posted on April 29, 2006 at 9:51 pm

gorgeous late autumn sunday morning
i sit at my kitchen table
with aurora justine k
shes drawing flowers n fairies
with the doodles new glittery pens
(im having a bit of a fiddle with em myself)
the air is crisp but not at all cold
australian birds sing outside in the different gums n palms
compared to dry old cold canberra
bondi is a tropical paradise
red n orange n crimson hibisci
white frangipanis the most aromatic flowers
ones with slight pale yellow
or rosy whorls becoming maroon near the edges
thousands of flowers i couldnt name
a passionfruit tree with pink autumnal blossoms
and the strange mixture of trees
the figs
the ghost gums
oaks
twisted strange native trees
paperbarks
scribbly barks
its all still
silent
except for enos on land
which is playing softly on the kitchen counter
i can see evie lying in her bed
looking at the ceiling
letting her mind roam with miraculous freedom
that only children and madmen and geniuses understand
its funny with twins
they usually do their imaginings together
me….ii lived in world i had sculpted and formed
in a crowded part of my mind
it was made of
playing cards
(to me the diamonds and clubs were the good guys
just check out the jacks…
the hearts and spades, those jacks,
they look like cads n ne’er do wells
blackguards
while the ds n cs
their jacks (princes..?)
were sensitive kind and usually without
the horrible little moustaches…
then as i am talking about cards
i think who or what do the aces represent?
hmmm…well…
theyre higher than kings
but are also sometimes the lowest….the one
they represent the point where absolute power
either coagulates into the all powerful ONE
or devolves into the singular lonely one
they are the link
where communism meets fascism
where beauty n ugliness collide
the interzone
the apex
and the nadir
consider this fiendss
and look at the cards next time you playing
hmmm most blokes i know
would laugh if ya asked em to play monopoly
or even draughts
chess
but cards
ahh
lotta people love the cards
i do
im fascinated with em
and five hundred is my favourite game
but i can turn into the sinner when i play…
)
other things that informed my daydream
were marbles
(once again joycies spatial clout came in handy)
but although i was good
i was never the best
and i lost lotsa marbles
i had a personal relationship with
(a white one with a yellow ring round the centre)
we played “follows” in nsw
where you just shoot for the other guy
catch as catch can
in victoria we played big ring n little ring
where you shoot the other guys marbles outta a circle
but without your shooter getting caught in the circle
except i think in big ring you wanted to get in..
in the a.c.t it was holey
and only holey
this was my favourite game
and the one that got me totally hooked
its a form of gambling
i justa realized that
youre staking something you love
something that is intrinsically worth something to ya
and when you lose
ah…the sick despair
the bruised ego
the struggle to smile
or say something
the need to repress the shout
“you bloody cheat!!
all the bad chemicals that come with losing..
losing anything
money
yer lover
or marbles…
but the winning
mmmm
oooh lovely ego rush crush acquire
to defeat your rival
collect his booty
“kilbey, youve cleaned me out”
moaned a hapless boy in my back garden in canberra
we had a perfect back garden for holey, baybee
rocky sandy soil grass all terrains are us
you dig a hole
you say how many yer wagering
“how many up, kilbey?)
“ten up, mate
“ten….no way, im only playing for 5”
then youd say
no pots or grannies
this meant that the other player could not invoke
any arcane rules
to get himself outta a jam
it was a clean game
then youd get to the nominated distance from the hole
start shooting
(theyre was even a special and the only legal way
to shoot and that was to flick with the hand laid flat
alongside the marble and catching the forefinger
under the middle finger
you lightly flick
now the strength and subtlety of yer flick
was the very essence of the game
like golf or pool
except in those games the balls represent something
but are nae of importance of themselves
in marbles the balls are the prize and the wager
what an amazing twist
anyway in holey you won
by sinking the last marble
that means when theyre all in the whole bar one
if you have a go at sinking the last one
and you just miss
then youre opponent can easily sink it
and win the lot
so theyre was a very elaborate endgame
trying to have potshots at the hole
but hard
so if ya missed it would go off away from the hole
of course sometimes it went in the hole n bounced back out
sometimes it would go round n round the hole
and roll back out
sitting right on the rim
where the other kid could just tip it in
and your heart would sink right thru yer boots
yeah i cleaned em out
and they cleaned me out
and it was like going bankrupt
you hadda hit yer parents up
to buy some loathesome new marbles
now theres another thing
the beautiful rare n valuable marbles
you could never buy em
they were in circulation
but you hadda win em
ya couldnt buy em
all you could buy were these dull common “guts stickers”
average green flecked things
sometimes if you wanted an americano
or a tom bowler
or a bottler
ya hadda stake a number of the gutstickers
so getting wiped out was tragic
and addictive
wow
marbles my first addiction
anyway now im outta time
i love ya
sk

33 Responses to “no courtesan could begin to decipher your beam of light”

  1. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 29 April 2006 at 11:34 pm #

    i thought i wrote US something very special in “life by the drop”, JLK told me you passed on it today. that’s how it happens living life by the pot. DREAMS don’t really come true. i had fun thinking there was more to you than meets the eye, but i found out the hard way, there isn’t. the beyond within will be no longer. sorry for wasting your precious time, see you all in YOUR next life time, i will try again then…
    mjnjr

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 12:11 am #

    Hey beyonce witless, me thinks you should try peter murphy, he’s full of himself too.

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 12:26 am #

    YIKES!

  4. avatar
    mike a | 30 April 2006 at 1:33 am #

    I Listened to ULTC today with my 6 month old daughter – and guess what – she loved it!!! She listened to the whole thing very intently!!

  5. avatar
    fergal | 30 April 2006 at 2:29 am #

    some of my favourites marbles were the ones we called ‘warts’ which are the clear glass ones like those u can/could find in car batteries. but they came in colours too – blue, green, brown …. and – very rarely – red. my prized marble was a red wart.
    ~

  6. avatar
    esskayer | 30 April 2006 at 2:35 am #

    Kill-bee:

    You’re 51. Don’t lose your “marbles,” okay?

  7. avatar
    Will | 30 April 2006 at 3:00 am #

    I couldn’t wait any longer! Last night I went looking for ULTC in the local shops, department stores, electronics chains, etc…, and to my surprise I found it at my first stop!! As I held the precious gift at arms length I thought “Should I hold out for the prepayed, signed copy which is on its way to me at this very moment, or should I shell out another $15.00 for an early glimpse at it’s greatness. Needless to say I’m $15 short and in total harmonic bliss!!
    In 3rd grade I played a marble game similar to your “holey”. I rarely won, and usually got picked on for my brown corduruoys when all the other kids were wearing denim. Years later working in a Rexall Drug Store owned by my father in law I found a large box of marbles in the basement. There were literally thousands of them, mostly from the 1940’s-1950’s, all in original packaging, large and small. I spent most of that summer handing out marbles to the kids in the neigborhood and relatives.
    Great work on ULTC!!! I love Block, Easy, Real Toggle Action, Day 5.

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 3:06 am #

    It’s a shame that some mentally unstable fans have decided they don’t like you because you didn’t give them enough attention. All part of fame, I guess.

    Great childhood magic today…

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 3:12 am #

    I remember marbles, we used to call
    the pretty clear ones clearies.

    One time my brother Carl did
    something really stupid.
    My dad said “Carl where are your
    marbles” and Carl says ” I left
    them in the car”.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 3:24 am #

    We called the opaque ones with swirly colors “beauts” (pronounced ‘byoots’), and the big ones “crocks”.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 3:29 am #

    (continued from above, 1:24)

    And I had a lovely red and green suede pouch, with a leather drawstring, to keep them in. It must have been from the 1940’s or so.

  12. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 30 April 2006 at 3:57 am #

    I never played marbles but I still play the card games..the drinking ones. You know, the ones where you don’t have some certain card n you take a drink..or you take a big ol’ shot of whatnot in the middle when you lose..ahh the college games. Ahh, immaturity. What bliss.

  13. avatar
    matthew | 30 April 2006 at 5:14 am #

    haha yeah, in Brisbane where I spent a good portion of my childhood, the rare valuable ones were ‘Clearos’, ‘Spaghettis'(clear but with an amazing random 3d noodle-strand swirl inside) and Peewees, which looked just like the regular ones but half the size. I had a drawstring marble bag. I once begged my grandmother in Sydney to let me take apart a flower-holder from a vase, because to my greedy eyes it was simply a plastic mesh FULL of Clearos… I could have become so rich in the marble economy… she said no.

  14. avatar
    John Garratt | 30 April 2006 at 5:38 am #

    Dude, you need more sleep.

  15. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 30 April 2006 at 6:20 am #

    Wow; if you think the first comment is frightening – go behind the curtain. SK how do you deal with such insanity? I am glad I am just some anonymous nobody. The cops here in L.A. would call this a 5150.

    Anyway…funny you mentioned marbles. Friday some kids in my kindergarten class left a bunch on the floor and had a good laugh when I slipped on them, yelling, “Who left their marbles all over the floor?!” Eh, 5 year olds. They’re more interested in X-boxes and Gameboys and stuff I don’t even understand; marbles are ‘too boring’ for them. Sad.

    I’m hooked on “Never Before” now. We’re having a mad, passionate love affair. I’m playing the hell out of it. I can’t stop.
    d.

  16. avatar
    mattdavison | 30 April 2006 at 6:57 am #

    Dunno What they call em in Austraaa…liaa But in Nz we called em
    Blundy busters.. my fav!! big glassy jems they were..and Milkies, cats eyes, whirlies, milky whirlies, those metal ones that were alway’s worth alot I was not so great at the sport, but lovvvvved it………………
    Don’t you think we should trade marbles instead of money??
    Ps THE ultc Is the cream on the cake 4 yr band… the best yetand mabee never beaten!!! If you don’t release BLOCK AS A SINGLE WITH A VIDEO…YOU SHOULD ALL GO TO JAIL.
    Dutch e-mail me, or the kid gets it.
    C ya Kilbo

  17. avatar
    mattdavison | 30 April 2006 at 6:57 am #

    Dunno What they call em in Austraaa…liaa But in Nz we called em
    Blundy busters.. my fav!! big glassy jems they were..and Milkies, cats eyes, whirlies, milky whirlies, those metal ones that were alway’s worth alot I was not so great at the sport, but lovvvvved it………………
    Don’t you think we should trade marbles instead of money??
    Ps THE ultc Is the cream on the cake 4 yr band… the best yetand mabee never beaten!!! If you don’t release BLOCK AS A SINGLE WITH A VIDEO…YOU SHOULD ALL GO TO JAIL.
    Dutch e-mail me, or the kid gets it.
    C ya Kilbo

  18. avatar
    MattD | 30 April 2006 at 8:04 am #

    SORRY ABOUT THAT EVERYONE.
    ps.. sk that queen H.. writes beautifully on this blogg. I really want to say this.. Peter K is too underated… I love him even if you lot think he’s a little weird.. He is the glue that holds the Chruch together. His song “on ultc is un-believable!!! Dave Gilmore must I say must hear him…send a copy its the last track on “Dark side of the moon” I am sure. Thats all.
    M

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 8:56 am #

    Steve pleaseelease release Block as a single and video – ULTC is on car stero and growing hypnotically.

    Any real chance you guys will tour WA in the not too distant future?

    Best
    Celticat

  20. avatar
    lily | 30 April 2006 at 9:06 am #

    Love the descriptions of Bondi. I really must visit there someday. Am I the only one who never played marbles as a child?

  21. avatar
    sue cee | 30 April 2006 at 10:29 am #

    Its kinda a ‘boy’ thing marbles but collecting, finding, trading and stealing them from your friends was just as much fun as playing! my kids are hooked on cards at the moment, esp UNO and they’re becoming dab hands at Blackjack .. bad parenting?!! Challenge you to a round of 500, Euchre or even Mahjong anyday SK but you gotta supply the cornchips and salsa dip!

    PK weird? ha ha, no he’s just a big kid 🙂

  22. avatar
    meatus | 30 April 2006 at 1:03 pm #

    i remember playing marbles at school in Christchurch form 2 1978.
    i was quite good and cleaned up. had a hole in my shoe and got a few that way too.
    eventually it was banned and one day two boys were caned for playing.

  23. avatar
    tex | 30 April 2006 at 1:24 pm #

    greetings from canberra steve – just caught up with a week’s worth of kilbey blog after some touring in victoria. did you ever play at the esplanande in st kilda? it’s a scary place.

    can’t pass by your ps diatribe – i’ve been on both public and non-public sides and find little essential difference – you can bludge if you want and people won’t take you on. there are arseholes and bludgers everywhere but they are far outnumbered by people with a desire to get something done, within whatever restrictions are placed upon them.

    anyway, thanks for the vibes and, equally impressive and selfless, yr blog.

    tex

  24. avatar
    Invisiwoman | 30 April 2006 at 4:08 pm #

    Hey Mr. Esskay– Howzabout an Audioblogography–Best of all- yer own words in yer own voice- Wouldn’t that be grand?

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 April 2006 at 9:31 pm #

    I’ve been so busy painting and all. It’s great to see you’re still bloggin’ away- today’s colorful writing is like a Cy Twombly, a Brice Marden, or a Ross Bleckner.

    Laurie

  26. avatar
    eek | 30 April 2006 at 10:04 pm #

    It sounds so very beautiful there, SK. I close my eyes and can see, smell and feel what you describe. Wonderful.

    Although I can’t be there tonight, I will be thinking of you, Perhaps if I close my eyes and relax I’ll be just able to catch a few notes….

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 May 2006 at 12:32 am #

    Have you lost your marbles?

    Lova Ya,

    Dutch Pierre

  28. avatar
    captainmission | 1 May 2006 at 8:27 am #

    I found some marbles once
    i love ‘song to go’ at the moment but i can’t stop playing ‘loveblind’, ohh it’s a sublime one that on, the little extra drum bit always makes me smile.

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    Keith
    http://www.onlinepoolchemicals.co.uk

  31. avatar
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    Keith
    http://www.onlinepoolchemicals.co.uk

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