posted on January 9, 2006 at 10:35 pm

bonjour fiendss
i have no idea what im gonna write today
im in a diffrent caff for a start
its actually a convenience store
with a few computahs in ye olde window
a little bit o’l’initative
a quick cokey colah
a bit o la gelatine sweeties
a munch o monosodium gluteous korne chipps
which reappear
as chipps on yer shoulder
a packet of paradise beach lights 50s
(have your own sea
in yer lungs)
a gossip raggy or two
oh you mean fabulously welfy
aktas get happy and sad
and fat and finn
and marrid and schplittsky
and bourne and dye….
and the pictures to prooove it
any way
someone has left my preset button on rant
and had cause to hit it HARD
my attack is turned way up
no release
no decay
total sustain
im jus’ gonna adjust the ole sk
software here
im gonna tweak a few dials
hang on……
sound of seat being put in
from a distance we hear.
look…hello…can i just reserve my computah for a few secs
yeah no. 2 in ye olde windowe
yeah i know i’ll keep on paying…

ok im back
i smoked a joint of maui wowie
i took some owsley lsd
i did extract of condensed chi gong-y
prana yawna
swam the bay
wrestled a giant “straight”
who had risen from its murky bed
and had tried to drag me down to its lair
to feed me to its
ravenous young
so here i am
the way you expect me
washed and ready to read
new leaf turn over
thats the way
im always here you know
voices in my head tell me
what to write
they compete
i already told you that
sk basically just a machine
that selects the voices
a mental chairmaan
ok mr rant, what have you got to say fer yerself…?
alright mr sentimentle how was bully high today…?
mr jealous, whos character will ya ass sass inate tooday
mr modest…ahh we dont hear much from you…do we…?
mr humble……where you been druid?
mr show off….no you done had yer say for today
mr arty, got any etchings?
mr druggy, please wake up
mr funny, are you in charge of this section???

long breaths
must relax
my brain is storming
mem o rees
soother nears

where was i?
all over the plaice
where were you?
we were here
why do i pretend to answer
for some 2nd party
when its just me?
we dont know either

swedish gurlss last day
in austrayliah
sk understandably a little misty
get over it olde beane
strange to have teenage daughters
and all the rest of it
dont lay no boogie woogie
on the king of rocknroll
mah dortahs…
how can 2 identical people
be so different
like 2 different singers
doing the same lovely song
emphasising different bits
harder and softer
on opposite things
so alike that i still confuse em,
much to their chagrin

and so at completely
opposite ends of the
whole deal

someone said to me
i dunno how 1 manne
can have 5 beautiful daughters..?!
i go
ha ha yeah…
but later
i think of all the things that
go wrong
and i feel blessed
and grateful
thus far
because my daughters are
not a badde lot
(as modern kidss go)

roxette on radio
i do not mourn their demise sir
waste of three minutes
of yer preshuss time
listen to yer heart indeed
if they hadda done that
that woulda nae have written
this fucking tripe

oh mr rant
your back….!

hot steamy day in sydney
sun breaks thru black cloudies
wham bang
you got some serious hugh middity, bubba
never mind
canberra was hot and dry
emphasising the fact that
yer in
the middle
of nowhere

my olde house
which in my day
sat on top
of a hot dry hill
is now a mansion
replete w/
willows a weeping
tropical lanscapin’
cape kodpiece
stucco stuccorl ovah it
transformed, my patrons
the phantom yooffull sk
flitting its corridors
violin basse strapped on
at all times
pudding bowl prince valiant
flannel shirty levi faded
washed out pimple creamed
marc bowlin’ on the wall
my dad says
only clever thing about that bastard
is that he can spell tyrannosaurus

maybe the new owners
can still faintly hear
25 or 6 to 4
going round and round

well believe it or knot
but thus far
la blogge has taken up nearly an hour
in that time
a load a awful music
on ye olde radioh
loads o nasty munchies
and tocksick sodahs
wracked up

what a spot for an olde bohemian jeanius
upfront in the window
of ye olde fucken conveenients store
everyone together now
i’ll get over it fiends
im sensitive
but im tough too
i will survive
i did it my whey
hey hey

24 Responses to “la blog de le ettiene kilb-eye”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 January 2006 at 11:55 pm #

    I believe that people who don’t understand rants may be people who don’t feel strongly about things. Bad music IS something to get worked up about. Every time I hear a car booming down the street playing that rap stuff…


  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 12:25 am #

    we call that doof-doof. we don’t like it much.

  3. avatar
    MikeA | 10 January 2006 at 12:27 am #

    Lots of bad music out there for sure – it’s hard to listen to any of these bands today – I don’t find any of it creative or meaningful anymore-thanks for your music sk – otherwise I don’t know what I’d listen to

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 12:46 am #

    Speakin of mewsic, I hear you guys are doing somethin at the commonwealth games : fast forward to March.
    You guys hit the stage with really short hair , resplendent with coconut oil suntans , all 55Kg’s each after a 3 month regime at Fitness First includin dietary supplements ( free of charge ofcourse thanks to the illegal sponsorship sign behind the band) & you belt out a supercharged medley of One Day, Electric & Too Fast For You.
    That aint gonna happin but it’s still good you’re there.

    Dutch Pierre

  5. avatar
    eek | 10 January 2006 at 12:54 am #

    “someone has left my preset button on rant”

    Oh, I think that might have been me. Ooops! Sorry about that.

    I rather like the many faces you show here, they make you even more interesting (didn’t think that was possible, did you? ­čśë ).

    Lovely bit about your daughters. You are lucky to have 5 beautiful daughters, but did you ever realise they are equally lucky to have you? Just reading through your blog shows such caring, concern and understanding for them, even if you are completely confused sometimes (you the father of girls — it’s a given you’ll be completely confused sometimes).

    And one more thing — why does reading your blog make me examine my life?

  6. avatar
    esskayer | 10 January 2006 at 1:39 am #

    Well the image of the Kilbey sitting in a convene yance store (do you have 7-Eleven’s?) eating korne nuttes and drinking tocksick sodahs was enough to make my day after sitting behind a desk for eight hrs. w/the other drones. I rate this one a 9.5 on the funny-ometer, and a TWO BIG THUMBS UP! Hope you’re not “cringing” SK, as some buddy pointed out, over my “rating” your blog. Oh, the blasphemy! Oh, so totally UN-cool man! Well i promise I won’t rate ’em anymore, I’ll just continue making dumb comments. This Korne Nutte’s for you, SK…

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 3:45 am #

    Oh & maybe an encore of Ladyboy as a steroid reference …

    Dutch Pierre

  8. avatar
    buzby | 10 January 2006 at 3:45 am #

    good shit… although, we need the badde music to know what’s good. ­čśë

  9. avatar
    Dosty | 10 January 2006 at 4:20 am #

    How about tight lycra green and gold body suits, with kilbey holding aloft burning bass cath freeman style. Rock’n’roll aerobics.

  10. avatar
    Dauphin | 10 January 2006 at 4:24 am #

    I say, that may be very well, but don’t you think, I mean if you really look at it obliquely, that there should be one extra asterisk in the 8th line of yer exponential fade…?

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 4:52 am #

    Ya mean ya got a blog but no COMPUDAH???? Ain’t that like havin’ an elektrik basse with no AMP??

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 5:02 am #

    Mr. Kilbey: please do not diss Roxette. They were the BEST of the BEST of the talentless crap Euro poseurs. Just because they could not write a song to save their life does not mean they didn’t have value.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 5:06 am #

    Adam is right. An ok guy ­čÖé once admired the lotus flower because it grew out of the mud.

  14. avatar
    ml | 10 January 2006 at 6:01 am #

    im so desperate for something new and good that Ive just discovered Dylan…man, what a trip!! 40 years late and loving it!!!
    its the best thing ive ever heard (present company excluded of course of course)

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 6:15 am #

    try having to work in a place like that and listen to that tripe all day!

  16. avatar
    esskayer | 10 January 2006 at 8:15 am #

    General rant in overdrive
    Nightmare descent into Roxette City
    Korn Chippe dust heralds our arrival
    Some “straights” are gonna
    git their’s soon
    Oh my God SK’s threatened again
    in the bitstream pull of a 7-Eleven
    Plummet in some sleepless dive
    Down here on Earth
    it sure ain’t heaven

    Euro Backpackuh in the Bondi crowd
    Who always got to beg for a dime
    Steve’s interrupted by a sea of drones
    He didn’t think
    they were invented then
    Oh my Lord he needs cigarettes
    He needs more chipps and Coke
    He needs rolling papers and personal favours
    He needs a computah that isn’t broke

    How can you be so convenient?
    Give me that terminal three
    Sacrilege on sacrilege
    A cafe of discovery….
    (the music fades as SK finishes his korne chippes)

  17. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 10 January 2006 at 8:58 am #

    sitting cross-legged on the floor
    all we are saying is give
    peace, love and understanding
    a chances are
    if i wear a silly grin
    waiting for the break of day
    (horn flourish)
    glad to hear you dig olde chicago
    25 or 6 to 4
    is one groovy tune

    problem is, puccifish
    can’t even buy a “best of” chicago
    ‘cuz half of the songs
    are the peter cetera ballads
    from the 80s
    (now there’s some putrid crap for ya)

    worse, i dare say,
    a worse offense
    than every air supply song
    with “love” in the title

  18. avatar
    annie | 10 January 2006 at 9:57 am #

    SK you keep mentioning 25 or 6 to 4.My god,Chicago were my first intro to a “rock” concert,my brothers took me to the Hordern when i was 12 and i’m still going many moons later
    love to all

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 11:13 am #

    ouch – if this took you an hour to write…that costs a fortune in those sad arse c-stores!

    sad that your babies are leaving.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 12:52 pm #

    Dear Sk,

    Thank you for your words
    you’re a great summoner of images, of memories
    With ” in a dark wood, wondering” you teleport me in
    a kind of cyclone eye,
    a peaceful haven of tranquility,
    a time travel toward my teenager era.

    Thank you steve,
    my kindred soul (sorry for my pretentiousness…but i’m french…Haha)
    I have always feel a sort of mysterious link between us despite the fact we

    don’t know each other.
    I share lots of things with the visible side of your inner universe:

    *the sound of the 12 strings guitar, choirs synths and other ambient

    *the attraction for greek and nordic mythology,
    *the fantasy and sci-fi imagery,
    *playing with words,
    *surrealism and psychedelism,
    *beautiful shirts (french are so fashion-victim…lol),
    *the 7th and sus4/9 chords,
    *your “shinny”, “bright”, “sunny” melancholy,
    *a certain weakness for ethereal female voives (sigh…donnette, mae…),
    *the 60’s,
    *a sweet regard on chillhood,
    *your schizophrenic angle of approach of the music (trad vs ambient vs

    electronic vs rock),

    sorry if this lil inventory seem to be childish…
    but the binary veil is an good way to say you this humble things…
    In the reality, when i met you in gigs…words melt in my mouth (i feel

    myself so ridiculous…)

    Voila, voila dear steve
    It is not a message from a psycho-fan
    it’s just a letter of a 40 year-old frenchman whose your music is the

    soundtrack of his life, a poor lonesome musician (dreaming to do some musical

    stuff with sk via the net…but only a dream…), a father,a social worker, a

    human being lost between the XX and XXI th centuries…please “indifference

    give me a fright…”

    Please carry on…Man


    PS: sorry for my english…
    May i tell you something about your last chronicle: we don’t say:”la blog de

    ettiene k.” but “le blog d’├ętienne Qu’il bey.” or “le blog de St├ęphane Qu’il


  21. avatar
    Joe Burns | 10 January 2006 at 2:35 pm #

    Apeaking of music… “Triumph” (from BW2B) is exactly that: a triumph! I can’t stop listening to it. SK you really out did yourself with that lil’jam. And the rest of the choich all deserve major props for their bits too… what an amazing swirling, pounding, pulsing, intoxicating and completely arresting peice of music! I don’t know what you guys tapped into for that one, but I hope you left a trail of bread crumbs so that you can go back there OFTEN!!!

  22. avatar
    matthew | 10 January 2006 at 2:40 pm #

    hi sk,

    just wanted to swoop in to say that my daughter is starting lyneham high next year… she’s superkeen and bright eyed about it all, we bought a sturdy schoolbag today in all the right colours. Well, she underwent the year 6 induction process, in which they assured an enquiring student that Lyneham has NO bullies! …so, there may be redemption in the generations after all.

    love the blog, essential daily reading.


  23. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 10 January 2006 at 3:49 pm #

    < <...the phantom yooffull sk...>>

    El fantasma del joven sk volando entre los pasillos, siempre acompa├▒ado de su bajo, pelo de principe valiente, camisa de levis descolorado, crema de espinillas en su rostro, marc bowlin’ en la pared, mi padre dice que lo unico ingenioso de este bastardo es que pueda deletrear tyrannosaurus

    La clase de Espa├▒ol ha termindo.

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 January 2006 at 9:44 pm #

    Seems like owsley the lsd man has moved to Australia. Maybe he`s your friendly neighbour (or maybe not) – grower of mushrooms and divine visions? Why not visit www. – the psychoactive plant community in cyberspace and beyond….
    By the way, let`s go to Basel this weekend and participate in Albert Hoffmann`s 100th birthday. A three day conference is being held in honour of this brilliant scientist who discovered lsd (and the world was never the same again).
    And live music, concerts and entertainment by Steve Hillage, Ozric Tentacles and Guru Guru. Space me out!

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