posted on August 6, 2007 at 2:56 am

you are unreachable
time and time again
mornings come and go
childhoods drift into age
the years yawn and are gone
one day this
next day that
if you only had perspective
if you could see the shadows the littlest things cast
i dont want to turn into this thing im becoming
but its in the stars
the celestial bodies pulling us here n there
the gravity of our times
the sheer weighed up bags of moments
the dazzling sunlight
the foggiest night
already bewildered suffering these attacks
you return again n again
here is a haven for travellers i have heard
where weary wayfarers find rest
there is a way into its centre
there is room there
living room
mirrors talking back
paintings follow you round
the statuettes gyre n gimble
the masks grinning from ear to here
i didnt want to end up here either
in the sun on my deck chair
feeding the birdies
and whistling for my supper
they switched off the clocks
they turned the calendars upside down
and now night comes before day
and day comes before night
its peaceful i must say
at least
im crazy but im calm
im jealous n bitter as all hell
but somehow these waving fields soothe me and
somehow the margins have contained me
somehow the things i need elude me
one day you wake up….
or one night you go to sleep…
and after that
when it all goes……
wrong is such a strong word…..
when it all goes differently to what youd thought
what youd banked on happening
when you get a 3 instead of a king
or you end up in the lane going the other way
sailing past your home doing a hundred
or you realise youre watching the wrong film
hey ! this aint what i thought it was
i want my time and my money back
i wanna retrial n a misprint
i wanna easy sentence handed down
i wanna minimum security universe
and i want weekend conjugal visits and
i want to escape almost before im in
and then i regret even before i have begin
and then i feel finished
finished
null n voided
over n out
and as it all grinds to a halt
one little spark
starts to glow
and you think
oh no
i thought it was all extinguished
but no
little spark fanned by your very breath
and hope against hope
but failure
inertia
silence
darkness
beckon

48 Responses to “indeed”

  1. avatar
    Peter Podcast | 6 August 2007 at 3:40 am #

    Are you reading my mind again?

  2. avatar
    melquiades | 6 August 2007 at 3:58 am #

    hmmmmmm,…

  3. avatar
    Celticat | 6 August 2007 at 4:04 am #

    Nice one Steve,

    Love
    Celticat

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 4:25 am #

    ya got to have faith that everything is perfect…Nullification is not on the cards for you..there is only ever one vision of tempestuous..the negative form of “tempestuous” is illusion/trickery and doesn’t reside in this sphere.Only love is ever void of malevolence,and you have that in abundance…gentle warm thoughts,and love and peace…./J38.4

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 4:32 am #

    Another finely wrought tour of the psyche…this one cuts deep and true.

    c escherbach canada

  6. avatar
    dean9000 | 6 August 2007 at 4:33 am #

    this is so true…. it really sinks in when I look at my kids and remember when they were in diapers and now….it sends me into a melancholy sadness (what tha’ hell, i just typed a smashing pumpkins album)…i guess you do the best you can to avoid stopping to notice the ravages of time….

    Thanks for the great post SK…

    peace, Dean

  7. avatar
    mattdavison | 6 August 2007 at 4:37 am #

    I wanna consume
    I want to eat up a forest
    ———————————-
    I want women and men..
    and when the whole dam, thing is over..
    I want it all back again
    Yeh!! maybe I’ll be happy then….

    Matts Mini Blog below
    ***********************************

    As I venture

    into
    the Frigid waters,
    I have no compass
    no range.

    nakedness
    intentional
    forgotten..

    Out a range
    like a floating spore.

    Onerous
    purposeless
    Self efacing
    prejudice,

    Arr, Ya know……
    Ya always going
    to get it
    Just they way
    it is.

    is it!!

    Is it

    It is.

    I hope ya don’t mind killer,
    nevets..

    I ve reached Mordors castle
    the gargoils are reaching out
    to get me..

    they wanna profligate me…

    my mortal truths are becoming
    very very apparent

    impetuous thoughts

    rolling over me
    like a alpine forrest

    If I could arrest myself I would

    That evil villainous Davvydson
    can have me ol’laudable soul.

    all yours pal!

    come get me…

    Thought you ‘d be back

    you martyr..

    it’s a sentence this
    thing..

    and a play..

    I am sitting in
    the front row

    arrogantly

    morose.

    md

  8. avatar
    Thelonious | 6 August 2007 at 4:41 am #

    the warm seduction of melancholy…

  9. avatar
    Sunshine | 6 August 2007 at 5:04 am #

    SK,
    I could swear I responded with this before, but someone once said that “expectations are disappointments under construction” or something like that. Things don’t always turn out the way we expected or wanted. Sometimes something’s surprise outcome is a pleasant surprise. I find myself enthralled with games of chance, as I love surprises. No betting, though. I’d be one broke puppy if cash were involved.

    I realize that you’re likely not talking about a game, but I think you can appreciate the connection.

    ~Sunshine

  10. avatar
    greetings time travellers | 6 August 2007 at 5:53 am #

    About five years ago
    these cyber meetings began
    at another address
    you played neuman and some other roles
    I played a hindu princess and some other roles
    all this integration
    is exciting
    the others played the others
    you draw some unique characters, myself even
    and some I’m sorry about, myself even
    we’re all like mingles of mists
    on my face
    the facial I’ve never had
    cooling my headaches
    it’s a monumental move today, a milestone
    away from that hell
    back there we left our previoius pains
    we broke through the mirror
    we didn’t stand back and admire our grand designs too much
    because you know what they say about those who do:

    nuthin’

    some of it’s slammed
    it’s all too much
    oh, my nerves of steel were melting
    hey, they wonder why they’re not all masterpieces
    some are complete failures disintigrating in fire
    it’s how I got here
    and this fast little instrument isn’t slowing

    Art Amused

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 5:57 am #

    what struck me most,in this blog?….the image of The Panther{endowed with his pantherian traits?}…..FEEDING THE BIRDS???….and yep,I could ramble on all afternoon,about how precious and sweet that is……metaphorically and literally,and heartwarmingly…..there is something ,umm”lions lying down with lambs”,was that one of yours MR.Kilbey?….peace =flora….get into the garden,always helps me,anyway!?…….love,as always,genx xxxxx

  12. avatar
    B.Jay{?} | 6 August 2007 at 6:30 am #

    Indeed the title was!?……/ChW?

  13. avatar
    *The Queen of the F**king Universe* | 6 August 2007 at 7:15 am #

    Can I make you a cup of tea?

  14. avatar
    eek | 6 August 2007 at 7:17 am #

    when it all goes differently to what youd thought

    Isn’t that the truth. You know all those “where do you see yourself in X number of years?” things teachers and guidence counselors loved making us all fill out? I’ve long forgotten what I wrote — all I know is it wasn’t this!

    Some days when I ponder my life I just have to laugh, ’cause if I didn’t laugh…well….

    And this:

    im crazy but im calm

    is a delightful line. 🙂

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 7:38 am #

    It has been said…

    Wanna make God laugh?

    Tell him your plans.

    B.Bon

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 7:55 am #

    B.Bon…..oh,hell.!that’s good!this one became so relevant to me when i lost my eyesight{,one should never settle for one’s “lot”,you gotta aim for yourhighest potential though in your own measure}….one of my favourite little sayings/inspirational thoughts is “if you got lemons….make lemonade”….love,genx xx

  17. avatar
    Fireseed | 6 August 2007 at 8:52 am #

    “if you could see the shadows the littlest things cast”

    ah – such a beautiful line!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 9:58 am #

    So, Steve, you really chucked a William the other day, eh?!

  19. avatar
    veleska1970 | 6 August 2007 at 10:07 am #

    “when it all goes differently to what youd thought
    what youd banked on happening
    when you get a 3 instead of a king”
    that always seems to happen. i’m with sunshine on the “expectation” thing. if you don’t expect anything, you’re not going to set yourself up for disappointment. i know it’s easier said than done, but just going with the flow and letting the chips fall where they may is [probably the best thing to do.

    lotza love….

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 10:08 am #

    ups and downs, ay steve…my god, i’ve had my share of them as well…got the scars (physical and mental) to prove it…fuck man, we all have downers, don’t we…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  21. avatar
    NickF | 6 August 2007 at 10:23 am #

    I think I know where your getting at with that , but great nonetheless…

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 10:25 am #

    Oh, I’m hoping that little spark will be flickering when you’re here in September sk, it just has to, ok!!!!
    Love Princey

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 10:47 am #

    A good inventory on the feeling of failure. Time creates “existential bankruptcy”..

    Everyone, please read “Book of disquiet” by Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935). It’s a startling book on feeling lost.. “I have failed, like the entire universe”.

    Lebrinho

  24. avatar
    fantasticandy | 6 August 2007 at 11:03 am #

    just all get yer asses over to the church myspace page and check out the ‘block’ live video!
    awesome!!!!!!!!!
    then let’s start a petition to steve,timbo,marty ‘n peter.
    this stuff is wonderful!!!!
    oi,steve yer blogs great,

    but where’s my fuckin’ DVD?

    much love,
    andy L.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 11:04 am #

    Lee Ranaldo (Sonic Youth):

    Notebook (from Amarillo Ramp 1991)
    “..a collage of visuals and spoken word”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqZn6DKVdaA

    A beautiful piece of art, pretty much summarizes it all.

    Lebrinho
    (sorry for flooding today..)

  26. avatar
    lily was here | 6 August 2007 at 11:43 am #

    Stepping back into the future. A lot of great sparks here Killer, keep the embers glowing.
    sue x
    ps oh yeah Andy, those videos are truly wicked

  27. avatar
    restaurant mark | 6 August 2007 at 12:03 pm #

    that’s so good…

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 12:42 pm #

    Leila:

    ..I am not portuguese but Pessoa is my religion. Um filho adoptivo portugues, I guess ! São Fernando, desassossevangelium..

    Ranaldo-Pessoa axis truly is the place : D

    Lebrinho

  29. avatar
    piggy in the mirror | 6 August 2007 at 1:15 pm #

    there’s some things in life,you can bank on! The Church,SK,Jeff Beck{Yes? Brien?},and to the “Bondi strangler”,There’s always the sun!

  30. avatar
    lily was here | 6 August 2007 at 1:24 pm #

    ps You really are a great linesman sk
    bass lines,
    written lines,
    parallel lines
    visual lines
    brush lines
    interconnecting lines,
    sea line!
    love ya lines
    even the wrinkly ones 🙂

    sue x

  31. avatar
    matthew | 6 August 2007 at 2:16 pm #

    Ah I love it when the blog veers into this sheerest of poetry. Thanks!

  32. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 6 August 2007 at 2:57 pm #

    My life has progressed like decay on a rotten tooth. Studies have verified that communities and neighborhoods that are saturated with flowers, trees, plants, foliage and mother nature, are very fortunate because greenery is conducive for better mental health. As a write millions of trees are being massacred by marauders, developers and other malevolent profiteers who destroy the planet. The fall of man !!!!! On another note Jack Frost was so much more creative than the Finn Brothers. I am so lucky to have the two Jack Frost CDS. The Finn Brothers are very good together.

  33. avatar
    steve's relevancy meter | 6 August 2007 at 3:53 pm #

    Huh?

  34. avatar
    Faye | 6 August 2007 at 4:04 pm #

    The sweetest dreams,to all…may all your tomorrows be incredibly,and unimaginably spectacular!

  35. avatar
    kat | 6 August 2007 at 4:17 pm #

    exactly. where the @#$% is the haven?

  36. avatar
    JUNIOR PAINKILLER | 6 August 2007 at 4:20 pm #

    it’s time we saved me all spark music cube…
    Optimus Prime

  37. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 6 August 2007 at 8:38 pm #

    we all put the hosre before the cart..and then some,always tryin to cash checks our hearts or minds cant cover ,.. its the flesh makes us weep as were meant to soar up out and beyond the “slow crack” that sleepily, almost imperceptably lures us as if lemmings in a long line of sheep..
    asheep at the wheel,..

    i think theres a choice

    if i feel like im not gettin what i bargained for ,…im renegotiating.im twisting hard on the reins and pulling up the carpet and sweepin out the floor,.if stuff looks upside down jus flip yer head about,..

  38. avatar
    verdelay | 6 August 2007 at 9:38 pm #

    TURNING CIRCLE

    Killer,

    You are going to die.

    (it’s the only way you can live).

    You can’t have anything back.

    (you gave it all away freely…as it was given to you).

    There will be great pain ahead.

    (essential counterpoint to every pleasure).

    In the end there will be nothing.

    (…that you need anymore).

    All the so-called words of wisdom intended to provide a little solace will prove futile and pointless.

    (it’s true).

    You are going to die.

    (do you need to see the contract again?).

    You can’t have anything back.

    (not even the time you wasted on this)

    There will be great pain ahead.

    (And also behind…do you begin to see the pattern emerging?).

    In the end there will be nothing.

    (When you’ve brushed your teeth, do you really need to swallow the toothpaste? Spit it out, child).

    All the so-called words of wisdom intended to provide a little solace will prove futile and pointless.

    (But we’re listening anyway).

    You are going to die.

    (etc.,)

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2007 at 9:52 pm #

    V Me tinx U need some Vit.C &B,and some A &D from T sun

  40. avatar
    knot | 6 August 2007 at 9:58 pm #

    relative
    it’s

  41. avatar
    steve kilbey | 6 August 2007 at 9:59 pm #

    err thanks verdelay
    ummm…whats the goode news?

  42. avatar
    the dean | 6 August 2007 at 10:18 pm #

    I think verderlay is channeling Athena Starwoman.

  43. avatar
    Re-illusionist | 6 August 2007 at 11:29 pm #

    The Re-illusionist
    has appeared again,
    and again

    Over here,
    Ladies and Gentlemen

    See

    As he Reconnects the
    Torso, rent in two

    As he becomes I
    And not you

    Watch the Rabbit
    Magickally slipped back
    up his hat;

    As the deck is
    Un-stacked

    And all its secrets
    given away

    But…

    His audience already knew
    So there was nothing

    He would
    do

  44. avatar
    Mandrake | 6 August 2007 at 11:57 pm #

    what do ya call a man with a couple o rabbits up his bottomski?…….Warren!ox

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2007 at 12:42 am #

    Hi sk, I forgot to mention that I saw you on tv on Saturday night! Just as I was cursing the “Great Australian Albums” show for not featuring any CHURCH album (oooh that makes me so angry!!) your face flashed on the screen for next weeks show on the Triffids album “Born Sandy Devotional”…it was so nice to see your face if only for a second, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about that great album.
    Have a beautiful day.
    Love Princey

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2007 at 3:48 am #

    where’s the bloggy king?…..”.Is there anybody out there?”…./j38.4

  47. avatar
    starring Athena, a woman | 7 August 2007 at 3:55 am #

    Verdelay! yes, we’ve met before. Thank you for your keen eye Dean. I recall meeting V in a Gothic section of France that no longer exists- he had black hair and his parchment skin was blinding.

    I think you’ve scared Athena to join the cariatids in defiance that no one dies this time….

    Seriously, thanks for the e-mails V.

    The stage is all yours, Mr. K *-)

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 August 2007 at 12:10 am #

    sk,
    so peaceful to hear those words, laced with……..

    rmck


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