posted on August 22, 2008 at 11:03 pm

sydney lashed by violent storms
the rain comes rushing in diagonally
the palms weird in the grey light
people huddle under awnings
puddles form in the mornings
natalie lies sleeping in bed all warm n aromatic
scarlet lies on a cushion in my room
curled up and slightly sad about something
she comes and sits on my lap
muttering something softly
she finds a headless figurine which happens to be on my desk
she regards it with big blue sad eyes
is it any good now her heads gone ? i say
she shakes her big head and gently sets it down
last night dublin frank n janice n marlon
came over for a minestrone soup
ricki rene maymi was also on hand
i was being tested
frank keeps teling me
that crunchie and violet crumble bars are the same
this is the sort of heresy you’d expect from a gaelic type
all puffed up on euros and leprechaun carving grants
but anyway i had set him straight
they are completely different i said
give me the blindfold taste test
so after soupy n salad
out came crunchie bar n violet crumble bar
i was blindfolded
yes yes
come on
and voila
they give me a bit
its crunchie
it dissolves in the mouth all sugary
yep thats a crunchie i say
next i get the violet crumble
its all chewy the chocolates different everything
thats the crumble i say
a big cheer
of course i was right
and you shouldnt bet on a certainty
no one else could get the taste test right
including the wild n glamourous rocker maymi
who couldnt tell a crunchie from a crumble if it bit his ass
the kids all tried
but were more interested in just eating the candy
frank himself tried
got it wrong
and said
theyre completely different
aint that just like a bloody irishman
nk refused the blindfold on the basis it might mess up her hair-do
and scarlet was peeping
and she didnt know or care
she just wanted some more chocky
ricki n frank then went off to jlks
to prepare a future esoteric music club track
and i tried to get tibor the falcon outta the drive
but some idiots had parked us in
janice n young marlon had to walk home
i backed tibor down the drive all angry in the dark
and probably reversed over all the flowers
(down the side of this house this smorning)
after getting the 3 children down to sleep
my wife showed me some new clothes she had bought
(with subscribers generous subscriptions, of course )
and i was quite taken…
maybe that is not the quite the right word
but anyway….
wake up this morning kissing my wife
open my eyes
and there is scarlet watching me mournfully
i thought kids would be happy to see parents kissing
but not little bloody sk
who starts to writhe and groan
real tears!
and everything
just coz daddy kissed mummy good morning
christ! sometimes youre just wrong whatever you do
i get up and take scarlet back in to the doodles
hey evie
i gotta delivery for ya
evie goodnaturedly n half asleep makes room for the woofle
whose kicking n growling like little tassie devil in a trap
she goes into the doodles bed roughly
but they envelope her in their warm sleepiness
and eventually
as i walk back to my room
i hear her protests gradually diminish into silence
believe me
if you wake up early on a saturday
and youre kissing your little sweetie good morning
the last thing you want in yer face
is an angry little moaning woofle
lets see what saturday will bring…
all of you in my thoughts

31 Responses to “water table”

  1. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 23 August 2008 at 12:30 am #

    A nice Saturday blog and I’m really warming-up to the musical luster of Jack Frost. Like great Byrds music and a bit like the Finn Kin.

    ” In the Garden of Eden, in that brief happy period before the Fall, the first man and the God who created him would sometimes converse.
    “Why did you make woman so Beautiful?” Adam asked.
    “So you would love her,”God answered.
    Adam thought about that for a while.
    “Then why did you make her so dumb?” Adam wondered.
    “So She would love you” God said.

  2. avatar
    lily was here | 23 August 2008 at 1:11 am #

    Ah, wrap me up in that cocoon of happiness on a cold wintry morning.

    Ha, even in a choccy debate you have fire in your belly. Thursdays “the soft blue approach of the water” was a gold medal winner, i cried reading that. Love the newest EMC song, that beautiful guitar (who's playing it?) & vocals draws me right in. Are not those lyrics just beautiful, but Zoo42 is still on a pedestal, yah. I heard Under the Milky Way playing in the background on Cold Case too and i dont usually watch it. The lead actresses hairstyle annoys me for some unknown reason LOL

    Hoping for more good news for Elli. That was so beautiful what you wrote for her.

    xxxx take that Scarlet! 🙂

  3. avatar
    lily was here | 23 August 2008 at 1:13 am #

    Well anon, that just ruined the morning. Good on you.

  4. avatar
    ross b | 23 August 2008 at 1:24 am #

    I agree with you re violet c & crunchie…years and years ago i used to wonder if there was any difference between them until one day i came to the same conclusions you elucidate in your blog. I don't eat chocolate nowdays anyway.

    agree with Lily, 'soft blue approach to water' was a stunning piece!

    don'tcha hate getting parked in!? last night i had a bunch of neanderthals yelling and carrying on outside my window.. at 4am i was almost too tired to care.

    still tired somehow

    All the best to you & your family Steve, r.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 August 2008 at 2:29 am #

    wheres the censorship board,or the esp board…hmmm……or just a play for today.

  6. avatar
    Lian | 23 August 2008 at 3:30 am #

    why dont you just go away from here anonymous 12:14? you are not waiting for everyone throw bricks on your bloody head, are you?

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 August 2008 at 4:01 am #

    oh,not here,huh?..

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 August 2008 at 5:47 am #

    MIRROR .

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 August 2008 at 6:28 am #

    hey kilbey,
    don’t worry about the crazy people, they’re everywhere, and believe that they’re always right. Trying to reason with them is a complete waste of time. Dontcha worry, the universe and karma get ’em in the end, when they get run over by a bus or become president of the USA…

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 August 2008 at 6:43 am #

    Is there anything less imaginative than a cheap shot at president of u.s.?

  11. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 23 August 2008 at 7:30 am #

    Obviously I don’t know what’t going on between you and her, Steve, but ïs it really necessary to respond? That’s the only reason she’s writing these comments here.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 August 2008 at 8:19 am #

    I hate to say it sk but i am reminded of “methinks you doth protest too much”

  13. avatar
    Richard | 23 August 2008 at 10:08 am #

    hey eek

    i just noticed that if you turn your little picture upside down it looks like a slightly sad but quite friendly little froggish thing

    sorry! it just seemed like a really good time to lighten the mood

  14. avatar
    Richard | 23 August 2008 at 10:20 am #


  15. avatar
    eek | 23 August 2008 at 10:36 am #

    richard — all I see when I turn it upside down is just sad eyes. 🙁

    I like the pissed off eyes better. 😀

  16. avatar
    eek | 23 August 2008 at 10:40 am #

    I love your blog today. Friends over, the kids chowing down on candy, you and your sweetie…it feels warm and happy. Blissful. Even with Scarlet’s Tasmanian Devil impression. 🙂

  17. avatar
    steve kilbey | 23 August 2008 at 10:54 am #

    anyone just tuning here
    and all the rest of you
    i lost my cool
    i made the mistake before of appearing on here
    and arguing with people
    and i swore i wouldnt do it again
    i am an argumentative person by nature
    and i just took the bait…
    this particular argy bargy wears me down
    i have turned off the anons for a while
    and am hoping that the pest will just go away
    this is one of the downsides of “fame”
    and why i abhor the goss mags
    because there is so much of this stalker bullshit
    even for very mynah celebs som moi
    and also
    i have seen quite a bit of this trip
    in my life
    the scorned person dreaming up a load of bloody lies
    to get back a little spite
    i aint gonna be reappearing on these comments
    to argue anymore
    or anything
    now we will resume our normal program
    please keep your seatbelts fastened
    and no smoking devices have been installed
    tampering with a blog is a federal offence
    and severe fines may apply
    thank you for reading ttb
    we appreciate you have many entertainment choices
    ttb presented by sk
    from an original idea by peter podcast
    made in taiwan

  18. avatar
    princey | 23 August 2008 at 11:22 am #

    Jeezus! Glad it’s all been erased and rid of.
    Loved the blog anyway sk.
    Love Amanda

  19. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 August 2008 at 11:55 am #

    thomas from denmark said: “Obviously I don’t know what’t going on between you and her, Steve, but ïs it really necessary to respond? That’s the only reason she’s writing these comments here.”

    this is sooooo true, steve. and this is why i stopped reading ALL anonymous comments almost two years ago. it’s bullshit and ain’t…worth…anyone’s…time.

  20. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 August 2008 at 12:00 pm #

    now for my commemt today: a chocolate taste test??? why didn’t anybody call me to appear at this event????? did someone say chocolate??? AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

    i wonder why scarlet was sad because you were kissing her mother? kids can be little mysteries sometimes.

    you’re in our thoughts, too. have a good night and sleep well.

    lotza love….

  21. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 23 August 2008 at 12:24 pm #

    hmmm, arrive late and all of the exciting stuff’s over and done with, must have been a doozy whatever it was…
    your little woofle is a tad jealous, methinks, not being the centre of love and kisses and attention, just like my little grace likes to worm her way into the middle of mummy and daddy when we are having a little cuddle before we get up on a sunday morning…
    violet crumbles and cruchies, yep, as different as chalk and cheese alright, it depends on wha you want, do you want the cruch and crumble or the crunch and melting of little granules, hmmm, maltesers, now there’s something worth contemplating, and while we’re at it, what about cherry ripe bars or those chocolate boost bars or mars bars or honey nougat rolls…
    i gotta stop it, i’m salivating…
    love always,
    (terminally addicted to chocolate!)

  22. avatar
    lily was here | 23 August 2008 at 12:39 pm #

    It had to be done Killer. Unnecessary baggage must be ejected & loose items secured for the comfort and safety of passengers. Enjoy the weekend and give Scarlet an extra hug goodnight xxx

  23. avatar
    tim | 23 August 2008 at 1:00 pm #

    eek thanks for the link yesterday..but i see nothing regards “painkiller” anywhere on…starting to get very frustrated with technology at the moment. I’m beginning to think this is all a big joke on moi…is it possible i am that this stupid..someone help please..

  24. avatar
    Lian | 23 August 2008 at 1:25 pm #

    tim, see here:!++

  25. avatar
    Lian | 23 August 2008 at 1:28 pm #

    or go to:

    and then click: Karmic Hit cds: sent straight to your door.

    good luck.

  26. avatar
    fantasticandy | 23 August 2008 at 2:26 pm #

    what the bloody hell’s going on killer?
    just finished a charity gig,(at the venue we were billed as ‘dukes of neptune and it was sponsored by worcestershire sauce!!!!…strange coincidence eh?) so only just caught up with last two days shenannegins……….
    all very entertaining as usual by the way, and then i notice the axe-grinder has been at it again…… and youv’e deleted your own comments this time too!
    it’s a real drag that you have to put up with this kind of thing,
    please DO continue to join us in the comments section,
    i’m sure the rest of the fiends will agree with me on this one.
    your occasonal interjections are witty and fun,
    and there’s nowt wrong with a bit ‘o fun is there?
    hope yer all having a great weekend,
    much love,
    andy L.

  27. avatar
    restaurant mark | 23 August 2008 at 2:30 pm #

    well apparently i missed the drama…good. i’m sure the rest of you wish you did. sorry someone’s trying to piss all over things steve. all i care about is that i missed a chocolate taste test…now i’m upset!!!
    hard to get going this morning…raining here too…a little tropical storm just getting us…sleepy…
    lily…always great comments

    take care and enjoy the weekend everyone

    oh, if anyone’s interested you can go to the verve’s myspace site and hear the whole new record…last night i liked it quite a bit…there’s still the one song where he pulls off his neil diamond thing, but i can handle it i guess…other than that, sounds like a verve record…

  28. avatar
    tim | 23 August 2008 at 3:40 pm #

    thanks lian!

    success at last!

  29. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 August 2008 at 9:46 pm #

    mark, andy~~y’all didn’t miss anything. it was the typical argy bargy bullshit that’s been going on here from that anon asshole that just WON’T take the hint and go away.

    move along folks, nothing to see here….

  30. avatar
    heather | 23 August 2008 at 10:38 pm #

    you are absolutely correct about the crunchie/violet crumble differences …’s the same for vegemite v marmite

    I know what you mean about the hair thing lily


  31. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 24 August 2008 at 3:25 am #

    “i aint gonna be reappearing on these comments
    to argue anymore
    or anything
    now we will resume our normal program
    please keep your seatbelts fastened”



    when the URNE is dropped
    yesterday’s ashes
    scatter with the breeze
    and the JOURNEY
    its destination

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