if getting a xmas tree is wrong…. or if i eat chicken its wrong..\\\
    am so happy to have my real friends, my brother, family, et al., baz, and the lemonheads, etc;.. i mean, get real… i have to live. and its really hard right now. you don't even know. as for painting, look at jacob himes' site, he can paint a fine landscape! or water. let go of the eyes for awhile, sk, tho your artwork is excellent.. you may wanna rework nk, too.. ;(

    yep, i know all about gd & the gutter twins. he is from cincy.

    p.s. dudes of neptune fucking rock@!!! sorry, but ya gotta give credit where credit is due.. and you never even acknowledge andy, or alot of people, sk. wake up! its a give and take world, i can honestly say its a good way to operate, tho i don't see it much, on here..
    p.s. the walkmen get album of the year. and pain killer is a close second…. or third.. actually give boston spaceships a listen, they are awesome, for their debut of brown submarine. and what do you know, they are from OHIO

    sorry folks. but look outside your doors.

    get the church together, sk. thats the best!

    now you can all curse me. but i don't care… i am not mad, except literally, and my real friends can relate.

    laterz/happy holidaze

  13. avatar
    knot | 12 December 2008 at 7:41 am #

    rsvp rip

    thanks eekie

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 8:04 am #

    Hey Kat, you have a bad attitude but you can eat my chicken any time.

  15. avatar
    kat | 12 December 2008 at 8:43 am #

    nope, i have the right attitude. fuck all the pretentiousness, & you don't know me, i really don't care if anyone here knows me.

    i fit in other places. not here, sorry.

    yes i eat chicken. oh my, just another reason not to fit into this fuck all world here,

    good bye@@@@@@@ good luck to all!!!!

    p.s. i love you mark k, evan d, andy l, and eddie v. pj owns@

    merry xmas@ no reply@!

  16. avatar
    ticktockclarice | 12 December 2008 at 12:08 pm #

    Rest In Peace, faithful Tibor,
    Hey, maybe there’s a way you can celebrate Tibor’s memory AND dig your way out of current financial woes. I think the timing is about right for another children’s show featuring a form of transport a la Thomas the Tank engine or Bob the Builder. How about Tibor the Faithful Ford??? Yes!! I can see it now. Tibor will have all kinds of great adventures with The Twillies, The Doodles and The Woofle (you’ll have to come up with their design but i’m sure Anon will come on board with the marketing. T-shirts! A big, dumb, catchy theme song! Maybe Ricky Gervais (aka Chubby Kilbey, that’s hysterical!) as the voice of The Fat Toll-Booth Operator. Oh yes, i see it all. Episode 3 – will Tibor get the special “inspiration” cookies to the concert on time or will the Evil Rocker Drug Ants thwart him? Stay tuned…
    OR you could just put out a Jack Frost DVD, that might be easier, lol. I would buy it for your maniacal cackle alone. You have the most wicked pair of eyebrows this side of Jack Nicholson.
    Thanks Seoigh, today because of you i discovered Baudelaire (i’d heard of him of course but never read any of his stuff) That’s what i LOVE about this site. You get introduced to all this cool, artistic stuff and get to interact (kind of) with someone you’ve idolized for years and his like-minded followers. The internet is fucking fantastic. I never had anything like this as a teenager. I’m still pissed that i didn’t get to meet Morten Harket from A-ha at the airport in ’87 coz i had a history exam (i still think i made the wrong choice). Now i get to comment on a blog that Steve Kilbey actually reads!! (well, probably not mine coz they’re too damn long, ha ha)
    Anyway, have a great weekend people. Don’t let the silly season get ya down.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 1:18 pm #

    jack frost dvd yes
    esoteric music club???
    what happeneed to that?
    did the bee-gees get in the way

    r.

  18. avatar
    ticktockclarice | 12 December 2008 at 2:41 pm #

    God, just saw The Cure on Leno, performing The Perfect Boy. Robert Smith has definitely become Le Grande Splodge. And the bass player looks like Flacco (guess that’ll only be appreciated by the Australian segment) And i’m sure the music was Church/Kilbey/JF derivative. I think it was Providence. Help me out, Seoigh, you have a photographic Kilbey memory.

  19. avatar
    matthew | 12 December 2008 at 3:25 pm #

    Oh, I have SO much to say, but mercifully… I understand self-censorship. Best, SK.

  20. avatar
    subcultureofone | 12 December 2008 at 3:28 pm #

    here’s another vote for the jack frost dvd

  21. avatar
    eek | 12 December 2008 at 4:41 pm #

    Poor Tibor. πŸ™ Reading that made me sad. Earlier this year my ratty little gerbil car died and it got towed away for the final time. I know it was only a car, but it made me strangely sad all the same. I didn’t actually watch it getting towed away because I knew I’d cry. I couldn’t help but sing a bit of “Long May You Run” that day.

    And speaking of the final tow, I’m taking one of my cats in to the vet today to be put to sleep. I’ve had Mitzi for 20 years — she’s been with me for the vast majority of my Church obsession — but she’s no longer enjoying her life. She’s just a little cat (and often a cranky one at that — kind of like her owner πŸ˜‰ ), but I’ll miss her.

    i’m laughing and cackling like a fiend from hell

    Threatening to make into a dvd?? You damned well better make it into one. This sounds priceless!

    my sea will do
    my sea will be just fine

    I’m pleased you succeeded with it…I was pretty sure you’d work it out. I have to admit I find it comforting that you also have these sticking points, and inspirational that you are able to work out a solution. Makes me feel not so alone having issues with my own work, and also makes me realise I can work through my blocks.

    Subcultureofone!!! Hi!! Long time, no see! πŸ™‚

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 4:50 pm #

    Oh you are so funny ticktockclarice. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…what a laff! Jesus, what a fucking snob you are. Gee, let’s poke some more fun at people’s appearances. Yes, hey, let’s pick on fat people. Steve will aprove, he hates fat people. Yeah, that’ll make me look good! Pant, pant, pant.

    Pathetic.

    Almost as pathetic as the amount of money Half Price Books offered me when I tried to sell them my Church/Kilbey CDs. “Um, I can give you $2 for the one with Milky Way on it, the rest I can’t sell.”

    So, they made their way to bottom of the my dumpster where ironically they landed by little bags of doggie poo.

    Matthew nobody wants to hear what you have to say SO thanks for not sharing.

    Kat, you were dead on. This blog, and the rest of it, have become quite a bore.

  23. avatar
    seoigh | 12 December 2008 at 5:11 pm #

    So what?

  24. avatar
    William | 12 December 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    Ok you should *definitely* find a way to put out the Jack Frost footage. Maybe a teaser on youtube?

    Condolences on Tibor. I’ve sent one of mine away (The White Bitch) on that damn truck. Sadness.

    -william

  25. avatar
    jax | 12 December 2008 at 6:20 pm #

    hey Anon 3;50 you are inept- a dweeb and a scumke.. jus look.. don’t sell to winos:
    http://cgi.ebay.com/Import-KILBEY-STEVE-FREAKY-CONCLUSIONS-CD-NEW_W0QQitemZ130273177705
    .
    http://cgi.ebay.com/THE-CHURCH-D-SSELDOR-SEANCE-BONUS-C-CD-BOXSET-NEW_W0QQitemZ290278029389

  26. avatar
    John | 12 December 2008 at 6:24 pm #

    I went to Eek’s house one day to pick up a print, the print of Rimbaud. I gave it to my brother as a bday gift along with a gift card for a store to do the framing.

    His basement is redone. I went there in Chicago to visit a few months ago. He grabbed his niece, my little daughter, and walked her all around the room. He stopped at the print of Rimbaud and asked his little niece, not 6 months old yet, “do you like Steve Kilbey’s artwork?”

    I sat at the basement bar, brand new. Stocked with drinks and drinks, I looked on as my brother carried this tiny human around the room, talking to her, taking in SK’s print of Rimbaud. Everything felt good. Everything felt fine. It was one of those “everything is going to be fine” moments.

    Can’t say the same for now. Ohio’s economy is shit. My wife’s job may be on the chopping block. If only SK could paint realistic looking currency and hand out free samples.

    John Garratt

  27. avatar
    verdelay | 12 December 2008 at 6:39 pm #

    Monsieur Garratt

    Beautiful!

    Art LIVES!

    Should have bought the original. Perhaps I could get the SKK to paint me a Verlaine? He was an ugly man (in many ways) but his words…l’ecrit vraiment de l’Γ’me !

    v

  28. avatar
    Shawn El | 12 December 2008 at 6:51 pm #

    Awesome…sounds neat. Maybe one thing you could do for content would be to add voice-overs, explaining background and context of stuff. Or get other people from that scene to chime in stuff too? Just an idea.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 7:07 pm #

    dear anon-dear petty anon at 3 whatever you were…it seems that your judgement of secon hand dealers is on par with your aptitude for class,n discretion.{as proven by the dog poop in your own dumpster-silly place to go to the toilet,my friend}a second hand dealer’s occupation,is to see a fool coming,n offer them the lowest price,for tgo,

  30. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 12 December 2008 at 7:11 pm #

    If SK has reverence for Tibor there’s hope for Mynah birds. If the first four songs on Painkiller were an EP it would be the ultimate EP.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 8:06 pm #

    Hey Brien, if you stop listening after the first four songs you are missing out my man.

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    Oh yeah, like he’s missing that epic closer with its 15 minutes of bubbles, whales, and rain. WTF?

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 8:37 pm #

    funny…i got pk last night, and was doing some doodling sketches in my studio which overlooks a valley…it was raining, fog and low clouds were drifting across the top of the hills, and the end track was completely mind blowing to me….each to their own!

    marc

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 9:29 pm #

    Everytime I listen to PK i get a little something new and different out of it. Yesterday the whales told me to kill my wife so I listened again today and it wasn’t there so must have been my imagination.

  35. avatar
    seoigh | 12 December 2008 at 9:34 pm #

    Weird. The whales tell me to kill your wife, too.

  36. avatar
    steve kilbey | 12 December 2008 at 9:45 pm #

    the whales are your wives, you fools!

  37. avatar
    seoigh | 12 December 2008 at 9:52 pm #

    that would explain this remora fish on my back…

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 December 2008 at 11:09 pm #

    sk,
    excellent video on youtube.com of images of london. you should be in films

    r.


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