posted on November 13, 2010 at 8:45 am

in the east a star appeared

come upon a strange child mourning the cities of the plain

oh strange child why do yet cry for wicked mammon

does she not lie in ashes one hundred leagues hence

and all her bones have gone bleach beach white

below the surface under glass

deep in the bubbled marble

in the melted night

my cities crying out

one for the beggarman

one for the thief

one for the sugarman

one for the king

my skull keeps me in

the speed of a dream

i stumble all crumble all feint n fumble

i whirl and i twirl standing so very still

i hang on i bang on

n on n on non

i am not alone here

none of us

we are not alone oh ha ha no no

surrounded by friday night

connected up we all swim in the same sea

voices argue over something stupid

hands manipulate me as if from afar

lips kiss my forehead and then i briefly see

my eyes are seemingly shut

where can i go

voices bickering guffawing whispering

in here where i am

words occur to me from dead languages

i labour in pain i labour in love

i am between body and mind

i am soaked in 2010 and sinking in it

i talk to anyone with a kind voice

outside the shops i am another old stranger

in my pocket the keys that will not let me in

in my hand the coins that do not purchase anything

in my desk the tickets are all void

someone cancels my appointments

someone chucks out my clothes

someone closes and reopens my eyes

i claw at faux pas

i climb my baby fig

sometimes beautiful women seem ugly to me

sometimes my hearts in the wrong place

sometimes i wish i never met you steven

sometimes

36 Responses to “we burn up”

  1. avatar
    PINK CHURCH FLOYD | 13 November 2010 at 9:34 am #

    Oh Kilb’s
    Please don’t be afraid to talk to someone.
    It’s not a sign of weakness but strength.
    We don’t want anything to happen to you.
    I don’t know what else to say.
    But just breathe
    Ange xo

  2. avatar
    andy | 13 November 2010 at 9:36 am #

    melancholic stuff from a guy so loved……
    but you burst the bubble steve.
    the membrane is torn and tattered.
    you took the risk and shed your mansuit.

    it won’t be all pain….
    we feinds are very proud of you.
    you will endure,and the best days are yet to come.
    make those dreams real killer,
    if anyone can…you can.

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 November 2010 at 10:12 am #

    just plain out simple for yourself; nothing fancy and you use your mind to create… and then everybody chips away because they aren’t as frugile with themselves. keep going and tomorrow you’ll be giving, not being taken from

  4. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 13 November 2010 at 10:23 am #

    SK-
    This is a very difficult time for you and the bravery you display by sharing portions of your personal life with us is well received and remarkable. Even though we could pass each other on the street, we would be strangers (WELL actually I would recognize you anywhere and I walk around with my self made BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS t-shirt…so you would know me or run the other way from the crazy person…LMAO !!!), we certainly are not. There are so many caring people, family, bandmates and biz blokes, fans and friends who care deeply for you and your family. We only wish what is best for you, the children and NK…decided by you, the children and NK. So please take care-enjoy this weekend, and heal your soul during this unfortunate period in you and your families lives.

    EVERYONE-
    A month ago I shared some personal information regarding my mother and a major health concern for her and our family. This was not resolved until late last evening here in Chicago. My mother suffered greatly with a very large kidney stone trapped between her right kidney and bladder. After countless procedures, and 4 times being placed under with anesthesia (extremely dangerous for a 70+ year-old woman with clotting issues and high blood pressure), FINALLY a surgeon was able to extract the stone. During this past 30 days, she was in extreme pain and discomfort, high fever, and kidney infection, in and out of the hospital. I took her twice to the Hospital in emergent danger.
    SK wished my mother well, along with many readers of this remarkable site/blog…and I thank all of you-each and every one-DEARLY !!!!
    Again-Thanks SK and all for showing human compassion which is actually so uncommon in this present day and may all of you and your family members enjoy happiness and GREAT health.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    ALSO- the more I listen to the ‘GB3’ disc…the more i love it, i reviewed it in great detail couple blogs ago (go find it people !!!!) and gave it a 8 OUT OF 10 (originally 8.5 out of 10) but now i have to recalculate and issue a 9 OUT OF 10 !!!! Man…that angel can sing-and SK, great AsAlways.
    Great Job SK, everyone needs to hear this excellent piece of art. I am so stoked about a possible upcoming church project.

    • avatar
      Lyndall | 13 November 2010 at 11:30 am #

      So glad your mother is doing well – blessings and a speedy recovery to her. She is very lucky to have such a caring son. All the best. L x

    • avatar
      Donna | 13 November 2010 at 11:32 am #

      Great news!!

    • avatar
      DavidP | 13 November 2010 at 12:10 pm #

      Darrin, I am gobsmacked that your mum had to endure that for a whole month!
      I understand a kidney stone to be one of the most painful things that can happen to a person. Glad to hear your mum is now on the road to recovery.
      Just when we think we have got it bad, there is always someone else who’s got it 100 times worse.

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 14 November 2010 at 2:07 am #

        DavidP-
        I know , i agree…problem was small woman-small organs and beat cancer in ’88 , had radiation treatment at that time and future concerns would be delicate female problems and digestive difficulties- which she has both challenges. Thanks to everyone- LOVE YOU GUYS AND GALS !!!!!

        AsAlways,
        Darrin K.

  5. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 13 November 2010 at 10:30 am #

    My review for the new ‘gb3’ in my opinion, and in detail, is on November 7 “Magnum Hopeless” on this sites archives. GREAT FRIGGIN ALBUM !!!!

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      veleska1970 | 13 November 2010 at 11:16 am #

      i’m happy for your mom and for you. may she have a speedy recovery. <3

  6. avatar
    Karen | 13 November 2010 at 11:00 am #

    wel you dont drink at least ugly women dont appear beautiful to you thats a plus…

    If I was 56 (Ill be 56 in ten yrs) if I survive …Id hope I wouldnt have to deal with dramas Id be past that…Im so over drama & chaos…. two long term relationhips ..and now Im alone have been for a few years oh thats right no ones alone… Id embrace the aloneness and do what that other poster said enjoy the seabreeze and swim ..swim a lot…

  7. avatar
    Karen | 13 November 2010 at 11:08 am #

    and btw Darrin what a caring person you are
    haha @ running away from the crazy peron made me laugh

  8. avatar
    Donna | 13 November 2010 at 11:39 am #

    Steve, (sigh!!) thinking of you, praying for you. Seems like you just need things to come to a stop so you can collect yourself and take stock. One day at a time. Patience. Faith. It’ll be OK. love from…moi

  9. avatar
    princey | 13 November 2010 at 12:00 pm #

    Just promise you won’t kill off Baby Fig, she loves you a lot you know 🙂

    Hoping The Church start rehearsing soon, might take your mind off a few things?

    Take care and love always,
    Amanda

  10. avatar
    Lyndall | 13 November 2010 at 12:04 pm #

    Oh Steve….
    There are sooooooo many people out there who genuinely care about your well-being and can empathise – all sending you love and healing energy. Please embrace the love. Like pink cotton wool, wrap yourself in it. Allow yourself the down-time and space to heal … Walk at thoughts pace. Put your feet in the ocean and cleanse. You have a really GREAT mind and soul… I too truly believe that your best days are yet to come…
    Take care L x

  11. avatar
    veleska1970 | 13 November 2010 at 12:23 pm #

    i’ve been thinking about you all day, steve, wondering how you were doing. andy’s right~~you will endure and the best IS yet to come.
    .
    “sometimes i wish i never met you steven”
    this line is heartbreaking. you’re special and although it’s hard to think that way right now, it’s true that you are. we are really blessed to have you.

    lotza love to you and your fambly.

  12. avatar
    Therese | 13 November 2010 at 12:24 pm #

    Was in Bondi on Thurs and sent the good vibes your way.
    Did the Sculpture by the Sea walk, if u haven’t done it yet it will do u good, take your mind off things.
    Will be counting the days soon to the Church gig, can’t wait, know my brother & sister in law will be impressed, the more new fans the better.
    Keep on smilin sk, you’ve got a lot of support out there.

    Peace & love
    Therese

  13. avatar
    Freddie | 13 November 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    :^( ♥

  14. avatar
    DavidP | 13 November 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    Can be hard to turn off the mind chatter when things are weighing heavy on your mind and heart.
    You get sick of thinking about it, then you get sick of being sick of it.
    I find a way to help break free of that is to focus on what you can physically hear in the present moment, instead of listening to the internal voice. And that then leads into being alert to the other 4 senses in the moment. There is a peace that comes from just being aware in the present moment instead of caught up in the mind and the world of thoughts.
    Although, I sometimes find it hard to know with your blogs what is poetic licence and what isn’t, so hope this post isn’t out of place.

  15. avatar
    Starflower | 13 November 2010 at 1:43 pm #

    Steve, Oh blessed one, keep singing these divine words and this alone will get you into the kingdom of heaven. Little did you know when you wrote that beautiful song, how these three words can be powerful enough to change your
    whole existence. It will bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound. A garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Love always.

  16. avatar
    sarah | 13 November 2010 at 2:11 pm #

    and it is a beautiful burn, indeed.
    what an incredible poet you are…
    stunning. thank-you.

  17. avatar
    hellbound heart | 13 November 2010 at 4:53 pm #

    self-loathing is such an nonconstructive thing to do…..i should know…i do enough of it myself……please don’t forget that there are lots of people here who care deeply about you, me included…….

    love ALWAYS……

  18. avatar
    Linjo | 13 November 2010 at 5:05 pm #

    Fringe dwellers love to love and be loved, but all in small doses and then get back in their little caves of pleasurable solitude!! Hope you are getting great doses of love and some laughs from ole mates Steve!! xxx

  19. avatar
    Kristine | 13 November 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    Once you’re rid of the people who cause drama in your life you’ll be much happier. Then you can move on to a place where you can concentrate fully on your art without any more trouble. I’m just glad I’m a woman because if I were a man I would have to be either gay or celibate forever. There’s no way I’d be able to put up with women and their emotional ways.

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 13 November 2010 at 9:53 pm #

      Kristine, I’m sure you mean well but sometimes the source of drama is someone you love and care about very much. Someone who is integral to your family, not just yourself. You don’t rid yourself of them as if they’re expendable or at least I wouldn’t.

      Sorry, SK. I believe you will be okay. We can’t know your situation or how long it will take to right itself, but it will. Hang in there. Do your thing…

  20. avatar
    andy | 13 November 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    darrin…..phwew!
    what a relief….for you both.
    well done for keeping it together man.

    hellbound…..what the hell are you on about? self-loathing?
    don’t be so daft…your’e ace.
    in fact so is everyone on here, a remarkable bunch i’d say.

    kristine…’trouble’ is an integral part of being alive, without it we aren’t.
    a great weekend to all,
    andy.

    oh….p.s.
    veleska….if anyone knows about endurance you do!…much love to you.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 14 November 2010 at 12:48 pm #

      Thanks Andy…I always read what you contribute to this universe. I know that this cyberspace place is a platform for many to spew garbage sometimes, but there are many dear people gathered together, miles apart, who genuinely enjoy each others company and share insight,advice, and compassion. I know many of you are overseas and plenty of you grace Aussie soil (Summer time must be fantastic there). But we all really are a screen and keyboard away from each other. That is how I met my close friend Ben, aka StealthBlue, who reads and contributes to this blog. In 2006 we found each other sitting across a table at a Church show. Ben and my life mirrors each other, musically, family, and personal enjoyment and difficulties. We have stayed friends and communicate often and live close to each other here in Chicago. My point is that SK has brought so many people together, unknowingly, with his music, art and blog. We are all connected because we are a village, one created from technology, yet simplistic in its subtlety. So…thanks again-to you and all that inhabit this space. My dream would be a gathering, a union of sort- with all of us who are brothers and sisters, friends and blokes…in one beautiful place with SK as our leader, moderator, and purpose for most to even share a though, sentence, or reply comment. That would be the time of our lives and with so many of us, the minutes and hours would feel like seconds. Friends who for some have never met, yet share so much. Again- thanks to everyone. And Andy-have a great weekend “read up on you soon”

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

  21. avatar
    Heather daydream | 13 November 2010 at 10:08 pm #

    I love the title of your pic SK. Classic Kilbey. XXX KKat

  22. avatar
    pennybridge | 14 November 2010 at 12:53 am #

    Sometimes an ordinary gig at a shopping mall can be pure magic, just like this clip from NK(sic!) in Stockholm:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEpusdn5uoA
    Sending you much love and support,

  23. avatar
    david | 14 November 2010 at 2:07 am #

    the drama is the bridge ..we either burn it before we get there ( mistake i think ) after we get there, or even while were on it ..its the litmus , the drama is..do we clap at the end , or cheer , or walk away in tears. no one should be afraid ..ive endured holes here in this heart even mothers love cant touch ..yet im still here ..we are all of us still here .its that stuff that hurts like hell that feeds us ..almost necessary i should think .

  24. avatar
    bionicanna | 14 November 2010 at 2:25 am #

    broadcasting from a transparent cocoon, he awakens dormant luciferase in those of surrounding branches. and we gaze at our changing selves in the mirrors of each other’s faces.

  25. avatar
    davem | 14 November 2010 at 2:54 am #

    I know you’re many miles way but you’re always in my thoughts and at the centre of my life.
    x

  26. avatar
    Tanya | 14 November 2010 at 4:35 am #

    Isn’t frequent melancholy a common thread for those who live, think and create outside the box? It seems to me the more “artistic” (for lack of a less cliche word) one is, the more challenging daily life can be? It can be so mundane, banal, annoying, common, downright boring, especially when one observes so many others accepting it so easily. The drama doesn’t really validate what you really want your life to be about. Sometimes you want to drown in the descent of life’s roller coaster only hoping you can hold out for the ascent of it. But remember the journey and that burning up is a choice, not your fate.

  27. avatar
    Tristesse | 14 November 2010 at 11:50 am #

    Steve does it help to listen to happy music when youre sad or do you find solace in sad songs? xxx

  28. avatar
    Lady Di | 14 November 2010 at 12:21 pm #

    Hope you’re feeling a bit better sk and tomorrow even better than today.
    I’m so excited about seeing the church again soon. Still hope to catch a solo sk show sometime in the near future.
    Just loving GB3 too, it’s impossible to choose a favourite at this stage.

    Thinking of you
    Love Di

  29. avatar
    Starflower | 14 November 2010 at 1:46 pm #

    I read today that iOTA just threw his TV out, saying he believed it was “poisoning his mind”. Good one iOTA. We all need to get back to a simpler way of living. Whenever life is starting to drag you ‘down under’ go on a media fast. No TV, No Radio, No Newspapers and poaaibly no blogging, though we do love to hear from you.


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