posted on March 21, 2011 at 3:38 pm

defenestrated

the night ahead

the day behind

on each side possibilities stack up

in some other universe where i am you

in some other you in some other place

what if what if what if

someone says there are no what ifs oh but there are

i mean

right time right place

wrong dimension

i mean my spirit encaged in this mansuit of flesh

i mean it wanders wherever it wants

you could end up anywhere

you could end up lost

life within emptiness

emptiness within life

forget all the times that you have burned

forget all the times that you have returned

a reality not fixed

nothing is

not even the truth

which has been stretched out of shape

reduced to a fact

bandied about

love is not the whole truth

the whole truth still is not love

they might intersect

anything goes

everything stops

an invisible hand guides me i cannot resist

some things are forbidden

some things are enforced

some things i have leeway

some things i have chains

some things i know nothing

some things i have known

sweet oblivion will embrace me

at the other end some brand new day

oh to start again

somewhere so nice

not like this place

half good and half bad

misfortune and grief nip at your heels

weight of this world pulling you down

words mean so little

they pour out of a mind

like they throw out your stuff

when they left you behind

and life seems so solid

but its jumping from thing to thing

it suddenly leaves you

it suddenly arrives

and you stand up and lie down

a puppet of life

mysterious force no one can see

vanishing appearing

like rain over the sea

thats me

fallen

yet still unfree

 

 

 

 

52 Responses to “i ran out of sky”

  1. avatar
    Laura | 21 March 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    Your mindset seems to be similar to mine at the moment. Although, this is just my interpretation. It could be far away, but generally speaking I believe that everyone’s minds and moods are interlocked in some manner. If you are in the same frame of mind as I am, here’s to the both of us in finding inner peace.

  2. avatar
    st. agnes | 21 March 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    as if you were writing another’s bio today.

    airwaves are saturated & simultaneously constipated.
    in between, my tides are dragging, emotions nagging,
    got th’ backlash blues.
    out of left field, combustion, then destruction,
    appearing midnight blue & quite unbecoming.

    where’s my storm of serenity?
    has it become it’s own entity?

    it’s all wrong, but it’s alright…

  3. avatar
    captain mission | 21 March 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    there is a sad truth in these words.

  4. avatar
    andy | 21 March 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    …..and you just dash this stuff off?
    astounding.

  5. avatar
    cazziem | 21 March 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    There are always what ifs SK, but on the road of life I believe it’s only the route that differs. Good or bad we end up where we are meant to be, some more quickly than others! Perhaps I can explain it better with a more blunt way that some one once relayed to me on the subject? He said, ‘we have no real choice in life, it only seems like we do. Put it this way, if my Gran would have had balls, she’d have been my Grand-dad!’

  6. avatar
    meg manestar | 21 March 2011 at 7:00 pm #

    thats truly great writing…exactly how it is…I use to say to people that I had no free will but they always misunderstood me…this part “love is not the whole truth the whole truth still is not love” yep…love is only the side we can see, your peice explains that the other part of this universe…the hidden part that is always there and wants its pound of flesh whether we like it or not…but as we cannot see in the dark or exist in the void, it is a dark lesson of energy and the separateness of illusion that we must overcome (and the probablitity of lacking shapeshifting as energy entities (lol) but I digress) so we really have to embrace love as a concept and do the best we can..as we cannot exist in the void without it….once were rock and fire…and now the rock is in our flesh as bone and the fire is in our spark of corporeal alertness..we are born of “a” big bang and this is yet another veil we all tear through..maybe to prepare us for something in the big cosmic fishbowls we cannot get our head around even if we tried…..who knows..really fabulous peice of writing, loved it….brainmeat…cant seem get enough quality of it these days.

  7. avatar
    Brie | 21 March 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Love it Steve.

  8. avatar
    . | 21 March 2011 at 10:26 pm #

    i can see out your suburban window
    red rooftops from there to the horizon
    green trees hoist themselves from the ground
    screaming and cursing at the earth for holding them back
    a gentle breeze whispers the throughts and memories of the earth
    the present mostly; although listen carefully and you’ll hear the past
    like the carnival you went to with your fourth grade class
    the hazy grey skies are an invisible energy shield
    left by some ancient civilization who grew tired of supplication
    they act to silence and muffle our pleas to the infinite beyond
    earthbound tragedies waiting to happen, balance joy and despair
    do the gods you and I grew up even exist, do they even care?
    ancient alien travelers interpreted as deity, the “truth” is out there

  9. avatar
    DavidP | 21 March 2011 at 11:23 pm #

    this nightmarish world makes you throw your thoughts away hey?
    and what makes you think we have any lives left?
    or that oblivion would be sweet?
    what if this is the last life we have left on the last turn of the wheel?
    the 324,000 life with everything riding on this one?
    to Being or not to Being? is that the question?
    what if? how to know?
    can you see what your Being is trying to tell you?
    if you want to escape this world of pain?
    for what purpose did the divine invent evil and pain and suffering?
    can we see and experience objective truth if we can transform our subjective psyche into being more objective?
    where do we carry the soul?

    • avatar
      Narelle | 22 March 2011 at 11:44 am #

      Hello David
      great food for thought….in our ‘nightmarish world’…just love closing my windows at the end of that kind of day…
      any lives left….depends on the definition of the word death
      ‘escape this world of pain’…no chance, its ever present…and if the divine did invent it…lets all find a dark alley…what sort of inventor would do that
      the subjective truth and objective truth…are they not one of the same…the plain old truth
      truth…is what it is…
      the soul…yet another word…within…or at least…a good starting point????????
      take care

      • avatar
        hali zid | 1 April 2011 at 9:13 am #

        “You left me alone in dark and made a painjust like shark,no need for talking, don’t get tired for explaining nothing will be the same again,stop telling me about your regrets ooooooooooooooooh it’s to late” this is me without real love,without truth………………….
        …………………………………………………is the end.

    • avatar
      meg manestar | 22 March 2011 at 6:50 pm #

      what if the only thing we remember is actually the mirror…and deja vu is an echo of the past..and did the divine invent evil, pain and suffering…or did evil pain and suffering invent the divine?

    • avatar
      meg manestar | 22 March 2011 at 6:58 pm #

      actually…i left out a bit the was the most important bit…..oooopsss…tired…and what if evil pain and suffering got together with light happiness and invented the divine? A divine cosmic conspirisory.

    • avatar
      DavidP | 22 March 2011 at 9:48 pm #

      hello Narelle, meg, and anyone else with interest in spirituality
      some brief clarifications;
      I was referring to the death of the physical body
      the mess of the external world is a reflection of our collective inner mess
      if all our internal worlds were more in order then what a great external world we would have, imagine no greed, anger, fear etc in the world
      we are all part of the problem to a greater or lesser extent,
      we are all part of the solution
      in Gnosticism they say opposites are needed in order to awaken,
      to go back fully conscious of what the Light really is
      i meant subjective truth to be what we mistakenly think is truth or only partly see of the truth
      the same dramas repeat from life to life if we dont change, hence deja vu
      and/or we can see events in dreams/astral before they happen here
      for much more info see links below. Sincerely.
      http://www.belzebuub.com/video
      http://www.belzebuub.com/about-belzebuub/books-belzebuub

      • avatar
        Narelle | 24 March 2011 at 10:11 am #

        Hello David
        internal world, external world, problem, solution…may well depend on ones outlook and/or credence ones gives to it…
        and all that wasted food etc etc…such a waste
        we sail along into the land of deja vu…its all good!!!!
        take care

  10. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 21 March 2011 at 11:33 pm #

    What if this is it?
    What if this is one existence?
    What if this is the only chance?
    What if there is nothing on the other side
    of the door?
    What if you discover this right before
    it all ends?

    Would you beg for more time?
    Would you plead for another chance?
    Would tears erase the years you have wasted?
    Would you regret what has been lost?

    Yeah, we can all dwell, and spew our earthly hypothesis and
    brandish our intellect to shine the spotlight on our conceptions,
    inceptions, speculations.
    But, what if its all been a loss of energy and time.

    We are not figments of ‘others’ imaginations, we are imaginations
    seeking realization.

    Today is a gloomy day indeed.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 21 March 2011 at 11:36 pm #

      Sorry…just a little depressed today. Life is difficult enough, I am just having darkness conceived by chronic-extreme-pain today.

      • avatar
        Lisa | 22 March 2011 at 8:38 am #

        Darrin, I hope your pain subsides and you return to feeling more like yourself. I like your questions above – would be nice to get some answers huh?

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 22 March 2011 at 11:25 pm #

          Thanks Lisa !!!

  11. avatar
    aida_morgan | 21 March 2011 at 11:54 pm #

    For me a clear blue sky has always symbolized hope & possibilities. Love the title of your piece. That alone speaks volumes.

  12. avatar
    Narelle | 22 March 2011 at 1:03 am #

    lovely words…with loads of word meaning!
    if we don’t get burned how do we really learn….
    take care

  13. avatar
    mari hall | 22 March 2011 at 1:49 am #

    Endless… Transcending… This is very good!

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 March 2011 at 1:53 am #

    How about being defenestrated into the past…being told I am an ‘old soul’ and feeling that I belong in another decade, identifying with others of different eras…yes, right time, right place, wrong dimension. Child of the 60’s, too young to appreciate the conscious choice of self-imposed altered consciousness to escape all that misfortune and grief you referred to. Watching, with intrigue, movies of the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, thinking about every nuance of how different life was then. My pre-conceived notions of the 50’s being uptight; maybe I’m wrong, wasn’t there, but then again maybe I was. Having some envy of the 70’s when all seemed to be free with no consequences. Clinging to alternatives, as I did in discovering The Church in the 80’s when pop music just wouldn’t do, didn’t float my boat, needed more substance, depth, thought…After this tangent of thoughts, so much of it really just boils down to what ifs.

  15. avatar
    Cecilia | 22 March 2011 at 2:25 am #

    and life seems so solid
    but its jumping from thing to thing
    it suddenly leaves you
    it suddenly arrives
    and you stand up and lie down
    a puppet of life

    y la vida parece tan sólida
    pero brinca de cosa a cosa
    de repente te deja
    de repente llega
    y te levantas y te acuestas
    un títere de la vida

  16. avatar
    mattyc | 22 March 2011 at 3:00 am #

    thanks sk, we all feel it i think
    the void, the space, pandora’s bang, a billion stars, a billion atoms following rules we arrogantly think we know and we’re swept into the cracks. the darkness, the cold, the unbearable loneliness. it shackles our souls.
    but sometimes divergent tangents cross and touch. there is a spark, light, warmth,and we cling to the windowsill.
    but the emptiness is patience, it knows that our fingers will weaken and it waits just below.

  17. avatar
    bc | 22 March 2011 at 3:28 am #

    always enjoy your words sk

  18. avatar
    Once | 22 March 2011 at 4:26 am #

    Beautiful. I really love “like rain over the sea/thats me/fallen/yet still unfree”. Water to water, that never-ending cycle…

    My friend had some heartbreak over the weekend and wrote the following:

    Death.
    How she lies in waiting,
    Her opaque shroud of innocence and peace-
    The end of pain and beginning of new life.
    Mourning.
    Broken statues of angels,
    Catacombs of plague and dust
    To be covered over
    Again and again
    By centuries of ashen love lost.
    Regained.
    Dying,
    And born again.
    The cycle of old decay and new blood — WJC 3/20/11

    Interesting for a couple reasons – she’s 20 years younger than me, and I’m pretty sure I could dig up an almost exact replica of this from the 80’s (tho not as cleanly written – she went to college, ha ha). The imagery also reminds me of a Church album cover.

    So I think to myself, “I hope she doesn’t go through all the things that I have”, she’s an emotional replica of who I once was, but in a new era; and then I realize that she already has, and more. And I’m inspired, cuz she’s a bright star radiating all that pain and beauty – it really is a never-ending cycle, thank God for the artists who are strong enough to feel and communicate that, you see them just spark sometimes, and value them so much more highly because they are always poised on the edge. It’s not a lie – it’s spiritual bravery, you’re there SK…one day someone’s gonna break through the ultimate elusive metaphor and hit the truth square in the face. It’s exciting – keep going. Suffering may be part of it, but one of your best lines ever was (paraphrased) “I did this because no one else could.”

  19. avatar
    plumlady | 22 March 2011 at 7:49 am #

    Darrin K, right on with your thoughts. What IF this is all there is…well most likely that is true. I don’t find that all that sad, but it does lead one to think that we all must make the most of each day that we’re here. And some times that means we’re depressed, or lonely, or happy….whatever; we shouldn’t dwell on it that much. How dull a life it would be if everyone was always happy or depressed all the time and never any different. It’s only when people freak out in one direction or the other that there should be concern. Steve, you always make me see deeper into my own feelings after reading these blogs. Some days I’m right there with you; other days you’re light and I’m dark. But the honesty you provide, and then the comments of others except for the followers who just agree with everything written; always inspire me to look deeper within myself for at least that day. Thanks.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 22 March 2011 at 11:26 pm #

      I SO agree with you madame P-L !!!

  20. avatar
    Cocoamo | 22 March 2011 at 9:14 am #

    Really excellent writing – especially interesting contrasted with yesterday’s silly fluff piece (also thoroughly enjoyable – nice demonstration of your range). Thanks

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  21. avatar
    grenda | 22 March 2011 at 9:38 am #

    Love to you, Steve.

    g

  22. avatar
    Karen | 22 March 2011 at 10:20 am #

    When I was about nine or ten I was laying near the river in some long grass with my dog..and I thought to myself “spill the wine(8) take that pearl (8) no I didnt think that… thats a song I didnt know at the time..being silly..
    I thought I never want to grow up and a lot of people would have to agree I probably havent…no ones free 🙁

    dont get me all melancholic now… I need more bib pectin…

  23. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 22 March 2011 at 10:23 am #

    learn from yesterday
    live for today
    fuck tomorrow
    worry about that later
    plenty of time left
    what are you going to do with it?

    Jason

    • avatar
      david | 22 March 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      whew ! finally …someone nailed it !..

  24. avatar
    caitbrid | 22 March 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    Wow–thank you–this is EXACTLY how I feel tonight. After all these years you still make me feel better and less alone when I need it.

  25. avatar
    Once | 22 March 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    Ever wanna just use someone else’s words?

    CUT ‘N PASTE

    You know you don’t have much time
    Genuine fake
    You’d have thought I’d had enough
    Struggling like
    You’re still beautiful, baby
    Dorian Gray
    Crying is no substitute for laughter
    I’m feeling used

    Motel bar, the dirty sulky moon
    And it’s nothing
    You’ll always be my lifetimes blade
    You’ve got to go
    What do you expect me to do, disappear?
    Goes on and on
    2 bad you, 3 know, what it’s 4
    The knives and forks

    So the circus drifts away, and the noise dies down
    More evidence
    And the opium is running pretty low
    And you = me
    Wish I knew what you were looking for
    Quite familiar
    Don’t think I’ve forgotten the thoughts of your room
    Keep that promise.

  26. avatar
    princey | 22 March 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    Hi sk, been having trouble logging-on here lately, but better late than ever to let you know that my thoughts are with you, I send you a big hug and lots of love and hope you and your kids stay positive, healthy and happy 🙂
    Take care,
    love Amanda

  27. avatar
    Ingrid | 22 March 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    Beautiful stuff. How was last night’s gig? Would have loved to have gone. I found out about it late yesterday whilst at work and didn’t have enough time to make drive down there.

    Anyways looking forward to Sydney Opera House xxx

    • avatar
      Narelle | 22 March 2011 at 11:42 pm #

      Hello Ingrid
      There was a decent amount who turned up which was great. Each artist did a couple of songs. Steve and Tim performed Providence and M

    • avatar
      Narelle | 23 March 2011 at 12:10 am #

      Hello Ingrid
      since you asked…the Fundraiser night was a good night…at the down town RSL Club!!! Lots a great ‘older’ musicians gave their time. Steve, Tim & Co played the fab Providence and crowd pleaser Under The Miky Way. Providence was drowned out by the sherbert lovers..had to really listen hard…Tims harmonies were brilliant…great voice. Then…Milky Way backed by The Chorus of Piss Pots…
      Cheers

      • avatar
        Ingrid | 23 March 2011 at 11:40 am #

        Cheers thanks Narelle for letting me know how it was.

  28. avatar
    Steven Krut | 22 March 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    Regret seems to weigh heavily on you. I’ve stumbled upon a solution for regret, though. All you have to do, it turns out, is fold the 5th dimension through the 6th dimension. This explains all about it: http://www.tenthdimension.com/medialinks.php

  29. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 22 March 2011 at 11:31 pm #

    Sara-
    Your spot on. The difficult challenge is the realization that is degenerating and there is not a thing I can do about it. This is going on 5 years and over the past 6-12 months, the downward spiral has begun. Somedays, my spirit+body lose the will to keep going, I fight on for more angels, my wonderful children. Without them , I do not know where are what I would be.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 March 2011 at 10:07 am #

    David I always thought that was a lovely concept… What if there is an oscillating universe model… More than one consciousness at a time… Parallels… And endless possibilities……..Just chucking it out there!!! And to those that asked…. I was born single but I’m plural in front of mirrors and shiny reflective things….:o)

  31. avatar
    meg manestar | 23 March 2011 at 8:58 pm #

    that was me by the way…just incase…iphone makes me anonymous…for some reason…damn iphone…no…i love you…damn you!

  32. avatar
    hellbound heart | 24 March 2011 at 7:13 pm #

    some things you say resonate with how i’m feeling at the moment….
    love always…..

  33. avatar
    hali zid | 1 April 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Narelle

  34. avatar
    Heather daydream | 2 April 2011 at 9:50 am #

    running out of sky is one of my worst nightmares….and I just learned about the black hole gamma ray bubbles u on top of and under the milky way tonight…more scares.
    Lovely post x


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