posted on August 5, 2008 at 9:12 pm

killer awakes before dawn
he chooses a face from the ancient gallery
(freckled tanned getting old)
and he walks on down the hall
he comes to the room of his doodles
yes daddy
i want to….
i want to get you to school on time
(so i dont have to go in and fill in the form)
oh sad day
the doodles and i cant get it together
to achieve liftoff momentum
and leave the houses orbit
always something
i cant find my keys
scarlets screaming demanding another kiss goodbye from eve
aurora cant find her bloody flute
i dunno whatever
eventually we walk off towards school
its about 5 minutes away
i start razzing the doodles
hey doodles yer teachers gonna be waiting for ya with the cane
no dad says one doodle
stop that says the other doodle
yep (i say) shes gonna be furious with you
no she wont dad says one doodle
she wont says the other
like a volcano her anger will be pouring out like smoke
i’m raving on now enjoying the sound of my own voice
and she’ll be waving a fiery cane thats going wwwwhhhhooooo
as she swings it round
dad they dont cane kids anymore says one doodle
they’d get fired if they did says the other
bloody hell doodles!
i know that …i’m just givin’ ya a story as we walk to skooly
we dont want that sort of thing says eve
we want something……nice says aurora
something nice they both chime together
ok i say
i’m up for the challenge of something nice
i cast around
i think of george bush fucking up the economy
i think of mal turnbull at an art gallery
i think of the oil goin’ down
and the climate going up
and the ye olde inflation swallowing my royalty cheque
i think of all my mistakes and blunders
but nice…..?!
so i say
well doodles you know….i’m quite a nice guy
i’m walking along holding hands with em
theres a profound silence after my last remark
arent i…doodles….?
the doodles dont reply
but i feel a slight tremor in each hand i’m holding
i hear a sound like suppressed……laughter
suddenly the doodles both break out in their characteristic laffs
eve a rapid fire guffaw huh huh huh huh huh
aurora like an old lady oh ha ha ha ha
whats this? i say
slightly wounded
you dont think i’m a nice guy?
aurora comes up with one of her typical sayings
ah dad ah well ah ya know
its only coz youre nice
that we can laugh when you say youre nice
yeah! says eve but not really following the logic
ok i say scratching my head
i s’pose thats alright then….is it?
suddenly school hoves into sight
are we late?
arent we late?
yes no
yes no
the doodles make a charge for it
we can still do it they say
eve runs off without a kiss
eve wheres my kiss
she turns in mid flight
but her eyes are glazed over
shes like a school zombie now
she kisses me goodbye
but no ones at home
shes already in the playground
aurora gives me a kiss
bye dad
youll forget me the moment you walk thru that gate i say
no dad i wont..she reassures me
yes you will i say
well tonite i’ll tell ya how long it took, ok dad?
ok i say…damn shes fobbed me off again
go to the pool
its very cold in the water
a real shock
someone said they felt under attack in there
it is an instant attitude adjustment
it is a defining moment of the day
its freezing
it knocks the air outta yer lungs
at this point most punters get back out
but us winter swimmers
we stay in
eventually you get a lovely warm numb feeling
as you swim through the icy water
your mind slows down
you can get some planning done
think things thru
the sauna is hot
no “outers” today
just an old russian guy enjoying the heat
i come home
work on jumbo
play with scarlet
who is both nasty and nice
i go out n do yoga
and shes crawling into the crooks of my arms n legs
and sliding over and under me
she’s being the yoga terrorist
we end up sitting there in the winter sun
me cross legged
her on my lap
having a good old natter
she sees the moon in the sky…but its day
its the moon-sun she says
later on the mynah birds start flying in the house
one gets trapped and squirted with some water for its trouble
it goes back out the door like a bat out of hell
aha…i’m armed with waterpistols and i’m a good shot
theres a mynah sitting on my balc
chewing on one of my potted shrubs
i blast the bastard right thru the screen
he didnt even know i was there
now he looks like donald duck
getting a squirt right in the eye
he flies off expressing his shock and awe
clicking and whistling
wow i’m armed and ready
my action however
only escalated the war
the mynahs were trying to get back in all day
despite taking several hits
and dropping some very nasty dollops in my house
scarlet a victim of friendly fire
and no truce negotiated

40 Responses to “title-less”

  1. avatar
    Polydora | 5 August 2008 at 10:22 pm #

    Jaunts filled with stories, silliness and guffaws are my favorite. Your post reminds me of some of my most perfect moments shared with my children. The sun is shining here. It’s warm but not too warm. Funny that only you can make freezing water sound inviting to a warm weather lover like me.

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 August 2008 at 10:31 pm #


    Can I ask how the flip you get so much done so early in the flipping morning? I’m jiggered just getting my arse into work on time.

    Olde Amps

  3. avatar
    fantasticandy | 5 August 2008 at 10:32 pm #

    yer a lucky olde git killer!
    try to remember that sometimes…..
    all that love…

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 August 2008 at 11:39 pm #

    professor yogi skywalker jones instructs on the finer jazz points of scat-ology,in the minor bird’s key.;) 😀 xo

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 12:04 am #

    look out world!for the gorgeous sassy kilbey girls!

  6. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 6 August 2008 at 12:54 am #

    Steven John Kilbey

    Dear Sir:

    You are OK computer for always criticizing Bush and the USA. What about China? They support murderous regimes in Darfur, Burma, Zimbabwe and Pakistan. They abuse human rights at home. They butcher dogs and cats for fur. They are the world’s biggest polluter and support the killing of endangered species for the illegal wildlife parts trade that provides them with bogus, ineffectual medicinal remedies. China malevolently occupies Tibet ! Got it !

    Sincerely yours,

    The Friends Of Mynah Birds Society

  7. avatar
    JJ | 6 August 2008 at 2:04 am #

    Nice is that you get the luxury, however remote, of walking your girls to school (bad pun, yes I admit).

    One of Neil Young’s first bands was The Mynah Birds, with Rick James, I believe. Strange mix. Just saw his film (Shakey Productions) of CSNY tour of US and the divided reactions of some fans to “Living With War” tunes such as “Let’s Impeach The President”….sorry I missed that tour here in Atlanta, if I’d known they were revisiting their antiwar roots I woulda gone. A good film. Stephen Stills….wow…..some folks age better than others, but I like him. “Military madness…is killing my country” – indeed, Graham.

  8. avatar
    the mynah birds | 6 August 2008 at 3:35 am #

    Cudliffes Rembles snuck away with Finkles from Jeffy Stork Flabber while Necker Cocky-Moose, Nogger Bignock & Squatty Brankins ate all the contents of Victor von Bonos' biccy tin

    aha – i see the beginnings of esskay's magic pudding for the kiddies…

  9. avatar
    kat | 6 August 2008 at 4:48 am #

    ya sk, i have to agree with olde amps , as i can barely get my shit in a kit to get out the door to work in the morning. aha i got a visual in my head about you all heading to school. your girls sound like my nieces katie & elizabeth. pieces of work! do they wig out about homework?

    and the mynah bird – ha ha too. last year in newport when i got home one day i thought puffer was pawing a bug and it was a mole. i freaked out, as i'm not the biggest mole fan, scooped it up with a measuring cup and flung it out over the balcony. then of course i had to feel guilty cuz its face scrunched up like he or she was having a stroke and then it died. lol

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 5:24 am #

    taking my kid to school is my fave part of the day…all downhill from there then uphill gain when I get home…ah well…

  11. avatar
    linjo | 6 August 2008 at 5:36 am #

    At present only 2% of China’s population of 1.6billion owns a car. By 2020 they will have more than 140 million cars over there. 12 out of the 16 most polluted cities worldwide are in China. 25% of LA smog is attributed to China (?)As I recycle etc I do think it all seems a bit futile, considering…Hope that little baby girl can always see her “moon sun” Linda x

  12. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 6 August 2008 at 6:03 am #

    watch out for my mynah bird attack on your grey skull, the longer you make me wait the more water you waste…
    Sit Down Jonny

  13. avatar
    davem | 6 August 2008 at 6:23 am #

    All this talk of mynah birds means I’ve got to go and give Block a spin. What a track.
    My kids are too old to be taken to school now…..make the most of ’em whilst they’re young, esskay.

  14. avatar
    princey | 6 August 2008 at 6:33 am #

    Haha, your blog made me laugh today sk, you and the water pistol, what a sight that musta been! Reminds me of the Neuman painting you posted the other week. And the “yoga terrorist”, what a cuuuutie!
    Thanks for cheering me up today TTB.
    Love Amanda

  15. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 6 August 2008 at 7:21 am #

    where i live the seagulls are the size of dogs and have a very bad attitude towards things. i recently found out that the lady we bought our house off was arrested a while ago for shooting at them in the back garden with an air rifle. i am thinking of following her example as they are annoying bastards.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 9:05 am #

    The blog was good, a slice of life well executed. The labels however are exemplary, I don’t know where he pulls these from – nonsense fit for Lear or Joyce. Some of his best work yet.

  17. avatar
    sid & arthur | 6 August 2008 at 9:11 am #

    We don’t want this kind of thing.
    Brien always ignores the fact that you kill insects.
    And now you attack birds.
    You’re a bad buddhist, Kilbey, and you will not be taken from the cycle of reincarnation.
    You’re coming back as something that will suffer.
    Maybe a U2 fan…

  18. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 6 August 2008 at 10:22 am #

    well sid – are you suggesting mr kilbey will suffer a karmic hit

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 10:52 am #

    Imagine having to listen to U2 – that’s what I call punishment!

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 11:15 am #

    When your head is not wedged between your own butt cheeks (supearya pose) you are so insightful and funny.
    Were you not smelling yourself today dear?

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 11:18 am #

    I dunno if that’s to you or me, Steve!

  22. avatar
    princey | 6 August 2008 at 11:21 am #

    WOW! I just saw there’s a live video of KK on the myspace page from the Toff in Melby! Gorgeous song, gorgeous words, gorgeous voice…..I really needed that tonight, thanks kk!

  23. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 6 August 2008 at 12:06 pm #

    On a side note, Steve:

    Have you considered releasing Painkiller and the next Church album on vinyl, too? I highly recommend that you do. I gave up on vinyl in 1987, but recently I was inspired by my new girlfriend and bought a vinyl record-player. I realised how much I had missed buying real albums – you know, as opposed to cheap-looking cd’s in plastic cases. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. It’s just an entirely different experience buying music on vinyl and enjoying that very speciel experience (the warm sound, the beautiful packaging). As it is, vinyl is experiencing a revival / resurgence of sorts. Pretty much every new release is being released on vinyl, too, no matter if we’re talking big names or smaller ones. By not releasing one’s music on vinyl, you automatically rule out another potential income for you. Personally I would by your music on vinyl AND download it, too.
    And while you’re at it, please release Gold Afternoon Fix, Priest = Aura, Sometime Anywhere, Hologram Of Baal, After Everything Now This, Forget Yourself, Beside Yourself and Uninvited, Like The Clouds on vinyl, too. The very thought of it makes med giddy like a little child at Christmas. So…Please, please, please, please!!!

  24. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 6 August 2008 at 12:40 pm #

    yaaaawwwwnnn…i need to go to bed, guys…
    shades of alfred hitchcock with your mynah birds, steve…i’d be careful if i were you…

  25. avatar
    melt it down for ashtrays | 6 August 2008 at 12:48 pm #

    I would never buy vinyl again. I hated it at the time and I hate the memory of it just as much.
    I bought GAF brand-new, day of release, got it home, played it and…right in the middle of the piano & voice breakdown in Grind, what did I get? Yep – ksshk, kssshk, ksshhk, snap, crackle and fuckin pop, right through it. Sorry, Thomas, but you're welcome to vinyl, mate!

  26. avatar
    tnt | 6 August 2008 at 12:57 pm #

    The birds.

    Here is a ‘nice’ Australian Dreamtime Story about how and why the Brolgas were created:

    There was a beautiful girl who enchanted everybody when she danced and sang. The young men would not leave her alone or let her have any peace, and the ugly bitter girls threw rocks at her, making her run away from her family.

    The medicine men and women followed the spirit of the land into the mountains and found the girl, who did not want to go home, or dance or sing, and was really unhappy.

    The family just wanted the girl to be happy, and free. So the medicine men and women cast their magic, and the spirit of the land swept the girl up into the sky, and when the dust cleared, everyone could see the Brolga, dancing and singing, free and happy.

  27. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 6 August 2008 at 1:07 pm #

    Which is why I would download the music, too. Then I would have a feast for the eyes as well as the ears.

  28. avatar
    except for the covers | 6 August 2008 at 1:26 pm #

    Vinyl packaging did rule, though, Thomas, you’re right there!

  29. avatar
    ross b | 6 August 2008 at 1:53 pm #

    A warm, humanely uplifting blog of a day in the life of a wonderful human being

    All the best to you, sk!!

    Cheers, Ross

  30. avatar
    John | 6 August 2008 at 1:54 pm #

    I seem to remember a blog from the summer of 2006 that ended with something along the lines of “you want nice? fine, everything’s nice, fucking nice, signed, the nice man!”

    John Garratt

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 2:04 pm #

    I just saw L Steelo at the basement. He was good but has a ways to go to emulate the feats of El Kilbo at the Sando.

  32. avatar
    matthew | 6 August 2008 at 2:16 pm #

    Haha Steve, sounds all too familiar, like a typical school morning around here… except I have only 1 girl, & she's 14 (sleeps even later)… and she's attending Neo-Bullyneham High…

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 2:33 pm #

    why has amandaaa changed her identity to princey.
    same photo, same gushing blaahhh
    OMG the new genx

  34. avatar
    Polydora | 6 August 2008 at 3:21 pm #

    “karmic hit”

    good one, Jeeves! Very quick and clever.


  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 4:24 pm #

    “We dont want that sort of thing” says Eve.

    I love that line!

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 7:46 pm #

    Fuck Clapton….Kilbey is God.

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 7:50 pm #

    “Will somebody turn the bloody Church off?”
    Jack Mullard, 6 august 2008, 8.50pm.
    Killer – there’s no accounting for taste!!

  38. avatar
    steve kilbey | 6 August 2008 at 9:09 pm #

    he got jack of it

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 August 2008 at 10:28 pm #

    Hey John Garrat, I remember that ‘Nice man’ thing too. Wasn’t it also saying something along the lines of ‘thanks,you’ve emasculated me’ too???

    Steve I love ya whether you’re niceman, nastyman, emasculated, pre-op, post-op, whatever blows your skirt up!!!

  40. avatar
    don joe | 8 August 2008 at 8:28 am #

    sounds like a nice day 😀

    don joe

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