posted on May 14, 2008 at 8:58 pm

a thick thick fog has silenced sydney
on the top floor of a small house
surrounded by whiteness
surrounded by gentle quiet
i open up my mind and let it run free
i dreamt for a thousand years
who am i?
oh so many oh so many
like us all
enfolded encoded
the years like a coil
i am accessing something deep and submerged
something like a land
something where all senses are one
yes there is that place
the disciplines bleed into each other
oh i am only learning
learning so fast
racing the ominous second hand
as it traverses its monotonous loop
the songs write themselves
the paintings paint themselves
the words lay down on this page before my eyes
still the fog increases
pressing down on the marine city
swooping out of nowhere
sounds muffled in its white darkness
the flowers in the garden glow through it
like many incandescent points
machinery vaguely hums
a door slams somewhere
a car accelerates and another breaks
recognizing universal forms now
certain lines certain progressions
of course no real artist can enjoy their own work
impatience and familiarity
my brush glides
my eyes observe
my mind calculates
my mind has to know when to intervene
when to let things flow
the process is like a snowball effect
the tiniest idea will cause a landslide if its true
you can never run out of ideas
even if you live to 54
even if you like me
can enjoy this journey into the future
improve!
that must be my imperative
i must improve
i will improve
i am improving
this is not just my affirmation
i work so hard to improve
ah just like everything
the results for me are slow
but sometimes i’m a tortoise splitting hares
sometimes im the last one to understand
but when i do
i can do so much with so little
a little is all you need
my gifts were never the way i wanted them
my face and hair neither
i was put down in the wrong place
my past lives didnt understand me
something still makes me behave erratically
what are the forces pushing me around
again, the mind must know when to intervene
dont get in the way of magic
but dont let fiascos long endure either
be friendly but beware
the fools think there is no magic left
but its there on every minute level
the fog seems to be losing its grip
the city pops up here and there
the harbour bridge still hidden in the distance
sydney oh such a beautiful city
with its waters and its cliffs
its views its oceans its clouds its blue may skies
stockholm too …it must be getting pretty there now
elektra and miranda leaving in 2 weeks
we look at each other with a certain resigned sadness now
the feeling of temporariness
i know we will hardly ever speak when they return
turning seventeen in the warm skandic summer
oh the long days
oh the beautiful scents drifting in the country air
lovely blessed sweden never far from my thoughts
my little flat in bastugatan
waking up in the long dark nights of snow
alone in my loft bed before i met natalie
sweden all around me
i wanted to be swedish but i never could be
i never could be anything i wanted to be
i could only be the things i stumbled into
im not even a proper australian
when i get yabbering im usually too much for most aussies
englishmen rightly treat me with suspicion
my freckles my drawl my laconic laziness betrays me
i could pretend to be american but why?
they like me better the way i am….luckily
i have realized something lately
i am not everyones cup of tea
socially musically whatever
i rang up mem the other day
out of the blue
can you believe this guy answers the phone:
killer?
see
the web is tightening
anyway i liked talking to him
he was on my wavelength
but uh
its funny what is it that makes some aussies uncomfortable
i was on the bus with my kids
and i’m talking to em
you know my usual tripe
people all slack jawed around me
listen to the long words he uses to his kids
ok i think
if i’m so smart howcome i’m riding on a bus?
the more i appeal for riches and wealth
the goddess of fortune smiles and waves her head….no!
you have to be unconcerned
you have to be detached
life and maya and the family
a minefield
an obstacle course to negotiate
i love my children
but i love my work
which will i attend
when all children need you
or all children ignore your advice
trying to be the best painter and best father
my kids are incessantly drawing and colouring
they chew through the paper like demons
sorry about all that paper though i guess
see …eveything is verily a dilemma
many hands make light work
too many crooks spoil the brothel
ha ha
i just made that up
see…
the fog is dissolving in sunlight
the childs wake up
the baby will soon be stomping around
looking wild and disheveled
aurora with her wide bunny face
eve all warm sleepy and husky voiced
the dismal sounds of incessant construction reappear
but the sky is the most royal blue
and the sun is yellow
and now it 8 oclock
the real day begins

32 Responses to “fog”

  1. avatar
    knot | 14 May 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    thank you for the fog

  2. avatar
    princey | 14 May 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    I had a feeling something beautiful was going to appear here this morning when I woke up, it’s even looking like a gorgeous, sunny day in Melbourne today, so there you go! This is what gets me up in the mornings.

    Well it’s 8.30am, back to reality and a walk to the noise and chaos of kindergarten.

    Much love to you sk,
    Amanda

  3. avatar
    the dean | 14 May 2008 at 10:52 pm #

    no artist enjoys their work, no musician wants to hear their recordings. they just see and hear the detail, the little glitches, the bits fudged and the limits imposed by having to get it completed. The act of creating is it, whether painful, confusing or otherwise.
    the engine needs to be fueled and refueled by something totally outside oneself.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2008 at 11:30 pm #

    beautiful imagery to start the day…off to a meeting now…talk about dilemmas…

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 May 2008 at 1:30 am #

    Noice!! xo :-)…sweet,sad,n foggy,but noice .

  6. avatar
    linjo | 15 May 2008 at 2:34 am #

    and thats the sum of what makes you such a unique human, not perfect. who wants to be everyone’s cuppa? Feel very sad for you that the girls are going. can only imagine your emotions.
    friendly but beware, my motto!
    On an even heavier note, I have put on 2 kilos, fuck, major crisis! pft who cares. wanna perfect body, wanna perfect soul says thom. I’ll settle for ok on both accounts. major fog hear too yest morn. peaceful day to you Steve x Linda

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 May 2008 at 2:40 am #

    Greetings to Time Being for allowing me to comment on your wise stories.
    Glad u went to Skin Cancer Clinic, like u I went through the sunburt thing when I was young, luckily times have changed and we’re aware of the danger. It is a relief to get peace of mind nothing is wrong, a definite yearly visit worth keeping.
    Though of u last week when I got devasting news a friend has a terminal illness. As I couldn’t comment at the time my thoughts were with you & JK. The scariest thing is that you don’t know what you may get in the future. It really is a lesson to live life the best you can, and to do the things you want to do while your health is good, and a reminder to us how precious the people closet to us are. Don’t know why these things seem to happen to the nicest people?
    Glad you are well, keep up the yearly visits to skin cancer clinic (or as soon as you notice anything).
    On a brigher note, hoping that if the Church are touring os in Autumn that we may see you in Spring, unless I have heard wrong.
    Peace & Love,
    Therese

  8. avatar
    knot | 15 May 2008 at 4:19 am #

    lookie
    wrote a poem

    a star can be medicine
    kissed by remorse
    its gravity no accident
    born of necessity, compression, force

    for if I am ill
    the far flung light cures
    in the medium of exchange
    the elements endure

    a constellation hangs far to the west
    it has wings, yet wont fly
    white constellation now at rest
    cold horizon pegasi

    but what I thought
    a far suns flame
    is instead lights from an airplane

  9. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 15 May 2008 at 5:57 am #

    encore encore…
    mjnjr

  10. avatar
    sleepmonk | 15 May 2008 at 6:02 am #

    The Fog was full of ether…

    Robert
    sleepmonk

  11. avatar
    daydreamer | 15 May 2008 at 6:34 am #

    Good morning, Steven!

    and good night….

    love,
    Sandy

  12. avatar
    Senseless Happy/ Vinesway/ Christian S. Martin | 15 May 2008 at 6:50 am #

    SK:

    Bee on dee look out for an emale from dee eek concerning something sensless…. and happy….

    remember North Carolina?… Borrowed gear?…A Bass that sounded more like a “BASS” (the fish)….???

    or poss. “Cousin/ Angel” performed by “Vinesway”..?

    i humbly partition thee, o captain my captain…..

    P.S. [insert appropiate ego stroking dialogue here..]

    BTW, MITCH E. says: “HIGH”…

    Ta!

    Christian Scott Martin

  13. avatar
    A.M. Polydora | 15 May 2008 at 8:24 am #

    It is 3am here. The rain, an itch, and contemplative thoughts about intimacy and its relationship to creativity and sustenance poked me awake.

    Too much thinkin’ to get back to bed so up I scamper to the ‘puter, maybe to type out my thoughts, maybe not. Instead, I find your blog. Precious blog. Beautiful blog on this sleepless, wet eve, where dreams toss and turn and neurons rain fire.

    I drift up to through the floors, rising through my own thick fog, read your post, and for the first time in days my soul feels nourished.

    Thanks.

  14. avatar
    Lebrinho | 15 May 2008 at 10:33 am #

    “You can never run out of ideas”.
    That’s the only magic, and it’s enough.
    We can follow William Blake.

    Sweden is sweet – just remove the monarchy and it’s five star.

  15. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 15 May 2008 at 11:12 am #

    hell, it’s sad that elektra and miranda have to go back…bugger…
    this morning here was cool, clear and dewy…sometimes in the mornings i look towards wollumbin and the big caldera that’s behind it and i see a huge bank of fog/cloud cascading down the granite cliffs to the ground below like a massive silent waterfall…stunning…
    love always…

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 May 2008 at 12:13 pm #

    Too many crooks spoil the brothel — hey, that’s a good one! Thanks for the poetry.

  17. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 15 May 2008 at 12:48 pm #

    My girlfriend’s swedish. But she’s made it very clear I’d make a lousy swede. ‘Cause even though I understand every word, she says my pronunciation makes her skin crawl. She’s specifically told me to stick to danish. Which I do. Unless I want to annoy her…he he!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 May 2008 at 1:17 pm #

    the prevelance of relevant providence,n precipitation precedes the procession oh prowly one richard.;-) 🙂

  19. avatar
    lian | 15 May 2008 at 1:24 pm #

    a foggy deep night.
    in an squirrel’s house.

    he had a visitor today – a little rabbit, lovely but obviously undernourished. She’s his ex GF.

    She took a big gulp of brandy, trying to calm herself but failed, and finally burst into tears. “Oh! he’s such a bastard! I cant believe it!… ”

    “so it happened again!” he thought, and sighed. But nothing he could think of to help. What he could do was just staring at the doodles on the wall that he left a few years ago, faded but still stubbornly remains there like some laughing faces. “Were they some pyramids…?” his thoughts draft away and he seemed has forgotten her existence. “Did I ever travel to Egypt?… Who am I? Am I really a squirrel? Or something else? Why I’m here? Why I was there?”

    “… and you still love me, don’t you?” all in a sudden, she grabbed his arm, and asked. All tearful, and shaking. Her fur was wet, clung to her body and made her looks even bonier. The scene somewhat touched his heart, “poor creature…,” he thought, “… but I’m an evil squirrel after all.”

    So came his answer. “You know you are a kindly kind girl….around you and in you. … but did I ever tell you tofu is good for your health (and brain)?”

    Still sobbing, she answered “Oh yes honey you did. … but what I want is only a carrot. ”
    ….
    The light turned dark. The squirrel felt sleepy and began to ponder.
    Suddenly he stood up and walked forward, to his audience, he asked, “she’s not bad, isn’t she?”

    (… here came “yes!~” , whistles, and “carrot”s!)

    … he turned again, gazing at the wall, to himself he murmured, “The thing is, she just never can understand what I’m saying… tofu… tofu is the solution! ”

    It began to rain again.
    Outside her car was getting wet.

    The end.

  20. avatar
    the universe | 15 May 2008 at 1:26 pm #

    Man, riches and wealth started to come to you and, well, ya fucked it up, dude. If they came again, ya know y’d be the same again in next to no time. The Killa, he ain’t cut out for material wealth. Sad but true.

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 May 2008 at 1:32 pm #

    Good point from The Dean: Steve, are there any of your recordings you can listen to without thinking ‘that was the day Ploog had the shits’ or ‘fucking 5th take and still not right’, etc?

  22. avatar
    restaurant mark | 15 May 2008 at 1:44 pm #

    hello steve, everyone…normally my absence means i was out of town
    working. this time was different…this past sunday morning my wife
    woke me up at 5:45 a.m. to ask, what’s that sound? i lifted up in a
    haze and in a second realized it was tornado sirens going in the
    distance…immediately followed by ones really close. we had time to
    turn on the tv to see that there was not one, but two tornados in my
    nice, pretty, historic southern town. a few minutes later the
    electricity went off…you know, right when you need to be paying
    attention to the weather, of course! so we all huddled in the
    hallway…away from the windows…and rode it out. 45 minutes later it
    was over. we just got the power back last night. so we’ve been camping
    out in our own home for the last 4 days. we were the lucky ones…we
    had golf ball sized hail and trees down around us…had to throw away
    200 dollars worth of groceries in the fridge that spoiled, but still
    lucky. just two minutes away south of us and from west side to the east
    side, areas look like a bomb went off. houses, stores heavily
    damaged…and if you’ve ever been to georgia, we have an abundance of
    trees…not as many here now. one of the colleges alone had about 200
    giant pine trees chopped off about ten feet up. probably 40 thousand
    still without power. and of course the poorest parts were hit the
    hardest. but enough of my news and weather report…so…anyway, had a
    little reading to catch up on today. happy your skin is fine…just
    freckles. sorry your daughters will be leaving soon…enjoy your time
    with them. and i see you’ve had a good number of generous
    subscribers…i long to be one of those…oh to have my money go where
    i want! what a concept! but for now, as it’s been for some time…i
    have to remain a loyal and appreciating free loader…with a pending
    payment.
    thanks steve…take care everyone.

    mark

  23. avatar
    restaurant mark | 15 May 2008 at 3:45 pm #

    not sure why my comment looks like that…not how i wrote it??? computers…

  24. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 15 May 2008 at 4:24 pm #

    Restaurant Mark:

    Sorry to hear about your grivous and harrowing experiences. The weather in America is truly frightful and even lethal.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 May 2008 at 4:35 pm #

    ..Your editor adds an invisible ^P tag that works like pressing enter. Use some non-microsoft text editor if you type blog stuff down elsewhere.

    The freeware below has a “strip HTML tags” option to clean these up. On the other hand, it doesn’t make them in the first place.

    The panels may seem cluttered but you can strip it down from “view” options.

    http://www.notetab.com/index.php

  26. avatar
    davem | 15 May 2008 at 6:26 pm #

    Sorry to hear about your probs Mark. SK – it doesn’t seem two minutes since you were telling us how much you were looking forward to your year with the girls. I hope it’s been a great one. Thinking of you.
    I always admire your determination to make space in your life to think and explore despite how busy you are. You make me feel so shallow. You’re always an inspiration.
    xx
    BTW HoB playing in the kitchen here. I know it was a bad time for you Steve but crikey you made a brilliant record!!!!
    I love you very much sir.

  27. avatar
    restaurant mark | 15 May 2008 at 7:40 pm #

    thanks brien and davem…such good people here.
    can’t wait to hear painkiller davem…i’m jealous!!!

  28. avatar
    davem | 15 May 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    I know, but Matt deserves the preview for all the work he did on the dvd. We’ll get to hear it soon!! I love getting the new stuff when it’s released, as a fan you can’t beat seeing the artwork for the first time and reading the sleevenotes as the initial sounds emerge!! Block, Aura, Destination, Myrrh…anyone?
    xx

  29. avatar
    knot | 15 May 2008 at 9:05 pm #

    Lian-

    The thing with squirrels is that ultimately they are just rats with fancy tails.

  30. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 15 May 2008 at 9:30 pm #

    I’m not jeolous of Davem getting to hear Painkiller before I do. I will simply fly to England and make certain that David Cameron is the new Prime Minister (just to get even with Davem and Steven).

  31. avatar
    lian | 15 May 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    oh really? I never think about that. If they are rats, then they must be lovely rats with beautiful eyes who live on pine trees and only breath clear fresh air.
    ultimately they are different, like cats and lions.

    my daughter love squirrels in a super level.

  32. avatar
    davem | 16 May 2008 at 6:28 am #

    I haven’t heard painkiller!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Matt.


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