posted on March 27, 2007 at 8:43 pm

oh impressions of life
how improbable it all is
i still have to remind myself
a multi-multi-levelled happening
being how lucky you are
you are a lucky being and how
like rusty always says
the luck of the devil
ive been lucky to have those 2 guys for mina broder
well it coulda been a lot worse
i coulda gotta nother pair of mes….
still fascinated by memory
i experiment with my minds library
drugs and yoga can dislodge whole obscure chunks
hitherto given up as “cant remember anymore”
i am stranger within my own brain
stranger than you can imagine
but what is it that contains the other memories
the ones i shall not see
occaisionally
i catch a glimpse of something so inviting
and something so awful
and sometimes i cant tell them apart
all i can tell you is theres a lotta material there
a lot of files to peruse
a lotta data to examine
who set it up this way o muse?
nevets youd go crazy if you knew all that stuff
they release it to you in tiny drops
lifetime over lifetime
incarnation on incarnation
who writes these words o muse?
you do nevets
but who am i?
who am i?
who am i?
you are you are you
timebeing in space
mortal man
must i feel so alone then
muse i feel like the water in my bath has gone cold
muse i feel like the candles have suddenly extinguished themselves
and next doors box of kittens have turned into crows
yes yes
calm down
little poppet
poor nevets
you child-man
how can they let you run about like that?
a bitter vah disgrace
making this all up
whos talking now?
are we alone here?
where?
down here
down here in this black box
driving in this fog
the object of the game remains unknown
no object
no game
then what?
forget yourself
then what ?
youre not able to know it
whats down there in those memories?
only you
then let me have them
i do, all the time
but
yes?
but i want more faster
i bet you do
give me memory
oh nevets
please
not mine to give
this memory mine …
but still contained within
nevets you always looking for a guarantee
from the moment you get up
to the moment you lay down
but never never
a leap of faith
you hear so much about faith
but you gotta believe in something
so why not faith?
what is faith?
hoping something improbable is true
knowing inside in unexplainable terms
diving into black water
walking around blindfolded in the dark
hearing possibilities
faith is different
faith can not be pinned down with definition
yeah ok
whatever you say
isnt it strange that the very thing youre hoping for
the very thing in a nutshell
the most important thing
the most confidential information
it remains…..elusive

45 Responses to “separate form must be completed”

  1. avatar
    Daberhasher | 27 March 2007 at 9:51 pm #

    and that’s why everyday is a new day, i reckon… thanks for sharing your strengths and weaknesses olde bean…

    aloha,
    ee

  2. avatar
    the dean | 27 March 2007 at 9:51 pm #

    if we could pin faith down, we’d probably find it disappointing. like wanting something and getting it.

  3. avatar
    Symon | 27 March 2007 at 10:12 pm #

    “nevets you always looking for a guarantee
    from the moment you get up
    to the moment you lay down”

    Steve…thanks for being so unafraid and so unashamed to put into words this deep dark part of the human character…yours, mine…ours.

    There are no guarantees in life I hear said…I know that now..I can see that now. Faith…or faith in faith is a most inneresting concept.

    SK…Keep delving…keep exploring…keep talking to your Shadow and in helping yourself, it is possible that you will provide a well lit path for many others that follow.

  4. avatar
    fantasticandy | 27 March 2007 at 10:15 pm #

    feelin’ cryptic today are we?
    is faith the unquestioning belief
    that there is something worth beliving in?
    interesting no?
    yours faithfuly,
    andy L.

  5. avatar
    verdelay | 27 March 2007 at 10:29 pm #

    Yes.

    I’ve seen you down the aisles of a vast, vaulted library, tearing at the spines and scratching at the pages; or playing with the covers, and trying on a new jacket for size.

    I asked you what you were looking for, what you wanted to read, but you looked at me wildly and replied with nothing.

    I could see that you didn’t understand what I was saying. I could see that you didn’t read the language all these books are written in. Never mind the senseless classification system devised, it seems to you, by deranged baboons.

    Because I am a librarian, I felt compassion for you, and I cradled you in my arms while you wept and wept. And I wept too, for the hopelessness of your predicament.

    Later, I led you to another section, deep in the catacombs, where the forbidden books are kept.

    I showed you row after row of picture books, books for children, rhymes and simple phrases…and you began to understand.

    You hungered for more, so I took you deeper.

    As we walked on, down heliacal staircases, your salt encrusted eyes dilated with wonder…or were they just rheumy with the dust? …and I took you deeper and deeper still.

    Numbers and symbols came and went like seasons.

    Until at last we came to the centre of the library, the dark, pumping heart of the labyrinth, where the alchemists, cataloguers, soothsayers, mystics and psychopomps trawl through the multitudinous layers of all knowledge, divine and mundane, so that we mortals may begin to understand what is written.

    And in a quiet corner I introduced you to your dabbling muse, the one among this pantheon of pantheons who speaks only to you, and she went to her shelf and fetched for you the volume of your life, as yet unfinished, and read a page or two, randomly, in a tongue you could finally understand.

    And understand you did, at last.

    And you continued to understand until the moment you awoke.

  6. avatar
    mattdavison | 27 March 2007 at 10:30 pm #

    We hunger for something intangable, something even you can’t provide……Who’s to think that in one hundred years we will just be microfish.
    m

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2007 at 10:44 pm #

    Just remember sk, “Memory Is White”…..GOD I love that track!

    Have a beautiful day.
    Love you always,
    Amanda

  8. avatar
    Cee | 27 March 2007 at 11:17 pm #

    Faith…Trust…fragile

  9. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 March 2007 at 11:39 pm #

    faith is the ability to trust even though you don’t know. hope is positive expectation.

  10. avatar
    skyintheairwaves | 27 March 2007 at 11:43 pm #

    faith is hoping that there will be some unreleased treasures sprinkled into that new 2CD singles collection!!!!

  11. avatar
    MEM | 27 March 2007 at 11:46 pm #


    i awake from my dream

    where i was visiting someones home
    a man is on the roof

    scafolding and ladders connected
    to a window

    we’re up miles high the whole place
    floating like an air baloon

    i am a respectful guest and
    try not to impose myself

    i want to help this man on the roof
    but i’m afraid

    i don’t want to disrupt
    a dangerouse situation

    i’m afraid for my
    own safety

    other guest are mingling about, casually
    my thoughts are on you

    i think my presence here could be
    a distraction

    i shouldn’t have come, but
    i think how many people have seen this before?

    i should feel lucky
    i’ve been invited (or was i ?)

    it all must be for some purpose?
    still my fear makes me feel a coward

    later i am told we never left the ground
    but this does not eases my concerns

    i know what i should have done

    then i wake-up,
    try to shake it all off

  12. avatar
    kat | 28 March 2007 at 12:30 am #

    the more we learn,
    the less we believe to be true
    the more we prove,
    the more remains to be proved
    we’ve gotta’ be strong men
    and follow a path again
    we’ve gotta have faith in something
    bigger
    faith in something big inside
    ourselves – the who

  13. avatar
    tim | 28 March 2007 at 12:33 am #

    If thoughts can be communicated trough telepathic energies, how do you know if those memories you glimpse are yours or someone elses?

    Interesting post today.

    Tim

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 1:00 am #

    oh …..baby……….as a vision impaired,penis impaired person,or blind chick,not v p.c. at all…..GOOD!Faith is knowing that your daughter,lover,cat,friends,and fly ins……….even the conices of the doors that unashamedly bruise your forehead..are things of beauty…..just be !xxxxloveand lyrics gen

  15. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 28 March 2007 at 1:35 am #

    “elusive” wood be an under statement, in me mind’s eye you are going to pass me up once again aren’t you me esskay, not cool…
    Hollywood

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 1:38 am #

    as a vision impaired penis person ………so damned pc …..bugger that…….as a blind member of the congregation today ……..faith happens when you must entrust your everything to nothing.my child,my lover, my cat,my family,and friends,even fly ins or the cornices oof the doors,which bruise my brow……are a thingy of beauty…………just be baby xxxxx

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 1:38 am #

    as a vision impaired penis person ………so damned pc …..bugger that…….as a blind member of the congregation today ……..faith happens when you must entrust your everything to nothing.my child,my lover, my cat,my family,and friends,even fly ins or the cornices oof the doors,which bruise my brow……are a thingy of beauty…………just be baby xxxxx

  18. avatar
    ~ | 28 March 2007 at 1:56 am #

    nevets you do know all this stuff
    because genius and madness
    walk together
    I will remind you
    of the things you forget
    in transition

    awful and beautiful things
    are two sides of the same magic
    both of us needed them
    to understand each other
    here
    to Heal

    and Faith
    is Love and Trust
    Trined harmonies
    slide the windows open with your intuition
    use invisible hands
    c’mon your good at it
    please do not use rusty keys in back doors
    yes I See you
    in my basement
    have Faith
    have Faith
    have Faith
    and I will come to you
    sooner than you think
    Always

    ~

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 2:04 am #

    see if uou trust sometimes lightning strikes twice/love to you and your girls gen buckingham xxx

  20. avatar
    eek | 28 March 2007 at 2:43 am #

    isnt it strange that the very thing youre hoping for
    the very thing in a nutshell
    the most important thing
    the most confidential information
    it remains…..elusive

    ain’t that the truth! I imagine if I actually did find it I would still be dissatisfied and unhappy, so it’s probably best to not know. It would really suck to get what I most want only to find I was still miserable.

  21. avatar
    Cita | 28 March 2007 at 3:14 am #

    mmm…elusive. We fantasize about so much of our lives thinking it is all within our grasp but the real truth of our lives is that most of it eludes us.

  22. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 28 March 2007 at 3:23 am #

    “they release it to you in tiny drops
    lifetime over lifetime
    incarnation on incarnation”

    we speak of “they”
    as though
    it were something
    separate
    apart

    but when we really see..

    we become the releaser
    not the releasee

    from the perspective of
    Spirit
    all lifetimes occur
    simultaneously

    releasing negativity in one
    automatically
    releases negativity
    throughout

    focus on this one

    unburden the load

    trust

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 4:20 am #

    for such an evolved one i just don’t get it. you’re in touch deeply with your muse or yourself.you fucking play music and get paid for it. you can even articulate your very thoughts. so when are you going to admit to what it is you need. your aloneness is fucking palpable and yet you say you have it all.
    call it stuck in a spiralling labyrinthine pattern, fear of happiness,fear of death, co-dependence, what the hell ever
    but
    you know you are a perfect reflection of God or whatever she is called and you know the paths you can take.
    Be kind
    Be gentle
    BE you
    it’s going to be alright
    it’s all gonna be ok
    but then again
    i’m scared to take risks too
    xxx

  24. avatar
    ~ | 28 March 2007 at 5:39 am #

    yes, mem
    the content does seem contextualised
    however
    this one was
    parabolic, not parable
    I really did dream that a giant owl was in my backyard
    say if you dreamt you were picked up by the school bus
    and a horse was driving it
    a tad unexpected! a bit bizarre!
    the creature spoke to my dreaming self
    inside my dreaming mind
    without uttering a sound
    that dream is at the top
    of a long list of nocturnal
    surrealist travels

    ~

  25. avatar
    Leelinau | 28 March 2007 at 6:04 am #

    so, going off the theory that like attracts like

    we can conclude that
    we are all fucking nuts

    ew

    what did your fortune cookie say?

    heheee
    ^_^

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 12:07 pm #

    May we trust the inexpressible benevolence of the creative impulse.

    PV

  27. avatar
    Music | 28 March 2007 at 12:11 pm #

    Music is silence, singing

  28. avatar
    restaurant mark | 28 March 2007 at 12:42 pm #

    i like veleska’s comment…short and sweet but dead on to me.
    oh by the way…missed yesterday so had to catch up. been reading the smacked bottom girls blog…it’s just the same old thing every time. smack…oooh baby, smack….oooh baby. i mean i’m alright with that, but i think i’ll read the stoned ravings of a silly old rocker instead.

  29. avatar
    don joe | 28 March 2007 at 12:53 pm #

    It is there, just reach out for it. It will come to you.

    Yes Tim, it is possible to impose one’s thoughts on another so you are right in what you say. Kinda scary considering that most people don’t know this and generate the most henous ideas and let them permeate another’s space without permission. So I do it back to them and they leave wondering what’s chasing them.

    It is all in the future..live there, breath and enjoy it. It’s ours to cherish, fondle and evolve. And I think that is a wonderful opportunity for us to experience.

    ML,
    don joe

  30. avatar
    gator | 28 March 2007 at 1:22 pm #

    “vision impaired penis person.”

    PENIS PERSON?!

    ok, NOW it’s weird around here.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 2:39 pm #

    fechnical tuckup by penis girl ,maybe fraudian slip…..bumble on bumble bee ha genx

  32. avatar
    John Garratt | 28 March 2007 at 2:40 pm #

    Memories = painful.

    John

  33. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 28 March 2007 at 2:49 pm #

    Mr. Kilbey is always mystical and existential. I deeply appreciate him for refuting the atheists, the nihilists and all pedantic ideologues. Kilbey is spiritual without being pious and he has reverence for all life evidenced by the fact that he is a compassionate vegan.

  34. avatar
    nic | 28 March 2007 at 3:21 pm #

    missed a few days – trying to catch up…
    SK it is a true PRIVELEDGE to share your blogg – an insight into your world and thoughts – I love it so.
    As I skim over the last few days entries (it’s 1am here in Sydney – am a little tired) it seems that there have been nasty comments (AGAIN) – and I feel dismayed (AGAIN!).
    How can anyone be upset/nasty/negative with someone sharing their personal thoughts and opinions via their own personal blogg??? Isn’t that what a blogg is about??? If it’s not your ‘thing’ – then don’t take a peak!!! sheesh!!!

    SK – keep on sharing your words – we read them all eagerly and with much gratitude that you even take the time to do so.

    xxxxxxxx

  35. avatar
    matthew | 28 March 2007 at 4:05 pm #

    “next doors box of kittens have turned into crows” – what a freakin brilliant image! and, “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” and that’s all for now.

  36. avatar
    davem | 28 March 2007 at 5:15 pm #

    Hi.
    Just reading Eastern Thoughts for the Western Mind.
    Is that western mind part of the problem? We can’t strip away the possessions, the longing for things….clouding our view. Blocking our hearing.

  37. avatar
    JJ | 28 March 2007 at 6:09 pm #

    “All I ever wanted to see…..is just invisible to me”

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 6:11 pm #

    answers not questions…

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 6:14 pm #

    what kind of stripping away will finally tear down unfounded faith…then we can move on …complex formulae…still unwritten…wait and SEE~*~

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 7:36 pm #

    Faith is an Island in the setting sun
    Proof, is the bottom line for everyone – Paul Simon..

    You know, my muse says..
    Its gonna be even better than okay

    that all this unknowing and wonder about the recessed caverns and rattling chambers in our soul are flash connections of our telepathic potentials,
    Our minds incessant need to formulate and logify everything is part of our processing..
    Surely there are many components that which brings forth this Attaaaaachment, and it become complicated, I still need to better understand it..
    I will share what I find, cause I have dogs but I dont have kids, I love them like kids but I can easily fantasize about life beyond them, with kids its more complicated..

    Well, Ive been having some real adventures in my dreams
    I can control my flying, I just sat on a clouded terrace with Stevie Wonder and we were singing, and laughing.. our bodies got younger as we meditated together, Id love to go back there,

    What I really want to say is that
    the notion that Everything is so unknowable is False.. in regards to this everything..
    You’d be suprised how much Vedanta yoga has known about this everthing ..and for how many centuries..

    The skeptics speak in their tone of questioning and doubt as they should, but then when you learn how to know thru intuition then different doors open up..
    the mind is to be groomed
    if the extent of mental exercise is bearded white men philosophy
    then maybe one needs to find the ideas that where swept under the rug…

    I find it interesting how I find myself thinking when I read and read how these ideas of consciousness are so well understood by them.
    The notion of maya became a blessing to me..
    It made sense, It wasnt blurry poetry, it wasnt a notion at all..
    it was Me, it was everything that was unsure, it was all the real doubt, all Maya in my face everyday..
    I became reclusive..
    I couldnt walk with ease..
    I was afraid..
    I was a walking myth..
    searching for my purpose and validation..
    I had no direction seemingly
    at least in this time and place..
    then I started singing…
    LA fA LI Mo De AH OM tat sE OM..
    and I made this world my own..
    as we all do…
    But its just beginning.. as I see it
    how lucky to find something like Vedanta, Pure chance,
    And sure at a glance you think how do these characters think they know it. But they do and its every stanza that your mind says Yes I feel that ..they say that with love ..and you learn how to build your energy and create connections to the force.. Not by empty superstition.. It aint bullshit..
    If my ego needed to prove it I wouldnt be able to.. its thee top of the software.. trust me
    Cause it is a process to learn and its not easy to learn something new, especially when you think youre smart.. But Wow does the notion of intelligence seem to change with these ideas..
    So now its so much better..
    Now I change directions in the stream.. and go anywhere,
    Im still bound by this flesh
    but less and less of it dictates how I make love…

    jaime r..

  41. avatar
    knot | 28 March 2007 at 8:13 pm #

    i do agree
    there is a river in chicago
    i have never been there

  42. avatar
    knot | 28 March 2007 at 8:17 pm #

    Tim,
    If you are a telepath, nothing is yours.

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 March 2007 at 9:25 pm #

    cmon, let’s get it over with the bitching and write something we can all enjoy, maybe then you can get your ratings up

  44. avatar
    isolde | 28 March 2007 at 10:27 pm #

    it’s not always there in black and white
    sometimes it’s all white

  45. avatar
    captainmission | 28 March 2007 at 11:12 pm #

    is memory that important anyway, does it enslave or entrap us?
    sometimes i forget everything and i feel a sense of freedom, sometimes i recall everything and i feel trapped by my past, locked in to some sort of anchor that keeps me attached to what i must be, the sum of my parts, but i know i am more than my past, and my future is mine to write but can i write it without influence of the past?
    to be free it seems one does not need memory, but do we want to be free? thats the question.


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