kilbey
pumped up on yoga and qi gong
bush bud
ayurvedic aphrodisiacs (semegra forte)
his own pitta nature
by music and art
by a satisfied universe
by the ocean that holds him up
by certain stones
by the hands of a force that sculpts in living flesh
by the scriptures and the kama sutras
by images of the christ and naked women
by the mace
by the conch
by the disc
by the lotus
vishnus own things….
and his many memories
how he did this and avoided that
traffic jams and country lanes
winning an amplifier at cards
losing my head to smack
smacking me round the head
sigh of relief
gasp of horror
yawn of boredom
restlessness
plugging in that bass on a big stage
and the lights in my eyes
and the cymbals cutting right through my brain
everytime i pluck the e-string
the whole fucking theatre shudders
kicking em in the guts way down deep
visceral vibration
my own voice blasts in my ears
a distorted mess above the instruments
sweat
sweat pouring down my body
sweat from exertion
sweat from the heat of the lights
sweat from the glow as my anima assumes control
soaking wet and hoarse and blistered fingers
blasted by the lightshow
deafened by the screaming omnipresent guitars
the guitars which hang around and hang around
the kick drum kicks me on everybeat
the snare traps me
the ride rides me down
the crash crashes in my ears
the toms box my torso
my own bass comes a’running up through the floor
knocking me around
the audience gawking at me
what the fuck are you looking at?
my clothes are sticking to my skin
my eyes so full of salty sweat
the people
such a blur now its a joke
i wanna hammer the bastards with this fender bass
i wanna beat them into submission
i wanna elevate them
i wanna subjugate em
i wanna impress em
and
i really dont care if they like it or not
emotions rip through my mind like wild winds
i detach and think about the shopping list
what the hell does this all s’pose to mean?
what am i doing here?
if theres no god how come theres music?
music is divine, right?
do they think this all happened by accident?
chords and notes
volume and tempo
vibrato and tremelo
harmony and melody
intro and outro
ending and fade
muted and screaming
quiet and allowed
music of the spheres
music of the ancestors
music for love
music for courtesans waiting rooms
music for the sinking continents
underwater music
music made by the dead
spirit music oozing at a seance
dirty music disgusting music
music as played by the seraphim stoned on amnesia
rocknroll baby
elvis with his vicodin and his burgers and his babes
shaking his self around
sheer excess did in his vitality
too much too soon
too little too late
oh his pretty looks…
what happened?
taking care of business, baby
las vegas gomorrah in the desert, honey
hotel rooms and cocaine
guitars and slot machines
sax-o-phones
dealers and dealers
the boys
the good old boys
c’mon doc gimme a fuckin’ percodan
my lifes driving me wild
i learned some karate but i got no discipline
i got everything a man could ask for
but most of it should be refused
everybody adores me
but no one knows me
c’mon doc gimme a dilaudid for godssake
i invented this whole fucking thing, didnt i, doc
oh yes a script , my man
oh doc i cant thank ya enough
i’ll get the boys to getcha some tickets for the show
i’ll see they look after you and your wife
and have a good evening , sir….
later
he stands alone in the dawn
hotel balcony
black woman
white woman
sleep in the bed
he feels the end coming on
like a warm opiated dream
the rushing hurtling end
of all this ……pain
no more applause
no more reluctant quacks
no more peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches
no more uppers n downers n inbetweeners
no more agents n handlers
no more hair dye and diets
no more blow jobs or all night gigs
no more jack daniels and jimmy reed
no more
no more
and
soon
soon