posted on December 30, 2005 at 9:58 pm

good morning
my name is dennis ego-swyne
i now manage mr……
(whats that bastards name….suze..?)
oh yes
stephen kilby
i’ll be writing this blog this morning
seems kilby has been on here trying to be funny
well thats all over now
we will be using this blogsite
to tell you what what products this man
has available
and more importantly
how you can buy em….!
now i note this blog is free
we ll have to change all that
i guess if you all send your credit carde details
i’ll start processing your orders
i believe this fellow
has some great music out there
with some good catchy bits
and hummable lyrics
theres a new one with an….italian title
or something
oh suze says its spanish
and its got all their greatest hits
and we’d like to sell a few million
cos my wifes little merc is acting up
and i’d like to get her a lexus next year
also kilby and band
all need extensive makeovers
so they can appeal more to the kids in america
(wo -o)
have your credit card handy
and we ll send you
a free mr mister cd with every purchase
if youre in the uk
pay in pounds
if youre in new zealand
dont bother
this offer only goode
in mega prosperous countries
well thatss it
kilby himself wont be back till next year
he told me
to tell you
the triplets all say happy new whatever
that a great new inter active video
will be available in 06
produced by pam and perry m fizzeema
story of a runaway rocker
who swipes at “straights”
whilst climbing corporat ladder
finally revealed as hippy with heart
recommended for the whole family
(just make those little buggers
close their eyes during the violent and sexy stuff)
things are gonna shape up round here in 06
kilby got me in to make him a mega star idol
and quite frankly
its gonna be a long haul
(i think hes washed up myself)
but we signed him
and now we gonna market his ass off
dont just sit there
only a few hours left till next year
so order now
our experienced staff
are waiting to talk to you right now
see you in 0 six

36 Responses to “hippy gnu rear”

  1. avatar
    eek | 30 December 2005 at 10:36 pm #

    but…but…but…I don’t want an assless Kilbey. Or even an assless Kilby. It would just be too weird. So, please, leave his tush alone, I swear I’ll go order something. I really, really will.

    Of course I like to buy stuff so this just gives me a good excuse “But I’m not shopping because I want to — I’m saving Kilbey’s ass!” 🙂

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 December 2005 at 10:51 pm #

    Mr. Kornpornate Man – for you are to please leaving this guru man Kilbey alone, for so even if the children needing shoes for the coming school year you are for not be selling him without some soul. Leave out for to please the bubbly wrap, and for you are thanking me to include caring charisma. Find Kilbey agent man or woman so life can come to Miraz.
    Must run, Gualala is calling.
    Refugee 321

  3. avatar
    baby | 30 December 2005 at 11:44 pm #

    i take my payment,
    i catch my flight
    and don’t wait up for me tonight
    and you might find me there
    north, south east & west

    is best
    see you in the new year

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 12:40 am #

    no need for extensive makeovers
    mr ego-swyne
    we love stevie k and his mates “au natural”
    here in the us of a
    thank you very much

  5. avatar
    esskayer | 31 December 2005 at 12:48 am #

    Fuck this shit. 2005 sucked and 2006 will be worse. Another year closer to the grave. Only thing I’m looking forward to is ULTC, but it’ll probably be even worse than FY. Can’t use put aside all this tripe and just make “Heyday 2”? I spent my whole goddam salary at karmic HiT this past year, and all that stuff is just sitting on my shelves gathering dust. My credit card’s been maxed out at Church Merch. You’ve taken all I have, there’s nothing left, not even a bag of stems. I bought a lot of your paintings, but they’ve all melted under the hot lights, guess I’ll just have to buy the card versions now (at $4 a pop, it’s all I can afford now). So while you’re surfin’ and tokin’ and having a gay olde tyme at Bond Eye Beech with the hotties in their thongs with 38DD’s in 3-Dee splendor, I’ll be sittin’ here miserable as ever listening to Heyday for the bazillionth time (kinda sick of it at this point), lost among the endless sea of SUV driving, cell phone abusing, IPod listening, violent video game playing, hypnotized American DRONES (aka The Narnian Wolves)…If I can muster up any shred of energy next year to type, perhaps I’ll be back on yer blog next year. But if you keep writing lame posts like that previous one about things to do on New Year’s (sorry but it just wasn’t up to par for you Olde Steve), I may have to leave for good. You’d probably be happy as I’m upstaging you anyways with all my brilliantly wickedly funny comments. People aren’t coming to this blog for your comments, they can’t wait to see mine…(Un)Happy New Year–Sleepless in San Francisco (aka Esskayer)

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 1:29 am #

    Yeah, whatever mista’ Kilbey.

    I just recieved my SUPPOSED signed copy of ‘yer new POEM-FOLIO.

    And lookie here, NO SIGNAGE Of DE

    What kind of swindle you runnin’ here?

    Ah, probably too busy bloggin’ and deletin the Plebes.

    Thanks a lot.

    The writin’ is pretty good though.

    Oh, well off to deletion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Your Humble, yet disatisfied capitalist (who enjoys being entertained, yet berated and swindled by his hero.)

    happy new year! to you and yours!


  7. avatar
    RONIN | 31 December 2005 at 2:29 am #

    Hmmm, can’t wait for my Mr. Mister CD…

  8. avatar
    esskayer | 31 December 2005 at 3:19 am #

    P.S. I have all ten versions of Heyday. The LP. The first Aussie CD. The remastered cheapo US version. The second remastered version with lyrics. The third remastered version with bonus cee-dee of videos. A cheap Russian knockoff. The remaster of the remaster of the remaster…shit I’ve lost count…

  9. avatar
    Lee Anne DeVette | 31 December 2005 at 3:39 am #

    Dear Dennis,

    If things between you and Mr Kilby don’t work out, please let him know I was recently downsized from my job in publicity and I believe that with my background I’d be a good match for Mr Kilbey. Oh, could you also please ask him if he has ever visited the Scientology Center in Los Angeles?


    Lee Anne (aka Tom’s sis)

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 3:48 am #

    Happiest of New Years to my favorite human being-
    keep on being you!

    @esskayer: I’m not sure if your screed should go straight to DELETE, or be preserved for its remarkable idiocy. Maybe you should open your mind a bit so you can get beyond Heyday. And don’t do us any favours by sticking around.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 5:06 am #

    Hey there

    Happy New Years! SK MWP PK TP

    The Greatest Band on the Planet!

    You wouldn’t have held my interest
    for 20 years if you weren’t.

    Love Peace and Joy

  12. avatar
    esskayer | 31 December 2005 at 8:20 am #

    Dear Anonymous (the one who left the friendly message): I’m sorry you feel this way, I guess you cannot differentiate between tongue-in-cheek(which our hero here is so good at, in case you haven’t noticed) and 100% bonafide serious. Don’t think I’d be here if my feelings were the latter. (However, I was only half-joking about FY). If Mr. Kilbey takes offense, it’s his blog and he can/will DELETE away. On that subject, as SK himself said, you may post comments that do not necessarily reflect the beliefs and opinions of “the management.” MUST every other opinion in these comments be the same re-treaded hero worship (e.g. “You’re the greatest!”, “Loved ya fer 25 years!” etc.) and unoriginal post? If so then it seems kinda dull to me. If SK wants it that way then hey, it’s his choice. Well, gotta go. All i can say is: relax, don’t take life too seriously, and try to laugh a little. Happy New Year “Anonymous.” 🙂

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 1:16 pm #

    I hope that this MR Mister CD was remixed with 5.1 sound.
    Those guys could jingle jangle them guitars…..

    Rock on Kilbey…

  14. avatar
    Anonymussolini | 31 December 2005 at 1:19 pm #

    Follow the leader!!

    @Esskayer: remember “the awful ache”. Pretty sure you’ll never complain about FY again.

  15. avatar
    captainmission | 31 December 2005 at 2:49 pm #

    Have a safe and Happy New Years everyone, especially the dolphins.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 5:07 pm #

    @esskayer: anonymous here, seemed a little heavy-handed for tongue-in-cheek, but I see your intentions were honourable. No hard feelings, Happy NewYear to you.

  17. avatar
    esskayer | 31 December 2005 at 7:19 pm #

    Happy New Year Sidd-Nee, Kill-Bee, and all Yee…I feel a little better this morning, specially after I doubled my dosage of Anti-Dees. Perhaps 2006 will be okay and ULTC will come out in February and not December…. 😉

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 8:24 pm #


    another peice of comic brilliance,
    I’m sure King Bong will be twice as successfull for 1 third the cost of KK, looking forward to seeing this one.

    All the best for NY for the fam and your musical teams!


  19. avatar
    RA | 1 January 2006 at 12:58 am #

    It’s not E that makes me feel this good……



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