posted on December 14, 2006 at 7:48 pm

please please forgive me
there was nae internet in hotel
couldnot blogge yessasday
when i get home too much other things
melbjorne was a good gig
we played for hours n hours n hours
i drunk too many red bulls n jaegers….time warped
i was coming n going at the same time
it seemed i was on that stage my whole life
eternally strapped to guitar
singin’ some song i no longer understand
the black room
the noise of the instruments lingering on
the faces in the audience slipping and changing
eternal song n dance men
knocking out our jive since year dot
we’re early
we do our soundcheque
we’re nice n polite to everyone too
we eat ourr din -dins
they had chargrilled tofu on a med stack
(mediterranean now synonomous with eggyplant n capsicum!)
plus a loada martys frenchfries (or chips as we used to say)
then back to hotel
wow poor olde melbjorne…..
i love this city my little pigs
and ive never seen anything like it…
except here before in the eighties
the entire city is in smoke…
the smoke from the hinterland fires
has drifted into melby
and permeates its streets like a fog
the whole city is full of smoke..
visibility about quarter of a mile
then everything fades to white
everybody still going about their bizzy-ness tho
lygon street in carlton where we stayed
is jumping n bumping
a thousand street cafes with an italian bent
people:wine, women n song…
pasta waiters long blacks n garlick bread
the next morning i buy yet another ganesha for nk
and a wheat grass juice at boost juice
the flight back to syddey is bumpy
i download songs from mwps hard-drive
trespass n selling england by genesis
the kooks cos theyre minnas favourite band
when i arrive home
the whole fambley waiting for me out the front
the twillies help with guitars
the doodles run around
scarlet going oooh oooh ….wow!
then i take some of em for a swim
yeah thats better
the sea washes away all the travelling…
then a gay olde man checks out my wedding tackle in the change room
came close to getting to check out my fist as well
just standing there gawking at me
as i take a shower
trying to keep up a conversation bout the weather
while hes looking at my credentials…
hey mister…be gay in yer own fucking cubicle…ok?
later i walk past him n his little boyfriend
and he says something bout me n they both titter
maybe next time i just should use the ladies…….
which reminds me
a few weeks back i get outta the pool
i walk in mens change rooms
im pulling off ye olde bathers
thinking vaguely to myself
wow that guy over there has strange looking back n bum
when blow me down
the bloke turns round n its a lady….
no lady dont scream….
yer in the wrong room…..ha ha ha
she scoops up a towel
n covers her confusion
n runs away
wonder if i could get away with it so easily…
i also got a lovely massage from a reiki guy
n boy did he have the power flowing thru his hands
chi n prana dripping from his yonder fingertips
the energy was flowing
in n out of my chakras we go
today i gota buy a divan for twillies
who are still jet lagged
then this afternoon more rehearsals for the play
i met an actor at a party who says hes in a musical
based on babes in wood
its on at the oprah house
and it includes under the milky weigh
hes got me some free tickets
he says the audience go crazy when that song comes on
last night baby bumper kicked me to sleep
i been sung to sleep
n rocked to sleep
but this is first time i been booted to sleep
hard little heels in my back
bang bang bang
oh thats nice…
but im too tired to care
i fall asleep anyway
wake up today
she pretends like nothing happened
shes got the twillies cooing n laughing at all her tricks now
oh daddy shes so cute!
yeah thats all she needs is more flattery
cos miss scarlet is rapidly becoming a law unto herself
baby bully-head
thats how i see it
at any rate
thanks to my subscribers
thanks to people who sent me stuff
i have received everything n im very great-full
finding it hard to keep up
neglecting everything n everyone
still aint done my xmas shopping (bah humbug!)
but we have a xmas tree with 8 different lighting permutations
1 blinding
2 headache inducing
3migraine inducing
4nauseating;ly fast
5 more nauseatingly fast
6 even more naus…oh excuse me…
7 hold on to yer baubles folks
8 off
what this has to do with jeesus christos
i am yet to ascertain
wasnt it hard getting candy cane in judea circa 1 bc
could the reindeers have actually been flying camels?
did herod try to kiss salome under the mistletoe?
im confused…what the fuck is christmas anyway…
it seems like a hodge podge of ideas
all superimposed on top of each other willy nilly
the only chrissy card ive received all year
is from the doodles jewish dentist
seasons greetings it said
nicely ambiguous but not offensive
it coulda said
merry xmas
but the real messiah is yet to appear
and thanks for the check-ups n polishing!
theyre are lots n lots of jewish people here in bondi
n eastern suburbs
so hanukah is pretty big here
as well
everyone likes a holiday thats for sure
and ironically
its self employed idiots like me who never get em
no 4 weeks on full pay for the olde kilbeing, steve timeby
just an endless stream of this n thats
until i go to the great northcote social club in the sky
where i will rock forever with hutch n karen carpenter
(i wonder if hes done for her what he did for kylie)
and speaking of her
didja see her french git olivier
after tellin’ the world how he was gonna stand by her
thru “thick n thin”
(aint that a echo n the rabbitboys line?)
well hes run off with a foxier younger chick…!?
whod have thought it kylie?
youd imagine them french playboys ‘d have more gumption
wouldnt ya?
anyway mr better watch out if ya ever come downunder
cos we aussies dont like it when our songbirds are jilted
and we’re not that big on the french either
after they cinque our boat the rainbow warrior…
and cos of their unpronouncable language
that makes us feel like philistines
and cos they aint produced any decent music except
serge gainsborough n air
n because
they still eat horse meat in paris!
(look children…heres the mane course)
thats enuff for one day
i still love you all
thanks to everyone concerned
love yer work

48 Responses to “the kilbeings genesis”

  1. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 14 December 2006 at 9:18 pm #

    i comment again.. selling england …great cover art…..
    great album..

  2. avatar
    calling down baal and zeusy | 14 December 2006 at 9:19 pm #

    me …im just a lawenmower can tell me by the way i walk….

  3. avatar
    John Garratt | 14 December 2006 at 9:30 pm #

    “thanks to everyone concerned
    love yer work

    I have a job, but I don’t really work.

    Or by work, do mean paying you to read the blog? Than no problem. Man.


  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 9:48 pm #

    Hi Steve,

    just got into work, trying to get through a heap of stuff so I can get away for annual leave for a cupla weeks.

    Read yon blogge, enjoyed it mobs (look children…heres the mane course!) tjhat cracked me up.

    Thanks Steve

    PS are yon crunchies playing lectric in WA end Jan?


  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 9:59 pm #

    one of your best mr k – pip

  6. avatar
    limebeaver | 14 December 2006 at 10:10 pm #

    fantastic bloggage sir steve…
    even better gig with mwp at nsc, one of the best gigs ive witnessed. And the tap dancing… wow!

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 10:11 pm #

    Transatlantic/pacific translation:

    ‘Wedding Tackle’ = Dick & Balls.

  8. avatar
    davem | 14 December 2006 at 10:17 pm #

    How can one man???…
    Genesis without Gabriel is no more palatable/possible than a Kilbey-less Chrunch.
    I’m still updating me scratched ol’vinyl to cd. Selling England and Foxtrot are recent purchases. Β£5 a piece at Fopp. I wish Church Merch was as cheap!!! The postage alone is loan inducing SK!
    My wife loves The Kooks, not for me to be honest. The singer sounds like he has your shower-viewed credentials wrapped around his throat, SK. Long may he choke. I know you’re no fan of Pete the doc – me neither – but i’d take the ‘shambles or Libertines over The Kooks anyday!!If only the girls knew who their Dad really was!!!!
    Love you more,

    dave m

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 10:38 pm #

    Mr K,

    Thanks to you and MWP for a great show at Northcote, thanks for the energy, passion and for the Secret Corners.

    Always a great lead into Christmas. Have a great time with your family.

    Smoke has left our city….
    Rain fell last night…



  10. avatar
    veleska1970 | 14 December 2006 at 10:52 pm #

    we forgive you~~we know you’re a bizzy fella. that’s very evident in today’s blogge, fer shure.

    about your tree with the “8 different permutations”~~my daughter wanted a disco-like effect, too, but i had to veto it. broke her heart……i don’t know, something happens when you get older, you can’t seem to stand dizzying light effects anymore. headaches galore!! but if your kids like it, i guess that’s okay. gives them all a reason to say “wow”. πŸ™‚

  11. avatar
    mattdavison | 14 December 2006 at 10:52 pm #

    Well sk, I wudda given the gaybo a biff! and I dreamed I was at NthCt hearing you guy’s; but the smoke wasn’t from Gippsland…)) it was from yr screaming bass.

    I hope to get an answer as to why the ceerch ‘canne’ come over the ditch to play wif the Pretenders??? Need a good explanation/? not too much too ask eh!!
    seasons greetings Sydnee smoke Rat.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 10:54 pm #

    hey sk

    check out philippe katerine…or matthieu boogaerts. there is still life in the land of cheese.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 11:04 pm #

    just quickly

    I received Jack Frost 1 in the box yesterday and by the way good work karmic Hit, great packaging and smotth delivery. anywho, providence…when Grant sings, its a bonafide Go-Betweens classic straight away, and when u come in, its a bonafide Church classic straight away…amazing how your voices define those respective bands…when either of you sing, the backdrop changes under the influence of the vocals and phrasing delivery styles, its freaky…anyway, very enjoyable listen. some great stuff in there.

  14. avatar
    the dean | 14 December 2006 at 11:13 pm #

    some of that ol prog, for want of a better generic term, is hard to beat. That resent aust fav album showed where people’s head are at to some degree, PF, RH, JB no poppy tripe there. No church either so what do I know. I’ve tried listening to modern so called prog, it a bit retroderivitive.

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 December 2006 at 11:19 pm #

    i dont get the deal with horse meat. you (well not you per say) but you eat cow meat dont you…whats the difference…one moos one nays…thats about it.

  16. avatar
    ambnt1 | 14 December 2006 at 11:20 pm #


    No parlez-vous Francais? Well zen, I spit on you! Ha ha!! Iz true, we never produce any “bon” musique, only bon apetit!


    n.p. Ozric Tentacles, “Curious Corn” (retro proggers, Stoner rocke)

  17. avatar
    fergal | 14 December 2006 at 11:43 pm #

    look forward to seeing u in brisbane sk … any chance of a wee cameo appearance from pk?

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 12:25 am #

    Wonderful stuff Wednesday night. Laughed almost as much as I swayed. The only thing you were missing were your merimbas! Wearing my SK vs MWP tshirt today -casual Friday at work. On Jan 27 perhaps you can play Shadow Cabinet for Johnny at Kirabilly… Kate

  19. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 15 December 2006 at 1:17 am #

    actually me card should read like this, MARY XMAS JONNY HOLLYWOOD!!!
    Sit Down Jonny

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 2:33 am #

    On Wednesday night, I was feeling a bit flat, but then, you (both) came on and it was a blast! The Uncle Gary impersonation was a high point.
    If you weren’t @ the antisocial club on Wednesday night, you missed out! Big time!

  21. avatar
    don joe | 15 December 2006 at 2:50 am #

    As written in the aboves, Wednesday was a great night. Starting off with Ritz was a suprise and honestly you both could’ve gotten away with murder. The free form of both your ‘anecdotes’ between songs etc was fast and satirical. Made me forget about the world for a while. Was going to sit with you both whilst you ate but I thought I’d leave yooze in peace. Thanks Steve and please thank Marty for me as well. It is an honor to be a part of the following that has helped all concerned continue to enjoy each others creativeness through the mediums you use. And I’m glad the Church didn’t become like Mondo Rock….’nipple radio’…

    don joe

  22. avatar
    mike a | 15 December 2006 at 3:03 am #

    I have a lady co-worker friend who went into the men’s room by mistake and she saw a guy in the bathroom and said, “what are you doing in here?”, and he replied, “no, what are you doing in here?”. It took her a minute or two to figure out that she was the person in the wrong bathroom!!

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 4:15 am #

    Great concert on wednesday night. You guys were fantastic. The only downer on the night was the actual crowd. How fucken rude they were! Doesn’t anyone say excuse me any more or is it just the done things these days to push people out of your way. And also what about personal space? Doesn’t some chick really need to rub her breasts on my back? I mean mine are huge but I still have respect for other peoples space. Going back 10 years ago, to a Church concert was an event. The audience was like one and you made friends because of your love for the band. Where is the love, I wonder. Where is the love?

    Still, I loved you guys. Your two were very funny and brilliant with your songs. Next time the whole band plays, I will be there for sure. Although, I won’t go to the Pretenders show because I hate Chrissie Hinde. I saw them play at the Blues and Music Festival with Bryan Ferry. Lucky Bryan was there (thats who I came to see anyway) cause I would have asked for my money back. Who wants to pay money to see a lady that acts like a bloke and abuses the audience. Fuck that!

    In summary, you guys – never stopped being brilliant.
    Some Church fans – bloody rude!
    Chrissie Hinde – A fucken idiot. Please don’t want to be her toy boy you are way beyond her on many levels!

    Shit! I am whinging today. I better shut up now.

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 4:16 am #

    The last bit of the Aisle of Plenty is pretty damn good. “still alone on oh hell oh, see the deadly nightshade grow”. The Mellotron, Steve Hackett’s classical stylie and Peter Gabriel singing something from a Safeway catalog! – spooky kinda, How old do you reckon those guys were when they released that? 23 or 24 I think.
    vegan chi gong = mellow hippy
    jaeger red bull = savage canine

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 4:55 am #

    ripping good yarn…

  26. avatar
    Melissa | 15 December 2006 at 5:15 am #

    Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou Steve and Marty for such a wonderful evening on Wednesday πŸ™‚

    So many beautiful (yes! beautiful!) songs and the dancing was truely delightful!

    Thanks for putting a big smile on my face and hope to see you guys again soon. If Santa brings me tix and airfares for the space show in Sydney, I’d be so happy!

    ps Melbourne loves you too

  27. avatar
    Noel Christian | 15 December 2006 at 5:29 am #

    Just about 5 years ago I had taken my children to a public pool. It was one of those places with an olympic lap pool, a kiddie pool, and a great activity pool with a whirling area, a narrow chute, and a giant slide.

    As I’m walking through the shallows, my daughter (then 5) glides up behind me like a shark and in one swift move, pulls my trunks down. I stood naked before what seemed to be hundreds of women, mustered as much dignity as I could, pulled my trunks back up only to see my daughter’s face alight with a tremendous grin -completely unaware that pantsing Dad in a public setting is a bad thing.

    I can laugh about it now.

  28. avatar
    Belfrank | 15 December 2006 at 5:39 am #

    Watch what you say bout the French Kilbo or Marie-Laure will kick your ass πŸ˜‰
    Thomas will help her!
    love to the Twillies – have they still got their Tellie Tubbies – first ones in Sweden.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 5:42 am #

    Ahh yeah.. Stagnation on Trespass is one of the best jams
    have fun with the familia
    LMAO at the Law of Scarlett
    wish I could be at those shows
    sounds like a blast.
    jaime r………

  30. avatar
    Rolf Harris | 15 December 2006 at 5:45 am #

    Furthermore – I gotta send you some Michel Polnareff with that Popol Vuh i have for you – he’s another great French man.

  31. avatar
    Rael Slipperman | 15 December 2006 at 5:46 am #

    We are the Lamia…..
    Peter Gabriel was and still is a true Jenie-uss!!

  32. avatar
    stealthblue | 15 December 2006 at 6:46 am #

    Well said, Steve-o. That was a great entry. You had me in stitches! Glad the gig went great and you’re home safe a sound. Enjoy the family and whatever time you can muster up for yourself! I know exactly what you mean about the whole “mystery” of Christmas. Although I am not as Bah Hum Bug as I was last week. It is getting better, but it will hit right on Christmas Eve probably, usually does. Hopefully it snows…why not?
    Alright, “Ho-Ho-Ho” (there it is)to you and the fam.
    Good night and thanks for the laugh.
    Much peace and love,
    Ben V.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 6:56 am #

    He was checking out those calves!
    “Yes, they are great, spectacular, just like he said in the blog.”

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 8:59 am #

    Yeah, as all the others have said sk, you & the moustached mwp were great on Wednesday! It’s been so long since you’ve played solo together, but all the songs you did way back then still sound fantastic 10 years down the track! Mistress, Wide Open Road (what a beautiful song-sob) and Keeper were the highlights for me….but then again, I loved everything, even the stuff-ups…haha!

    Thanks for a great night sk (and thanks to Marty too).
    (Oooh those sculpted, secksy calves….very, very nice! Maybe baby sk will end up with a pair of killer calves like her daddy with all that kicking in the night haha!)

    Take care & love always,
    Amanda P

  35. avatar
    fl | 15 December 2006 at 9:48 am #

    hey Kilbey

    make sure you check out The Forest in Bris/West End on Boundary St. for some wicked vegan food! They have organic beer n wine too, so you’re guaranteed to eat like a king! Just had dinner from there myself.. fried rice with pecans n tempeh with creamy coconut vegges.. oh yeah. Definitely my favourite place to eat out at. It’s a bit of a hippy joint so I’m sure you’ll feel right at home! πŸ˜‰

    see you sunday!


  36. avatar
    fl | 15 December 2006 at 10:06 am #

    almost forgot..!
    for the best big breakfast EVER go to Fundies Organic Cafe in Paddington. I swear, it’s the BEST! Especially the scrambled tofu.. they do nice soy chais too!
    But get there before 12 so you still get a table.


  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 12:44 pm #

    thanks sk and mwp for the gig on wed. metropolis and hotel womb were my two faves of the night. took my daughter with me who is 20. i played her the church inutero and the first day of her life in the big wide world. she told me the hair on her neck stood on end whilst listening to you two. you’re still beautiful baby! the two of you! much love.
    D & S

  38. avatar
    restaurant mark | 15 December 2006 at 1:17 pm #

    sounds like an interesting time and good show. unfortunate about the smoke. hey, and you be careful…don’t drop the soap in the showers! the old guy might get a better view than you want! the last time a gay guy hit on me he tried to get me to dance with him in some club. after all the politeness i could find was already given, i finally introduced him to my wife and assured him in a slighly out of patience voice that i was quite the fan of pussy. sorry to be so blunt here, right now, but that’s what i told em. the guy works for an interior designer so he comes into the art gallery i work at about once a week…needless to say he doesn’t stare at me quite as much anymore. take care man. and you’re right, air is one of the only good bands to come out of france! peace.

  39. avatar
    Gareth,Notts | 15 December 2006 at 1:37 pm #

    just received my big P=A poster and 1 t-shirt,no sign of the other 2 though!!belly laughed at the olde gaye man and Hutch corrupting Karen Carpenter,an odd mental image was conjured up for the froggies Jarre is the pick of the bunch,closely followed by Air and S.G.!!!

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 2:28 pm #

    well the delay was well worth the arrival sk

    next time, margot?


    ps those calves are universal, kinda like your music.. and your chrissy cards in the mail πŸ™‚

  41. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 15 December 2006 at 3:08 pm #

    until i go to the great northcote social club in the sky
    where i will rock forever with hutch n karen carpenter
    (i wonder if hes done for her what he did for kylie)
    and speaking of her

    That is bloody hysterical!

    I’m hoping for Kylie that the rumors about Martinez are just that. She’s gone through enough shit.

    I remember designing T-shirts and various promotional material for Kylie’s first Australian concert, wow that was ages ago.

    I did meet Michael once. He shook my hand for what felt like an eternity. It was when he was first dating Kylie. I was thinking, what do I say to this guy? Of course you feel like you never say the right things. There was cocaine aplenty that night!

    My two girls can be a tad obvious in changing rooms checking out women’s anatomy. The expressions on their faces when they see the naughty bits are priceless, fascination that the human body can very so much from individual to individual in terms of size and shape. I do tell them it is rude to stare. Yes, they haven’t quite learnt to be subtle. Social etiquette!

  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 December 2006 at 3:22 pm #

    chirp chirp

  43. avatar
    Larry | 15 December 2006 at 4:16 pm #

    Rainbow Warrior, an Aussie boat? Wha? Former pommy government ship sunk in Auckland, yes.

    A rainbow appeared during a rugby match between France and NZ a few years later – the Kiwis thrashed ’em soundly, appropriately enough.

    Does Gong count as a French band?

  44. avatar
    JJ | 15 December 2006 at 5:20 pm #

    Seems you can’t escape that eggplant and capsicum, sorry.

    Selling England was a good album, I still listen to it. Remember seeing them do it live way back when, with Hackett’s fluid guitar lines on Firth of Fourth, and PG when he had luxuriant hair. The note he left was signed Old Father Thames, it seems he’s drowned… digesting England by the pound. They sure went downhill fast when Gabriel left, and Collins – ugh, utter disintegration.

    Xmas is indeed yin and yang, a mixed bag ‘o myth and legend. A happy kringle to Family Kilbey.


  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 December 2006 at 12:06 am #

    Me…well I seen The Church and all of the solo gigs of you guys for well over 20 years now…Wednesday night was one of the best ever…The playlist was excellent…wish you guys played a second show…thanks for the memories…

  46. avatar
    kat | 16 December 2006 at 5:29 am #

    ha ha the shower/changing room scenes make me remember that horrid aerosmith song dude looks like a lady..

    acting: the actor by the moody blues. now there is a song i love..

    keep on keeping on,


  47. avatar
    davem | 16 December 2006 at 7:00 am #

    Getting the names wrong is a joy isn’t it?
    I do have a small tip though. Getting the kids names mixed up is leaving yourself open to ridicule – but never, ever do it with wives…………….
    Have a splendid weekend.
    Love you more,

    Dave M

  48. avatar
    matthew | 16 December 2006 at 3:17 pm #

    not forgetting of course – Ca Plane Pour Moi by Plastique Bertrand

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