posted on September 15, 2008 at 8:24 pm

a rebel without the caws
i feel angry and restless
i feel ineffectual and reduced
i feel i gotta learn my lesson
and i aint learnt my lesson
but i will learn my lesson
ricki went back to sf on sunday
me n evie took him to the aeropuerte
jesus i miss him already
he certainly put some pizazz into things
off to some glamourous gig in new york city
thats the life…..isnt it?
i am just wishin’ n hopin’ we all can play some more gigs
because i enjoyed myself
other things dont make me enjoy myself that much
and life is all about enjoyment, isnt it?
i’m quite popular with the guys twenty years younger than me
i seem to have a few…tho they’re no spring chickens themselves
blokes i see at the pool
they all seem to like me for some strange reason
in truth it is this
age horrifies them
a thirty 5 year olde geezer dont wanna be in his fifties
they see all these fifty odd geezers….no thanks
then you see me
although as old as any of them
my youthful naivety and natural dopiness
means i can always converse with the youngsters
(except my own teenage daughters, natch
who wish i’d grow up and get a real job)
(i would if i only could)
anyway these guys see me
and realise
you can carry on being a fool into your old age
or as long as you like
i intend to keep on doing this
and i dont care if anybody thinks otherwise
only a tiny percentage of people will be interested
(congratulate yourself)
listen to painkiller before you start whinging about my direction
i do what i have to do
you cant get a fucking vision of something beaudiful
and then turn around n turn yer back on it
i wanna have a go at everything
i’m sick of the past
its not in my nature to wanna play olde tricks
and the thought of it enervates me
i cant allude directly to the thing
but its coming up
and the thought of it pisses me off
because i need to strive not fuckin’ jive
but too bad for me, huh?
we all have our many little crosses to bear, dont we
and little bears to cross
i am being driven mad by my own genius-idiot mind
i have an unlimited supply of ideas
and a very limited way of actualizing them
get over it kilbey you restless olde fraud
go n fucking play unguarded moment why dontcha
scarlet kilbey gets up
and comes in my room muttering demanding something
i cant hear what shes saying
truth is, shes not saying anything
she doesnt know what she wants
but she wants something
and shes getting ready to cry and wake up everybody
so shes got me over a( ha ha! ) barrel
i run around trying to appease her
me with my musical innovations et al
running about trying to sort out a petulant wally
finally i hit on the idea of lining her toys up
on the edge of a guitar case
she goes for it and plays quietly
nattering to herself as her toys indulge in a bit of biffo
scarlet is quite bloody big now
quite curvaceous too for someone not quite 3
shes a right little ratbag too
just like her father
like ive been revisited on myself
just so i can see what i was like myself
only as a girl
eve n aurora seem positively angelic compared to la scarlet
who is a combination of queen of sheba and liz taylor and
some important olde opera singer all puffed up with herself
scarlet is capricious exacting demanding
and wont be fobbed off with just any old thing
if she asks for raspberry dont give her strawberry
if she wants this dont give her that
dont make fun of the silly way she talks
i want to sit on you wap, daddy
dont pretend to listen but not listen coz she knows
as if you wanna read about some precocious kid…right…?
so am i lucky or unlucky today….?
still waiting for some huge windfall
some university somewhere
gonna hire me or something
hell i know everything just ask me
i was splitting infinitives before i was spitting dummies
i was cooking up artistic frisson since way back when
i got credentials i got scars i got real authenticity
so come on
what tertiary establishment does not need someone like me
getting paid a fortune to contemplate my own knavel
and pissing off home early most week days
i’d write a thesis just like this blog
a load of old codswallop for a million word paper
on the millionth word i’d stop
et voila
dr s kilbey ph bloody d esquire
on a big wicket a top screw moolah and lots of it
what do i do all day
i muck about in my all laid on university studio
i make records of pink whales bleeping while
ricki maymis guitar feeds back in the key of b#
they go on n on for ages
while i write stupid poems about narnia and the seventh dimension
and churn out endless self portraits that look like a 3 year old did em
then i’ll turn up in the cafeteria stoned and insult all the pricks eating meat
i’ll stumble into the staff room and spill tiger balm everywhere
naturally i’ll drive a sunbeam alpine and drink retsina
i’ll wear andre breton songlasses and apollinaire sprats
i’ll huff n puff n blow yer horse down
i’ll be sure to land a good job somewhere now
hey i could teach english to foreign geniuses
this a noun
this is a verb
this is a brain on drugs
this is a party sipple
this is a …
my attention is interrupted
i hear a kookaburra laughing
i hear the rumble of the garbage trucks
i hear the groan of the busdrivers
i hear the weight of the morning
i hear the mechanisms in my readers minds
i hear the ghosts as i pass by the billabongs
i hear the body electric tho i no longer care to sing it
i hear here
i hear there
i hear my own cilia screaming in my ear drums
i hear you dont remember me no more baby
i hear they all went “straight”
i hear you was only jokin’
thats ok
we all need a laff
i will explode soon
if i cant relieve the pressure
who will soothe me n talk me down
not i said the sparrow
nor i said the wren
neither me said the world
this wills on fire
what was i saying…..?

36 Responses to “put it on”

  1. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 15 September 2008 at 10:27 pm #

    ahhh but nevets we wouldn’t have you any other way…
    love always….

  2. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 15 September 2008 at 10:32 pm #

    looks like Mary has ordered ‘painkiller’ for me so i can get some relief here in my dark room, looks like another year of waiting huh esskay…
    Jonny Hollywood

  3. avatar
    matt davison | 15 September 2008 at 10:37 pm #

    I would abuse Trump and his Fanny mae mates

    Put borders up between McDonalds and Havana Coffee in Wellington

    I would offer Davvydson my hand in friendship…

    Have VB in University cafe’s drink machines..

    I would have all friends watch Wim Wenders films (weekly) to gain perspective..

    -Do away with Recruitment companies

    Mold images of my face,for small town statues

    Paint expressionist pieces and call them poster art

    Mill around camps of Melbourne bats for inspiration

    Dream about never ending sealines

    Learn not to spell

    fail my own ego

    paint in dark indigo

    become a slipstream

    realise passing time..

    pace myself

    answer the question (strength vrs compassion))))

    learn more about music…stop dropping my drum sticks…

    e-mail Ricki Maymi and join the Anton (whatever his name is) fan club…

    Drop off myself at the airport and never return……



  4. avatar
    princey | 15 September 2008 at 10:59 pm #

    You’ll always be remembered killsy, and also remember, money don’t bring ya happiness. (but I dont really believe that, I havent even got enough money to order Painkiller at the moment, so the truth is money DOES bring some happiness!!)
    You miss your friend RM, but I heard he’s moving to Melby in Dec, so he won’t be too far away sk…hey that makes 2 people worth coming to see down here! 🙂
    Take care and keep that fire burning sk,
    love Amanda

  5. avatar
    fipster | 15 September 2008 at 11:07 pm #


    Mona LSD looks fabulous on my wall today. I drove through hurricane force winds to pick her up yesterday (along with 11 more cards), dodging flying tree branches and tempest tossed vehicles. Then there was the smoke from a house fire just down the street from Kilbey Art HQ. But I gladly suffer these tests of my devotion to the cause.

    Now how come you never signed and dated Mona?

    Mike F.

  6. avatar
    tim | 15 September 2008 at 11:13 pm #

    Your 3 year old sounds just like my 4 year old…she knows exactly what she wants and how to get it….and stubborn…she is exact opposite of my son and more like me than i care to admit…out going, loud and full of life..too be that young again and full of energy…


  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2008 at 11:15 pm #

    RIP Rick Wright. May your version of the great gig in the sky have an extra long solo for you. Thanks for all the great music.

  8. avatar
    the dean | 15 September 2008 at 11:46 pm #

    Aw what Rick Wright gone??!!

    Do as much as you can right now, don’t delay, forget rewards, create.

  9. avatar
    matt davison | 16 September 2008 at 12:12 am #

    Killer you may just be right about your prediction…Malky Turnbullish… just got the other sides lead post…..!!!!

    Chez Kilbey the pREdictIOn…

  10. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 16 September 2008 at 1:04 am #

    I always though India would be a lucrative place for SK but now I realize Kula Shaker(“Govinda,” “Tattva,””Nomani Nanda-Mandana,” “Avolonia,” “Narayana”)are loved in the land of Gandhi. What will Crispian Mills do next? He loved Dark Horse.

    Headmaster Kilbey could teach the planetary imperative of veganism. How it reduces cruelty, pollution, global warming, deforestation and the destruction of marine and terrestrial ecosystems. Mistreated Cattle eat enough grains to feed 8 billion people which is more than the dietary needs of the earth’s current human population. He could expell students who have meat in their systems and reward the cruelty-free stoners.

    Richard Wright’s “Wet Dream” Cd had its very good moments and is worth a listen. A mellow vocalist he was.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2008 at 1:10 am #

    Whale song?{q?}-peter gabriel mmmmm..x:)

  12. avatar
    kat | 16 September 2008 at 1:25 am #


    its a bad feeling after you had such a great gig and then ricky left, its like coming down off painkiller! ha. i am still trying to find my way, and i guess i always will. (is that a line from a song?) i got canned early from my temp gig with the wire people. wierd, guess i wasn’t the drone they wanted. i am restless again to move somewhere else. with what i dunno.

    fipster, it was insane driving yesterday, no? at least you had a great reason to drive, with sk’s painting. i have seen all kinds of storms in my day, after living in nc, but yesterday was bad. and it all happened so fast. my brother says he cannot find gas anywhere and may have to blow work off tomorrow because alot of places either don’t have power or they don’t have gas.

    whale song? that is the PJ

    i really like wolfe, sk that is my fave painkiller tune. until i get the disc, which i hope will be soon

    peace fiends x

  13. avatar
    the dean | 16 September 2008 at 1:48 am #

    Dear Steve

    Ask your mother, plead with her, beg her, to lift the curse before it’s too late!

  14. avatar
    matt davison | 16 September 2008 at 2:51 am #

    Did Ricki like me???

    He got rightly smashed anyway!! kiwi jazz for the american, gotta been a memory!!!

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2008 at 4:55 am #

    sometimes,it doesnt pay to be placid.:) kisses to little SK,n your angelblossoms,n love n healing to your darling twillies too,big SK.xo

  16. avatar
    Ricky Rene | 16 September 2008 at 5:13 am #

    I miss you and the sydney crew VERY much Steve.
    You KNOW I would have stuck around if it where at all possible. I get into Sydney on Dec 9th w/ Felicity!!!
    Thanks for being such a great part of my life!!!


  17. avatar
    linjo | 16 September 2008 at 5:23 am #

    Life is what happens while you’re waiting for something really good to happen. I just realised that today whilst out walking! (so profound hmmmm rite!) seems that way for me anyway.
    Hey Steve, got Oz Lotto in tonight. U neva know! Linda

  18. avatar
    markobears | 16 September 2008 at 6:03 am #

    You seems down when the shows are over, so come tour the states again.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2008 at 6:19 am #

    Shanks get em here !!!!!

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2008 at 6:20 am #

    Kilber… go to NZ that where all this began………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Von Shlapper

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2008 at 6:47 am #

    Don’t pine for a university job, old chap, they’re all snake-pits! I will concur that the conditions are pretty good though…which is why I’m able to be home now checking my emails etc after picking up my kids from school. I’d love to have the passion for my job that you have, but it’s not possible in a place where EVERYONE thinks they know EVERYTHING.

    Not that I’m one to complain, you know….

    Au Revoir,


  22. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 16 September 2008 at 7:21 am #

    ahhhhh sob sob sob i want my painkiller!!!!i’ve been waiting for THREE weeks now!!!!

  23. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 16 September 2008 at 7:54 am #

    I really liked Rick Wright’s Wearing The Inside Out (off The Division Bell).

  24. avatar
    veleska1970 | 16 September 2008 at 9:24 am #

    9 to 5 jobs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. and they may or may not necessarily pay the bills anymore than what you do for a living. 🙁

    have a good evening.

    lotza love…

  25. avatar
    fantasticandy | 16 September 2008 at 9:36 am #

    killbo….you’ll NEVER be straight in any way, shape or form!

  26. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 16 September 2008 at 11:04 am #

    hey, listen guys, can somebody help me out here…i know that there's a spot i can click on to contact karmic hits records and leave an e mail but my f#!&%$/g computer won't let me do it…is there an e mail address i can use to contact them and find out what's going on with my cd and t shirt thingy????
    PLEASE HELP…i've already forked out the dough to buy them…
    thanks, peace and love…

  27. avatar
    isolde | 16 September 2008 at 11:15 am #

    HellboundHeart you could write to admin AT but it will only interrupt their sticky taping its sposed to be this week so we just gotta be patient, its hard i know

    and how are you this evening sk do you still need soothing?

  28. avatar
    persephone2u | 16 September 2008 at 12:36 pm #

    I always love hearing Scarlet stories so count me in as someone who likes to hear the precocious kid stories! I know just how you feel as I’ve got a male version of me (oh boy, watch out world) walking around who’s convinced that I’m not going to use my computer right now. Just moments ago the 1940’s Bakelite phone came crashing down from the table (it’s still making crackling sounds even though it’s hung up…uh oh) and then just as I was picking it up I heard a loud KATHUD! and my travel books came tumbling off of the bookshelf. Thinking everything was OK I finally sat down and then the Saz (a Turkish instrument) was pulled onto the floor. Oh dear, I’m ready to go to sleep now and it’s only 1:30 in the afternoon in Londinium…

  29. avatar
    CSTCoach | 16 September 2008 at 2:52 pm #

    “you can carry on being a fool into your old age
    or as long as you like
    i intend to keep on doing this
    and i dont care if anybody thinks otherwise”

    thank the gods for that! and thank you nevets yeblik for setting a good example. i know i don’t have to dread it any more. all the yoga stuff, cst, and good eats (and drinks) keep the body young. your work along with a dose of literature keep the mind young. pissing off to empty desert places now and then does the rest.

  30. avatar
    fantasticandy | 16 September 2008 at 3:22 pm #

    y’know coach….
    your’e onto something there….
    being smack-bang in the middle of
    a vast nowhereland….
    it must alter your perception…

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2008 at 5:07 pm #

    ricki maymis guitar feeds back in the key of b#
    Good one SK.

  32. avatar
    John | 16 September 2008 at 7:26 pm #

    I’ve missed my fiends.

    While staying home with my baby girl, I fell and punctured my spleen, complete with internal bleeding. I’ve been recovering ever since.

    If someone can give me a link to ordering “Painkiller,” (insert joke here) I would appreciate it very much.

    Be careful on your staircases, fiends.

    John Garratt

  33. avatar
    davem | 16 September 2008 at 8:03 pm #

    What you do is magical SK. I’m looking forward to Painkiller more than you could imagine.
    Glad to hear you’re on the mend John. If you take the link to Karmic Hit from this page you’ll find Painkiller up for sale.

  34. avatar
    steve kilbey | 16 September 2008 at 8:35 pm #

    oh john…i’m so sorry to hear that
    please get well soon…we love you here
    my gmail is not working so sorry , if you aint heard from me
    (can any one help me with this
    gmail wont come on just oscillates between 2 pages but can never materialise…?!)
    kh were swamped with orders and are in the process
    of sending PK out now!!!
    please be patients
    its worth the weight

  35. avatar
    veleska1970 | 16 September 2008 at 9:08 pm #

    get well soon, john!!

  36. avatar
    jeffrey cain | 17 September 2008 at 9:34 pm #

    ah ha

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