posted on March 3, 2006 at 1:40 am

im safely back from the future
wow
its rough out there, kiddo
try to enjoy now
as much as ya can
cos its never gonna be this way again
if youre a childe
dont be in any hurry to grow up
being an adult(erer) is harde graft
if ya olde like me
relax and enjoy it
you gonna be young a million times over
again
cmon
it aint so badde
being senile deaf and blind
hobbling round
tryin to strum mah bass
stryin to croak out a tune
for ya
and speakin of which
the 1st of april
the sando
me
on my own
stripped bare
in a way youve never imagined
an evening with me
just you and me
and some people called the ordience
please come a long
otherwise i will feel pathetic in the empty venue
singin my maudlin tripe
to no one
except maybe ditch peter
and the cap’n
and dp is a smart arse anyway
i remember one night
i was guest appearin with the crystal set
i was gonna be doin
from now on
(which is actually a beautiful song fiendss)
this was maybe 1983?
84?
i step up on stage
i hear a big gale o laughter
its d.p.
he screams out
at the top of his lungs
CAPTAIN PAISLEY!!!!
and thereby ruined this kinda frank sumatra
thing i had going on in my head
thanks dee pee
(you little c@#t)
im glad you were there that nite!
you totally fucked up my song…
never mind
that was a long time ago fiendss
even i dont bear grudges that long
i put the grudge down
then i pick it back up again when i need it
in fact
chez kilbey
has a whole room
which is devoted to grudges
that i won in grudge matches
i thought i was gonna be big in 92
when nirvana came out
i thought it was grudge rock
i thought pearl jam was seaman
i thought teen spirit was a casper film
i thought a lot about you lately baby
you were always on my mind
so
be at the sando
prepare to adore me
prepare to applaud me
prepare to throw your bras at me
the only trouble really is
that
although i am goode at many things
and the best at others
unfortunately
standing there with an acc guitar
and singin’ by myselves
isnt one of them
cmon
we can admit it
ah go on say it
im not much chop at it
no folks
this aint false modesty
its just that
it aint my thing
never really was
i came into music the other way
playing the bass
singin with a band
i never even tried to do a gig like this till 1989
the limelite club or something
in l a
the first time ever
age 36
so its weird for me
like drivin a car on the wrong side o the road
i can do it
but i cant relax
if something upsets the apple cart
im all at sea
you see….
so please come along
how often can you see a gen u ine
renaissance manne
in the flesh
in newtown on satday nite
all fooles day
for 15 aust bucks
even if im not very goode
its still a bargain
im tryin to think of somethin different
but i probably wont be able to
it’ll just be me
fucking up almost wid you
or something
listen
i cant be good at everything
i had to pay a price in some areas
for my expertise in others
so whattya got
the best lyricist in the world
but he cannae strum n sing so well
if ya happy with that
you got it
bring yer money
smoke a spliff
drink some plonk
have a laugh
and prepare to gush
in case yer not goode at gushing
ive written a sample gush
which you can base yours on
if ya like
ahem
stevie k hit the stage at the sando
on satday nite and slew the sell out crowd
of tertiary educated boheemian celebs
with his virile good looks
his soothing warm sexy voice
his ineluctable songs
and his lyrics
which are simply the best
in the whirld.
there you go
something like that
get out yer dictionary
look up some big adjectives
throw em out at the hoi polloi
theyll never understand that
you dont have a fucken clue
just look at me
ululating like enki
and persicknetty ulladullas
whatever you gooseballs
see ya round
sk

30 Responses to “march hair and all that malarkey”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 2:48 am #

    Wish Eye could be there…

    then again, maybe she won’t turn up.

    gryphon

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 2:49 am #

    U’ll be alright on the nite..
    It’s worse when the crowd stands there with that irreverent respect & you can hear a pin drop.
    Make sure you get everyone to sing along, that’ll help.
    I’m off to Dunedoo now to see my daughter, havent been able to for a while as I lost my licence ( tut, Tut) ..
    Yes Dunedoo.. population 872
    Not a badde place really , gud people considerin they eat meat for breakfast , lunch & dinner.
    Even got an old vid ( the worst one ever) of Unguarded Moment on the Vid Jukebox @ the local pub which gets plaid every Sat nite.
    See ur an icon so why worry about a solo gig.
    Here I am Dutch Pierre but some friends in Sydney call me Dunedoo Pete as I always bring a big bag of bush buds back.

    Tot Ziens,

    Dutch Pierre

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 3:01 am #

    Hang on…
    This cud be an April fools joke

  4. avatar
    mike a | 3 March 2006 at 3:03 am #

    “i thought teen spirit was a casper film” – that was a great one sk – I couldn’t stop laughing!!

  5. avatar
    Huh? | 3 March 2006 at 3:03 am #

    “it aint so badde
    being senile deaf and blind”

    You will have to speak up I can’t read you! What?
    Of course its hot on the moon, where else do you think we get pineapples from!

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 3:05 am #

    You can do it!!!!!
    Just make sure open those eyes & look at people

  7. avatar
    DIG! | 3 March 2006 at 3:11 am #

    What’s wrong with Melbourne? Well probably alot, but it would be a better place if you could play, here. Ask Marty, the Northcote S C or whatever ain’t a bad old place to play, still a shame about the that little cafe you use to play in Greville Street.
    Dig

  8. avatar
    fergal | 3 March 2006 at 3:27 am #

    tell us about your brisbane gig when u book it sk.
    or maybe yourself & mr koppes as a duo?
    that’d b fantastic.
    go on!
    ~

  9. avatar
    verdelay | 3 March 2006 at 3:43 am #

    You gonna come and play Houston? Awww, c’mon… We got a spot lined up for you at the Rodeo at the Astrodome, between the calf-roping and the gut wobbling events. Bring yer own spurs.

  10. avatar
    the dean | 3 March 2006 at 4:23 am #

    I’ll be there at ye ol sando eventhough ulladulla is closer

    bpd

  11. avatar
    Rehan from Sri Lanka | 3 March 2006 at 4:50 am #

    Would LOVE to attend but i’m miles and miles away and can’t afford aussie airfare alas! But i want to tell you just how much i appreciated the acoustic concert at the Newtown RSL on December the 11th! It was a dream come true! And thanks for autographing the CD’s (“Thanks for the saree” you said when i met you backstage, man that still cracks me up!)Love the blog and i wish you and the band years and years unlimited creativity! May the muse continue to inspire the Church! Love ya!

  12. avatar
    sue cee | 3 March 2006 at 5:02 am #

    The first time I saw you solo was on a rainy night at The Hopetoun 1997 (sorry if I dripped on you!) and it was so sublime. I travelled 8 hours just to see you, worried that I’d not get the chance again. RK came on before you and he was really good tho’ he denies it (didnt realise it was ya brother then!)… Tim Powles on drums …it was the launch of the great Narcosis Plus album…but you also did Fireman, Shadow Cabinet, milky way, many others… you were pissed off with the sound guy, but it was one of the most magical nights I’ve ever witnessed …you have nothing to worry about. The last time I saw you solo was at The Basement just over a year ago and, while it wasnt as cosy as the Hopetoun gig, it was every bit as delicious. Forget Dublin, Im sure I levitated before, during and after.

  13. avatar
    captainmission | 3 March 2006 at 5:26 am #

    Hi Rohan, hope you and yr family are well.
    Steve, i’ll bring some bras to throw, amongst other things of intrest. That last Sando gig had me in stiches, it was really one of the best nights ever, certainly unpredictable, i am sure this one will be equally as good. Some very funny stories as well as the brilliant songs.
    Are you taking requests cos i’d like to get in early.

    Ha I liked that teen spirit line to.

  14. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 3 March 2006 at 5:56 am #

    “i never even tried to do a gig like this till 1989
    the limelite club or something
    in l a
    the first time ever
    age 36
    so its weird for me”

    as someone who is 38
    and releasing his first real CD in two weeks
    & trying to line up gigs
    & has only played with his band before
    this blog meant a lot to me
    thanks sk (again for everything)

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 6:38 am #

    Come to Brisbane?? Please??
    cmon

    ~Ross

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 4:06 pm #

    come on sk
    you’re torturing us here
    pleading with us to
    come be at your gig
    as if we’d be
    doing you a favor
    as if there’s
    somewhere else
    we’d rather be
    on april 1
    as if we’d go
    if ONLY you were
    goode playing
    acoustic solo.
    yeah right.
    don’t you KNOW
    we’d be there
    if we had the
    magic powers
    to overcome
    the logistical
    **##** challenge of the
    geography??
    so, we’ll
    light some candles
    play sk “a&i”
    and send you
    good vibes.

    lots of love
    from boulder
    diane and john

    p.s. let us know
    if you have a
    better solution

  17. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 3 March 2006 at 4:06 pm #

    I saw you a couple of times playing solo in hellay, Club Lingerie was a lot of fun A Month of Sundaes sputtered at first but then burst into sublime flame.
    My tapes are still alive but the quality has suffered.
    Will be at the sando in spirit.
    Cecilia

  18. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 3 March 2006 at 7:07 pm #

    Well, I love that album Acoustic and Intimate ya did. I didn’t really buy live albums back then (cos they were all the same songs and I didn’t think this was worth the $, see, I had merely my allowance from the ‘rents), but I bought it cos I had become obsessed with ya. And wow, I learned a lesson bout live stuff. I think the bestest was when you made lil’ mistakes..it twas endearing!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 7:17 pm #

    It’s goona’ take (mae) moore
    than 15 aussie ducks to get me to that show.

    You’re gonna’do fine. Just play Mistress. Band or no band it gets me everytime.

    Good Reade, good luck.

    theglynnisjohns

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2006 at 9:52 pm #

    saw you at a place called The Office in adelaide years ago and it was excellent…you got someone from the crowd to get up and do a song, and the unavoidable utmw was strummed lifelessly by a hapless young lad while you sat there seemingly wishing you were somewhere else…weird choice of venue but…it’s not called the office for nuttin’…

  21. avatar
    boydie | 3 March 2006 at 11:17 pm #

    Yer 2 modest Kilbs..those Borderline gigs in 199? (whenever) were the business…Goliath/Song Of Solomon..Carolyn Says..I’d bring ya over again but it’d be fuckin expensive..one day eh?

    Luv XXX

  22. avatar
    eek | 3 March 2006 at 11:31 pm #

    I agree with Krissy about Acoustic & Intimate. It was the first SK solo/side project I bought (yes I was a slacker.) and I was a bit unsure if all I wanted to hear was you and an acoustic guitar. But I loved it right off (still one of my faves) and bought everything else I could find of yours within a few weeks.

    So I’d love to be able to come to the show.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 March 2006 at 12:35 am #

    Steven:

    I dig the live acoustic thing.

    It’s funny you feel that way.

    It can be some powerful stuff.

    SK A&I is stunning.

    That is what I’ll be listening to on 1 April.

    florian

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 March 2006 at 1:01 am #

    i got my block, i got my rock,
    now let’s wait and see
    i’m gunna un-plug &
    take the whole
    g’dam
    thng with me

    take back the
    black
    back to
    back
    and all that i can see,

    it’s
    all for you
    and them
    you know
    so
    much more
    than
    me

    i got the
    stuff
    i got
    enough
    just you
    wait
    and see..

    i ain’t
    no fair-weather
    dandy

  25. avatar
    sue cee | 4 March 2006 at 1:13 am #

    Acoustic and Intimate – one of the better live productions, exactly as it states. If you feel like you’re right there in the room then they’ve done a great job. Times listening to it Im almost scared to speak.

    btw Block is a killa opening track, luscious and intense with barely a hint of the past.

  26. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 4 March 2006 at 1:46 am #

    …and you told us not to sing the
    oh
    oh
    ohs
    in I’m Almost Vishnu

  27. avatar
    tim | 4 March 2006 at 1:56 am #

    Esskay gots the skills. I’m not UTMW’s biggest fan. I like it a lot, but on the Church-scale, it rates about a 5. Hiyevah, the most affecting version I’ve ever heard was on the A&I CD. Don’t sell yourself short. Even when you attempt modesty, we won’t let you get away wiff it.

  28. avatar
    Andromeda 7 | 8 March 2006 at 10:46 am #

    ackshully you’re singin’ like you never sung before, going by the speigeltent ol’ grey-eyes. you could always play just basse and suing and forget the srummy strummy… can’t get to the sandringham, the olde paris pink paris greene haunt, penguins on safari, miss jaimie who threw himself under a train RIP. looking forward to manchester lane tho rok on

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 March 2006 at 2:10 pm #

    hey killer sitting in singabore surfing and curious about all those people that were a big part of my life and found your blog so will just leave you some kisses xx
    and hope you still have that acerbic wit plenty to laugh at these days .Lulu ex WP

  30. avatar
    Paul W | 11 April 2006 at 8:17 pm #

    Don’t be so hard on yourself Steve. One of the most memorable shows I have ever been to was your acoustic show at Max’s on Broadway in Baltimore 1990 (those of you bootleggers that have a recording of that show, you can thank me later…). I was in college at the time, and had skipped the Washington DC show the night before because I had an exam the next day, but after seeing the Baltimore show I would have gladly taken an “F” on the test to have been there. Oh well. It was a 3 hour drive back to school after the show, and I was pulled over for speeding on the way, but the time flew as I listened to the recording I had just made all the way back.
    It’s still one of my favorite shows, warts and all, because of the way you intereacted with the crowd, the new interpretations of the old songs, the stories you told. You seemed to be enjoying yourself, and the whole thing was just so PERSONAL! To the audience it felt like we were just hanging out with a friend, having a good time and singing some songs. I have’t been able to get to one of your solo shows since, but it still ranks as one of my all time favorites.


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