posted on January 15, 2011 at 2:05 pm

gather round all you clowns

in the middle of the night we hit the streets in the car

the world is quiet so quiet

we cruise and cruise  the empty streets

we get to the place and wait

eventually he appears looking shifty

he jumps in the car

transaction is made

a bit of small talk n hes off n away

we go home

we take off our clothes and start to touch each other

we kiss for hours it seems

we walk about the house interacting

i heat up and i have a cold shower to cool down

but the cold water is still luke warm

you float about in some heavy lidded dream

i say come here

i say show me everything

i say tell me everything

i say give me everything

i sit back in the soft furniture in the warm soft remnant of night

dawn is coming again

rosy fingered dawn in the eastern sky

the clouds are spread thick on the night

we fool around languidly almost absent mindedly

whispering things we never will remember

oh well youre quite unashamed arent you

i ask you to look me in the eyes

but you keep averting your gaze

moving in and out of focus

but your hands are everywhere at once

setting things straight and putting things away

i have forgotten most of it

my mind contains a lovely space full of potential

everything is suspended in mid air

time moves like treacle oozing off a spoon

white sweet smoke

i sip some water my throat is so dry

you are  nicely compliant like youre just a part of my dream

do this i say

ok you say

do that i say

ok you say

voices on the street outside

the dawn birds begin to twitter in their feather lined nests

my head hits the pillow

my mind never turns off

i am living in the margins slipping through the cracks

i become even thinner than before

my face has taken on new hollows new lines new character

my eyes stare through my closed lids

i look into souls i look into darknesses

you seem to be asleep immediately

lying limbs akimbo your mouth open slightly

your spirit is out there in the ether now

you are inaccessible to me for a while

i just lie there waiting for blessed sleep

when it comes it comes deep n black like a void like a nothing

nothing really you could know

27 Responses to “glimpse of dream”

  1. avatar
    evilren | 15 January 2011 at 2:53 pm #

    Luffly. My head is now going to hit the pillow also.

  2. avatar
    Once | 15 January 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    OH. MY. GOD.

    No, really.

    I was there, and I know.



  3. avatar
    Once | 15 January 2011 at 3:56 pm #

    Ummm….off the record, Mr. Kilbey..I enjoy your musings…and you are indeed a hottie…I think you should seriously consider writing professionally! LOL!

    Have a hella great weekend…

    • avatar
      Andreas | 15 January 2011 at 9:07 pm #

      Hi Donna,
      funny indeed how we had the same inspiration… what about this new one? This one reminds me of Hotel Womb, can’t get it out of my head… how about you?

      • avatar
        Once | 16 January 2011 at 10:06 am #

        Hi Andreas! And viva Italia – some good football, there!

        I don’t know, mate…this post makes me think of Myrrh…of disillusionment…

        Privilege on privilege…an unwanted discovery…

  4. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 15 January 2011 at 4:49 pm #


    I read a poem the other day when you posted ‘still i’m sad’ and I wanted to share it with you. It is by an esteemed American poet: Alan Kaufman and can be found in ‘The Outlaw Bible Of American Poetry’.

    The Saddest man on Earth…

    ignored how the rain felt
    as he left home
    for the last time

    Wore down
    his boot heels
    searching for the woman
    of his dreams
    but never understood that life is a woman

    Lived in a town
    where sadness was illegal
    and where grinning
    cops ticketed his face
    so often
    that he lost his license
    to cry

    The saddest man
    on Earth
    tuned guitars
    but couldn’t play them
    cheated the IRS
    of his own refund
    fathered a child
    who thought she saw
    him in perfect strangers
    yet he didn’t recognize him
    face to face

    I met him once
    in a bar
    toasting the mirror
    with his stare
    He had come
    south to start
    life over

    He was a
    Mozart of silence


    Please take care of yourself, so many of us are watching over you from afar, wishing we were close enough to smile for you.

    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 15 January 2011 at 5:09 pm #

      I have begun, yet, another round of PT. The young lady was doing her best to help me with the unholy suffering that I endure each and every day with pain (I’m on my 8th visit with her). As she attempted to manipulate my lower back/spine into a position that ‘may help the damage to my left impending nerve root’ from my lumbar disability , I let out a cry of agony. The poor girl was shaking for the last 20 minutes and tried to ice down the area that she targeted, but unfortunately, it all went wrong- she twisted something that wasn’t meant to go in that direction. I am unable to walk now without a serious limp and can only bare some weight on my toes for the past few days, the pain is unbearable. I followed all the DR’s advice, off and on, for so many years now-I cannot remember a day without pain. I look at my children, especially my little angel, and wonder when will the day come that I can no longer lift her or play on the floor with her. She told me that ‘she’ is a Doctor and fix it for me…I smiled at her…as she grabbed a toy hammer and started swinging it at me, thinking that will help. And for a second, I thought to myself…this little person just doesn’t want to see me suffer anymore, with pain and emotional shutdown because of it. My point is, those wolfies of yours, or anyones children reading for that matter, will tell us or show us how anything can easily be fixed. Maybe we all would be better off listening to them, they…the little ones who have yet to be corrupted.

      Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Once | 16 January 2011 at 9:35 am #

      Hey Darrin… I really like this. Not Steve-level, but really good! 🙂

  5. avatar
    Heather daydream | 15 January 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    SK, if I may, as a salve to the depression and sadness seeping through these posts, maybe check out oblique strategies online; or, go do something you’ve never done before; or, go see something in 3D at Imax, or……write a new song, draw with Invisible Ink or lemon juice and then watch it reveal itself by your flame…..

    Hold on ….. Easy Come Easy Go

    big hugs, lots of love

  6. avatar
    andy | 15 January 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    to quote hammill:
    ‘these days i mainly just talk to plants and dogs,
    all human contact seems painful, risky, odd.’

    those little scars have become transucent again…..
    a telling sign perhaps?
    look after yourself spaceman kilbey.

  7. avatar
    Karen | 15 January 2011 at 8:40 pm #

    oh I popped in nibbling on my nuts & didnt expect this.

    sex & drugs …..never again
    havent for seven years & never again & how stupid I was & how I should have known better …
    Its funny it sounds so familiar why do so many peoples familiars sound familiar did I spell familiar correct? it doesnt look familiar

    I get a hollow horrible feeling in my stomach remembering my thing
    past is past & everyone remembers things in a different light I suppose

  8. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 15 January 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    who is we?
    who was this man in the car?
    what did he give you?
    I want some.

    Real or in a dream, sounds like you had a much better night than the one before, get some rest your kids will be home soon. I can only imagine how much you all miss each other. As for us your Night Friends coming through the monitor we are here with you always.


  9. avatar
    Mary MacK | 15 January 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    maybe this thing you lament is not going to happen
    is going to have to happen some other way

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 January 2011 at 2:47 am #

    Such a romantic – painted a bit black. Very appealing. That’s the reality anyway, isn’t it?

    My favorite line today – My eyes stare through my closed lids.

  11. avatar
    longtime listener | 16 January 2011 at 6:00 am #

    the images and moods you create with text are compelling. I feel the situation as I read. Was listening to Pema Chodron in the bath last night. Something about smiling at fear. Here we are today and at some point in the future it ends. How shall we surf? The waves certainly arent’t going away. Thanks for setting up this site & writing ~ longtime listener

  12. avatar
    hellbound heart | 16 January 2011 at 8:03 am #

    where we go when we sleep…..hmmmm…where indeed
    love always…….

  13. avatar
    Once | 16 January 2011 at 8:21 am #

    I have procured tickets to the San Francisco show, arranged my flights, and am going with my friend who lives there…Ena is from India, beautiful soul who helped me through some very bad times last summer. Can’t wait to have Phoenix in the rearview; it’s been a long time since I really looked forward to anything. Or been to a real city. Not to shred Phoenix (I tend to do that, yet hypocritically still live here); it’s a beautiful place, there is just something wrong with it. Hard to see without putting in the time. 10 years gone in a flash, though. Freaked myself out the other day thinking about death and not being a physical body anymore. It’s inevitable for us all, but I no longer think I’m gonna cheat it by getting it before it gets me.

    I want every second, every feeling, every experience.

    Every song.

  14. avatar
    princey | 16 January 2011 at 8:38 am #

    Hi sk, just caught up with your blogs……are you ok?????

    I obviously missed something while I was away, so sending you my love and hope you’ll get through all the pain and heartache somehow.

    Take care and love always,

  15. avatar
    david | 16 January 2011 at 9:12 am #

    oh well

  16. avatar
    Once | 16 January 2011 at 9:44 am #

    Speak to us, mate…if ya have a second…apparently, we are all worried about ya…

    See? You have people who care. Who depend on you to continue your awesomeness. Who look at you as a person first, and a rock stah later…

    That’s good, right???

  17. avatar
    . | 16 January 2011 at 11:15 am #

    smells of vanilla fill the room
    the residue of a lovely dream
    i feel refreshed as the mountain air
    awake and renewed like i was really there
    i wish they could last a lifetime
    maybe they really do
    me caught in this asylum
    half a millenia away

  18. avatar
    colette | 16 January 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    very sensuous oddly empty.
    The one with the smoking muzzle reminded me more of Hotel Womb, but mm, some slipping through the cracks here.

  19. avatar
    Ross Coopern kinda soul in a Black, Old World. | 16 January 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    Mr K,

    Have you ever checked out this lady..?:

    Pardon the WikPedias. But, anywho, it seems she was a right-out, right-on kinda soul in a particularly dark time of a Dark, Olde World. (and a poet, to boot).

  20. avatar
    Once | 17 January 2011 at 9:14 am #

    After speaking to (IM-ing, natch) Richard in Queensland, I am humbled by the scope of the disaster there…up till 4AM last night/this morning, and so had an opportunity for communication…I wandered through the kitchen, layed restlessly on the sofa, even looked thru my eyelids (thanks, SK, I get it now)…and Richard (God bless him, lovely bloke) was still cheery in the face of said disaster. Well, maybe not cheery, exactly, but – as opposed to what one might expect – positive and looking forward.

    I dreamed that there was a new cable connection, all the rage, that could be set to explode and destroy the world on a given date…of course, I was the agent in charge of disabling it…I had ’em outsmarted, plan in place…but it happened anyway. Weird accident, not even intended by the villains. Dove into a river and swam for my life.

    Is there a point to this? Yeah. S**t’s gonna happen…just be sure you’re on the right side when it does…

    Much love and prayers to those in Queensland…


  21. avatar
    sarah | 17 January 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Beautiful. Slow, sexy, dreamy..and kinda sad in a way…but I don’t know why. Either way its a beautiful poem…you make it so easy to go-there with you. You really have a way to bring everyone right into the room with you. You are a very talented magick word-man, steve. Its been a pleasure reading your works. Thanks for sharing them. xo.

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