posted on May 17, 2009 at 3:59 am

we have truly entered another universe
tonight a galaxy of our biggest stars
will congregate
for the music awards :
the influx
the jiggy bay-o-nets
the zigger jackets
all of em up for a fucking gold doo dah
yeah the gold doo dah
the big one
every rocker in our multiverse coveted it
and they only dished em out
when both moons were blue
i rock up to the awards in mercury towers
just off merlin street
yeah yeah heres my i.d.
and heres my chicks i.d.
yeah yeah naturally
im hoping that my group
the elliot crane connection will pick up some trophy
but you never know
deep down in my heart
i knew everyone there wanted the gold doo dah
i wanted it more than life itself…or even fame
enter the crowded room
theres pete dixon-radbury-wilkins-service
theres gonad
theres the girls from horizontal bombo
oh look theres billy frenum n his wife
jim crackburn deep in conversation with his manager bob dickles
i see stewart mc finks ex huddled in a corner with minx maguire
the boys from cockle tears acting all snooty
veteran songwriter john thomas hardon mingles with the street pixels
big fat greaseball mick limbo squeaks away to no one in particular
over the hill producer tom “snorter” farquar chats up beryl me-deep
etc etc
you get the picture
i see andy lee hanging by the bar and his gothic bit of fluff
yeah i kinda know him
he opened for us
we opened for him
now hes got the dudes of neptune
theve fucken cracked the american charts with the latest thing
jamming for damo…
yeah dont ask me who damo is
i dont know either
lee is standing there having a shandy or 2
the geezers stoned outta his tree on hash or something
he shakes his mop of white curls around like
some crazed watusi in negative
i stand next to him at the crowded bar
allo he says
yeah yeah andy….uh huh…hows it going
yeah good man we’re off to new york sat’dy
yeah…where you playing?
at the lamb theatre he said….2 nights already sold out….
my stomach dropped
i dreamed about being able to play the lamb theatre
oh wow…i said….
yeah man.. he said…i could get you in if you like….
(i dont wanna fuckin’ get in….i thought)
oh thatd be nice andy….i muttered
i drifted off to my date
that bastard andy lee n the dudes of neptune are doing the lamb!
is that good? my date asked
NO! THAT IS NOT GOOD! i yelled
attracting loads of curious n angry stares
sir denny hogwrath the chairman of the doo dahs shook his head
dinner was a lovely vegan tortine but still i couldnt forget those dudes
i ask around all the tables
have you heard this jamming for damo ?i ask
yeah its great says nick sable the singer for the true bar doors
my brother gave it to me says gary congo the bongo player…
…its good
maria von shadow digs it too
and goes on about the fourth track with its strings and doomy bass
but whats it like? i ask them all
i dunno they say…like jamming
like jamming for damo quips anita room
everyone laughs
i feel a real case of envy coming on
of course at midnight
they read the winner
who’ll get the golden doo dah..?
of course by now i fancy my chances a bit more
the competition are all pissed
and none are a pretty sight
course i’m sloshed myself but i bet i still look good
i’m sure i do
tho my date wandered off with quentin crumble for a line
and she aint come back since
they read out all the preamble
bullshit bullshit rhubarb rhubarb
i lose focus
i’m just imagining me n my boys at the lamb when
i hear
the winner
is
(in the time it took to announce the name
i imagined me and i imagined accepting the award
i imagined my acceptance speech and the look on my
mum n dads faces when they heard i’d won a gold doo dah)
THE DUDES OF NEPTUNE >>>JAMMING FOR DAMO!!!!
the place erupted
my stomach sagged
my blood turned to ice
my heart beat like the clappers
i saw red
fuck this!
i stormed out
angry bitter bent on revenge
out the corner of my eye i saw lee up there
getting his award from terri nova
and shes…oh no..kissing him
telling him how she loves jfd as everyone now calls it
well who’d a thunk it?
so fuck it
i go down this dark street
theres a shop i know sells skulls n powder
i see madame chew
whats your problem boy she asks in the semi darkness
i need to get rid of something so it never existed i said
that is impossible because as our greatest scientist albrecht einhof said
matter cannot be created nor destroyed…
fuck …i said all dejected
but it can be sent elsewhere she said
really ?i said
yes….
sent to a parallel world
a brutal philistine universe
where none may ever hear of it again
can you send it to… ? i ventured, not daring to say the name
yes! she cackled
i will send this jamming for damo
to earth!
she said her incantation thing
we both giggled
to earth….
now lets see what they make of it!

20 Responses to “lee way from universe #23236661354”

  1. avatar
    Richard | 17 May 2009 at 6:13 am #

    Options (I think we can rule out #2 and #6 – and #5 is an outsider):

    Damo, the daughter of Pythagoras and Theano.

    Damo, a 2003 Korean TV drama miniseries.

    Damo, a Korean class of female servants ranked below slaves.

    Bodhidharma, Indian founder of Zen Buddhism, known as Damo in China

    Damo Suzuki, Japanese musician

    DAMO, an abbreviation for Domino Access for Microsoft Outlook.

    Song About Us

  2. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 17 May 2009 at 6:38 am #

    …had a good ol’ cackle over this one…zigger jackets and golden doo-dahs…..
    good on ya andy, whatcha gonna do with your golden doo-dah? drink champagne out of it???? use it as a door stop? dig weeds out of the garden with it? hey, paint it and use it as a garden gnome!

    love always….

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 May 2009 at 6:39 am #

    Outside looking in… mind you…
    The egg shell begins to crack – again
    It won’t be the last
    Revitalization, Redemption – Rebirth – again
    Each time the bullshit sticks less
    You are here – enjoy
    Enjoy your art
    Enjoy those you share the space with
    Enjoy those who love you
    You have collection
    You have franchise
    You have pardners
    You are STILL here
    You have friendlees
    You have familees
    Dreams are just that… dreams…mostly others’
    Can’t live by their light
    Do what you do well (you know)
    Do what matters (you know)
    Do it without measure
    The Universe provides what we can take
    Let go – flo with the flo n’ gro
    It’ll all take ya where you wanna go…

    I like the new record…I always like the new record…but this one is different. It seems directed with intention as a whole and when that happens, it just bumps The Church’s action over the top. Your vocals sound new, energized, committed – busting out of a box. Like a gauze has lifted in some way that’s completely new. Lucky you.

    Whatever it is wherever it goes enjoy it.
    Outside looking in mind you…

    PR

  4. avatar
    M E M | 17 May 2009 at 7:14 am #

    k – kilbeykennedy puts me in that different world. wow.

    mem

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 May 2009 at 8:17 am #

    Steve

    I just recorded my PB three times round kardinia park and it was thanks entirely to space saviour.

    If I was allowed to say just one thing about Untitled #23 it’d be this:

    dig out your dunlop volleys and have a jog to space saviour. it’s instant endorphin.

    Pub Sav

  6. avatar
    verdelay | 17 May 2009 at 10:23 am #

    And Harry Flowers not even nominated!

    A travesty! The swines!

    But I’m above all that anyway…

    v

  7. avatar
    Merlin | 17 May 2009 at 11:20 am #

    Music Journalist Justin Case adds his notes about the awards ceremony.

    Success is not enough for some people, they have to push their luck. The Golden Doo-Dah awards was a case in point. Not content with being the darlings of the Solar Federation, with Galactic sales going triple plutonium for “Jamming for Damo”, and top billing in a string of high profile showcase gigs, The Nudes of De-Tune, were witnessed backstage engaged in a frantic argument amongst themeselves.

    With a journo’s instinct, I placed my MP3 recorder just outside their room, and went to the bar for a top up. I returned to find an empty room, but my recorder was where I had left it, undiscovered.

    Pressing play, I evesdropped on the confrontation. There was a loud crash as a guitar was thrown across the room. Neil, the Drummer was screaming about the need for a change of direction, and how “we should use easy listening as the springboard for developing a new sound”, Sleepy Lopez (the Indian of the group) was repeating over and over the Mantra “is it any good, who’s going to want to play it, it’s great innit?” as if attempting to convince himself. Lee and Merlin could be heard discussing the rivalry with that upstart band The Chapal, planning the sabotage of the soundboard the next time they opened from them. Ugly, sordid scenes. Success has obviously turned their heads.

    I was just about to leave when Neil the drummer approached me, sporting a cut lip and black eye. “We’ve come to an arrangement”, he muttered, we’re splitting due to “musical Indifferences”.

    The other Nudes were nowhere to be seen. At the office the next day I rang them for a quote. I only got the studio answerphone. The Nudes were unavailable due to taking an extended vacation on Earth. Enough is enough. there was no way I was going to follow them to that backwater hell hole, I mean how perverse and unfashionable can you get?

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 May 2009 at 12:12 pm #

    andy commissioned this one right???

    worked out a good way to listen to #23…set to repeat and leave it running and running and running…

    much love

    M

  9. avatar
    Freddie | 17 May 2009 at 1:44 pm #

    😀

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 May 2009 at 2:10 pm #

    ouch! so, this is a friendly dig? or did andy piss you off?

  11. avatar
    lily was here | 17 May 2009 at 2:34 pm #

    The Spacerovision Song contest. I told you to take violin lessons LOL

    xox

  12. avatar
    davem | 17 May 2009 at 5:38 pm #

    Nice one Andy!!
    See you at the lamb….
    xx

  13. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 17 May 2009 at 6:34 pm #

    Andy Lee is a paragon icon.

    The June 5, 2009 Edition of Goldmine magazine gives Painkiller a great 5 star review. The cover story is about 40 years of Abbey Road with a picture of the fab four crossing the street.

    The reviewer lauds SK’s “Painkiller” excursion into space rock and psychedelia for being absolutely captivating. “Not What You Say” is an acid trip. “Celestial” traverses a universe of starry atmospherics. “File Under Travel” gets approbation. “Look Homeward Angel” is praised. The reviewer’s favorite song is “Wolfe” a wintery steeplechase of majestic strings and twinkling guitar that is “Painkiller’s” most engaging and wondrous moment.

    Marty Wilson Piper’s Nightjar also gets an optimal review.

  14. avatar
    eek | 17 May 2009 at 9:09 pm #

    That was a whole lot of fun!

  15. avatar
    fantasticandy | 17 May 2009 at 10:07 pm #

    strewth!
    iv’e been trying to get my thoughts together sufficiently to make a coherent reply…..
    all day…
    all day!
    youv’e pulled the rug from under me steve…..
    i don’t know how to respond to such a thing.
    i don’t have your skills with language.
    thank you….
    although in truth your gifts far outweigh my own, i feel we are bound together in our fight against the banal and mediocre.
    i am utterly, utterly ‘gobsmacked’,
    i think i better go lie down…..

    i thank you from the bottom of my heart for making it MY time in universe #23236661354.
    fingers and toes crossed for YOU in this universe.
    surely your gold doo-dah is long overdue….
    if only i could make it happen for you too….
    your’e generous to a fault killer!
    the dudes ‘n i owe ya a great big bag of the finest jazz…..and then some…
    this is so surreal……

    you bloody great blogstar!
    a thousand blessings on your house and all who dwell within,
    thank you,
    thank you,
    thank you!
    much love,
    amdy.

    geez….’thank you’ souds so lame,
    …..sorry.

  16. avatar
    fantasticandy | 17 May 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    c’mon v………..
    you have been imortalised forever in ‘welcome’
    and that’s fer real……

  17. avatar
    seoigh | 18 May 2009 at 12:47 am #

    What’s the big deal with the Lamb Theatre? You’ve played better rooms. Hell, I’ve played better rooms. Double hell, I’ve played the Lamb. Does it have some sort of meaning to you?

  18. avatar
    Shawn El | 18 May 2009 at 1:42 am #

    For the record (no pun intended):
    I vote for Space Saviour as the next single.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 May 2009 at 4:08 am #

    sitting at work with walkman on, minding my own business, then the solo bit of pangea with the cello in the background comes on and I feel tears welling inside me, and I feel I’m gonna burst out crying like a ninny head…warning – dont listen to #23 at work dudes….

  20. avatar
    Max | 20 May 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    A decent boldness ever meets with friends (homer time).

    Long live the Deadman and his Hand!


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