posted on December 28, 2009 at 7:13 am

in the big mixup
in the great jumble sail
in the whirling whorl of pixilated cosmos
in the secret displeasure
in the vulgar words of the flightless birds
in the starshine shone here but there gone
in the alien tampering like farmers seeding a crop
in the melting ice
in the extinguishment of flame at the core
in the airport at pompeii
in the garden in new south babylon
i’m dressed as a mortal
none would suspect my true nature
a poor man, yer honour
dressed in a poor soldiers clothes
i find meself wand’ring up this poem at a quarter to 3
you wouldnt believe this weather
whoever ever you are out there
this weather is too theatrical
this weather provided by special effects
this grey ocean a beautiful backdrop
painted by mikey angelo or carry vaggio
the droplets of rain are too tiny to really fall
they hang suspended in the matthew mark n luke warm air
yes jesus returns to the streets of capri
to the streets of key largo
to the streets of surfers paradise
to the streets of port au prince
to the mean streets of bondi beach
where the parrots n boys n cockroaches n dogs
n chicks n shops n sunburn n rich n pubs n
palms n sands n rain n rain n rain rain rain
yeah jesus is a surfer man
see him balance on that spade
see him ride his watery trail
see him effervescent in the streaming surf
see him hang ten n ten again
see him carve up the sea of galilee
him n judas smoke a joint n sharing thickshakes
they drive a falcon panel van painted blue void grey
oh him n judas man
they thick as thieves
dont get me wrong man
they surf the beaches up n down the phoenician coast
the beach of miracles
the shining sea of joy
christ what a golden boy
with their yellow hair like cotton wool and their ruddy skin
they look like blond red indians in black wet suits
yeah jesus is back in australia
where he belongs
he disappears at christmas to his weekender
someone captured it on super 8
we project it on the wall for free at this time of year
and for one night
all the old people are released from their age
and until midnight
they return to youth
they return to perfect health
and they grow up in some enchanting evened
never notice how the time slip by
never notice how the minutes grow short
more like brief seconds really
well thats it thanks n good night you say
pulling on a coat that feels like a hundred years
the palms sway in the tropics but not for you
the breeze dances down marine parade but not for you
the traffic hums n the lights change but not for you
in the sauna you all sit there sweating
when jesus walks in
you nudge and point rudely
but he sits obliviously meditating on the eternal lord vishnu
the preserver of all worlds
someone chucks some water mixed with eucalyptus oil on the sauna
even tho its against the rules
theres a big gush of hot steam it almost peels off our faces
jesus glances up from his deep meditation
thats against the rules he says
and closes his perfect eyes which are every colour n none
i watch his six pack move as he breathes in deep pranayama
i watch his lovely biceps flex as he inadvertently moves a little
outside the pool is turbid
with my pink glassed goggles i swam thru the coldish rainy seawater
i only managed nine laps
a terrible weakening hunger overtook me
a sudden boredom or lassitude of inexplicable nature
i saw a crab struggling on the bottom of the pool
i reached out to save it
why i thought my lungs would burst
i swim down down down
now this crab will bite you
i say to myself 2 fathoms down
as my ears start to hurt n my eyes start to bulge
this crab will bite you says my voice in my head
i dont care i says i will save it
i reach down n the crab nips my pink soft finger
fuck you i says you can drown then
i swim up hastily to the surface
fearing rapture of the deep overtaking me
and lest i walk neptunes halls with my mermaid bride
a miserable skellington in davy jones locker
but i pop up in bondi alright
its some other bondi perhaps or maybe
the grey sky has changed little
its a good copy of australia
but some details are missing
jesus looks up at me
i know what youre thinking he says
jehovah never made australia himself
he nicked the idea from some other god
jesus smiles and gestures to the cafes all quiet cos of the rain
he gestures to the rainy horizon n the white new guinea like clouds
he gestures to the dreaming spired penthouses with the rooftop pools
he gestures to the mr whippy van parked on the pavement
he gestures to the dogs fouling the boardwalk
he gestures to the starfish goofing off in the rockpools
he gestures to that vicious old crab now sadly drowning in the pool
he gestures to the shags drying their wings on a sign
he gestures to the australian flag hanging listlessly in the cloud
he gestures to the parking officers dishing out their lil tix of sorrow
he gestures to the second hand furniture place
he gestures to the fruit shops n all their divers melons
he gestures to the swiss grande and its overpriced rooms
he gestures to the 28th of december with its holiday torpor
he gestures to the queue at the ribs place in the square there
hey man says jesus the son of man
all of this bondi is yours n mine man
no one can ever take it away from you
even if your accountant tells you:
you cannot afford to live here
thou shalt dwell by the beach all of thy days
seagulls and sunscreen shall follow thee
and the pines and the palms and the lifesavers and ice creams
and summer will be merciful with its seabreezes
and winter shall find you warm
wrapped in a comforting fog
like today
and yes
we looked out at this miraculous version of bondi
one hour from the airport in bad traffic
only two main roads in
bondi jnctn mall is biggest in southern hemis fear
north bondi
south bondi
old bondi
nouveau bondi
bondi a la carte
mondo bondi
i come back to my silent room suddenly
a lonely birdie calls out in the distance
i must have been daydreaming
but there in my hand
a swimming cap with tiny tiny thorns
so it wasnt just a dream after all

16 Responses to “fusty luggs”

  1. avatar
    Big Smiles Kate | 28 December 2009 at 9:22 am #

    Jesus in Bondi – I love it! I was given a Clive Barker painting of Jesus for Christmas from my husband Craig (see ) Rasta style complete with dreads. I think you would like it too – check it out.
    Big Smiles,



  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 10:01 am #

    actions speak louder than words.-jejohnson

  3. avatar
    ross b | 28 December 2009 at 10:02 am #

    december ’09
    the good lord he’s a coming
    drifting around the foreshore
    but that christmas sun was crucifying
    we followed him for his goodness
    we followed him for his bread
    we hold and hang on to every word
    and the halo ‘round his head

    now the message he’s a-sending
    for the years that followed on
    reached the d.i.n.ks who sip on Neutral Bay
    to the jackknives of the throng
    but history had throned him
    hanging offa vine
    but now he’s down in old sydney town
    where the faith’s still going strong
    yeah…the faith’s still going strong!

  4. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 28 December 2009 at 10:24 am #

    bondi, an allegory for the cosmos….from pissed backpackers to jesus in his perfection…..

    love always……

    made it back from the red-neck bucolic splendour of my in-laws' place, through the flood water and back in the shadow of wollumbin…..

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 10:50 am #

    Is this where u live? Jesus digs that song– wishes it was played more live !

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 10:59 am #

    Is this where u live? Bondi !Jesus digs that song — wishes it was played more live!

  7. avatar
    cazziem | 28 December 2009 at 11:51 am #

    The weather is something most people talk about yet most miss the ‘special effects’. It tends to be discussed in terms of too hot/too cold, too wet/too dry; and rarely do people see the weather as the most wondrous natural orchestra it is. Along with this magnificent orchestra comes the world’s best choir know as birdsong; but sadly we rush around like the mad hatter from Alice in wonderland, which means we fail to see, hear and feel nature at it’s best.

    Loved the lines all the old people are released from their age, and until midnight they return to youth they return to perfect health. How brilliant that would be?

    The older I get the more philosophical I am at this time of year. Probably due to reflecting back on the last 12 month of what was then and is now, where I was and where I am, who was here but has now gone; and I reckon there are a lot of little crabs who need help, but die a lonely death because they don’t realise that sometimes (although not very often) there are a few of us who have no ulterior motive other than to want to help. The trick is to learn how to approach the crab, and then you both get something out of it. So, here’s a short story of my own to put it into a ttb perspective: –

    In a land far away there was a mind-blowing sea know as ttb that was colourful, inviting and where the waves could be ten feet tall some days, yet just a harmonious ripple on others. The creatures that swam in the sea didn’t really knew what the day would bring, but they never strayed far away for the ruler, known to many as SK, was sure to be there for them to lift their spirits and share his thoughts and dreams with them.

    From all around the world the creatures of the sea gathered here. There was no conflict between them, however as always, now and again the odd crabby, also know as Anon, would be caught up in the magical sea of ttb. But crabby by name and crabby by nature, so when the great SK allowed these particular species to enjoy the therapeutic waters of ttb, some of them would lash out and nip at SK because they couldn’t understand that he was only there for the good of others (as well as himself). At times SK would chastise these stupid crabbies, but sometimes the great ruler would know, that in the swelling sea of ttb everyone gets a little crabby now and then (lol), and so would ignore the nips and pinches thrust upon him.

    But the important message to the crabbies who may be thinking of swimming in ttb is that it’s no accident you are there! However remember that whilst you are trying to create waves of your own in the beautiful sea of ttb, the creatures that regularly bath in its clean, warm waters have a lot of respect for their ruler and come in various shapes and sizes. Therefore, chances are that whilst you are using all your energy trying to nip at SK, you won’t even notice the great white shark that swallows you whole then spits you out, because you are nothing but a hollow shell, and isn’t it trued that empty vessels make the loudest noises!!!

  8. avatar
    Dek | 28 December 2009 at 11:54 am #

    Aren't we so lucky to be privy to all that we find ourselves placed in!

  9. avatar
    Freddie | 28 December 2009 at 12:01 pm #

    Fun read today!

  10. avatar
    robertmadore | 28 December 2009 at 4:20 pm #

    Wow! Nice.

  11. avatar
    John Garratt | 28 December 2009 at 5:03 pm #

    Day in, day out, I keep hearing the same lyric in my head:

    "No one fucking cares about your broken heart."

  12. avatar
    Ellen | 28 December 2009 at 7:01 pm #

    "…thou shalt dwell by the beach all of thy days
    seagulls and sunscreen shall follow thee
    and the pines and the palms and the lifesavers and ice creams
    and summer will be merciful with its seabreezes
    and winter shall find you warm…"

    Gorgeous. sigh…

    Only you can speak of Jesus in such a way sans blasphemy.

  13. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 28 December 2009 at 7:49 pm #

    The time being is number 6 in blog ratings. Many hits like The Church deserved. SK can relate to many other types of hits too. Some euphoric and some hurtful.

    Bondi was once a bucolic and pastoral paradise replete with disparate nonhuman species safe and thriving in their ecosystems. It's now systematically being decimated by man the destroyer of the planet who should have been the benevolent steward of it.

    I love John Wesley !

  14. avatar
    Richard | 29 December 2009 at 12:33 am #

    not bad, from one seven sided animal to another

  15. avatar
    Jasperina | 29 December 2009 at 1:32 am #

    I do feel reassured to know you have witnessed this quiet gesturing you speak of. Its both funny and comforting at the same time. The magic of Bondi is there for those who have the gift of third eye vision.

  16. avatar
    Galamor the Wizard | 30 December 2009 at 11:01 am #

    I can hear the surfer inside you Steve! Go buy yourself a huge paisly mal, "and take some time, and learn how to…" surf. You will understand your music on yet another level and how perfect it is for engaging the ocean on a board that glides! You have the fitness from all that swimming and yoga. C'mon!!! Let the mermaids take you to the Sealine!!!!

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