posted on February 11, 2009 at 7:57 pm

i fly to argentina
where my sister lives
but when i arrive
ive already split into a loada different people
my sister is waiting for us at the aeropuerte
dressed like i dunno what
i must say for an olde girl pushing 55
she looks pretty damn good
el maymi has flown down with me
because his dad is the argentinian minister for defence
and because we’re hoping to mix our new record
at silverado studio in a leafy little street
just off the main drag
that damn kathy who is my twin my double my opposite
she knows how to hurt me
needling me about things i didnt think i’d done
mentioning embarassing things
only she and i know about
of course kathys got twins
and their twins have got twins
so it looks like little scarlet k
is the only monozygotic kilbey extant
oh kathy it hurts to see you becoming old, my love…
you know steven you always know how to cheer me up…
steven if youre a vegan..that chocolate is not vegan my dear
kathy, if you were a vegan, youd look as young as me
steven as a painter youre a good bassplayer
kathy as a sister youre a good enemy
steven threw yabbies at our uncle ken, ricky
kathy stole dads cigarettes and got caught being sick
he was in the sea cadets!
she was a fucking brownie!
he dated carmel farquar
she dated moose bostick, the school bully
bullshit!
its true..
she reaches out from driving n flips me in the face
its bullshit!
ricky in the backseat : whoah!
we drop him off at silverado
he seems a little miffed with the in-fighting
and he hefts his guitar n suitcase of pedals in silence
and some guy appears to let him in
me and kathy drive off
nice fucking work you upset our mr ricky
no bullshit you upset him by going on
i didnt go on
yes you did
no you went on…i tried to ameliorate everything…
…and made it worse…
the conversation goes on like this
we arrive at the hacienda …gee…not bad….
but you didnt get this yourself…
what d’you mean by that…?
you married a rich fucking author n he got it for you
yeah…maybe he’ll marry you too…if youre nice
i laugh
i would marry the bastard if he’d get me a joint like this
we go inside
different mes go in different rooms
the angry nasty me in a gentle balcony room
the patient nice me has a room near the kids
the handsome straight up me is in the guest room
and the ugly crooked me in a caravan in the garden
kathys husband esteban
well he reminds me of me
what with his fucking white little beard
his freckly skin
the angles of his face
and oh no
i cannot fucking believe the dude sports 2 gold rings
just like….errr me….and errr kathy too for that matter
jesus christo i say
kathy you married a spanish version of moi!
you vain ninny…youre the whatever version of him!
and dig this
esteban has a twin sister too!
is she here?
no but shes coming!
how old is he…are they…?
54 she smirked
what star sign?
virgo! she said triumphantly
youre trying to do my head in!
esteban spoke pretty good english
i had read some of his books
and christ!
i had to admit they were pretty good…
kathy: why did you HAVE to admit it….?
esteban poured me some sangria
it had some chili in it it was delicious
we smoked some good dope
esteban likes the good things in life… kathy says
so do i …i say cheerfully raising my glass
oh but he can afford them says kathy winking at her smug hubby
oohh …i say..but cant think of anything much cleverer than that
estebans sister arrives…conesuela
jesus shes like the rest of us
freckly
fine brown hair
middle aged
angular
slightly rude
and slightly ok
only slightly
she rather got my back up to tell you the truth
much to kathys delight
the woman began needling me about this n that
have you read borges she asks in her snooty way
yes i say i love him
which ones have read? she asks
well that one where he has to ah..imagine..uh..
the 2 argentinians frown at me
the twin sister smirks…yeah you know that smirk…
the argentinians start to do me like a tennis table team
firing questions at me
and giving each other the answers
before i can even muster a wrong mutter
my status as renaissance man is revoked
we put on my latest record im working on
everyone sits there bored for a while
then they start to talk through it
in the middle of my new opus
fucking esteban gets up n puts something else on
astrid gilberto or something
fuck it
why cant things go the way i want
even in my own story
my own sister
my own flesh n bloody blood
kathy serves up some coffee
dont eat all the biscuits you pig! she hisses in my ear
i dont even like them ! i whisper back
then why have you eaten 4 already?
it wasnt 4…or…(a quick mental calculation) or sorry
she smirks again
she shakes her head
you see
kathy is just an old smart ass housewife
living it up in buenos aires
dabbling in whatever shes dabbling in
the kids are ok
the nice patient me doesnt mind em
the youngest is sixteen
the old horrible me doesnt like em
bloody horrible music he bitches all thru dinner
esteban rolls another perfect spliff
mind if i add little of this? he says
he taps something into it from a small bottle
whatever i shrug
the next day at the studio
thats today!
wow you look awful! laughs our mr ricky
musta been good right?
its kinda soft n rainy outside
its real kathy weather
she must love it here
i write a little instrumental piece
im gonna call it kathys cloud i say to her later
ugh! she says
and pours out more sangria

25 Responses to “kathys cloud”

  1. avatar
    Kathy Kilbey | 11 February 2009 at 10:18 pm #

    Don’t tell em too much brother!

  2. avatar
    princey | 11 February 2009 at 10:32 pm #

    U seem to like the name Conesuela, reminds me of Erskine’s Conesuela in that excellent little book of yours, Esteban. Will the magician make an appearance soon @TTB???? Hope so 🙂
    love Amanda

  3. avatar
    CSTCoach | 11 February 2009 at 11:18 pm #

    really enjoying these past few days of blogg…

    what qualifies one as a renaissance man? i’m bookish, i write and publish poetic prose, and i can fight real well. does that get me in? renaissance men were good at fencing…

    hey kilbee, i got an idea from yestaday’s blog. or maybe it was a headache. no… it was an idea. you paint paintings on commission. what about commissioned blogs? there are several things i’d like to pick your considerable brains on. name yer price for a blogge commission. it may be a great way to supplement the subscriptions.

    and we can tar and feather anyone who attempts to commission the heyday story.

    what do you think?

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 February 2009 at 11:29 pm #

    Cathys cloud nine

  5. avatar
    steve kilbey | 12 February 2009 at 12:14 am #

    excellent idea cst coach
    blogges may be commissioned for
    50 a short blogge
    100 bucks a norbal blogge
    150 an extra long blogge
    250 kilbeys retires with rsi blogge
    payable up front in australian zlotys

  6. avatar
    fantasticandy | 12 February 2009 at 12:53 am #

    ahhh killer…..
    what a great blog!
    loved yesterdays too.
    haven’t been able to talk for a few days….thanks hellbound, i’m ok.
    but…
    people…iv’e just had a real bad episode of self-doubt.
    for the last week iv’e had a total loss of worth.
    i felt like all my stuff was shit and that i was an utter charlatan. foisting my third-rate shit on anyone who would listen.
    wev’e sold fuck-all records and never will, half my gears blown-up, and there’s conflict in the band……….
    i was supposed to send some stuff to timbo months ago and i just lost my ‘bottle’ thinking i must be mad to even think about it, saying to myself ‘who the fuck do you think you are you idiot..your’e just gonna look a fool.’
    i felt like everything iv’e done was a pile of crap.
    and then..somehow or other…out of nowhere almost…
    i salvaged this little improvised piece that we did a couple of weeks back….
    i put some keys on it, and tidied it up a bit….and bugger me!
    iv’e been jumping around my little studio thinking ‘this is bloody awesome!’
    someone, somewhere is gonna LOVE this!

    steve….i have been to a place you have been to many times these last few days…..

    i fookin’ adore you killer….
    i don’t think i could have made it through without you.
    i think you made me realise it’s worth doing simply BECAUSE IT IS.
    and that that’s the ONLY reason you need.
    thanks for sharing…even at the darkest times.
    love and respect to ya,
    your’e an inspiration!
    all the best,
    andy L.

  7. avatar
    Freddie | 12 February 2009 at 12:57 am #

    Kathy,
    You’re fairer by far than Steve
    and I really dig yer shirt! 😀
    lol

  8. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 12 February 2009 at 2:02 am #

    blurring the line between reality and imagined…..so what was it that was sprinkled into the spliff? hmmmm….tell ya what, an enormous crop of gold top mushrooms has been spontaneously growing in my veggie patch over the last few weeks…..hmmmm indeedie……
    love always……

  9. avatar
    PAGEY | 12 February 2009 at 2:09 am #

    kilbey, one thing to say, you are the perfect hue of blue. so human, ultra talented, i can accept the side effects of the perfect hue of blue, iridescent eye slants back to self every 2 seconds. But the hue, it is you…..
    And i enjoy donating every month for the pleasure of reading your perfect blog. Man I read Tomas Dolby’s blog. That guy is such a closed case of commercial rain unto science. Such a shame that so many people these days are disrespecting their ancestors in lieu of a purchase plan for scientific journals…

  10. avatar
    PAGEY | 12 February 2009 at 2:12 am #

    I hate how you cannot read what you just posted to the comments of the daily blog anymore. fucking idiot jealous wannabees who target true blue hue being kilbey. shame on them, they probably are close in mind to those who torch dry bush to see if it creates a firestorm they can run from….Love you all…kilbey shoots perfect sperm!! faithful subscriber…XXOOX

  11. avatar
    Richard | 12 February 2009 at 2:55 am #

    what about some optional extras?

    $5 a pun (buy 2 get pun three!)

    ben tucks a spoonerism

    (ho ho)

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 February 2009 at 5:04 am #

    "B L A N K"

    Seagulls, seagulls. Sirens, sirens. Beacons, beacons.
    Something else.
    Family.

    – Please, let me unravel these knots in your mind.
    – There is knot a not.
    – Don't be clever, give me your "in it".
    – Why if I never get pleased enough?
    – True. Why?
    – I asked first.
    – Your question was rhetoric.
    – I have the rhetoric of doubt.
    – And I can't answer.
    – Ok, I still would like something.
    – From which kind?
    – Please put some trees where it's hazy and dark.
    – Fine. Needing oxygen, huh?
    – Yeah, kinda.
    – There is a devastated piece of earth here. Too vast. How can I?
    – I dunno. Do what you know.
    – It looks like Victoria. A huge dancing fire consumed your flowers…
    – Is it black & white there now?!
    – Nope. Black & white reminds me of those early 90's videos looking like serious commercials featuring gay Apollos…
    – Thanks for that reference, I'd never have it.
    – It's a shame.
    – So how is the landscape looking like today?
    – Baby, it's far worse than you think.
    – Wow. Tell me the colours.
    – Indescribable greens pass through the sky while fireflies leave incandescently…
    – Oh my. You're giving me poetry. I want the colours.
    – I never know what you want.
    – I'm telling you now.
    – I wanted to know before you told me.
    – You want many impossible things.
    – Why impossible?
    – Because you want it.
    – Ok. Savage green, deep green, catholic green, scorched green, muddy green, murky green…
    – Still poetry, dear.
    – Yes. That's it: "Still Poetry"
    (Apples for your aches
    While the watermelon lies
    Naked amongst the grapes
    A little boy squeezes it
    Exquisite sunsweet
    Bleeding sin
    In São Tomé Street)
    – Oh no.
    – Bad?
    – Good but wrong timing.
    – I don't know about your greens or your fire or your earth or your fucking whatever. I only know my poetry. Satisfied?
    – Perfect. This must be the right green.

    Hey, dear: it's AstrUd Gilberto, not Astrid, haha. I was in Buenos Aires last month, ah, what a city. Tell Kathy and Esteban to come to Brasil some time. Not to Rio though, this city infested with barbarism.

  13. avatar
    Pethanasius Arnath | 12 February 2009 at 7:56 am #

    next tyme they ask you about jorge luis just tell them you loved that little story about that singer walking through the desert but it must have been the library. asstrut gilberto’s version of “dindi” does to me what angel eyes did to you, though..

  14. avatar
    captain mission | 12 February 2009 at 10:42 am #

    i’ve lost the plot totally. i went for a surf at bondi on sunday and the water was iceberg cold, they were pulling people out with hypothermia despite millions of english and brazilian peoples wandering around half naked in the heat.
    hellbound send me some gold tops. it’s been a long time.
    my friend went to argentina
    and said they have good steaks. i thought that was a weird and slightly scarey thing to say so i never really warmed to the idea of going there. although you make it sound kinda interesting.

  15. avatar
    crack in smile | 12 February 2009 at 11:32 am #

    Hello, SK.

    After Borges, try Julio Cortazar. And don’t forget a good bottle of Catena Zapata. Make sure it will be a malbec one.

    Fantasia in it’s must, just like you do…

    Cheers.

  16. avatar
    catchow | 12 February 2009 at 12:01 pm #

    Argentina evokes for me a good but
    whimsical tennis player…
    here,the heroine is your sister Kathy”is this where she lives”?
    “Kathy’clown” too, cos’ that multi twins story was rather funny!
    the two parts of you:Kilbey good and Kilbey bad makes me think to an amazing book i’ve read some years ago:”The Other”…

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 February 2009 at 12:18 pm #

    CST, we had the Heyday blog and extremely wonderful it was too!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 February 2009 at 1:55 pm #

    Mission: Argentina is terrific. The North is scarry with its vast nothings around the road but if you explore it deeper, if you actually get into it, you may find desolation is decorated with pompous vestiges of the pre-colombian civilizations meaning fortresses ruins, indigenous villages etc. Recently, three completely conserved children who were sacrificed in an incan ritual 500 years ago were found at the top of a volcano and were moved to an archeology museum. But, ok, if you don’t like such exoticism, then go to Buenos Aires, “the Paris of South America”. Ultra organised city with people practicing the “gentle traffic”, cafes and superb restaurants (for modest prices, especially for a gringo) in each corner, great fashion commerce (although it lacks diversity), people wearing bold colours, talking politely and also parks where you can quietly feed the swans and ducks, exquisite museums like MALBA featuring the crème de la crème of latin american art (the modern collection is breathtaking) AND a gorgeous architectural completion. It’s pretty cosmopolitan. And there’s also Puerto Madero, such a lovely harbour to walk by with hype restaurants, but no beach around, it was artificially built for the huge river Rio de la Plata. Mar Del Plata is the closest beach to Buenos Aires and it is four hours ahead of the city. I don’t believe there are many magic realists in Bs As though, they’re more inclined to live in Chile, Peru and Amazonic Brasil (there are at least 5 different Brasis) where they can engage in shamanic rituals.
    Ah, about the steaks… well, not my kinda food, but the argentinians are masters, yes. It thoroughly disgusted me to see almost entire animals spinning under the fire behind vitrines in the most expensive steak-houses there. But, well, after all, it’s all cultural, they’re proud of their hunting skills, it means conquest for them, kinda spanish actually. Brazilians are “softer” or less eager about this particular business.
    And if paradise beaches interest you, Mission, go to sweet Uruguay. Punta Del Este is Latin America’s Meditarranée. Or come to Ipanema in Rio, of course, but ignore the surroundings if you’re brave enough.

  19. avatar
    facetious | 12 February 2009 at 3:02 pm #

    Wonder what Barry’s up to these days?

  20. avatar
    ScaughtFive | 12 February 2009 at 4:31 pm #

    – Have you read Borges?

    – I dunno, can you get that off a toilet seat?

    (cue rimshot/cymbal crash)

  21. avatar
    peter perrett's parents | 12 February 2009 at 5:02 pm #

    Steve, is it true that Grant ran an Only Ones fanzine in ’78? Did you talk to him about em much? Was he jealous that you’d seen em in London in 1978?

  22. avatar
    davem | 12 February 2009 at 7:55 pm #

    Those calves AND spanish eyes killer? Too much, methinks.
    Glad you’re ok Andy. Top, top guy you are matey.
    Great news about all the churchie stuff sk!!
    xx

  23. avatar
    Melquiades | 13 February 2009 at 12:46 pm #

    Astrud…so boss

  24. avatar
    Melquiades | 13 February 2009 at 12:48 pm #

    ????

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 February 2009 at 3:42 pm #

    hmm


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