posted on December 3, 2006 at 7:52 pm

good mourning fiendss n fiendettess
thank you to my subscribers
i appreciate your continued financial support
well its monday , isnt it?
i got so much on…
finish mixing el mo 2 monday n tuesday
wednesday night katoomba gig with mwp
thursday tv show interview
friday rehearse 2 man play(opening bondi jan12)
saturday or sun ..record tribute track for grant record
monday clean up spare room …a mammoth task
tuesday twilliepops arrive
and muffler now completely obnoxious
must see midas the muffler king
greedy fiendss write in
tell us about heyday
tell us about mats
slow down fiendss
ive spoiled ya by giving ya 2 much 2 soon
landsakes, we gotta stretch this out
make the stories last…..its a long journey
pace ourselves
i promise you this
everything will be revealed
when this process is over
youll know everything
continue to have a track on #1 album this week in aust
craig obey vs the cherch
hear them cents tricklin’ in to my cavernously empty account
aint it funny
you take the 1st verse of an olde song
ya put doof doof doof
ya got a new song
ya in the charts n evvything
is that all it takes
will anyone ever do a new version of obeys version
so its roger kaputnick vs craig obey vs the cherch
a tag team number
its obey , hes twisting the cherchs first verse
oh thats gotta hurt
but whats this…?!
kaputnicks got obey by his doof doofs
hes applying pressure to his crotchet
the cherch are on the ropes
kaputnick does his atomic drop
hes gonna diss obey….
he aint gonna be doing no remixing for a while…
silly aint it fiendss….
that still leaves me here
and feeling tired just contemplating it all
i ve run out of goji juice too
nk n doodles + bumper
bought xmas decorations yessaday
and it seems only a matter of time
before the hall is decked with boughs of holly
and baby bumper is wearing tinsel n icicles
quite frankly i hate xmas decos…bah humbug
whats it gotta do with baby jesus
who is santa n the grinches love child
who was born to set free frosty the snowman
and the magic xmas tree who was pining away
until the 3 wise guys brought their chrissie pressies
and he said bugger the frankinswhatsis n the mer
gimme the gold ,baybee
and what did the verging mary spend all that gold on..?
a copy of craig obey vs the cherch?
and joseph
he bought marys story, did he?
and what did he get for christmas?
more fucking aftershave?
and donna n blitzen n rudolph the red nosed
landing on the roof
waking up kelly next door
and she comes out
and starts abusing santa
there you fucking are…you red clad sorry son of a bitch!
think you can drop down a girls chimney
give her a present
then piss off fer a year, do ya?
and keep ya bloody reindeers of the hydrangeas
well i gotta surprise for you claus…
(sound of struggling)
“no kelly, dont empty the red sack…
aw hell kelly, all the childrens presents……all ruined!”
now piss off to maroubra, you yuletide wanker
“no, kelly, dont kick my sleigh…aw please
aw kelly now the bells dont jingle….”

xmas in aust is a joke anyway
its hot
its unxmassy
its a heathen hedonistic excuse to drink beer
n lie on a beach
i aint giving no presence to no one
except kids
so dont hang around yer po box waiting for my gift, ebenezer!

last nite saw a very good show on peter cook n dudley moore
about their partnership n split
i dreampt about it
and was glad when i woke up
brilliant comedians those 2 boys
try n see bedazzled
thats the film they based that awful one with liz hurl-lee
n bend-on phraser on

i guess thats it my fiendss
its 20 to 8 in morning
doodles are up n drawing
the weather is iffy
must swim
do something bout my muffler
get in studio

52 Responses to “the timid being”

  1. avatar
    The Carrier of Fruit | 3 December 2006 at 8:54 pm #

    Am I the first?

    anywayz sk, as my uncle used to say at xmas time….
    “condiments of the seasoning”

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 9:02 pm #

    watched the dudley show last nighttoo…peter cook came across as a very talented,charismatic yet incredibly egocentric sel-fish bastard. wonder if it rang any bells!! (’tis xmas after all).

  3. avatar
    Tokin' Jester | 3 December 2006 at 9:05 pm #

    ‘ol sandypaws is the red & white commercial obnoxiousness he is taday cuzza coke a cola! ’tis true

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 9:14 pm #

    bah humbug meself

    can’t pay til I get paid


    doof doof doof

  5. avatar
    Fandorin | 3 December 2006 at 9:27 pm #

    “doof doof doof”

    is it a pure coincidence that, in german, theze wörtz mean “dumb dumb dumb”?

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 9:29 pm #

    RE: the Obey-abuse: Did you actually give permission? Or all they have to do is notify you ? It doesn’t matter. I just have to say as a true fan (and old[er]… I suppose that has something to do with it), I think it just sounds like pure crap. [And perhaps that’s why it’s on the radio.] Ah, I’m an old purist, I guess. Anyway, I think what I really want to say is: I do hope that you really are getting some monetary recompense for that.

  7. avatar
    mime | 3 December 2006 at 9:29 pm #

    ‘Thanks for christmas, thanks for all the love and happiness…’

  8. avatar
    mattdavison | 3 December 2006 at 10:07 pm #

    Hey Hey Pretenders in NZ no Cheerrch.!!!! Thats the op of a life time 4 us kiwis.. packed audience and the chance for you to blow us away???? Mmmmm.(can ya can ya.Otherwise its sell lots a paintings and hope like crazy.
    And on yesterdays. Your vids are fantastic, Vids matter ..Thats how you can connect to the audience, they got ta see you they gotta watch a story…Think about u2 they got my fav director Wim Wenders shooting clips “Stay, Until the end of the world..etc.
    Metroplolis is great..Two places is a journey, UTMW .. a BIT WAT!! tELEPATH video and block is in my head..I could shoot vids that would take you there..Inter-space outer world escapism..just me do one for ya..
    Don’t underestimate the power of visual/sound connection.. Look at some of Bowies clips or the cure..

  9. avatar
    the dean | 3 December 2006 at 10:08 pm #

    Mario Milano would be proud of this one.

  10. avatar
    damien | 3 December 2006 at 10:38 pm #

    Don’t panic, Mr. K!

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 10:41 pm #

    crissie pressies
    so aussie

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 10:50 pm #

    Bedazzled by cook and moore is a movie you can watch and watch and appreciate and laugh everytime you see it. Love the bit where he is singing the title song on Hullaballoo-like show. Such a great song.

    Wonder if we get that bio show here in the u.s.?

    Enjoyed the xmas story – great take that i don’t think my wife or kids would appreciate – but i do!

    ed in fl

  13. avatar
    John Garratt | 3 December 2006 at 10:54 pm #

    Did “Through the Hill” ever arrive safely?


  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 11:02 pm #

    landsakes! that’s great. never ceases to amaze me with your take on everything from what seems like a million peoples’ experiences.

    love ya love ya
    i will cross my toes for goji juice to arrive at your door.


  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 11:05 pm #

    okay, you are right. x-mas means greed….so we would like to know all about each solo project, each collaborative project and each thing i’ve forgotten to ask for.
    please santy please.


    p.s. lustre=yes

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 11:12 pm #

    on the hour, every hour of today
    i’m gonna send you some of my
    peace love energy love patience love space love time love
    and then i’m gonna slow it all down for you

    thanks for the great read even when you’re stretched


  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2006 at 11:23 pm #

    Shop around for the best price on your muffler!

  18. avatar
    skyintheairwaves | 4 December 2006 at 12:01 am #

    saw the cook moore biopic too – loved it.

    When is the Roger Kaputnick flick going in to production?

    You should star!

    (I loved Mad in its heyday too…)

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 12:58 am #

    I unashamedly cry ‘bah humbug’

  20. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 4 December 2006 at 1:06 am #

    el mo 2 is on me rise…
    Ne iko

  21. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 4 December 2006 at 1:10 am #

    Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Ditto with the christmas decorations.

  22. avatar
    Richard | 4 December 2006 at 1:12 am #

    the biopic screened straight after a viewer poll thing about Australia’s favourite albums

    did you tune in on the off chance that your mignions here might have voted enough times to push one of your masterpieces into the top ten?

    if you did, you’ll know we failed

    I confess that I didn’t vote

    I couldn’t

    if I did have a favourite album it would be a Church album – problem is, I don’t have a favourite Church album

    see what happens when you’re too good?

  23. avatar
    eek | 4 December 2006 at 1:16 am #

    Steve, I think you should change (or have Russell change) your avatar pic here to am image of the Bah Humbug painting for the holidays. I love those pissed off red eyes in it. 🙂

    I have to admit I got one hell of a laugh out of the Kelly and Santa bit.

    “no, kelly, dont kick my sleigh…aw please
    aw kelly now the bells dont jingle….”


  24. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 4 December 2006 at 1:29 am #

    A christmas with sunbathing and beer? Now that I could get into the season for.

  25. avatar
    JJ | 4 December 2006 at 3:21 am #

    I have to admit, I could not get used to a hot summer of a christmas. Too much northern hemisphere in me for that. I have fond childhood memories of the lights and trees though, but these days – seems to be a huge retail merchandising orgasm of immense proportions. And if I hear that gawd-awful McCartney christmas tune again: “we’re all having a wonderful christmastime” (insert some synthesizer farts between each line), well, Macca should be ashamed. Lennon’s was OK, that one by Greg Lake pretty good, and the Pogues’ tune (can’t recall the name, ‘ol Shane McGowan’s xmas tune). Then there’s always Bong Crosby’s White Christmas, or the Bowie duet Drummer Boy tune with Bong, and Peanuts jazzy soundtrack.

    How old are the Twillies now? Can one room contain ’em both?

    Kelly would be a tough date; really tough date. Ask Santa!


  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 3:21 am #

  27. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 4 December 2006 at 3:50 am #

    it would be cheaper
    just to put a metallica sticker
    on your bumber
    (no, not scarlet!)
    than to fix your muffler

  28. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 4 December 2006 at 3:50 am #

    oops, that should be

  29. avatar
    snoop bloggy blog | 4 December 2006 at 3:53 am #

    I got out of the christmas game 5 years ago – announced to my loved ones no more gifts to or from me please but you can make me a big lunch and have me over and clean up after me, cause that’s what it’s all about. It was scary to kill my tradition but it’s been very freeing and I’m never going back to christmastown again. I don’t believe in traditional holidays anymore – they’ve all been converted into big sales extravaganzas with fake super heroes in America. So I just celebrate Everyday…everyday. And birthdays – I still believe in birthdays. But the rest of you holiday lot can sod off!

  30. avatar
    eek | 4 December 2006 at 5:01 am #

    I gotta admit I’m a holiday floozie — I’ll celebrate anything that will get me gifts. 🙂

  31. avatar
    lily | 4 December 2006 at 6:23 am #

    The original Bedazzled is indeed a fine film. Very, very clever and funny. And the song! Well, Dremble Wedge and the Vegetation is no Church, but it’s certainly a good tune!

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 9:27 am #

    So you’re one of those guys who bombs around with half a muffler….some of us have refined ears, dude.


  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 9:59 am #

    The real reason for the season.

  34. avatar
    mattdavison | 4 December 2006 at 10:04 am #


    I see no trace..
    On the lips of the seas that roll
    looking for courage, to take on the sea.
    Years breeze by like the soaking and drying of another newspaper day.

    The clouds roll back with lighter weight
    falling parachute rain never reaching the ground.

    sounds and whispers in the croud speak of a shrouded woman pleasant and proud, talking of a place where the touches of a spirit among the darkened hills,

    discounted her bitter pills…..

  35. avatar
    isolde | 4 December 2006 at 10:12 am #

    when you’ve had enuff chrissmess and collective relatives you can run away here and play objective correlatives

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 10:19 am #


    ooooh muze

    where did you go my fateful muse?

    I spy a rabbit in the sky

    Full moon fever

    all my love

    all of my love

    all of my love to thee

  37. avatar
    indigoruby | 4 December 2006 at 10:41 am #

    Chris mass decorations make me cringe too. Never seen such a monstrosity as the 3-story-high tree at the QVB – but on my Sydeney jaunt it was a vital landmark so I knew I was next to the right bus stop to get back to my aunt’s place…

    For a laugh check out the link to a game of “sober santa”:


    Ps Good luck with the decluttering

  38. avatar
    restaurant mark | 4 December 2006 at 2:16 pm #

    nothing like getting your car repaired right? fun, fun, fun! i don’t believe i’ll ever suggest what you should write about here…i’ve come to the conclusion you’re quite capable of figuring that out on your own. i’m the passenger…you can turn down whatever street you like!
    take care

  39. avatar
    matthew | 4 December 2006 at 2:32 pm #

    hey sk – (i believe i might hazard a suggestion!) –how boot a tell all on “forget yourself”? “fy” constantly reminds me of the time i nearly fell in love with a girly bass player. oh, but that was a time! we cooked up some mean grooves and created a nice frisson…. we both dug “June” together, over n over n over amen… then the bottom-end fell out of it all. But wait!! this is your blog, not mine…

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 3:22 pm #

    Is it me or did you read lots of MAD mag back in the day? something familiar about your phonetic take on names and then the RK reference. hmmmm…

    perhaps greedy with da heyday requests but what can I say, now i’m addicted. this stuff ain’t light. it changed my life.

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 3:22 pm #

    Hey! YouTube copyright lawyers’ banquet! 20 Church vids… C’mon get ’em… No, no, don’t killllll moi in the stampeeeeeede AAAUGHUGHAUGHAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! choke death splutter coff die

  42. avatar
    craig1.618 | 4 December 2006 at 3:29 pm #

    sk, remembering diana….whilst looking for a private spot you said…..”some of those folks tryin’ to tell me what to do”……well now you’ve really gone and done it…..setting em up with starfish and p=a ruminations…..give the kids the keys to the car and 3 days later… and kids still a no-show…..and your nextdoors’ a sayin “last i saw em they were taking that corner there on 2-wheels singing something about raking olde poseidon over the coals”…..i kid you sk 😉

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2006 at 3:59 pm #

    A Christmas Story

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.
    He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
    Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
    I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

    I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
    Instead of “Thanks Santa”–what do I hear?
    The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
    The elves want more money–The reindeer all fight.

    Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
    Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
    And just when I thought that things would get better
    Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
    They say I owe taxes–if that ain’t damn funny
    Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

    And the kids these days–they all are the pits
    They want the impossible–Those mean little shits
    I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
    Assembling dolls…Their arms, legs and heads
    I made a ton of yo yo’s–No request for them,
    They want computers and robots…they think – I’m IBM!

    Flying through the air…dodging the trees
    Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
    I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
    I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

    There’s no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
    I found me a blonde. I’m going SOUTH for the season

    BAH HUMBUG !!!


  44. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 4 December 2006 at 4:22 pm #

    I’ve been dropping the Spanish ball:

    i promise you this
    everything will be revealed
    when this process is over
    youll know everything

    Les prometo esto
    todo sera revelado
    cuando se termine este proceso
    sabran todo


  45. avatar
    CSTCoach | 4 December 2006 at 5:31 pm #

    A pox on sampling and remixes, especially dancified!!! (though I hope it means that you get some royalties). Every time I hear that doof doof doof (or rap for that matter) I want to stab my brain with a Q-tip.

    JLK’s song summed it up so well. “Just another terrible rehash.”


  46. avatar
    davem | 4 December 2006 at 5:43 pm #

    Exciting news about you finishing mixing of El Mo 2. Looking forward to seeing what you’ve chosen to re-visit.
    Dave M

  47. avatar
    ambnt1 | 4 December 2006 at 8:35 pm #


    All I want for Christmas is a couple wise cracks from you, to get my $1.69 per week worth. And maybe a record of you rapping over “doof doofs”.


    n.p. Enigma, “A Posteriori” (doof doof beats with sublime ambient electronica)

  48. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 5 December 2006 at 1:57 am #

    Hey! Obey Craig! Renew, renew the blood! Flush those royalties through! Every cover version keeps them KJ & Twillies in booties! Them Swedish snow damn cold!
    You better dooof dooof watchout, you better dooof dooof Falcon wheelie OBEY I’m telling you jingle why, the APRA statement is a-comin to town…

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 December 2006 at 10:59 am #

    Loved Anita Lane’s version of Peter Cook’s Bedazzled. Missed that show but did see ‘Delightful Rain’ the other night.

    But Ebenezer! Im still a kid at heart so i still qualify?! 🙂 Personally i hate the xmas expenses most of all but i melt at the look on the kids faces opening gifts and the ‘ooh aahs’ of the chrissy lights, im kinda partial to those fairy lights at night.

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 December 2006 at 11:00 am #

    ps but what an extra special chrissy with the twillies arriving!!

  51. avatar
    Dilip Doshi | 5 December 2006 at 1:22 pm #

    I can fix your muffler for nufink if you want SK. i’m not far from bondi.

  52. avatar
    veleska1970 | 5 December 2006 at 6:03 pm #

    ewww…i heard obey’s….uh…”song” and i think it sucks. no offense to anyone who may like it, but to me it’s like someone re-doing the mona lisa with crayons. it seems to have cheapened it. oh well, what do i know? i just work here.

    christmas hasn’t really done it for me in quite a while, either, though for the past few years of course my daughter is into it. we put up our tree this past weekend. i must say it is pretty and adds a nice glow to the living room. and the cat likes to knock the ornaments off and play hockey with them~~an added entertainment bonus for us.

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