posted on May 5, 2008 at 9:39 pm

terrible dreams of airports
terrible dreams of saying goodbye n feeling like ive gone mad
restless toss n turn over
terrible dreams of squeezing through tiny holes
and runnin’ from the cops
dreams of time stretched out like a painful ribbon
dreams of crying and missing and impossibility
the killer awakes in a cold grey day on the otherside of Mirror
killers skin dry n cracked like a snake
he howls low and long on the frosty stairs
he prevaricates too much
all the instruments cannot be tuned
all music is discordant on otherside of Mirror
where nightfriends live
unending tasks never fulfilled
unending journeys never taken
cos time runs sideways like crabs
the ocean shrinks from the moon
the moon is seldom seen except on todays
the moon has a gruff voice
the moon with its favourites
the moon with its awful fetishes
the moon with its affected limp
the moon who laughs like a fop
i float uncontrolled towards othersides neptune parade
the shops are all open but the hearts are all closed
the otherside of Mirror has a special on flukes
but i buy a hoax ticket and a packet of paradox lights
the customers have eyes in their hands
the emporium takes you in by osmosis
you buy some products you’ll never use
handing over black money and silver bones
police are everywhere in anterior positions
someone monitors your memories
hidden before your nose in obvious secret
the killer smashes away at the light
he’s trapped in the morning as if in amber
he struggles in spirit mind and body
he’s persecuted like saint dog
the aliens arrive from outer myspace
hounding fiending demanding something unavailable
dont eat me screams our killer
but who would be listening?
the window shoppers seem glassy
the rubber salesman slumps deflated
the sex shop man smiles stiffly
surrounded by wankers reads his t shirt
surrounded by idiots reads the teachers t shirt
surrounded by the stars reads the jailers
surrounded by love reads the terrorists with his 4wds n wmds
surrounded with pain reads the ladies of the night
surround surround surround me reads grant me a favour
killer youve gone mad screams davem whos appeared
he’s been drawn away from his peaceful drawing room dreams
where he listens to ecnaes and loops from inglish evenings
crickets chirrup like sped up 12 str guitars
and owls call in low baritones
from his comfy chair davem feels the killer going under
a tingling vibration permeates davems body
the hairs on his neck stand on ending
blimey he says to mrs m serving the tea
this could be the big one
she gazes in amazement as he slowly dee-materializes
on the otherside of Mirror killer is up to his ego in “straights”
going down slow in an endless swamp of forms and red tape
the taxman holds his head under
the landlady drowns him in rent
the critics lambast him in bile
the carnivores dribble dripping and drip dribble
davem tries to savour the killer
but they stripped the meanings outta his words
they torn the melody outta his songs
back in ingland his wife pumps up the painkiller
davem takes a big hit of it
mainlined into his mainframe and maintained by his mainman
the strains of file under travel emanate from his id-pod
its no use he screams into the inferno
this whole place is breaking up
yes
shiver me timberlakes
the earth itself trembles
the sky recoils
by god …i’m completely immune to pain mutters davem
he wades into the maelstrom
he sees killer going under for the last time
killers face is frozen against the icy waters of oblivion
a long way from the pale young man of 1982
the killers face was lined and tanned and gaunt
his wispy thin hair plastered against his scalp
the years of hard living had sculpted the face with planes n angles
help me he whispered
davem knew what he must do
linked telepathically with his wife back in the real ingland
she had rigged up the output from 1000 id-pods
all playing painkiller at once
the first track outbound restarted
i am iam i am moaned the killer one thousand fold
white hippy moses like an aphid in the roses
muttered davem under his breath syncing up
the force was with him
a thousand basses throbbed in his ventricles
the killers deep resonant voice vibrated throughout his nadis
he plunged in
he wrestled killers demons down
he defeeted the “straights” with veggie sausages
he saw off the taxman with a blast of v.a.t.
thatll teach the bastard he muttered grimly
he dragged the killer out of the marsh
the quicksand of his life
the quick n the deadsand
was he too late?
the killer was barely breathing
davem cradled the noble shapely head
all the painkiller in the world couldnt help
the painkiller…it doesnt work on me…killer gasped
his life was receding in tiny stabs of mellotron playing f major 7th
his life past be four him
his life leading up to now
summon the thousand true fans he seemed to be saying
wasting no time
davem took the sacred microphone from its ornamental box
it was the microphone that killer had used at the venue in 1982
a veritable holy grail among true fans it had never before been tested
do it do it do it kilbeys voice was barely a croak
davem put the microphone to his lips
sing unguarded moment… killer instructed from beyond deaths doorknocker
davem coughed
he calmed himself down
test one two three he said
never mind all that squeaked the killer almost gone
davem focussed
ahem…ok…its so hard finding…
instantly the 1000 true fans of the killer appeared
clutching hundred dollar bills
and paypal receipts
quickly quickly
this is his bank account here said davem indicating a hole in the ground
as each bit of filthy lucre hit the spot
the killers colour returned
eventually he was helped to his feet
and performed an impromptu concert
featuring such favourites as “tormented faucet”
” creosote”
and
“wobble gun boogie”
and even the evergreen ” loada olde tripe”
now practically a jingle in mitrys general store nth bondi….
surrounded by his thousand true fans
killer was cushioned from harsh economic necessity
he basked in their loving glow
he conferred a meddle on davem
for services above n beyond the call of judy it said
then the killer allowed himself a chuckle
life was alright
everything was back to norbal

25 Responses to “free games for may….see killer play”

  1. avatar
    Ross B | 6 May 2008 at 3:37 am #

    go the veggie sausages!!!

  2. avatar
    linjo | 6 May 2008 at 4:24 am #

    i cant stop laughing here lol lool
    Oh ya davem

  3. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 6 May 2008 at 5:05 am #

    God Bless Davem, a great person!!!

  4. avatar
    davem | 6 May 2008 at 6:31 am #

    I’m in shock.
    But it’s a SK rallying call to the troops…get yer veggie sausages and $100 out for THE KILLER!! And that microphone isn’t for sale…………….
    xx

  5. avatar
    fantasticandy | 6 May 2008 at 6:51 am #

    dave yer an archytype!!!!!!!!!

    print ‘n frame?……

    lovely killer…
    got my day off to a great start!
    all the best,
    andy L.

  6. avatar
    princey | 6 May 2008 at 7:11 am #

    Haha, good try sk, but I want more sk in the flesh before I send my cashola!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Wow davem!!!, how dies it feel to be featured in our hero’s blogge, well done, ya must be chuffed!!

    Thanks for a good giggle today sk!
    Amanda

  7. avatar
    cloudburst.adrift | 6 May 2008 at 8:53 am #

    man saved by those who love him. brilliant. and bless davem’s meddle! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. avatar
    matt davison | 6 May 2008 at 9:49 am #

    white hippy moses like an aphid in the roses………

    “poor mangy panther the best day’s behind ya, hissing at the hunters who are trying to find ya”..

    I am I am I am…I am i am.

    Ohhhhh Ohh Ohh mmmmmm mmmmmm Iam I am I am i-amm.

    my god is that thing gonna blow you all away!!!!!!!!!!!!! It won’t ever get much better. Don’t over complete sk the un-mixed is very very close, too as good as it can be

    “Davem you are the manne” Sk forgot who I was… however the history is long and eventful between you guys I spose….

    davison

  9. avatar
    matt davison | 6 May 2008 at 9:54 am #

    ps davem- sorry I have not myspaced ya… yr a champion! I just don’t go there that often..

    cheers

    md

  10. avatar
    Lebrinho | 6 May 2008 at 10:01 am #

    Literal “resuscitation”..! Excellent irony : )

    We all are bought by “harsh economical necessity”, pistol on temple.

    Even “the Manual” gets hazy here:
    KLF: the Manual – how to have a number one the easy way (1988)
    “Firstly, you must be skint and on the dole. Anybody with a proper job or tied up with full time education will not have the time to devote to see it through. Being on the dole gives you a clearer perspective on how much of society is run. having no money sharpens the wits”.

    Later: “Either the artist will be destroyed in their attempt to prove to the world that there are other facets to their creativity or they succumb willingly and spend the rest of their lives as a travelling freak show, peddling a nostalgia for those now far off, carefree days. These are the lucky few. Most never have the chance of a repeat performance and slide ungracefully into years of unpaid tax, desperately delaying all attempts to come to terms with the only rational thing to do – get a nine to five job”.

    Rat race or poverty ? Plague or cholera ? We all have to find the balance somehow, have mercy.

    http://www.tomrobinson.com/resource/klf.htm
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Manual

  11. avatar
    lily was here | 6 May 2008 at 10:33 am #

    Normal? Yeah, right ๐Ÿ™‚

    Davem! One of the best bricks in the wall! You ok buddy? You might need a good lie down and a cuppa after all that. Some gingerbread for you!

    Thanks Killer, you made my day. I want one of those teacher t-shirts. The idiots arent who they think they are ๐Ÿ™‚

    xxx

  12. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 6 May 2008 at 12:03 pm #

    hell, you had me going there for a while, thinking, ‘whoah, pretty heavy shit happening here’ but talk about turning on a five-cent piece…you take the mickey so well, sir steve…
    first, super man…next, spider man…now, davem…do you wear your undies on the outside like the rest of these guys…
    happy 18th wedding anniversary, lily! hope you had a lovely and special day…
    love always…

  13. avatar
    davem | 6 May 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    Hi SK & all.
    What a day.
    It’s certainly going on my wall of Kilbey, Andymate!!
    Still drinking that cuppa Sue, ‘cos it’s overflowing.
    In all seriousness SK how can we progress this $100 thingy…

  14. avatar
    12str | 6 May 2008 at 1:28 pm #

    im stunned!!;)

  15. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 6 May 2008 at 2:28 pm #

    When David Cameron becomes Prime Minister within the next few years Davem can flee to Bondi. He can hang-out with SK and their kids can be friends.

    As I impatiently await Painkiller I just purchased the ideal narcotic namely Jeff Beck live with Eric Clapton at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz club in London.

    Brian May, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, Tony Iommi and Jon Bon Jovi were in attendance. I was still at work in downtown Chicago on November 29, 2007.

    Sk’s insane for not liking Gold Afternoon Fix. His vocals were refined and MWP played like Steve Howe.

  16. avatar
    lian | 6 May 2008 at 2:53 pm #

    Dear all my friends here,
    I’ve been reading ttb for a whole year. I reckon this blog is a very soul touching blog; and people around here are all very beautiful people.

    English is not my native language. I can’t listen, speak, read and write English properly. So I’m just wondering hereโ€ฆ is it the reason that I felt so, so sad when I was reading today’s blog? although I can also see it’s very funny?

    Dear friends, in our lives we sometimes have to avoid something(whatever they are) for some reasons. But this time please let us don’t avoid again. Let’s do something, and let’s make it happen! I believe you all know what I mean. Steve Kilbey, this man, our hero, he needs our help now.

    I hope an artist like him should never have to suffer from such a necessity. Itโ€™s our human beingโ€™s shame. He could be rich, if he sang what the majority like. But he never did. And he is still creating his own music, which we all like. He can also make his life better than now of course, if heโ€™s determined to give up what he is doing now. But is there anyone of us want to see that? His music is his life.

    Let us do it now. Let the fans club start. I would be very glad to have the honour to be one of you, my dear friends. You maybe have to work hard because you have children to raise, you maybe just send cards to your parents on their birthday cause you have to pay the rent. But your children and your parents will be proud of you, cause you are generous when you really should. And Iโ€™m very sure that we are doing something worthwhile.

    Dear friends, sisters and brothers, I live in Korea, I sincerely promise at here: anyone of you, if you are our club member, please come to my home to live if one day you visit Korea. You can find my mail at my blog. This promise is permanently valid as long as I live. (but not over 3 people once, please.)

    Let’s be beautiful when we can. Dont know how this could help Steve Kilbey but let’s try.

    I love you, people.

    (I’m currently not working now, but 100$ is something I can save from everywhere, Mr.Kilbey. please check you paypal.)

  17. avatar
    fantasticandy | 6 May 2008 at 4:52 pm #

    i just read an article on yahoo….
    there are 600 abortions a day in britain alone!

    what the hell is wrong with people?

    a rather distressed andy L.

  18. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 6 May 2008 at 6:41 pm #

    250,000 abortions a year in England. I detest abortions as much as I detest slaughterhouses, hunting, trapping, dogfighting and fishing. Thou Shall Not Kill.

    Andy:

    It’s even worse in America and my Democratic Party treats Pro-Life people like pariahs. The Republicans are allied with the slaughterhouses, hunters, trappers and wildlife habitat destroyers.

  19. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 6 May 2008 at 7:11 pm #

    nice to hear you sounding a bit chirpy again mr k

  20. avatar
    davem | 6 May 2008 at 7:14 pm #

    Beautiful stuff Lian.
    I’ll contact you via your blog.
    x

  21. avatar
    verdelay | 6 May 2008 at 9:00 pm #

    A whole lotta lucid scheming going on in this place and I’m just grasping at the smoke, trying soft not to wake up to any of it.

    Nevertheless, a tip o’the lid to the tiller who steers the ship, and the killer who jeers and quips…

  22. avatar
    lian | 6 May 2008 at 10:13 pm #

    I maybe look stupid but i’m sincere.

  23. avatar
    veleska1970 | 7 May 2008 at 12:59 am #

    davem saves the day!!! **cue superhero music**

    thanks for the chuckle. believe me, i needed it.

    lotza love….

  24. avatar
    veleska1970 | 7 May 2008 at 1:01 am #

    to lian:

    “I maybe look stupid but i’m sincere.”
    no, you don’t. you just see what the rest of here sees~~that steve and the church’s genius has gone unrecognized for the most part and it is shameful.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 May 2008 at 10:49 am #

    .


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