posted on December 9, 2006 at 9:04 pm

sunday morning
sunday morning…
theres something in a sunday…
6.48 sunday
fripp n eno on escape pod
goji juice in hand
thc in bloodstream
pk portrait on bloodred background NEARLY completed
pete completed
yes and some wiley commenter points out
why aint sk the BLACK wiggle?
fuck, i could inject a bit of raw edge visceral humour
for the long sufferin’ adults who are subjected to the wiggles
quite frankly have ya ever seen this stuff?
its enuff to drive even the sanest man(like mee!)
to go stark raving bonkers
its the most patronizing schmaltzy drippy corny
and awkward and mawkish and EMBARRASSING RUBBISH
i dont care if its made for kids
i woodna watched this malarkey when i was a kid!!!
would you?
kids arent all stupid
only some of em
in the same proportion as adults
some turkeys here
some genii there
beware
expose your kidss to this tripe
and bad results could follow
childhood is an important age ya know
if you expose yer kidss to nerdy blokes in skivvies
singing tuneless silly songs
you aint gonna get frida kahlo or johnny lennon outta it
it stands to reason
play em the church
your kids could be quoting the lyrics to the disillusionist
on the first day of school….
cmon
look i aint even gonna criticize the wiggles no more
its kinda like gawking at a traffic accident or something
but jeff n murray n stig
if ya do need a black wiggle with a bit of pizazz
and some new kiddy songs
ones that address real childrens issues
like
“popularity crisis in e flat minor”
and
“sibling strangler”
get the picture….im a vailabull
*************************
last nite me n evie starr attended a galllery opening n xmas party
at an exclusive private soiree eastern suburbs you werent there nyah nyah
bohemian bash in bondi
im just standing back as the attentive blogger
trying to capture it all for you
the colourful dresses swirl around
men with all varieties of facial hair
as we walk in evie spots her best friend from school
and shes off
leaving daddy-oh free to mingle
gee its the usual crowd plus…
society chicks with tit-jobs
gay cameramen
those brazilian types with porsches n pony-tails
where do they get all their money from? (ha-ha!)
theres lucian the director
theres andy whos having the exhibition
the gallery owner comes up n tells me how much he loves chrissy b hinde
too bad mah man…i have 0 free tickets for that
he also says hes waiting for a blind date to show
how long has she been without her eyesight i hilariously ask
another pissed man rushes over
“whos the black girl with the teeth?” he breathlessly asks
(can you believe this bullshit?)
whos the black girl without teeth i ask him back
he looks at me as if im crazy…..
i look around n evies leading a gang of kids
running around and carrying on with a good contact high
i summon her over
her cheeks are all red from running n excitement
“calm down eve!’ i order her
sure dad and runs off to start it all up again
we move out to the huge yard dotted with sculptures
a band starts up
its david lane n some local players
wow
the place starts to fill up
i chat distractedly with a stream of people
steve this is my friend from argentina juan
steve this is joe blow from bingbong row
hi im steve….
see ya later man
theres some flyers there for our play
someone points me out to a pissed english prick
he comes over to me
beery winey breath in my face
OH ARE YOU AN ACT-TOR
he heavily stresses the tor bit of actor
not acta but act-tor
as i try to meekly say no, not really
he regales me with bullshit about act-tors
even tho i keep saying “well actually…”
and finally finishes with
MY BROTHER IS AN ACT-TOR, YOU KNOW
despite all this aggravation
when the idiot asks for a tobacco-less joint
i surprise my self with my good naturedness
as i catch myself saying in my best humble aussie accent
“i’ll roll ya one, mate…”
when its done he snatches it away
greedily inhales half of it
gives it back n then ignores me from then on in
well it was a party i guess
you gotta expect to meet “characters” there
i hate some smartass being a “character” at my expense, tho
some drunk whos turned into w.b.yeats after 2 bottles of plonk
whos cornered ya at a bar and waxing all poetic in yer face
but not lettin’ ya get a word in edgewise
jesus that gets my goat
i look around
and see eve has propped a ladder against a high wall
and is leading a gang of kids in an escape attempt
evie !
i yell
she comes over
did i tell you to calm down n take it easy?
yes dad
do ya think climbing ladders over walls is taking it easy?
no dad
bloody be’ave yerself eve or we’ll both get bounced out…
ok dad
i have a little drink of red wine
oohh cheap n ruff
nasty stuff….mmm…i like it
now eve n cohorts have built a long jump
from some panels that may have been a “sculpture”
evie!!!
sorry dad
the dudes blind date turns up
uh oh
he wants me to meet the b.d. n her flatmate both english
the dude tries to tell em who i “am” but they never heard of me
but under the murky way was a hit in england he insists
no it werent ! me n the ladies say
the dude takes me aside
i like the flatmate more than the blind date he whispers
yeah i could see that coming i concur
what should i do ?he asks
(why is he asking me i dont know!)
well i say..
seeing a blind date is just a random blip
and a blind dates flatmate is another random blip
how can one random blip mind if you prefer the other?
yes yes he says but how will i ever split them up now? he asks
i look around
a band of jammers is jammin some jazz
n eve is dancing around like salome
waving her arms like a greek sybil talking to apollo
with her hair pulled back like that she could be a dryad
shes on a huge contact high from the party
n having a whale of a time
auroras gonna be angry she didnt come she calls out to me
finally im just standing there in the garden
in the darkness watching all the people do their things
the jostling n jockeying for position
the guys carrying on like peacocks
the aftershave n the cigarrettes n the booze n the schmoozin’
just older children thats all, after all
suddenly evie runs up looking upset
i couldnt find you daddy
her cheeks are red and shes all hot n sweaty
time to go miss starr i say
shes happy to leave too
and we exit into the warm bondi night
and we discuss the party on the way home
evies still sleeping in as i write this
laid out by her festive exertions
boy shes gonna be a wild party girl when she grows up
i stifle a shudder
well, maybe not
maybe she’ll change….but i doubt it…
anyhow thats it for today
love etc
killer

37 Responses to “watch out, the worlds behind you…”

  1. avatar
    Fandorin | 9 December 2006 at 9:41 pm #

    kildeer,

    > play em the church

    we played her “Invisible” in the fuckin delivery room 😀

  2. avatar
    Thorsten Wilhelm " the Bondi Strangler " | 9 December 2006 at 9:47 pm #

    I vish i knew of zis party SK . I would pee there like I did in your driveway. I take pills and go mad. I am german. I vill peepee anywhere i can……..

  3. avatar
    stealthblue | 9 December 2006 at 9:48 pm #

    HA! Sounds like a scene from a movie, a comedy of course. Nonetheless, it made for some great visuals!

    Yeah, I know what you mean about The Wiggles…they’re a bit “strange.” I also feel the same about Barney and the Teletubbies. I finally convinced my sister to try and somehow convince her two little ones to investigate other possibilities as far as “kiddie educational” shows are concerened. What do I know though? You know, though, even my parents feel the same way, that what we grew up on was a whole other level of “schmalzy education”, but it was certainly better quality and superior. Certainly the old Sesame Street and Electric Company, hell even old Mr. Rogers were a far better cry than a purple pansy dinosaur.

    It has to be hard for kids and parents to really have a choice when everything is so monopolized and choices are so limited. Also, when there are so many other kids “enjoying” a particular show, like say The Wiggles, which is pure hype, no kid wants to be “left out.” They become bombarded, already little victims of mass marketing. I could be wrong, but it is kind of like so many of the shows for kids now are simply babysitters, and most parents don’t even know what the hell their children are even watching They just figure, “Oh, it’s a kids show, it must be good. There are lots of colors and funny songs I am not sure what they are about, but it’s a kids show, it has to be ok.” My sister even verified this, that when she really paid attention to certain shows, it left a lot to be questioned and desired about the integrity of the shows and creators of those shows. So, good for you, Steve, for noticing. Your kids really are very lucky to have a set of parents that are perhaps more keen than others in the upbringing of their children. Which isn’t to say that ALL the modern shows are bad, but which ones are they? To each their own I guess. But I’d say you are on the level and I could not agree more.

    Anyway, really enjoyed hearing about the party. Thanks for sharing. Have a great morning! Peace and love to you and the fam.
    Until next time,
    Ben V.

  4. avatar
    John Garratt | 9 December 2006 at 9:55 pm #

    The Mimesis project…can you tell us what the details are? Like date of release, whether it will be available in the states, so on…

    John

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 December 2006 at 9:59 pm #

    funny stuff sk. and the wiggles, yah, my boy dont watch them. he watches hi-5. can u blame him?? I like to watch hi-5 too …in a wholesome way of course…

  6. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 9 December 2006 at 9:59 pm #

    a portrait of david lane
    *************************
    a wiggle party

    ahhh….if only life’s imbalances were resolved this easily!

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 December 2006 at 10:17 pm #

    Isnt it sad when tix for The Wiggles sell out quicker than the Rolling Stones.

    I can see you as the evil black wiggle who leads kids astray and away from humdrum and the banal, up that ladder and over the wall

    “Evie let your hair hang down” hey? party girl in the making i think sk

    I think it would also be great to one day see you more recognised as an actor or painter over the guy who wrote that song milky way 🙂

    Listening to Hosianna Mantra this morning, really lovely. Apparently there’s a new track in Herzog’s latest movie

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 December 2006 at 10:59 pm #

    sk,
    thanks for the glimpse. now, off to the party (stifles a shudder)

  9. avatar
    damien | 9 December 2006 at 11:30 pm #

    I love it when people casually quote Bowie lyrics!

  10. avatar
    ambnt1 | 10 December 2006 at 12:37 am #

    Steven,

    You gave the drunken idiot some magical talking potion?!! That could have made it worse, but maybe he was too stoned to blather anymore.

    Enjoy your Sunday(ze). I like your musickal selection…

    –Chris

    n.p. Holger Czukay, “Moving Pictures” (Krautrocker in ambient mode)

  11. avatar
    bucks burnett | 10 December 2006 at 12:41 am #

    Okay, here’s an exciting offer; I am now offering a subscription service fir this blog. If enough of you contribute enough money to me every month, I will stop leaving comments in this section. Think about it, it’s a rare opportunity. I don’t accept Paypal, just send it to Steve with your regular subscription offering, and wwhen he tells me there’s enough in the kitty for me to have some, I’ll get on with being very very quiet. Until then, keep enjoying insightful, inspired comments like this one. Thank you.

  12. avatar
    verdelay | 10 December 2006 at 1:07 am #

    Beware, my young lothario-in-short-pants:
    That slice of full-pelt loveliness
    You’re eyeing off
    Has a father
    Who wore the same short pants himself
    once
    upon a time
    and he knows your game, me lad…

  13. avatar
    thorsten Wilhelm " the Bondi Strangler " | 10 December 2006 at 1:13 am #

    I will not give PAYPAL, But I vill surely give you PEEPAL, I am a crazy german!!!

  14. avatar
    isolde | 10 December 2006 at 2:31 am #

    saw a movie yesterday like that party
    killa007 deals with schmoozers dodgy types art nazis and other terrorists at point blank range then reveals inner bricklayer during high speed dangerous site demolishing chases/rescues to break up tedium of godawful script and appalling fashion statements

  15. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 10 December 2006 at 3:02 am #

    that was very tantalizing esskay, but don’t forget bout me portrait of me lady and me by you as well…
    The Jesus & Mary Chain

  16. avatar
    Todd | 10 December 2006 at 3:05 am #

    Nice insight into your life.

    Thanks.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 December 2006 at 5:34 am #

    Umm…can we have a picture please? Of your calves? I don’t think it’s fair that you should taunt us with imagery that you don’t intend to illustrate!!
    Kindly take a picture of them and post it. Or I shall be very, very cross!
    Won’t I, Mr. Flibble?
    Oh, yes, I will. Indeed.
    Off you go now, there’s a lad.

    Signed,
    The Duchess de Cunting

    PS ~ John is lovely.

  18. avatar
    Samosanx | 10 December 2006 at 5:57 am #

    ewww! as the young people say these days; sounds ‘orrible, although the backstage schmooze is a fairly awful experience too, full of syco’s, pyscho’s and record company exec types – obligations. I’m sure all your years in those situations have enabled you to detach.

    The Go Betweens tribute show in Brisbane was really good. Lots of love coming off the stage. Sarah Blasko rocked.

  19. avatar
    davem | 10 December 2006 at 7:10 am #

    Wiggles?
    Never heard of ’em. Mine adore Dr Who. Good stuff. Let’s their imagination soar.
    Why wasn’t UTMW a hit here? Home of nearly all the best music made in the last 40 years (If you count you as one of ours SK)- shouldn’t more of us in blighty have recognised the worth of The Church?
    There was a great post on this blog a couple of days ago about timing being everything. Maybe, in a Donny Mac – Vincent moment, now we’d understand.
    Love you more,

    Dave M

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 December 2006 at 8:18 am #

    At least you had David Lane playing to break the boredom sk! (Will DL ever tour with The Church again, I really enjoyed him live).
    I hope the Church xmas party will be heaps more fun for ya!!
    Can’t wait to see you and mwpiper on Wednesday night, bring a face mask though, the air is thick and smokey from all the bush fires at the moment.

    Love,
    Amanda

  21. avatar
    captainmission | 10 December 2006 at 8:31 am #

    lovely scene ya conjour there steve, i have managed to avoid wiggles so far….so good.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 December 2006 at 9:41 am #

    timing is everything

  23. avatar
    Wil-O | 10 December 2006 at 10:04 am #

    ah Kil-O, the black wiggle … is that a skivvy you’re wearing in your profile picture?

    The hands need work … but I can see the church in kiddieland: Wake Up Tim!

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 December 2006 at 1:04 pm #

    sarah blasko is a gem amongst thieves

  25. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 10 December 2006 at 1:19 pm #

    That party: SO SYDNEY I too got a cold shiver down the back of my spine. Glad to be outa all that.

    Re The Wiggles: the lieetle teensy ones adore them and they’re NOT American and they DON”T teach Australian kids to alphabet with ZEE INSTEAD OF ZED and they kids get UP OFF the coach and buggaloo and sing about fruit salad instead of inflating selves with junk food and although I’m sure they tempt the cynical t grab assualt rifles or would if those people weren’t so totally Ganeshly pacifist and are UTTTERLY AND TOTALLY uncooooooool yet somehow I am glad for said Wiggles innocent post-Cockroach silliness especially for recalled periods of desperate exhaustion when maternal collapse was nigh or housework could be performed safely while Cold Spagetti Western did its thing although surely Wiggledom is a stage once passed to be accelerated away from with exceeding alacrity by increasingly cool and unwiggly older child.

    No offence but surely the next t-shirt should feature your niave painty version of the GOLDEN CALF

  26. avatar
    don joe | 10 December 2006 at 1:54 pm #

    Thanks for reminding me what i am NOT missing out on. Glad you got through unscathed and had some type o’ fun whilst there. Eve’s growing up fairly free of parental restraint which is nice to see.

    Have a jolly monday.

    ML,
    don joe

  27. avatar
    Cameras 4 Eyes | 10 December 2006 at 3:25 pm #

    Spent my Saturday at the company holiday party.
    Went for the free food.
    Ate and left.

  28. avatar
    restaurant mark | 10 December 2006 at 4:07 pm #

    i do play our kids the church! no wiggles here! both of mine go to sleep to music every night…naomi just has a clock radio in her room. i think she’s listening to christmas songs at the moment. now nolan has a cd player so it’s ok computer for him right now. wonder what kind of dreams he’s having? always music in our house though…gotta expose em young! in the mornings when i take them both to school, if i don’t have anything on they just talk and play. but most of the time i have music…lately back with two beats. they don’t say a word…i’ll look in my rear view window and check em out, and they’re just looking out the window and taking the sounds in. real daydream looking state.
    and yeah, pretty sure naomi will be a party girl too…not a shy bone in her body!
    take care.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 December 2006 at 6:35 pm #

    i too have always been uncomfortable with the wiggles – it’s no way for a man to make a living, i don’t know how they can face themselves in the mirror. – pip

  30. avatar
    CSTCoach | 10 December 2006 at 10:49 pm #

    The day that kids arrive at school quoting the disillusionist and other choichy wisdom is the day I regain hope for the human race. Seriously.

    ryan

  31. avatar
    Melquiades | 11 December 2006 at 1:37 am #

    Sounds like a carnival of an evening.

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2006 at 10:58 pm #

    i don’t know how they can face themselves in the mirror. – pip

    By taping their bank account balance right next to the mirror!

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2006 at 11:01 pm #

    One of the best stories I’ve heard regarding parents and music was from this bloke who’s dad would wake him and his sister up to George’s Here Comes the Sun …how sublime is that?
    Chela

  34. avatar
    shutetthan | 11 December 2006 at 11:24 pm #

    god is on top of it… Bowie

  35. avatar
    kurtez | 13 December 2006 at 9:27 pm #

    The Wiggles rock. Wiggle Bay is a classic. And the mermaid…
    I had to shell out a couple hundred buck to see these clowns live in action.

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