posted on July 24, 2007 at 6:51 am

sitting here looking at the classic single collection
justa got my copy
david fricke has written some very very kind liner notes
theres some pictures of us
you may never have seen
ha nick ward even gets his mug on here
in his stripey blazer with rolled up sleeves
me im skinny and angular as they used to say
i got short dark hair n a stupid pout
then ploogy arrives all eighteen years of age
a teenage genius of the drum kit
an incredible character
us playing on a tv show 1982
i still had my ibanez fretless bass
making starfish
im actually smiling
peter looking relaxed
ploogy laying down a beat
on what was sadly to be his last real record with us
then live at the roxy
gee am i having a bad hair day or what
pete n marty look glamourous
with jd in ny 1992
a strange pic
then london polka dot shirt
short hair clean shaven
then portland 2004
the era of the modern being
ah we dont look too bad there
back cover
an early balmain shot at richards old house
god what mysterious blokes….
then a starfish shot
then 2003 in glebe spacejunk studio
then a shot from blurred crusade live days
when we had a huge lighting truss
the record itself i probably wont listen to
why would i?
i heard it all before
aint i?
but its a nice package
and you got all our “singles” on one disc
so there you go
it wasnt my idea
but seeing its out
i hope it sells millions
although that
of course
is highly unlikely

was kicking round a footy this arvo
with some other dads from the school
when i went to mark the ball
ie thats aussie rules talk for catching it
and it slipped right thru my fingers
and smacked me right in the testicles
holy fucking toledo
what a feeling that is, thrillseekers
lost my breath
double up
into a new universe called pain
everything else recedes
someone says never mind
you gotta nuff kids…
the kids gather round their fallen daddy
daddy daddy dad they squeak in fear n misery
its ok i gasp
just go away
after that i play football gingerly
i dont care so much if i catch the bloody thing or not
hooo doggie
thats pretty much my day
warm mild overcast weather here

63 Responses to “shallow balls”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 7:29 am #

    Worst pain there is….

    …although you should check with your wife about childbirth.


  2. avatar
    Thelonious | 24 July 2007 at 7:42 am #

    SK, so sorry to hear about the Gormans getting hit. Yes that hurts!!

  3. avatar
    fantasticandy | 24 July 2007 at 7:46 am #

    you can add vegtable farming to your long list of talents now.
    ….welll, you have just recived a couple of acres!!!!!!
    andy L.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 7:57 am #




  5. avatar
    paul lightfoot | 24 July 2007 at 8:01 am #

    That happened when I was 13 at school in North Wales. Have avoided a footie ball ever since. Have avoided ALL contact sport ever since. Fuck sport. Yawn.

    Yahoo!!!!!! 4 sleeps to go before the Killer hits town!!

    Paul L
    Auckland, NZ

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 8:01 am #

    Ouch, its rough one seeing the stars n the daylight..
    Congrats on the shallows..
    Hopin the pockets get a lil deeper

    peace jaime r…..

  7. avatar
    paul lightfoot | 24 July 2007 at 8:05 am #

    Shit! I hope you don’t sing like Frankie Valli now after having your gonads smashed!!!

  8. avatar
    malcolm arkey | 24 July 2007 at 8:05 am #

    Oh my golly goolies !

    God built that mechanism into males as an occasional reminder to them that they are not the omnipotent lords that they often think they are.

    …gasp, gasp…

  9. avatar
    malcolm arkey | 24 July 2007 at 8:09 am #


    yesterday’s quote was from a famous personality of indeterminate identity

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 8:09 am #

    are you OK now?

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 8:20 am #

    the king of eighties paisley alternative cool playing football – surely you jest – next you’ll be tellin us that you tune in to roy and hg every sunday

  12. avatar
    craig1.618 | 24 July 2007 at 8:22 am #

    i met a guy from melbourne in my old city a few years back……he was in town on business…..worked for rjr or brown foreman (one of those giganto tobacco pushers)

    he tried to explain austrailian rules football to me and explain how popular it was in his country……but it just didn’t click with me….i never really understood it…..later on i actually saw a match/game on the tele……buncha strapping lads missing teeth and such……….looking like they were having a good time i suppose…….but it really didn’t compare to european football or the nfl type here in the states

    a really nice guy he was……..i remember thinking that australia must be a great place to live if the rest of the folks were as nice as him

  13. avatar
    A Glamorous dignified lady in the AFL crowd | 24 July 2007 at 8:41 am #

    “When the referee waves his arms{,to signify a goal} up and down,then rests them at an90 degree angleabout a foot apart…..must we all REALLY shout………………… “How big’s ya dick”?”

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 9:27 am #

    Hey sk,

    If I were u I’ld leave the football alone and stick to the music. You definitely chose the right field of work. Think of what the footie players have to go through each match, wouldn’t want to trade places with them.

    Looking forward to playing the singles collection, some songs I haven’t heard before, but bet there are some that will become new fav songs.

    Talking about songs, I was thinking about “Buffalo” lassa nite, cause I was at a club and was drawn to this machine, with the big Buffalo staring at me. Thought it could be a good omen. Put $1 in and had a really good run, ended up taking $18 out. Could have taken a bit more but I was hoping to win the big one. Bu I’m not complaining had a good time. Next time I play the pokies I will be looking for another Buffalo machine, and singing the song in my head.

    Peace & love,

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 9:44 am #

    Ha ha, funny title sk! Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
    Love Amanda

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 9:57 am #

    How are your balls today Steve? Veleska can give you a massage. 😉

    Kilbo, Kilbo, Kilbissímooooooo

  17. avatar
    isolde | 24 July 2007 at 10:19 am #

    Catch Ball At Four

  18. avatar
    eek | 24 July 2007 at 10:22 am #

    Ouch! I even cringed. I did have to laugh at the helpful fellow with the “you gotta nuff kids…” comment though.

    I’m looking forward to getting the singles collection (it’s on the way). Obviously I’m not looking as forward to it as much I am to your solo project and the one with Martin Kennedy both because I’ve heard almost everything on there before and because I like “proper” albums better than this type of collection. But I figure at the very least the singles collection will be a good introduction to the band since people do ask fairly often if you have a best of album, and this one at least will give them a taste of all the band’s phases.

    And you know — I find any Church album a thrill. 🙂

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 10:28 am #

    Big white hairy balls, chinese balls. Post a pic

  20. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 July 2007 at 10:51 am #

    yeeeeeOUCH!!!! **cringing** i’ll bet that kicked your voice up a few octaves.

    about the new disc~~you are such a tease, steve!! mine is in transit right now. i couldn’t wait already for its arrival, and now i REALLY can’t. i’m with eek~~i’m thrilled with any church album, but i’m also anxiously awaiting your tunes as well.

    hope you’re feeling better. i’ve been hit square in the, ahem, “chest” a few times while playing sports~~played a lot of basketball in high school. major owies.

    lotza love….

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 11:05 am #

    Don’t you wish ‘Busdriver’ had been an A-side?!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 11:08 am #

    Channel 4 started to show Aussie Rules on UK tv in 1987 and it was really popular for a time – but the usual whinging Poms over ere went “ooh, it’s terribly violent and look, the players attack each other AND the crowd, there’s more fights than football” and C4 took it off.
    After awhile they started showing it again but with all the fights edited out – and no-one watched it anymore!
    What does that tell yer?!

  23. avatar
    Sellersville Theatre | 24 July 2007 at 11:33 am #

    Stevie, you’re the coolest!!

  24. avatar
    ride a red and white swan | 24 July 2007 at 11:34 am #

    I hope
    you weren’t
    wearing those
    Warwick Cappa
    shorts when
    “the incident”

  25. avatar
    the grandstand glamslam theatre | 24 July 2007 at 11:52 am #

    Stevie youre the coolest

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 11:53 am #

    I think that Oz & the UK have better sport in their footy and soccer than the brutal American Football. Just wish we Americans would get with the rest of the world on that. For that reason I welcome Beckam.

    Killa’s a bit like Beckam tho…he gets hurt, and the ladies go woooo #-!. Many sympathies. While you’re on the subject…may I bring up a related sensitive subject if you don’t mind? I read a fan was twirling a cue stick, and around the corner walks one Steve Kilbey. How much truth is there that the stick was ever so briefly lodged in that general direction? The ladies go doh! wooo

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 12:11 pm #

    Once again, The Unguarded Moment!

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 12:17 pm #

    were you surprised??

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 12:34 pm #

    Ouch! I guess Chrome Injury takes on a whole new meaning now huh?

    Tampa, Fl

  30. avatar
    Mike | 24 July 2007 at 1:09 pm #


    We would like to do an interview with you about your blog for . We’d like to give you the opportunity to
    give us some insight on the “person behind the blog.”

    It would just take a few minutes of your time. The interview form can
    be submitted online at

    Best regards,

    Mike Thomas

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 1:15 pm #


    so you have got balls


  32. avatar
    lily was here | 24 July 2007 at 1:27 pm #

    Oooh Steve…painful AND embarrassing. An unguarded moment hey? 🙂

    Where was Joycie? Every football player needs a mum on the sidelines to run over and bash the opposition on the head ‘Dont you hurt my boy you big ugly thug’ LOL Um, hope they’re feeling better by now! Guess you cant put Deep Heat on ’em either. BTW I love the Deep In The Shallows collection, kind of a tripp down memory lane with great packaging. Ripple sounds damn good blasting out of the band’s myspace page!


  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 1:50 pm #

    Do Aussie Rules players have odd shaped balls?

  34. avatar
    melquiades | 24 July 2007 at 2:00 pm #

    Ah, hence the title. ouch! Not a good place to be hit.

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 2:14 pm #

    How many of the songs on this compilation will you be getting royalties from?

  36. avatar
    John Garratt | 24 July 2007 at 2:17 pm #

    Almost everyone in my band think that David Fricke is a douchebag…except for me. Not only did he only have nice things to say about the Church, but he was able to do it while side-stepping all of those stupid cliches that other critics have adopted. (dreamy lyrics, swirling guitars, blabbity, blabbity, I’ll collect my paycheck now…)


  37. avatar
    John Garratt | 24 July 2007 at 2:18 pm #

    The sixth word of my comment should be ‘thinks.’

    John Garratt

  38. avatar
    I'm sorry but I'm English | 24 July 2007 at 2:24 pm #

    As a Limey/Pommy-bahstard, I have to ask:
    who the fuck is David Fricke?

  39. avatar
    stupid question askers?whats with that? | 24 July 2007 at 2:49 pm #

    are you getting royalties….from the astronomical society…from the times they say “milky way”? ….Happy trails from,all of us

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 3:34 pm #

    so does this mean u can sing the high parts in unguarded moment now?

  41. avatar
    snowfaller | 24 July 2007 at 4:12 pm #

    David Fricke is a douchebag – but at least he does say nice things about the only band that matters.

    Hope the family jewels are doing better, Killer.

    I eagerly await Deep In The Shallows as well – don’t know why but even though I have heard all of those songs thousands of times the idea of opening up any “new” Church release sends tingles up and down my spine!

  42. avatar
    davem | 24 July 2007 at 6:31 pm #

    I have to buy Shallows otherwise there’ll be a gap in my collection.
    However, I love the ebb and flow of the original albums – the order is so ingrained in my tiny brummie brain that to deviate is disconcerting. So…..I’ll enjoy it for the piccies (though I’ll be amazed if they’re previously unseen)and the sleeve notes.
    I hope it sells enough copies to earn you some decent money ‘cos they’re magnificent songs.
    Sorry about your groin injury – you should stick to REAL football. Birmingham City back in the Premiership…..Keep Right On!!
    Love you more Esskay,


  43. avatar
    JUNIOR PAINKILLER | 24 July 2007 at 6:58 pm #

    wow these fiends really like to talk bout your “balls”, me was playing soccer early in me morning one day back when me was ‘a’ young lad and me got neld in me balls by soccer ball, it was embarrassing, but me still had to play with me “black & blue balls”…

  44. avatar
    JUNIOR PAINKILLER | 24 July 2007 at 7:00 pm #

    one more thing, hey all you choich fiends, check out me blogge today,

  45. avatar
    CSTCoach | 24 July 2007 at 7:21 pm #

    waiting for the singles collection and the cool new t-shirt. i bought it mainly for the liner notes and pics, cause i have all these great songs and the albums they brought with em. But this new compilation would be great xmas fodder. That’ll make shopping a lot easier this year.

    YIKES! Sorry to hear about the ball to the balls. Been down that road many times and can relate to your misery. I was once thrown in a tomoe nage but with a shin to the balls. That’s enough to bring back past lives. To my surprise I got right back up and kept fighting, but only cause i was too scared to stay down…

    safe travels to NZ, druid. Looking fwd to the play by play of the show. And will set up a new vid clip for you on your return.

    take care.


  46. avatar
    Helen Harmony | 24 July 2007 at 9:05 pm #


  47. avatar
    the dean | 24 July 2007 at 10:06 pm #

    Next you’ll be seen at the foody (correct spelling) with Russell Crow.

    yeah I got the singles collection and the Tshirt, we all need another black T.

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2007 at 10:27 pm #

    Hey sk, I had a peek at your “new-look” myspace page…very nice, a lot easier to read now. And your moving paintings look great, still saving to buy one, one of these days !!!
    Love Amanda
    P.S. it’s so weird reading comments from people wishing your balls a speedy recovery!!!! hahaha

  49. avatar
    Melquiades | 24 July 2007 at 10:56 pm #

    You singing soprano on the next offering?

  50. avatar
    the dean | 24 July 2007 at 11:10 pm #

    I’ve been sitting here listening to the singles collection and I must say that my initial skepticism towards compilations in general has been turn to pleasure by the strange evolutionary nature of each song.

    a history, a family album, a joy.

  51. avatar
    Celticat | 25 July 2007 at 12:46 am #

    Steve, you did coponeindenuts

    sorry but that was a crack up. What is it about nurries, poo and farting that is so funny.

    Ooooops the great unwashed in me popped out for a look.

    Brings back memories or cricket as a kid without the dreaded “box”. Got hit big time and it didn’t hurt for a millisecond. During that millisecond my knees buckled and I fell to the ground and curled up in a ball cos I knew what was coming! No fun with your mates laughing like crazy while you are lying there whimpering and being to scared to get up in case:

    a) they were gone, crushed, mangled and disfunctional
    b) it hurt more

    Loved yon blog today, love hearing about you interacting with your family.

    Stay well!

    Love to you all

  52. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 July 2007 at 12:56 am #

    nuts to you!

  53. avatar
    Symon | 25 July 2007 at 1:00 am #

    Steve… really should try letting the ball slip through your fingers at 8.00am in a footy match in Ballarat in the middle of winter (5degree c)..only to smack into your face and take off your nose. I didn’t move for about 3 minutes ha ha aaagghhh. I agree though…one right in the goolies aint a lot of fun either.

    cheers SYMON

  54. avatar
    andmoreagain | 25 July 2007 at 1:01 am #

    So that’s what Under the Milky Way wuz about…

  55. avatar
    andmoreagain | 25 July 2007 at 1:06 am #

    What is this, the third collection now? You’d think you guys had enough mansions in Nice. More seriously though it’ll be nice to have a collection of the old with the new stuff which totally stands up and in my opinion eclipses the old. I’ve been trying to get an old Church fiend interested again and this might be the way to do it.When’s the Starfish 20th anniversary tour starting anyway?

  56. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 July 2007 at 1:26 am #

    killer please come see us in the states again soon…shouldn’t you guys be touring to promote this collection?
    c’mon ya know you want to…

  57. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 July 2007 at 1:44 am #


  58. avatar
    One Man Dog | 25 July 2007 at 1:54 am #

    I am Sick to death of stupid fucks going on about the new eclipsing the old. The old will always have an essence to it not better but more intense, full of youthfull exuberance. The new will have the wisdom and wistfulness of the modernised world and the frailty of trying too hard as death approaches. A remodelling of the old in some ways. Anyway the middle stuff is always the best- like the beatles revolver. In terms of the Church-Heyday,Starfish and the very underrated GAF was their rubber soul/Revolver period. Priest was like the white album/Magical Mystery tour era. And well you can forget the rest. 2 Places at once was Smack filled Lush that i kinda like!(because I have tasted the lovely white) Hologram of Baal was a Rehash. After Everything was sublte and nice like maybe Paul’s first album. Forget yourself felt like a couple of old mystics belting out the reverb of some synthetic glue-Still good but no cigar. What I am trying to say is that the middle stuff is always the stuff where a band in effect gets their Ya YA’s Out.

    Yours in a white wine sauce,


  59. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 July 2007 at 8:02 am #

    Hi Steve…oooh, missed both your legs eh? I blame that chick who yelled out at you to stop taking marks and talking footy at the Geelong gig in March (if only we’d known what it would lead to!)…you were really enjoying yourself and my workmate (and the rest of the crowd) and i were loving it! Especially that big one ‘you took’ from the side of stage…(Gee, i dunno, some people just can’t see the comedy sometimes)…Anyway, i say get back in the saddle and go and have another kick of the footy, it’ll do ya good killa…surely it couldn’t happen again could it?!!!:)


    Jon from Geelong (Go Cats!)

  60. avatar
    Dinosaur Swamp | 25 July 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    Now you are a real red-blooded, red-balled Australian bloke

  61. avatar
    gavgams | 25 July 2007 at 12:53 pm #

    Very nice telling of one of life’s more difficult and speechless moments.

  62. avatar
    nickF | 25 July 2007 at 5:36 pm #

    starfish was amazing no matter what you think or say…….. it may be my favourite piece of music ever written … PERIOD! don’t know why, I guess I find something there you don’t ……..

  63. avatar
    john in austin, texas | 25 July 2007 at 8:18 pm #

    Steve, have you read “Hyperion” by Dan Simmons?

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