posted on April 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm

lotus elan position

in 1993 living in surry hills on albion st

a 3 story terrace house complete with recording studio

a doctor on the gear

a dominatrix

and an assorted cast of musicians , junkies , flunkies n fools

grant mclennan and i reassembled jacques frost as he called it

lowdown mean n dirty ok alright

i had a huge habit n grantley wasnt all that far behind

actually some days he abstained and went thru that torment

occasionally we couldnt get any n we both played on thru the suffering

fucking gives ya an edge i tell ya going thru opiate withdrawals

life is right there in yer face right there !

other times i stumbled over to jason n rhondas place

what a fucking rigmarole

you could never just turn up

you had to make an appointment in code

telling em what you wanted

monday meant a fifty

tuesday meant a hundred

wednesday was a half

and the weekend was a gram

the good weekend! the junky doctor used to say to em down the phone

they took ages solemnly weighing up this ridiculous powder

i mean have you ever seen how much ya get for 300 bucks?

like half a teaspoonful or something

anyway a load of other famous actors n singers n dancers frequented the joint

jason n rhonda were such philistines

they didnt realise  that skinny guy with all the black hair was a goth god

they didnt realise that boyish geeza was one of our top actors

anyway im digressing

grant and i were obsessed by the gear n all its many rituals

the whole fucking box n dice

i had more money at the time than grant

and sometimes oh i was so kind laying it on him gratis

othertimes i was a right fuckin’ bastard

i dole him out a tiny little bit

and then get loaded myself outrageously

we had a stupid jokes

we had our stupid codes

heroin was our girlfriend our only girlfriend

we bitched about her we praised her

we despaired of her

and when i saw more of her than grant

he got fucking very jealous

the record was engineered by my brother russell

and tim powles played on it quite brilliantly

grant n i watched a doco on the mamas n papas

we both fell in love with michelle phillips

and we both determined to get some of their interweaving harmonies

listen to running from the body

a complex typical grant story about a murder

“what about them bones in the orchard wall”

we let our guitars rip

grant n i wandered about permanently strapped up

because inspiration was striking us at all hours

on hot city nights we’d hang on the steps outside

me smokin’ dope with opium

grant smokin’ peter stuyvos

we’d strike up conversations with passers by

or i’d try n embarrass him if any females went by

we were on a pretty busy street albion street

a mecca at the time for intellectuals, prostitutes, drug dealers, gays, winos, punks

adolf hitler woulda hated the places to smithereens

i’d sing streets of your town to passing bints

grant’d protest oh steven steven no no stop …

back in the house i had a 24 track n all the latest stuff

i had a big leather lounge just like the pros

i had a glass bit between the control n recording rooms

i had a piano n a load of guitars

i had loads of gadgets n i didnt even know what they all did

grant and i would chuck on guitars and plug in n start up

we were raw we were visceral

the songs on this album are disturbing

they are sad songs songs of despair and triumphant hopelessnesses

grant played bass sometimes and i played lead guitar

together we overdubbed loads of other guitars

we always had an idea for some more guitars

i bash away on the piano

tim pounds the drums

its a brutal sound in some places

sometimes grant would drink a bottle of red wine

i might even have a slurp

our muses collided and lurched all over the place

we knocked the stuff out effortlessly

hell i wasnt even trying

you can tell that thats for sure

jesus tho its pretty good

like 2 crazy songwriters on drugs doing whatever they liked

grant surprisingly liked to rock out with a guitar

theres plenty of rocking out

polinski gave it a good mix

tim does some mixing too

it says i produced it

this was my idea of a brilliant production move

hey russell how long is that piece of tape?

its got 2 minutes one second on it

ok lets do a song that lasts 2 minutes one second and let the tape run out

you can hear it on shakedown

the picture inside is me nodded off

ooh i’m lovely when i’m comatose

grants got sunglasses on he looks quite macho

meanwhile the record is angry passionate disillusioned

grants great faith in love seems to have failed him here

i’m in there playing a lot of the instruments

some of the tracks i played everything

i was kinda on a roll too

i was making music constantly

except when i was asleep on the couch

or waiting for the white holden commodore

one of my other dealers

yeah i’d be standing out front waiting for that car

unlike grant i couldnt really play if i was junk-sick

oh god if youve never felt it

like a terrible anguishing aching painful absence

the worst fucking feeling you could never imagine till you felt it

when the endorphins had been shut down n the opiates turned off

you were burning you were freezing you were so down you hurt so bad

sweating shaking sleepless miserable time elongated out to centuries

a nightmare oh you would not believe

dont ever try heroin youll wish you never been born

so there i am spending hundreds of bucks a day to feel normal

i never overdosed once

i lived on custard and sweet soft milky types of things

i had all these silk shirts i bought in thailand

all the same but a different colour

i swapped the very last one with merrick one day in stockholm

he had an amazing shirt i coverted

grant smoked n drank took drugs n rocknrolled

i mean we were such a cliche pair

squabbling over the white lady

n then laying back strumming keith-like riffs

me with a spliff

grant with cig

tim sitting there trying to figure out

which lunatic was supposed to be in charge

it was not pretty n i was not proud of it

we argued over money n drugs

and we fell in n out with each other

i was a panicky when i had run out

i was blase when i was on it

grant was no angel n he was often rude to everyone else

tho usually he was not rude to me

he destroyed me with clever quick quips which might quote me him or dylan

grant n i both loved dylan but i deferred to grant who claimed to love him more

we loved to play dylan songs

we were always doing that bit

“they say i shot a man named gray n took his wife to italy”

we loved to imitate dylan

we dissected his songs

we conspired to secretly rip him off (even more)

all the lyrics are snatches of lives

hard lives sad lives good lives gone wrong

i just wanna know

how long you gonna keep me locked out of your empire?

we were interested in production too

n fooling round with stuff

theres some sophisticated bits amongst the brutality too

wow they were strange times

what was i thinking?

i was reading books by angela carter

oh she is so up my alley

and then i found out she’d been dead awhile…i hadnt realised

grant n i knocked out this song for her

she lives in her own world …we sing optimistically

theres some nice chord progressions

grant n i were across that stuff too

jacks of all trades

we bickered n squabbled n giggled n stormed off

we created we got loaded we felt withdrawals nasty fangs

its all here

its all on this record snow job

grant hated the cover

thought it was too sexy or something

he was a bit of an old fashioned gent when it came to that kinda thing

very courtly romantic sort of sentimental bloke

its in the lyrics too

he cries out against the fickleness of the female

the white lady

the girl hes kinda might be “seeing”

he really wanted to believe in “love”

whatever that means grant was all for it

except these modern girls hadnt read those 19th century books

the ones grant musta had for breakfast during his country days

so he was often telling some faithless loveless woman off or something

boy he could get hurt n jealous of a certain old flame of his too

any mention of her latest news would get him writing a thousand songs

its all there

its all here still in these grooves

i have unearthed the final cache of these cds

about 20 or 30 left in this universe and thats it

send me 25 bucks on paypal (mention snow job) n i’ll send ya one

including postage i guess

yep hes hawking his stuff on his blog folks

shame shame shame

each one will be fabulously auto-graphed by me

(or with a dedication should you desire)

anyway if you wanna own this record

its definitely your last chance

also definitely coming soon

premium sk ; first release DAVID NEIL THE WILDERNESS YEARS

goodnight

 

 

 

 

 

109 Responses to “snow job jobby”

  1. avatar
    hellbound heart | 25 April 2011 at 8:56 pm #

    i have snow job already, friggin’ brilliant……so much pain behind it…..will NEVER try heroin….
    love always……

  2. avatar
    eekie | 25 April 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    You sound a bit like an old married couple.
    Well, maybe an old married couple who lives in the twilight zone.

    It’s is quite an album though, and anyone who doesn’t have it (or wants an autographed copy) should definitely snap one (or more) up here.

  3. avatar
    Abel | 25 April 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    Loved the story behind it. I may send te money in a couple of days (When I’m finally paid my wage!!) What’s yer paypal address???

  4. avatar
    Richard | 25 April 2011 at 9:59 pm #

    a wonderful lament
    for lost friends
    and mainly wasted time

  5. avatar
    . | 25 April 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    i’m one of those birds “up there so high”
    fleeing the religious myths and blatant lies
    rocking dry dock with my a band on the 4th of july
    so disenchanted with the irony and hypocrisy of life
    making my way through the thicket to starry skies
    cut and bruised along the way, hung out to dry
    i try to make sense of it all and can’t deny
    the compelling forces that define me, this guy
    unable to reconcile the questions, try as I might
    like a monk pondering endlessly, the spiritual fight
    profound and enigmatic through the long, cold night
    music my redemption, the coda to the brilliant light
    teach and inspire me, paint this ragged soul bright…

  6. avatar
    princey | 25 April 2011 at 10:15 pm #

    LOVE that album!

  7. avatar
    Burkley | 25 April 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    Still have this too. Fell through the cracks in my transition from CDs to Ipod. Ripping to computer as I write. Always loved Aviatrix, Weightless, and Cousin Angel.

  8. avatar
    Ade | 25 April 2011 at 11:57 pm #

    I got this album when it came out – a real gem- faves are pony express and running from the body. Inspirational stuff. I played it in a country pub once between sets to convert the Barnsey-lovin ignorami.

  9. avatar
    DavidP | 25 April 2011 at 11:59 pm #

    it was hard to read this
    of course it was much much harder for you n grant to be living it
    such a vicious cycle to be caught up in
    i’m glad you managed to get away from it
    i guess plenty o diamond geezers got caught up in it n never got away
    except through their death
    my best friend was one of those
    he died in June 1993 one week before his 22nd birthday
    whilst you were out there living that life on albion street
    he was such a charmer, so friendly, so brotherly, quite popular & lots of friends, very intelligent, best record collection,
    he was a bolan n bowie fan in spades
    we grew up together in the same street only a couple of doors away,
    a cul-de-sac on the leafy lower north shore of sydney harbour
    but he became obsessed by drugs in later teens
    soft drugs first and experimenting and escalating from there
    it ended only by the smallest fraction of an overdose
    but when that happens and the only one with you is out cold too
    death was the result
    i’ve never had any interest in doing that hard stuff n certainly never will
    i’m glad you warn strongly against it
    i now see all the softer ones the same way, its the same principle at work, an inch is as good as a mile, there’s no good amount of it
    its all bad for more than one reason, some of them esoteric
    same as alcohol and ciggies
    sometime soon after he died
    i had this vivid astral experience
    at first semi lucid i guess
    but then i saw him
    not just a figment of imagination
    but an intuitive knowing its really him
    straight away I fully consciously knew this was not physically happening
    the look on his face was one of the most lovingly apologetic and profound regret and sorrow unimaginable all at the same time
    fully cognizant of all the turmoil in so many hearts from his passing and especially in that manner and circumstance and of having lost a golden opportunity life, never to get it back n possibly no more lives left
    we hug, a final tearful and loving goodbye from my kindred spirit brother
    you cant imagine how i was when i woke up from this experience
    evidently its left an indelible impression on my consciousness
    i can say i woke up a different person

    • avatar
      Tracey | 26 April 2011 at 8:41 am #

      is that David you’re talking about?

      • avatar
        DavidP | 26 April 2011 at 1:32 pm #

        no, that is not his name.

        • avatar
          Tracey | 27 April 2011 at 8:52 am #

          thanks David P, your friend sounds so much like a friend I lost also.

  10. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 26 April 2011 at 12:04 am #

    All I can say to this is …WOW !!!

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  11. avatar
    Tim | 26 April 2011 at 12:39 am #

    I’m always amazed and distraught when you talk about the condition you were in during those days. Snow Job remains one of my favorite SK projects. It rocks. It’s moody. It’s mellow. It’s transcendent. It’s darn near perfect.

    For my own selfish reasons, I’m glad you’re off the junk. I don’t want to live in a world without U23 and it’s album’s worth of b-sides. I’m also glad on behalf of your friends, family, partners and I suppose yourself if you’ll allow me.

  12. avatar
    andy | 26 April 2011 at 1:31 am #

    yeah….
    organic, rough, rambling, wayward, brutal, lilting brilliance…..
    get it now people!
    loved this entry steve, jim ‘n i were like that(the comradship..only jim
    took the dope)back in the ‘dudes’ early years.
    great stuff steve…i love yer musings on yer drug-addled days.
    but i love ya even more for knocking that nasssty habit on the head…
    be well you fuckin’ big blogstar!
    bests,
    andy.

  13. avatar
    Freddie | 26 April 2011 at 3:13 am #

    Wow, you have been through a lot! Do you ever wonder sometimes why you’re still here? Most of em aren’t.

    It’s funny you mentioned the pic on the CD. I never did like it either. The title of the CD and the offensive drawing sends the message that the artists feel that Hinduism or Buddhism is a snow job and I always wondered which one or if both of you felt that way. :^)

  14. avatar
    c p | 26 April 2011 at 5:08 am #

    hi Mr K,

    read an entry way ago on what Margot wrote on the era you described in this and earlier posts and in my head it linked up with what you sang on “someone calls you on” (a recent Aha Erlebnis)
    some bla bla: one of the greatest “new wave” songs ever written, btw – in my book (played it to some of my friends who didn’t know the f*** about you – they said wow, what’s this?!)
    anyway, all the previous and meeting you on several occasions – as a young fan – in the past has shed some more light on the tangerine dream (also featured in miami vice, there you go!), but i don’t really mind, coz’ i kinda knew where the head was at…
    i wish more people would follow up on what you have to say on drug awareness in the numerous articles and interviews that have been published out there… the spiel-of-consciousness game, you know…

    luv’ + jazz,
    cracka

  15. avatar
    Peter | 26 April 2011 at 6:53 am #

    In my humble opinion Angela Carter simply is one of the best songs ever written!!! Snow Job is truly a great album. So sad Grant isn´t here anymore….

  16. avatar
    Ellen | 26 April 2011 at 7:24 am #

    Squeaky clean – never did drugs. I suppose that’s a bit unusual, given that most teens/young adults try SOMETHING at least a few times.

    Oops, gotta go, the attorney is calling…

  17. avatar
    Rusty | 26 April 2011 at 8:08 am #

    Steve
    I have fond memories of that album actually.
    Grantley seemed to love singing harmonies with me.
    The songwriting was amazing. Stuff just fell out of you both.
    Remember you both ate a whole monster jar of Nutella while we were out for hour getting coffee.
    That was disgusting and hilarious!
    Not sure whether I ever got paid for any of the weeks I spent engineering it.
    : )
    Angela Carter is a masterpiece for sure.

    On another note our film “Rainman goes to RocKwiz is on in New York this Friday at 4.30 at the
    Sprout Film festival.
    This takes place at
    The Metropolitan Museum of Art
    Ruth and Harold D. Uris Center For Education
    81st St. & 5th Avenue.
    You can get tickets online.
    I mention it here as it features music by Gilt Trip and is a wonderful musical/ mystical trip.
    Might be your only chance to see it in New York.
    It will be on in California in May.
    Hope some people can make it.

    Russell Kilbey

    Sprout Film Festival

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 26 April 2011 at 12:09 pm #

      russell
      im sorry you never got paid
      …i can sling you a cut price cd if you like
      and i’ll autograph it
      good luck with that fillum
      i hope you win it my brother
      for you and the rainmans sake
      steven your brother whom you slept with

      • avatar
        rusty | 26 April 2011 at 5:50 pm #

        Thanks for the kind offer and the well wishes Brother!

    • avatar
      Lara | 27 April 2011 at 1:07 am #

      Thanks for the link to the Film festival. Cool stuff.

  18. avatar
    Once | 26 April 2011 at 9:09 am #

    Ah, god, SK. You’re honesty and perspective is so brilliant. I’m freakin’ feelin’ every sentence of this one. Sounds like me n’ Kara, 8 years ago or so…me on coke, her on meth (occasionally doing a cross-reference), what a pair we were! Yeah, right down to the code, I laughed so hard when I read that even though it isn’t funny but it is. ‘Course, we never made music. Downloaded a lot from Limewire. Made a bunch of compilations, still have some but I can’t play ’em. They’re like live toxic reptiles, don’t even like to touch ’em. We’d get loaded and hit the bars, I drank and she didn’t (much) and she had a jeep that we’d cruise around in, like we owned the world or something. Couple a crazy bints and weren’t we just the most A-MAZE-ING chicks in town. Even before Paris Hilton! Goddamn! Donnandkara, we were KNOWN. We looked damn good, too, before Kara got the scabs and my weight dropped nearly to double-digits. We made a spinner like the kind you get in board games with all the bars written on it, and we’d give it a flick to see which establishment was gonna be honored with our presence. “Nah, so-and-so might be there, spin again!” “Yeah, that’s a good one – I know a certain asshole who haunts that joint on Fridays, let’s go give him what-for!” Around and around. For nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Pathetic aint even the word for it.

    Then one day she stole half of my clothes and most of my jewelry and disappeared. Our dealer kept callin’ me, I had to change my number. Ah, Kara. Where are ya, girl? Miss ya. Despite all of it. You’re not even on Facebook, why is that? Bet I know.

    I’ve just made myself nauseous.

    Oh, I have the first Jack Frost CD and I love it, never got Snow Job, I’ll check out the paypal thing. Gotta get some air first…agree with cp, though, awareness is a good thing. Thanks for makin’ it through. You continue to inspire me.

    Donna

  19. avatar
    Across the Water | 26 April 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Thanks for regaling us with this ‘making of’ tale, I love reading about the process that goes into the creation of your art. Hard to believe it’s been 15 years since Snow Job…where does the time go?

    Hans

  20. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 26 April 2011 at 10:23 am #

    I’m glad to say that I have both Jack Frost CD’s. This must have been around the time that SK somehow managed to produce Mae Moore’s “Bohemia” CD which is her best.

    I’m a biased Isidore fan. That is Sk’s one CD that is on a par with an optimal Church CD (in my opinion= which may have very little Eathly value).

  21. avatar
    Steven Krut | 26 April 2011 at 10:32 am #

    That sounds like a really interesting CD. Or maybe one that’s completely shit. Ha-ha! I’ll find out because I placed an order. I had a great Easter weekend. Hope everyone else did, too!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 April 2011 at 10:39 am #

    Fuck that was great. And one of my very favorite albums.

  23. avatar
    Karen | 26 April 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Why not make some money off it I would if I was in your shoes.. might even get a signed one myself if I knew what paypal was..
    anyway I know about the gear my (2nd)ex not my childrens biological father) was on it ….not when I met him but about 6 years into our relationship, its fking shit..he sold his dead grandfathers watch he inherited..he sold everything he loved..his mothers friend said ..so is his gf on it too she said NO ..funny that .. I never tried it I knew what it would do to me .. I know what it did to me just watching him.. and I left him because of it.. although you still were able to function not everyone can..great you kicked that shit

  24. avatar
    Ithaki | 26 April 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    You sir are a god damn marvel
    A genius
    I love this blog
    Your mind is a mirror to everything it has ever seen!
    A genius I yell ya!
    A dash of weird and wild
    Alien wonderment
    You’re the possessor of ineffable beauty
    Yet above and beyond all things
    You deftly throw the incoherent ravings
    Of what you must have gone through
    Into a sort of sanity and verse?
    I love this one amidst the sorrow

    p.s I love the word rigmarole

  25. avatar
    seagull | 26 April 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    neat little album, I’ll take a listen again soon, like the overdubs, sounds full, like the guitar sounds, vocals are pretty good too, might be a song I can play at the local pub, buy a patron a drink if they can guess the artist, I showed the cd to a couple girls a few years back, they picked up that the title rhymes with another word, ha.

  26. avatar
    caitbrid | 26 April 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    My best friend Danielle and I hung out with the GoBetweens once after a show in Philadelphia. They were the nicest people and we had a great time. We were so sad when Grant died. I have a friend on the stuff right now and I can’t do anything but pray for him. It’s breaking my heart. I’m so glad you made it SK and so sorry Grant didn’t. We miss him.

    XO Kathleen in Philly

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 26 April 2011 at 8:05 pm #

      grant got off the stuff way before me kathleen
      he died of a heart attack

      • avatar
        caitbrid | 27 April 2011 at 7:54 am #

        I know he died of a heart attack but the lifestyle can’t be good for the heart especially if you already have a problem there. Still sorry he’s gone and thankful that you’re not. Thanks for talking about it too. And the music-making–I love reading recording stories.

        • avatar
          thetimebeing | 27 April 2011 at 10:03 am #

          heroin isnt bad for your heart
          actually pure heroin isnt bad for any organ really
          i think the alcohol n cigs got grant

          • avatar
            caitbrid | 27 April 2011 at 11:14 am #

            Alcohol and cigarettes will do it too. I know–my mom has lung cancer from cigs. I’ve seen my heroin-addicted friend dope-sick and it sure doesn’t look good. I won’t tell him what you just said about the stuff, though. Don’t want to discourage his attempt to get clean.

          • avatar
            Anonymous | 27 April 2011 at 1:15 pm #

            Kilby, get your fact Straight

            Long-term effects of heroin use
            -Addiction
            -Infectious diseases, for example, HIV/AIDS and hepatitis B and C
            -Collapsed veins
            -Bacterial infections
            -Abscesses
            -Infection of heart lining and valves
            -Arthritis and other rheumatologic problems

          • avatar
            thetimebeing | 27 April 2011 at 7:29 pm #

            thats not the heroin tho
            thats dirty needles etc
            heroin itself is relatively benign to the body

          • avatar
            caitbrid | 29 April 2011 at 4:12 am #

            After all this I forgot about the CD! Are there any left? I thought I might have it but I do not.

          • avatar
            thetimebeing | 29 April 2011 at 8:14 am #

            some still left

  27. avatar
    Linjo | 26 April 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    I love your junkie tales Steve, complete with Dickensian characters. I can almost smell the musty velvet jackets. Riches to rags and back to riches (hopefully) are always the best stories to portray human weaknesses and strengths. Thank you too Donna for yours! I hate my addictions but am ‘on the wagon’ again, wobbly old thing it is! Four weeks without booze and fags! (well nearly !)feels amazing! x

    • avatar
      Once | 26 April 2011 at 10:57 pm #

      YAY! 6 days here (booze) – early days but this time my wagon is a freakin’ Jaguar…

      So glad to hear, keep it goin’!! 🙂

  28. avatar
    holly | 26 April 2011 at 5:15 pm #

    To PayPal Steve, just click on the Subscribers button on the top of the page. That will take you to a page with subscriber/donation information and a PayPal Donate button.

    You can also go directly to the Subscriber page by clicking link here.

  29. avatar
    Steven Krut | 26 April 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    All the comments about the album have me psyched to listen to it. And that description of the album’s creative “process” made me think of Byron and Shelley in Switzerland.

  30. avatar
    Lara | 27 April 2011 at 1:04 am #

    I’d love a snow job. 😉 Just sent my payment.

    Should have know you’d like A.C. One of the best short story writers ever.

  31. avatar
    Tanya | 27 April 2011 at 2:36 am #

    All those pain/pleasure dichotomies in your life have resulted in gratification to your fans through your brilliant lyrics & music – yeah, that edge. Of course, I’m sure you weren’t thinking about that in the midst of a withdrawl. Thanks for sharing your nostalgic moments; So interesting especially for any of us with non-existent or limited drug experience. And there you go with the humor again with the Hitler reference! I just keep reading…

  32. avatar
    davem | 27 April 2011 at 3:00 am #

    Great read.
    Whilst I already own a couple of versions, if any are left after those on TTB that haven’t already bought it have had this chance I will gladly fork out $25 (Think thats about £19) for a signed copy!! I will check in with you on this tomorrow.
    Do you know I always thought in the piccie that you had your eyes shut ‘cos you were so absobed playing the keyboard or something!!
    You look great without the beard. A very handsome chap indeed.
    And that explains Shakedown too……..

    • avatar
      Christina | 27 April 2011 at 10:42 am #

      You look great without the beard. A very handsome chap indeed.
      Most definitely!
      You should go beardless more often, Steve.

  33. avatar
    Andreas | 27 April 2011 at 5:19 am #

    Hi Steve, I have it but haven’t listened to it for a long time. I guess I got more familiar with the first JF album than snow job. I’ll go back to it- although I gotta get out of freaky conclusions which is heavily rotating at home these days!
    And… I’m so happy you managed to get away from that stuff… so glad you succeeded!

  34. avatar
    Lisa | 27 April 2011 at 5:41 am #

    I searched thru my inherited Church stash like I was digging for gold and lo and behold I found ‘snow job’ ‘jack frost’ and ‘Live @ T.T. the Bear’s, Cambrige, Mass. March 20, 1991’. I think I’ll have some listening to do!

  35. avatar
    queenhatshepsut | 27 April 2011 at 6:31 am #

    Steven,
    You weave an extraordinarily interesting but very cautionary tale about those years. I have always wondered what taking heroin would feel like but my father was an alcoholic and Rx drug addict so I have chosen not to go down that path.

    All I can say is I’m so, so, so fucking glad you’re still here. Life without the Killer would be so much more dreary and dull. Thanks for another great blog.
    Love,
    Denise xxoo

  36. avatar
    msmel | 27 April 2011 at 8:24 am #

    Steve, made my donation at 30 (added a 5’er for postage)but went into
    your Honesty Box and followed up with emails to you. Could not
    note as Snow Job CD..
    Trust you find all in order (to make a Happy Birthday to Zack)
    Love, msmel

    • avatar
      holly | 27 April 2011 at 9:55 am #

      For others trying to do this you can also just go directly to Paypal (link) , click on Send Money, and type in the email Steve uses for PayPal (stevekilbey@gmail.com) and then just follow the directions. It’s possible that a PayPal account is required to do it this way, but I’m not sure. Otherwise I’m sure that what msmel did will work too.

  37. avatar
    Lisa Lisa | 27 April 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    Great blog SK. I love this album!

    Going to have to check out the mamas and the papas. Only know monday monday and california dreaming…

    Lisa X

  38. avatar
    Craig Miller | 27 April 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    Always loved “Running from the Body.” That one’s seemed to find it’s way onto pretty much every mix tape/CD I ever made.

  39. avatar
    bc | 27 April 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    classic…

  40. avatar
    Galamor the Wizard | 27 April 2011 at 7:07 pm #

    Cousin/Angel is the best thing you two ever did together. Or apart (well nearly…). Love that song!
    What’s happened to the cd buying part of Karmic Hit?
    Sarh Blasko has just come up on computer as I write. Ever thought about collaborating with her???

  41. avatar
    brevinda | 27 April 2011 at 8:47 pm #

    Steve, I adored this album…there is no way two drug unaffected musicians could knock out a tune such as aviator….I get a natural high just listening to it…my other fond memory of this album is on the song Jack frost blues, as your stracthy, drug fucked voice doing the narraritve bit in the middle…fucking awesome… I also your love drug stories of the past, steve….as for years you were a bit of a closed book to those who really admired you from afar and were keen to learn more about there idol/hero/inspiration…..BREVINDA

  42. avatar
    Stephen | 27 April 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    David Neil has been mentioned quite a few times in the blog over the last few years, attaining almost mythical status (with me anyway!). Now there’s actual music up folks so if you wanna listen go visit:

    http://www.myspace.com/davidneilsongs

  43. Jmb066
    Jmb066 | 27 April 2011 at 10:03 pm #

    Steve

    Love Snow Job, I really appreciate both Frosty albums but snow job edges it out the eponymous release due to the drumming. I bought Snow Job from Karmic Hit as a gift a few weeks ago, I think you should have been selling items on your sight a long time ago. Look forward to Premo Stevo and the opportunties you will have there. Have you considered weekly/monthly downloads? For a small download fee of course similar to KH club a few years ago. I am sure you have some gems around, I was talking to a friend about artist using their websites to generate income and please their fans at the same time and I think you would do extremely well. Lloyd Colde used his site to generate some of the recording expenses up front. He charged $50 up front before the album was made, everyone that did so got the album earlier than the sreet date and an extra disc of demo’s b-sides etc. Seems like it went well for him, I know you could do really well with a concept like this.

    Anyway enough rambling, love the Jack Frost albums and looking forward to Isi 2 and David Neil.

    Take Care,

    Jason

  44. avatar
    Karen | 27 April 2011 at 10:23 pm #

    no it doesnt affect the body in its pure form well unless you overdose and you stop breathing ..that affects you because your dead if you dont breath.. funny that..
    The effect on the people that care about the person sticking the shit into themselves is devastating though
    sitting watching someone nod off great fun
    least he had someone to make sure he didnt over dose( me)
    anyway it makes me angry just typing about it
    interesting reading sk’s tales with or without the drug references..

    no need to add my personal insight into the stuff I suppose.. & god knows I do realise grog & smokes kill a truckload of people( speaking of I stopped smoking 8 weeks ago )

    Im awaiting my paypal thingo to work so I can get a cd hopefully..

    • avatar
      caitbrid | 29 April 2011 at 4:13 am #

      Thanks for sharing–sorry for your pain. My best to you, Karen.
      Kathleen in Philly

  45. avatar
    KevinN | 27 April 2011 at 10:42 pm #

    I am happy to own both JF albums. I loved the first one instantly, and it has one of my all time fave songs (Providence). I did not really “get” the 2nd JF album, but kept listening, and was richly rewarded. So entirely different then the first JF, so hard to really compare, but i treasure both. Haze…what a song! Aviatrix was my fave for a while.

  46. avatar
    mattyc | 28 April 2011 at 12:07 am #

    one of my favorite cd’s and i listen often, but the chance for an autographed copy is too good to pass up. interesting to get a peek behind the scenes to your ‘state of being’.
    would love to see the church do a deep cuts tour, gigging deep into the expanse of your records, of course, the verbal requests may be too much to bear. two of the great things about the 3 album tour, deep cuts never before perfomed live, and few (or no) shouted requests from the audience.
    the continuity of ambience and atmosphere was beautiful.

  47. avatar
    Christine | 28 April 2011 at 1:25 am #

    Steve why did I stop listening? I missed out on so much…so much to catch up on…I went in some strange direction, back a few eras to become someone else…and yet now it has come full circle though I feel I am so far out of the loop! There are times when I come here to read (like now) and am so fulfilled…thank you over and over for all your words and song! And memories… :^)

  48. avatar
    Gavin L | 28 April 2011 at 1:48 am #

    Christ! This David Neil material is stunning! The three clips on myspace have more hooks than a tackle box. Steve, how about a more precise release date? You’re killing me here!!

  49. avatar
    Terry | 28 April 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    I was a teen in the 70’s and tried just about every drug available — except heroin. I saw at an early age (13) the damage it causes when one of my friends began dating an older guy who was an addict.

    As far as heroin causing harm, it probably causes more physical harm to those who love the addict than it does to the addict. My x-husband fell into using heroin when I was pregnant with our first son. It’s a miracle I didn’t miscarry or give birth to a stillborn baby with all the problems, worry, distress, etc. that man brought into my life during that time – and thereafter. Being married to that man almost killed me. And my life is still a wreck.

  50. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 28 April 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    I saw a ghost today, but maybe I am not sure. I had a ‘ new’ first appointment with yet again, another specialist. The building is located just outside of Chicago in a college suburb/ community named Evanston.
    The buildings address is 708 Church. It is an old building with a dank hallway and wide stairwell that led to the 2nd floor. The hallways seemed endless and went in many directions. I was early, so I mp3 my usual, some P=A and Uninvited…
    After my appointment I left the doctors office and went in the wrong direction and found myself disoriented until I found the correct stairway down. A voice from behind me said “nobody stays lost forever” as I turned to see who was polite enough to address me ,the figure was many paces away already and I raised my voice just loud enough so he/she could hear me and than there was nothing – no one in sight. I can’t remember what I said.
    That was very odd. I continued the flight down the stairs and approached the glass doors that led out to the street and a whosh of coldness blew past me and I hadn’t opened the door yet. When I managed to open the door, it was cold and raining.
    I have encountered many strange events in my life, and have seen strange things. But this is pretty close to the top.
    I am researching the building’s history now, and most of its occupants have been in the medical profession for quite some time. I am planning on investigating more and I have a follow up appointment for May 4th at noon. Hopefully I will, I really don’t know what to say really ,or do.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    • Kraig
      Kraig | 28 April 2011 at 7:59 pm #

      I just love that story. I stayed at a hotel in Chicago, and my fiance at the time (now my wif) said that while i was sleeping a little girl giggled and laughed all night at my snoring….LOL, no joke. PLus she say a dark figure in the curtains. Hmmm, i do slight remember that night, before going to sleep trying to get the shower hot, but the water was hot but the room was always really cold! I sat and watched tv, feeling a presence. What part of Chicago? I think this was the Whitehall Hotel or something like that? Delmare Street i belive but could be wrong. Supposidly a few fires went on there and people perished way back in the day. Makes you wonder.

    • Kraig
      Kraig | 28 April 2011 at 8:03 pm #

      …actually, it sounds like a sign more i read your story. You got lost, then the entity said “nobody stays lost forever”…I don’t know what’s going on in your life, but maybe trying to relay a message to what you did at the moment and your life’s situation?

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 29 April 2011 at 2:04 pm #

        To Kraig and .

        Chicago and its surrounding communities are well statured in the supernatural world. ‘Resurrection Mary’ is one of Chicago, and even the countries famous ghost sitings. My experience was so surreal. I have taken ghost tours and visited many odd places and have felt a strange presence many times. I have a picture from 1999 , on Christmas Day that has my son showing off his new jacket. In this picture their are 1 distintive ORB and a minor one in the background. My father, when he was alive, loved Christmas like a kid. He passed in 1986. But before this picture was taken, my wife heard a voice in our kitchen and the ‘booze’ cabinet door was half open. That cabinet door is way off the ground and you have to be at least six feet and some to reach the handle. Laura said it was a man’s voice, sounded like me, and said something about ‘crown royal whiskey’. Well, I do not drink, and there was just some old wine bottles up there. Remember, no digital camera stuff back than, so after the roll of film was developed, their is the ORB. I went back with the negative and had them change the development, enlarge it, BW it and close-up as best as possible. And it never changed.

        And yes to the comment regarding events in my life being off kilter. My degenerative back/neck diseases have worsen and I have an onset of arthritis in my left hand/knuckles and fingers. Plus my depression has taken couple hard knocks, so I do believe your onto something with that possibility. Weird stuff doesn’t freak me out, just makes me more interested and investigative.

        AND my dad love Crown Royal, neat on the rocks…

        AsAlways,
        Darrin K.

        • Kraig
          Kraig | 30 April 2011 at 8:37 pm #

          Darrin,

          I know EXACTLY what you mean! I’ve had orbs in dozens if not probably hundreds of videos/pictures now…let me explain. It all started when my fiance (now wifey and I) were in New Orleans, LA started going on a ghost tour of the city. We saw, or photogarhed, some crazy shit! In orther words…we weren’t aware of any orbs in picutres until then (a few years ago). After the tour we started filming and taking pictures and low and behold!? Now since then, we’ve seen sevral orbs in almost every other picture we’ve taken (but not all).

          We don’t know whether it’s because we’re more aware now, never been aware, or becaue we just have that energy of attracting orbs? But then again…my Dad died almost 2 years ago (we were really close like friends or more!) and since then we’ve seen a orb in major photos from when a tree fell down in front of our house at night taking photos for insurance, to going to a baseball game during the day with family…it’s crazy! These are all digital photos remind you, when zooming in, most have faces, beards, smile, sad, or whatever! I mean…we have never experienced such phenomena since New Orleans in 2008-09 nor either we were never aware of it, either or…what do you think? I think…we were never aware of it myself and energy just surrounds us & everyone…either waiting for the afterlife or already in the afterlife but different dimensions (there’s really more to this story then here!). We took pictues of Nicolas Cages house in New Orleans and in one picture, orbs, then next pictue was on fire! We also saw some crazy shit with our OWN EYES! Some energy floation in the sky and going into the top of a cross on top of this Church! Ewwwe, thinks bout it.

          Prost!
          Kraig

          • Kraig
            Kraig | 30 April 2011 at 8:47 pm #

            P.S. I definately think that was your Dad! Plus, i know you and everyon else, including SK will not beeelieve this, but i bought one of STeve’s paintings…the Lonely City one, and ever since my Dad passed away, or maybe it’s the train that passes by our house…but the painting (on some days) sits crooked, and one day i had to straighten in out, then a week later, i actually had to physically put the fame in place and level it again! I mean, WTF? No other painting did that!? LOL, some freaky stuff man! Supernatural or not, i know you readers out ther won’t believe me and think i’m trying to ryle up attention, but i’m not…seriously it happened or keeps happening. You figure it out. Man, I believ your semi-psychic and don’t know it.

          • avatar
            BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 1 May 2011 at 9:47 am #

            I believe that certain people are attracted, influenced, or meant to be experiencing supernatural events thru out the history of life itself. I know many skeptics who will say that ‘its all explainable and a bunch of crap’ and my answer to them is simple. Our bodies, our chemical synapses, biological markings contribute to the fact that we ARE surging with energy. When our physical vessel ends, the energy gathers itself into one contained possible object, an orb, an illumination of some form. I believe we influence our alternate dimensions and realities by the simplest explanation: BELIEF.

            This has been a great discussion and I do not want to stray off course of SK’s blog, and I betcha SK has had some strange occurrences and sightings in his extraordinary life. Especially all the time on the road, staying in so many hotels and inns. I really enjoyed this conversation with you Kraig. Illinois has a town close to the Iowa border named Galena. It is infamous for MANY apparitions and supernatural sightings. My wife and I visited the town couple of times and learned of many stories, but unfortunately…we observed nothing.

            I loved your stories. They were/are fascinating. Again, still have no clue how we did not cross paths at the Park West…

            AsAlways,
            Darrin K.

    • avatar
      . | 29 April 2011 at 1:52 am #

      what a cool experience!

    • avatar
      Lisa | 29 April 2011 at 2:58 pm #

      Wow Darrin, what a story! Wonder what you will encounter next week when you return? Love stuff like this (when it happens to other people)!

  51. avatar
    mr.ricky | 28 April 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    unquestionably one of the greatest things albums you have ever made! It’s a crime it never came out on vinyl and that you guys didn’t do a proper world tour for it.

  52. avatar
    Ryan | 28 April 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    Brilliant blog Killa. I love reading the stories behind some of these works – much to my surprise it doesn’t demystify the music, and i still gravitate to my own reading and feeling for each song and album. The author’s is just one take among many – after all, once it’s out there it belongs to itself.

    Both Jack Frost albums are fucking great. Unique, drawing out an entirely different face from my usual fave’s like Remindlessness.

    Re: peddling on the blog, you’re connecting folks who want these treasures with said treasures. Magic of the internet my good man.

  53. Kraig
    Kraig | 28 April 2011 at 6:06 pm #

    Dude Steve,

    AWESOME ALBUM!!!!! I ordered 3 of them…and have one from when it first came out. I wore it out so much, just had to get me 3 more of em so they last! haha. I sent you a Paypal order that should covery your costs plus i was generous to cover the shipping to the States. Man, Many Thanks for the music, autographs, blog, everything, and just being here for us fans!

    Big
    Cheers!

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 28 April 2011 at 6:30 pm #

      thank you
      i like your thinking!

      • Kraig
        Kraig | 28 April 2011 at 7:52 pm #

        Heck yea Dude Steve…your the BEST! Wouldn’t do it for no other than you Lord Steve! Yes indeede, I figure if the first CD lasted me 20 years the others should get me by until i die, that’s unless I live to 120, but maybe by then I’ll have it solely memorized and might just light up a fatty and enjoy it by heart. lol, can’t wait for the good tunes, specially from yours truly autographed personal style. Too Cool! Thxs

  54. Kraig
    Kraig | 28 April 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    Oh and the song “Empire”…one of my favs! Where did that ispiration of a song come from, just brilliant! Love IT!

  55. avatar
    Karen | 28 April 2011 at 6:54 pm #

    Ive set up paypal but it may take 3 days for the funds to be available.. ( thats shit then)
    please dont buy alllll the cd’s ppls:( leave a few..

  56. avatar
    Richard | 28 April 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    just listened to the David Neil samples
    shit!
    wow!
    ‘n stuff

  57. avatar
    Wilfred Paradise | 28 April 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    Steve:

    Have you caught a Bob show in the last week? He’s running up tremendous karmic surplus, still singing ‘forever young’ at age 70. Time travelers from the future (and past) are at these shows. No need to burn out, or ever fade away. Especially w/ talent. And you have it too.

    Enjoy. Wilfred Paradise

  58. avatar
    jaime r.. | 29 April 2011 at 4:33 am #

    I bought Snow job in 97 or so.. moved to Miami for a stint.. was high on Kerouacs Dharma bums.. I was anti-plastic, full of doubt, lust, transitional and non-illusional.. Snow job had that edge.. I loved the cover, the killer harmonies.. I still do..!! Running from the body.. Cousin Angel.. Empire.. Got it bad for you.. Haze.. Stellar music.. Crazy back story. this along with Hologram of Baal really etched my ongoing interest… RIP Grant.. thanks for all the music…

  59. avatar
    princey | 29 April 2011 at 10:43 am #

    Hello dearest sk, hope you’re well and coming back soon….we’re missing ya 🙂

  60. avatar
    Crasher | 29 April 2011 at 10:49 am #

    Been down the smack track twice.Firstly in the late 70’s..escaped from Melbourne to Perth (hitchhiked) with my cold turkey accompanying me.
    Second time much older and much harder to kick.In the end my Doctor (fantastic fucking brilliant guy..) recommended methadone.I was totally against this.The few people I knew on the ‘done seemed to had been on it for years (decades in one case !).
    But in the end it was my only recourse.The good Doc guided and I followed.
    Took the full 45mg dose for a year and 6 months of gradual weening. 18 months in total.
    That was 11 clean years ago now.
    Still got the same Doc.
    Been out of The Time Being loop for a while.
    My dad died a few weeks back. 83…a good innings blighted by poor health for the last 30 years !
    Died of kidney failure..3 dozen pills a day (to keep the heart ticking) will do that…eventually.
    Had to go back to Dunedin, my original hometown.Melbourne is definitely hometown these days.
    Got Under The Milky Way played at the Funeral service.
    It was loved by all..even the snobby old Aunts (Dad’s sisters).
    My Mum picked Peaceful Easy feeling..she’d heard it another Funeral.
    When you get into your eighties there’s no shortage of them.
    An aside..got both Jack Frost albums.Love the first one.
    Still undecided about the second.
    But don’t despair.
    It’s taken me 8 years to realise Forget Yourself is a masterpiece.

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 29 April 2011 at 12:40 pm #

      its an honour you played my song at your dads funeral , crasher
      glad you got off the bad stuff too!

  61. avatar
    Crasher | 29 April 2011 at 12:52 pm #

    Glad you did too Steve.
    Trawling through your blogs.
    Had never heard of Margot Smith.
    Thanks to youtube I’ve been watching and listening to her.Torch Song,Adored,Everything (live with PK and Tim in tow).
    As ol’ Shakey would say..innaresting.

  62. avatar
    bionicanna | 29 April 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    a cautionary tale that also makes me curious what it’s like, though i’ll continue to resist.

    “i lived on custard and sweet soft milky types of things”
    …..hmm maybe i’m on the right track drinking a pint of heavy whipping cream every day. my voice has certainly gotten smoother.

    if any cd’s are left next month, i hope to buy one, though i’d prefer to get it when kilbey/kennedy tour.

  63. avatar
    davem | 29 April 2011 at 7:43 pm #

    The whole nation has gone Royal Wedding crazy here, seemingly oblivious to the fact that it’s my birthday. I can’t believe it. Bastards.

    • avatar
      eekie | 29 April 2011 at 8:59 pm #

      Happy Birthday, Dave!

      Are all those trumpets playing and bells ringing for your birthday? Cool! 😉

    • avatar
      Richard | 29 April 2011 at 10:29 pm #

      no no
      they remembered
      didn’t you see all those candles on the wedding cake?

    • avatar
      lisa k | 29 April 2011 at 11:10 pm #

      Well we, here, are not oblivious– Happy Birhtday davem!! Enjoy YOUR special day.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 29 April 2011 at 11:17 pm #

      Those bastards !!!!!

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVEM !!!!!

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Lara | 29 April 2011 at 11:27 pm #

      Aw, davem. Rest assured that, whatever you do for your birthday, it will be more interesting than the royal wedding. Have a good one.

    • avatar
      hellbound heart | 30 April 2011 at 8:36 am #

      happy birthday, matey!!! hope you had a good one…….i reckon a birthday party at your place would be more fun than the royal wedding any time….
      maybe the royals should have considered a more modest do and donate the remaining money to worthy cause/s……
      peace and love

  64. avatar
    Once | 30 April 2011 at 3:07 am #

    Days later…finally figured out the Paypal thing. This entailed getting a new password (forgot mine), estimating the weight of a CD plus packaging, converting ounces to grams (surprised I didn’t remember that one!) googling an Australian Post Office for shipping rates (no idea), and checking the current bank selling rate of USD to AUD (since when did the Australian dollar beat out ours?? We ARE in bad shape! LOL). Hmmm…can we say “OCD”???

    Anyway – if you have any left, please do send. Airmail will cost ya around $10-15 AUD, I sent enough to cover just in case. (Don’t put it on a boat! Subject to piracy!!!)

    If I’m too late, just keep it, have dinner or something. 🙂

    Thanks –
    Donna

  65. avatar
    Big Al | 30 April 2011 at 10:17 am #

    I first saw Jack Frost at Macquarie University. about the time of release of first jack frost CD. James griffin and the subterraineans played a gig there around that that time with Killer on bass. never one for a jab or snort, de erb was the choice of listening vice. Magic times.
    Now for lunch, roo burgers with Mimesis in the back yard

  66. avatar
    andy | 30 April 2011 at 7:23 pm #

    been offline for days due to a fibre-optic fault!
    had to get a coffee from mcdonalds so i can use their wi-fi to send this….
    happy blated birthday dave, it was april’s 24th yesterday too!
    darrin…..most intrigued by the ‘ghost’ story.
    bec….sorry i wasn’t able to reply….love ya, in fact
    i love everybody on here……back next week sometime i hope!
    bests,
    andy.

  67. avatar
    Ess | 30 April 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    not sure how i find myself here, uncertain if i belong
    but after a couple of months have yet to turn away
    i owned the first church album and surely went to early gigs
    if only I remembered
    then it must have been just february when i heard a Kilbey song
    and from a search came a Church photo
    with forgotten rushes of teenage yearning for a cute mwp,
    but relief came as quickly as google can provide
    in the aging of his thirty years since
    perhaps hiding a prettiness
    no longer distracting the senses of a now older girl
    i checked out Marty’s music and it seeped into my soul
    and then I saw the arias, now revered online
    and amidst the excrement of dead public chatter
    came Kilby,
    flawed and flawless
    a familiar revelation
    making me laugh a real lot too
    why hadn’t i known he was still alive
    Thirty years ago my friend thought kilbey was cute
    but wasn’t he now more valuable than our youthful projections could imagine
    i googled his music and hey i wanted more
    much more
    and so it was decreed
    on the way to the dentist I passed kilbey road
    he was one plus one
    he was the demo on dig
    he was five songs, over and over
    he was diamond dogs
    the first album i owned, too young to appreciate
    he was steve cummings birthday
    he was everywhere i turned, even today
    the abc of my causes had plastered its kilbey signs
    and I knew I should be here, at least for just a moment
    somewhere unique, i think
    compelling, yes, for now
    procrastinating from all else as I write
    for too long my creativity has fed the suffering of others
    but now i want to be selfish
    and brave to indulge while others burn
    it can’t be a crime to save myself, can it
    i hope that is true
    i am done with do gooding
    with bleeding creative juice for the betterment of others
    something here is persuasive
    of truth to be sought
    and never found
    it is a long way back or forward or wherever i am running
    and I might just hang around here for a while until i know where to rest

    thank you steve kilbey
    for the palette of your self or your performance
    and for reminding me
    without intent
    that even though i roam in Melbourne
    for just a little longer
    sydney is still a home
    and that the cute faces of teenage projection
    can produce so much more than a frozen memory allows
    and for anything else i may divine from the online world
    that you and your devoted friends inhabit
    i have only this hastily typed, unwieldy and unpoetic in its lack of editing, note to offer in return

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 30 April 2011 at 9:32 pm #

      thanks for this lovely letter
      you are welcome here

      • avatar
        Ess | 3 May 2011 at 3:45 pm #

        thanks Steve, you are a gracious host.

    • avatar
      Once | 1 May 2011 at 12:37 am #

      I LOVE this. Brilliant.

      “it can’t be a crime to save myself, can it”

      Nope. Actually, I think that’s the whole point. Or at least, the real starting point.

      • avatar
        Ess | 3 May 2011 at 4:27 pm #

        thanks muchly.
        I had decided for the past decade that as bad as my life could get it could never be as tortured as others (who were literally being tortured). So, perhaps reacting to personal pain/loss (was so sick of my introspection) and the empty materialist a lover had turned out to be, I gave up my self, well I thought i had anyway. It was so strangely nunlike, so not me, and a christian once asked me if I had done something so awful in my earlier life that I needed to do ‘good’ now to atone. But lately i had started to yearn so painfully for my own yearnings, for my my own writing that didn’t need to serve a cause or be donated for free, like everything else I felt I had to offer up for the greater good. It is really hard now not to answer the phone, or to say no I can’t help, or to explain again that I need my life back, or fight with government for someone, or whatever is the need of a thousand hungry hands – and some really are needing. But at least I did what I did in my own unique way, and was hated by some which is always a good sign, and I am back now trying to be self-ish and self-centred, and trying to explain to myself where I have been for 10 years (its not going well so far). Glad there’s no politics here – I’ve had enough of that bullshit to burn me for lots more lifetimes.

  68. avatar
    brazen | 30 April 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    I tried it once …and that was enough to convince me to never try it agsin..not cos of a bad experience but cos it was so good I realised at the time it could never be that way again.

    Ironically it was to the eagerly awaited floyd album first playing of the final cut….wish I could say it was to a Church album….but I did try Coke for the first time to a first play of Remote Luxury…it felt so good doing lines on the cover! (maybe these Boys was very appropriate accompanying vibe at the time).

    Love Jack Frost and the Gobeys. Just loaded your solo collection up on the IPOD today…taking my 15yo to Maitland next week to her first festival…gonna try some subtle brainwashing….just mix the old and new stuff in there…put on shuffle and see what happens…she is a very talented pianist and not bad on guitar and seems to appreciate good music without falling for most of the obvious over hyped crap out there most of her peers listen to. Hopefully it will be a positive experience as she and I can bond with music as a common interest.

    BTW…on your next Church Sydney gig can I request a repeat of the box of birds cover of George’s Its all too much…definitely one I would love to hear live.


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