i feel a bit guilty

i could have made margots night happen a bit quicker

if i’d tried harder and hadnt been so “busy”

everytime she called to talk about it i was busy arguing

arguing with all the people in my life always unhappy with me

margot you called yourself my little sister and you were right

everything in this world has dazzled us and we become overwhelmed

margot called up : steven lets get my gig happening……

aw gee margot i’m so fucking busy arguing….

arguing with the geezas in my band

arguing with my daughters

arguing with stupid alcoholics and cloth eared philistines

arguing with women manipulating me with invisible strings

arguing with men offering cash or credit

fuck i was so busy doing nothing i couldnt see anything

if i’d exerted a bit of will

i could maybe have got that show last night on a bit sooner

while her ladyship was still with us on this plane

oh margot how proud i was of you last night

if only you could have seen

a room full of people loving your songs

margot you were just a child inside

no one understood you …how could they….?

your gifts you yourself didnt understand or even question

a maverick mercurial ability to sing perfectly

a way with words

always economic and to the point

i see pictures of you as a young woman

you were quite the looker too…werent you….

how did it all go so terribly wrong?

yeah i know

bad luck bad timing bad advice

always the booze weakening and undoing your strengths

the cigs which ruin beautiful voices

and time

sooner or later it all has to go wrong for everyone

we will all be redundant forgotten

our dreams fade into old embarrassing things

margot we all loved you ,…all the people on stage last night

we loved you as a precocious child full of enthusiasm and wild ideas

i sang some our songs

dream of course

and creature

2 of your more archetypal songs i guess

i loved them both

i was very happy to get to sing them

peter was there and tim and michael and david rule

all lending support to someone who no longer will be needing it

margot the proof was in the pudding

the evening was a great success

people were entertained and happy and

why werent you there……?

you would have finally gotten a bit of love back

you never really knew how it felt to do a big successful night

margot i’m sorry i put you off at the end of your life

i shoulda done something sooner

i could’ve but i was too damned self involved

fuck you shoulda been there margot

it was your night to shine on silver girl

i hope you were watching on from somewhere

i hope you reincarnate with all that talent but a bit  more luck

yeah

it was a really good night

you had some good people there for you

i mean peter and tim and i really believed in you

margot i did let you down with my hesitant procrastinations

you should have been there

i hope i never make a similar mistake again

margot you were really one of the best singers i ever heard

its a more boring world without you

i will always listen to the things we did together

your brother in all this lunacy

sk bondi sept 19th 2011

your birthday my darling little sister

i feel you with me from time to time

be free margot for a while

and then

return to this world

renewed