posted on June 24, 2006 at 7:52 am

the bottle contained one message
and the messsage was help
neuman glumly drained its contents nevertheless
he was out drinkin’ with his good buddies
steve kilby and aleistair crowly
the bar was almost empty
neuman was drinkin’ beer
kilby was drinkin’ something black n bitter
crowly was drinkin’ a grant mclennan ice tea
which was basically every white spirit plus some juice or tea
or something
rudy its getting kinda late for me said kilby buttoning up his coat
whats the matter with you man said neuman
youre getting old man thats the problem
crowly ignored them
he was watching the couple in the corner
kissing n drinking n laughing
he was conceiving a little plan
a little surprie if you like
it was great to be alive again after all this time
all thanks to these 2 rascals neuman n kilby
things were like that in the future he thought
i need a familiar….
neuman was swearing and drinking furiously
every small thing that came up on the multi-screen
caused a torrent of abuse
oh for fucks sake he raged at the screen
whos that? kilby asked genuinely puzzled
its the new german minister for dreams
what? said kilby
he says we’re on a yellow dream alert right now
oh wait, moving up to red at midnight, tonight, in fact
kilby shot the clock on the wall behind the bar a lightning glance
sure enough it was five to twelve
rudy how long back to my hotel?
what you frightened off man neuman slurred n sneered
pinch yourself are you awake?
crowly was repeating something to himself
just under his breath
it sounded like a prayer…or a spell
jesus you two worry me sometimes kilby complained
leaf him alone said neuman
let him do his fucking thing
the outside which was no longer outside
came in
it seemed like there were some monkeys
and some merchant seamen
a fight broke out
neuman whipped out his syllable gun
a bottle broke across crowlys head
the place had suddenly erupted
neumans gun went off
kilby clutched his chest
oh rudy oh look what ya did…
its only a dream
its only a dream
neuman shook the limp form
wake up
wake up
WAKE UP!!!
the pain subsided in kilbys heart
everything became clear
everything became bright
a great calmness pervaded there
neumans handsome face came into focus
ha ha
almost believed you were gone man
but rudy you just shot me…..kilby gasped
whats going on here..?
crowlys leonine face hovered over the prostrate bassist
hey stephen you brought me back
i brought you back …right?
but al, is it true all the stuff those commenters said about ya on mah blogg?
well im sorry sir but i dont read your blog
but…?
and what if….?
and then you see that……?
the whole fucking world doesnt revolve around your blog, kilby, said neuman
but rudy you just shot me here on my own blog
and howcome youre spelling our names incorrectly sir? accused al
come on man
its just a blog
get ovfer it whispers neuman up close
where im laying on the ground
in this bar in this dream
in this blog
i can smell the aftershave and his beery breath
i can reach up and grasp his strong tanned hand
any way says al
thanks n goodbye
just like that says neuman
can you believe that fucking guy?

13 Responses to “irrationalia”

  1. avatar
    Fandorin | 24 June 2006 at 9:45 am #

    German Minister of Dreams. I’ll go looking…sirens howling.

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 June 2006 at 10:15 am #

    The German accent of neuman is a crack up sk, please keep this one going for a while now that we’re all hooked…….AGAIN!!!

    love always,
    Amanda P

  3. avatar
    victor n. | 24 June 2006 at 11:28 am #

    Don’t sweat it, he treats everyone like that.

  4. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 24 June 2006 at 12:21 pm #

    Bloody neuman!

  5. avatar
    fergal | 24 June 2006 at 12:59 pm #

    i feel ike i am in one of the cities of the red nights, in the western lands …
    and i expect to see kid carson sometime soon …
    or am i in colon, colombia
    ?
    ~

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 June 2006 at 1:13 pm #

    7078 tangerine dreamWe are only just beginning to explore the dreamscape, great stuff, Interesting read. come visit 7078 tangerine dream sometime.

  7. avatar
    baby | 24 June 2006 at 3:29 pm #

    i have made an important discovery…
    that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication

    so i heard my friend oscar say, anyhoo.

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 June 2006 at 6:24 pm #

    A bar to find myself in to be sure….
    wasn’t Rimbaud on his way down before all hell broke loose? or steve harley
    with a confused mickey finn in tow?

    The neuman chronicles continue much to my delight.

    theglynnisjohns

  9. avatar
    eek | 24 June 2006 at 7:31 pm #

    (ok…I’m gonna try this comment thing again…)

    “the whole fucking world doesnt revolve around your blog, kilby, said neuman”

    Wait a minute! This can’t possibly be true.

    …can it…?

  10. avatar
    captainmission | 25 June 2006 at 12:42 am #

    AH HA!

    there’s magick in them words you write mr. k

    another very evocotive piece of narrative

  11. avatar
    steve kilbey | 25 June 2006 at 1:43 am #

    neumans syllable gun fires one syllable
    and the syllable is death

  12. avatar
    sue cee | 25 June 2006 at 2:31 am #

    But we thought it wasnt a gun, we thought it was just a bass guitar!

  13. avatar
    isolde | 28 June 2006 at 8:17 am #

    this was just brill, i’ve been smiling about this since satdee nite, its now wensday, i luv it when yer naked especially when takin the piss outta yerself its so black, so hilarious, just luv how yore mind werks


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