posted on September 15, 2009 at 7:15 am

i was standing in a guitar shop in queanbeyan with my dad
he said do you see anything you like here, slim
i looked around and the guy brought over this huge red guitar
its a rhythm guitar he said rather foolishly
no dad i said
i want a bass i said
we walked outside n dad was gone
i get on board a bus that drives through the pleasant evenings
down some stairs i go
a whole bunch of guys standing round smoking cigarettes
long hair and impatience
blasting loud guitars
cymbals crashing like white lightning
i light up a peter stuyvo
i drink my chocolate milk
i scream into a mike
i blister my fingers on the bass thats never loud enough
i drive up to sydney n stay at the squire inn in bondi junction
i do a residency at some now defunct joint that now does massages
we carry the gear in
we plug in all the leads
we argue
we smoke
we meet some stupid bigshot whos checking us out
i reckon he wont like us so i’m super-rude
we play awfully
things feedback
someones angry at me
i walk out into a cold morning back in canberra
stripped of band n everything
i fiddle with a tape recorder in a bedroom in rivett
i sit crosslegged on the floor
i got my bass n my e guitar n my a guitar
i got my drum machine n my synthesizer
i got my flange pedal n my distortion pedal
i got my little mixing desk
i got my stack of coloured leads
i got my mike n my stand
i got my exercise books full of words n poems n notes
and i begin
4 years later
i wake up in sydney rozelle
i got this terrace house with black walls n red carpets
i got a load of people hanging around
russell sits at a table eating cornflakes
the music is pounding
people smoking hash bongs n spilling stuff on my carpet
i go off on a tour
everything goes hazy at the edges
we tour the gold coast in summer listening to pet sounds
we get on a plane n fly to england
we stay in a crazy place with a spiral staircase to the roof
we play a gig in london n 2000 people show up
we play pretty awfully but they love it
ploog n i cruise the streets buying clothes n records n dope
we eat hash n go for goofy walks in hyde park
trying to relive a scene out of some beatles movie
we play before duran durank
and i quit
i mean
it was a serious joke
we come home
achieving little
and we go round n round aust for 4 years
round the mull-berry bush
we check in we check out
we sound check
we have fights with each other
we write songs n we forget chords
we bicker n squabble n wobble n snicker
we bitch n we moan n we goof off
we play great shows n we balls up others
we think we’re pretty good
n we dont like the provinces
we go in recording studios
n we argue n work n whisper n get out
i fight with everyone ALL the time
no one sees it my way ever
and i have to convince em somehow
sometimes i lose heart n go with the path of least resistance
the years fall off the calendar
i wake up in some american town n jump on a bus
we play every night we drive everyday
i feel the world closing in on me
i cant remember who i was
i lose the plot
suddenly i dont care
i let go of the rains
i buy a you-beaut sampler n make “remindlessness”
its clunky n awkward but its where i’m at
i do it my way n i dont have to argue
next thin i know
i gotta studio n a habit n a house in surry hills
n i’m falling asleep on the couch again
or arguing with someone on the phone
or slipping upstairs for a production meeting
or i’m playing my piano behind the glass
boy hanging out for the gear is not conducive for music
grant comes over
we walk around strumming guitars for days
i eat n smoke dope
grant drinks red wine n smokes cigs
we write songs that are so great we immediately forget em
next thing i know
grants moved to qld
and im on tour with marty strumming a guild 12
n then petes back n tim walks in
and i move away
i live in some apartment where its so cosy
but i’m cold inside and i’m frightened to thaw out
i do some ragged gigs on my own
marty n i play sometimes
then i’m in delaware making dabble
n the monkeys jumped off my back
and then i’m in bondi
and we do a song called sealine
and we do a song called block
and we do a tour somewhere
i and i get a blog
and i do a painting
and i sit here
on a warm spring night
listening to the birds n the children
lucky i guess
a song in spades
thats for sure

51 Responses to “it all happened so fast”

  1. avatar
    A. Kite | 15 September 2009 at 8:36 am #

    Interesting synopsis, if a little dizzying. To see the art from the artist's point of view definitely adds another dimension to the music for the listener. It's been one hell of a journey, eh? Hope you had a really nice birthday, Steve.

  2. avatar
    income stream #23 | 15 September 2009 at 10:25 am #

    Steve, write out the lyrics to several of your songs and sell em on ebay.
    Handwritten lyrics by the Killer himself? Those beauties will sell.
    Extra income for minimal outlay – and Taxbastard will be off your back within months!

  3. avatar
    cazziem | 15 September 2009 at 10:34 am #

    Oh SK, this was absolutely fantastic today. An abridged version of the biography that I'm thoroughly enjoying; but reading exceedingly slowly so as to not miss a single syllable.

    Thanks for taking us on your trip down memory lane.

  4. avatar
    Richard | 15 September 2009 at 10:35 am #

    even if that's not an answer to my question yesterday it will do

  5. avatar
    fandorin | 15 September 2009 at 10:35 am #

    that was great. basically the same as in no certainty attached, just more concise!

    > "remindlessness"
    > its clunky n awkward

    Remindlessness was a revelation for my 14 year old me. Awkward or not, it sounded like nothing else, not even remotely. It had some tremendous poetry I won't have expected in my new record. The songs were short scribbles/watercolour paintings/elaborate monumental statues. it was tiny (randomP) and huge (elephant), uplifting and frightening (elephant, pain). it had all colours and sounded like a diverse world created by a demiurg with a spooky sense of humour. the drum machines werent trying to imitate stock rhythms, but were always on the verge of a breakdown. more "machine" than "drum". ghosts and spirits like telambi haunting the grooves. danielle made me feel older with every bar, gloriana anticipated film, just happier. clunky…yes, but like a mysterious fascinating psychedelic junkyard where the boy that was me would search and play for hours and days. if that was were you were, it must have been a place where nobody else went before and after.

  6. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 15 September 2009 at 11:13 am #

    i guess you don't take anything/anyone for granted anymore, true? value loved ones and friends and the magic you make…..

    love always…..

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2009 at 11:16 am #

    so why are you still doing the same old shit
    making the same mistakes
    everyone has moved on
    Grant most profoundly
    you need to let go
    your not a rock star anymore
    there's nothing wrong with that
    let go
    teach or something
    make your family secure
    forget this folly
    20 or 40 or 60 fans
    stop being a self indulgent boy
    stand up as a man and put your families well being before your ego
    you fucked up once with the first set of twins.
    dont do it again you plonker
    your fans are selfish and always want more
    they dont want to let go of how you made them feel 20 years ago
    get real Steve while you still can

  8. avatar
    princey | 15 September 2009 at 11:24 am #

    You've done SO much in your 55 years of life on earth sk, thats for sure!

    Glad you eventually made it to Bondi, I love Sealine and Block and Blog and love that t-shirt too!:)

  9. avatar
    Celticat | 15 September 2009 at 11:46 am #

    Thank you, made me smile

  10. avatar
    Freddie | 15 September 2009 at 12:20 pm #

    You’ve been through a lot…makes me tired just reading it.
    Tired NOT bored 😉 xoxo ♥ ♠

  11. avatar
    Freddie | 15 September 2009 at 12:22 pm #

    Oh and I like yer shirt 🙂

  12. avatar
    eek | 15 September 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    Your life has certainly been an adventure so far!

    There is still a day left to get some great savings on SK art during the SK Art Birthday Sale. Originals, prints and cards — all on sale. Savings up to 40+%.

    Check it out — you know you want to!

  13. avatar
    Jasperina | 15 September 2009 at 12:47 pm #

    …made me all warm n fuzzy n nostalgic. You write it in your funny, truthful even tender way. The argy bargy that is part of a creative life. The struggle…sigh. reminds me of a dear uncle of mine who has since passed. He said he looked forward to death because he would never again be thwarted by life….sweet relief.

  14. avatar
    Lit-Crit | 15 September 2009 at 1:22 pm #

    Better than that other bloke's recent, embarrassingly amateur, creative writing project/ biography, anyhow!

  15. avatar
    lily was here | 15 September 2009 at 1:25 pm #

    Yes such a merry-go-round hey. So very glad you got off while you could.

    love xoxo

  16. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 15 September 2009 at 1:41 pm #

    Listening to Blessed One. Lovely bass 🙂


  17. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 15 September 2009 at 1:42 pm #

    Listening to Blessed One. Lovely bass 🙂


  18. avatar
    fantasticandy | 15 September 2009 at 1:44 pm #

    the bloody bio finally arrived just this morning!

    you just rendered it redundant ya bugger……….

  19. avatar
    Ellen | 15 September 2009 at 2:59 pm #

    I love blog entries like these. It's like I'm following your life's path (vicariously of course).

    I know I sound like a broken record (no pun intended), but the thing that is most intriguing about you is your authenticism. It's rather rare these days. Far too many people try to be, say and do what they think others expect of them and they lose themselves.

    Anyway, gotta get back to work, but just wanted to say how much I really appreciate you "keeping it real."

  20. avatar
    matthew | 15 September 2009 at 3:49 pm #

    far rout!

  21. avatar
    Melquiades | 15 September 2009 at 4:40 pm #

    a lifetime of living encapsulated in brief prose. DE = Dabble. that's awesome to think that was made in DE of all places. hopefully you were sitting on the beach when you were inspired….

  22. avatar
    Melquiades | 15 September 2009 at 4:43 pm #

    HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!! You are gift to mankind

  23. avatar
    <i><b>Loran Vesk</b></i> | 15 September 2009 at 4:52 pm #

    I love this kind of post!!!And yesterday, i received in my mailbox your bio…

    France is so far away from Australia…and you're so rare in our planet (But…why don't you love our so romantic country?)

    These two items are a kind of portal toward your world…a kind of way to know you better…

    One thing is sure since 1982 (yes!!! i found skin and crusade cassettes in a obscur discount/second hand shop, the sleeves were so "beautiful" sigh): i'm not mistaken on you, despite the distance

    Happy birthday, Steve!!!
    PS you'll be always welcome in France…ouups..sorry in Normandy…

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2009 at 5:43 pm #

    Hi Steve,

    Happy belated birthday! And since today's mine, it's even better for me to extend the late greetings to a fellow Virgo! Hope you enjoyed. 🙂 Much love, Jonna
    P.S. Nice vid yesterday!

  25. avatar
    EDD | 15 September 2009 at 8:00 pm #

    You're lucky you remember at least some of it, hey Steve?

  26. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 15 September 2009 at 8:08 pm #

    That song "Sealine" is rather brilliant and it augments "June", "Telepath", "Song In Space', "Maya" and "Don't You Fall" on one of the greatest CDs ever recorded in the chronicles of progressive and psychedelic rock/space music.

  27. avatar
    plumlady | 15 September 2009 at 8:15 pm #

    You are a lucky, talented and handsome man to be sure. With a life of long stories to look back on in your old age (that's still a bit off in the distance). The songs speak for themselves and yet they speak of you also; amazing stuff.

    I'm still giving the yoga my best go, but it's slow in the process. Sweating all over the mat, someone told me to get a Yogitoes mat towel, have you heard of it?

  28. avatar
    stealthblue | 15 September 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    Yes you are lucky indeed, Steve. That was quite a sum-up…really cool actually, like flashes of memory.

    Sorry guys,
    but "ANON 9:16"
    Are you for real???

    That's right, Steve, you're not a "Rock Star" any more. Actually, you are much MORE THAT THAT!! A TRUE artist. You are more to so many people than just a mere "Rock Star." That is such a stupid expression anyway…"rock star". PPPFFFT! Right up there with "(insert country of origin here) Idol." It just makes me think of some little spikey-haired jerk kid with dad's credit card…rock star! FUNNY!!

    In all seriousness, man, thank you for EVERYTHING you do and share with us, even if THE idiot "anon Barry" wants you all for him/herself. C'mon, is that for real??

    Personally, it makes my life that much more enjoyable knowing there is something like this blog (in the very least) to gravitate to…like-minded folks etc.. Beats most other shite floating around cyber-space.

    Anyway, all the best to you Steve & family, and to ALL of YOU other friends/fans. Cheers.

    Ben V.

  29. avatar
    cazziem | 15 September 2009 at 11:51 pm #

    Hey Anon at 9.16 PM, do us all a favour, create your own blog, but don't forget to give the SK/ttb followers the link so we can make sure to avoid it!

    I checked the site meter for you prior to writing this, which today currently stands at 403! That's a hell of a lot more than 20 – 60 you prick!

    Further more, personally it's been less than 20 weeks, let alone 20 years since I first heard of the church and SK, so me thinks maybe you are overdue a hearing test, or is it that do not have the ability to read more than two words together and are therefore unable to understand what is being written?

    You are wasting your time even trying to say that SK is no longer this, or no longer that; he CANNOT be labelled! Or maybe you're just on the wrong blog moron; perhaps it's Steve Katz you were looking for – this one is Steve Kilbey?

    Whatever the reason for your inane verbal diarrhoea, I suggest you stop wasting your one and only brain cell and leave us cultured people around the globe to enjoy what we KNOW always has been, and always will be pure genius.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 12:06 am #

    Anon at 9:16pm,

    Unfortunately I agree with you 100%
    You put it really well.

    Let go SK

    Yes, us fan’s are more of a hindrance then a blessing in the end.


  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 12:30 am #

    At the level that you’re operating at, your art will at best simply pay it’s way.
    And that is an achievement in itself.

    Your name still has some cache, and your fan base around the world will guarantee regular returns on whatever you release.
    Your main ‘brand’, the Church, has further reach and there is always the chance that you luck out with a ‘hit’.
    The signs are that you are moving towards a major statement, a masterpiece no less, so who knows.
    Of course the church has a patron.

    Your painting could also blossom into something great but it’s not going to pay the bills I fear.

    At the level that you’re operating at, your art will at best simply pay it’s way.
    It won’t support your family especially as the kids start secondary schooling.

    The points that anon at 9.16pm makes ring true to me

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 1:54 am #

    dear sk
    i'm your biggest fan , now let me give you some good advice because i care about you so much
    give up man
    lay down your hand
    throw in the towel
    abandon hope
    go off n do something else
    i'm your best friend
    i'm some sincere patronizing ninny
    look youre no longer a rockstar
    get a job in a factory
    for the kids sake
    for humanities sake
    lets face it old bean
    your pathetic n sad n over the hill
    i mean i say that with all dew respect
    i mean i dont want to insult you
    but what you do now is woeful
    and i have to read it every day
    to make sure its still as bad as i thought
    good god man i hope you dont mind me saying how bad you are
    i mean its for the best
    turn off the lifeline
    go gently into that good night
    become an engine driver or something
    get an education
    eat some meat
    try to grow up
    save up some money
    do the right thing
    i know you wont mind me saying how badly you suck
    because thats the truth
    give up…please…before ….its too late
    stop writing these blogs please

    your #1 fan


  33. avatar
    Tim_G | 16 September 2009 at 2:19 am #

    Hi SK – enjoyed the blog today – got to read your bio in a few short minutes. So concise, and not a word wasted – always like that about how you write in the blog and in your lyrics.

    An additional thought to selling hand-written lyrics would be to produce an album of your's and Church tunes as lullabies for parents to play to their bubs – already being done by some dudes for other notable and less notable bands >

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 2:56 am #

    yours truly hahaha

    give up this nonsense Steve
    retire or go off and do something else. Why don't you go get a real job in a Gov. factory ?
    Please give it some thought, while eating some Kobe meat.

  35. avatar
    Kalichakra | 16 September 2009 at 3:53 am #

    Happy birthday wishes Steve.

    If we are to give up on creativity, we have no beauty in our world. The world needs as much love and creativity as it can get. Age is no barometer. Herald Budd started recording in his 50's and has been making sublime music into his 70's.

    Anon… for you to give any kind of advice at all given your absolute lack of heart and soul is pointless. Save yourself while you still can. Get help before you die bitter and old.

  36. avatar
    Assmidget | 16 September 2009 at 4:01 am #

    I remember my first guitar, Applause strat look alike. 2 years later at 16 I got my first Bass which i still have today.

  37. avatar
    eek | 16 September 2009 at 4:02 am #

    Anons at 9:16 PM and 10:30 AM, and PV — y'all sure give a different meaning to the term Birthday Bash. 😉

    Anon at 11:54 AM — lol!

    Steve — although I have no problem with you doing whatever you need to do to make a viable living (and god — if there is one…or more — knows there have been times I've screamed "do it, damn it!" at my monitor when you ponder on here whether or not to do something particularly commercial), I also think you would be a very unhappy camper if you gave up your creativity to "move on" and get a "real" job. Your well of creativity is what makes you at 55 more vibrant and vital than many of us have ever been or ever will be. Don't lose that. Not only would that not be good for you, it wouldn't be good for your family either.

    PS: PV — I'm quite sure that you aren't THE PV, but on the tiny, tiny chance that you are THE PV…no more rides from me, buster! 😉

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 5:47 am #

    You can be creative and make a living.
    I was not suggesting that the two are separate.
    Perhaps I was harsh, I just think there comes a time when it's not all about what you want.
    Surely the father of 5 children would have learned this by now.
    You could be so much more, still creative as that is your essence but there must balance right.
    Perhaps Nk is from money and you know you don't have to worry about money in the end.
    But if not, you have the very real future of you children and your age to think about.If you dropped dead tomorrow would you family be OK. I'm not talking about relying on fans for donations. It's not too late Steven.
    I loved the Church.
    I'm not a barry, but when I post something negative on here, it attracts other negative comments.
    I am surprised that your so called astute readers always think one person is responsible for all negative comments.
    I also post a lot of positive comments.
    Your fans are a selfish bunch when it comes to you. Except for eek.
    What do your friends say?

  39. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 16 September 2009 at 7:27 am #

    Anonymity on these here internets seems to give the testicle-less so much more balls.



  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 10:03 am #

    are you an anon ?
    Sometimes it can sound so much like
    the anti you, it may be you.

    If not, stop publishing this crap.
    It is turning music month sour.
    Jay ,melb,vic

  41. avatar
    A. Kite | 16 September 2009 at 10:04 am #

    I challenge all of the laughable anons to post your future comments with a Blogger identity. You hide behind the anonymous screen to post your cowardly drivel. You won't do it, because you're all a bunch of bed-wetting nobodies, has-beens, wanna-bes and failures.

  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 10:12 am #

    all you negative anon assholes
    mind your own bullshit and just

    PISS OFF!!

  43. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 16 September 2009 at 11:16 am #

    rather turbulent around here at the moment, don't you think?

    are you sure the anon at 11:54 wasn't you, steve? strange echoes of you in some of the phrases…..

    love always….

  44. avatar
    lily was here | 16 September 2009 at 11:30 am #

    Anon you say you're his no 1 fan but seriously, just that one suggestion "go eat some meat" shows absolutely no respect for Steve at all.

  45. avatar
    the Field Note | 16 September 2009 at 2:17 pm #

    Anon at 3:47

    Just wondering how you know what's best for somebody else… There's "your business" and "none of your business". Clearly, how someone chooses to live their life falls into the latter category. Your comments came off as patronizing and arrogant. Not to mention that we know NOTHING about your life. Yours is not on display to pick apart. I applaud anyone who puts their heart out there in such an open and honest way. Given the reward is low with this f'ing crowd of detractors who constantly suck the energy out of this particular person's pursuits.

    Anyways, trying to live the life of an artist has never been easy – at any time in history. Steve has chosen this path – which is incredibly difficult and brave. Bravo! He didn't choose your path. And from what I gather here, he has also chosen to be open and genuine.

    Man, what do I think the world needs? More corporate suits and half asleep shells chasing money? Or, wild dreamers sacrificing financial gain to follow their bliss… The money makers are destroying the world. It's a harsh place to live – give me more art.

  46. avatar
    Ellen | 16 September 2009 at 3:49 pm #

    To Anon at 3:47 PM:

    "…Your fans are a selfish bunch when it comes to you…"

    You do not know the FIRST thing about me, and one thing I can say for certainty about you is this: You are a coward.

    Buzz off.

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 4:15 pm #

    you know what it's incredible here: idolized steve prints it all. he desperately needs advice from ALL sources, be it "negative ninnies" or "positive knows-it-all". can't it give all of you some thought or insight? he does this blog not only for the sake of art and donations. it is more a collective therapy or a self-help book under construction. the issue is that both "positive" and "negative" guys and gals need to understand that steve can't figure it out. that's what makes him charming? perhaps. that's what makes him ridiculous? perhaps. that's what makes him creative? for sure.
    in fact, steve needs fans, we all know that. "bad" fans, "good" fans, groupie fans (some become his wives or lovers), strange fans, artistic fans, boring fans, rich fans (some become patrons), poor fans. this is how he envisions life, the steve kilbey pole vs. fans pole. he only exists thanks to this opposition. that's why this blog is so fundamental these days when tours and records are scant. there's nothing wrong about it, it's just that this is a never-ending blah blah. you "good" fans who bash "bad" fans should get the spirit: steve WANTS this otherwise he wouldn't give a shit about these anon comments, he wouldn't print them at all to begin. so there's a lot he takes from "bad" fans too. he is taking. and taking. get used to that.
    but, oh no, of course, this is the space saviours army coming for steve kilbey's emotional rescue. in the end, i can assure you that he cares a lot more about the "bad" fans 😉

  48. avatar
    EDD | 16 September 2009 at 7:35 pm #

    Anon and on…and on and on……

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2009 at 8:27 pm #

    You're Back!
    I love you nong.

    Nong nong nong,
    nongie nong nong
    nong nong nong…

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 12:43 am #

    I wish the Anonymous poster who is bashing Steve would quit his dumb, mean spirited comments and get a life.
    I may not agree with Steve Kilbey about everything, but his music has given myself and all of the fans much joy ever since the Church began 29 years ago.
    If he continues to post here, he should at least be civil and respectful toward Steve.

  51. avatar
    Vic | 23 September 2009 at 3:36 pm #

    A brief mystery of time

    By Stephen Hawkilb

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