posted on December 24, 2009 at 4:39 am

i called out to the mrs
i said duckling i guarantee this is the worst thing you ever saw
what do you mean says the mrs
i mean the worst rocknroll thing imaginable
the mrs chuckles
its a tall order
we both think of all the shockingly AWFUL things we ever saw
i think of all the hair n metal bands
i think of all the schmaltzy boy band tripe
i think of all the “sexy” girl band tripe
all the tedious macho rap
still this is the grande cahuna of awful
not awesome but awful
my wife thinks of air supply….yes theyre pretty awful
but not as awful as this..
she says poison
but thats not as awful as this.

anyway i have to say
i assure you this is the worst
the most awkward silly thing
look i know a silly thing
ive been in plenty of em
you can see em on youtube i’m sure
tacky hopeless tuneless rubbish featuring moi
still this is beyond my many glaring faux pas
now look
i have no axe to grind with this artist
i have felt neutral
never begrudged their huge success
i dont understand heavy metal or whatever it is
i of course sound reactionary when i say its all been done before
and much better
modern heavy metal bands or whatever it is
go through the motions that sabbath, purple n zep et al invented
therefore they can never compete with the originals
because the originals were…errr…original
n theyre not
the modern ones got all the accoutrements
why not
rock is theatre
why expect authenticity?
so there you go
i stumbled across this on tv in perth a few weeks back
i was watching with mr ricky
we both immediately agreed this was the absolute nadir
the most out of tune
inappropriate
buttock clenchingly embarrassing thing ever in rock
by a big band anyway
i will be delighted if my readers can point me in the direction
of something else as bad
i do not say everything else this artist has done is awful
i saw him on telly one night on the quiz show
and he was pretty ok i thought within this genre i guess
so i was surprised to see this
check it out on youtube
wolfmother doing wuthering heights by kate bush
it doesnt matter that i am a huge kate bush fan
or that i recently had the audacity to cover hounds of love
with my olde n gruesome band the crunch
nope
i’ll let you be the judge
i felt like i was at someones birthday party
and suddenly the host had talked his son into playing a number
a curly haired young aussie geezer
sandwiched between 2 bearded blokes
who strum away miserably on their guitars
murdering the songs subtlety
and looking downcast
presumably in embarrassment
looking like they wish the fuck they were somewhere else
or at least that they coulda talked him outta doing it
and there is mr wolfmother himself
earnestly singing these words” its me i’m kathy”
in some key known only to himself
warbling straining struggling
oh gosh
i guess i go on about containing contradictions and
reconciling opposites
so is that what he’s doing?
go check it out on youtube
theres a few to pick from
lemme know if you think this is the worst moment in rock
or if not
what is?

47 Responses to “worst bloody thing you ever saw”

  1. avatar
    don joe | 24 December 2009 at 6:16 am #

    i got to a minute………im glad i dont sit in his head.

    ML,
    don joe

  2. avatar
    matthew | 24 December 2009 at 6:19 am #

    I saw it on Triple J TV. I assumed it was a kind of tongue-in-cheek tribute type thing… I actually liked their interpretation! And that's saying something considering I detest everything else they've done! Oh well, I don't fit the survey… next! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2009 at 6:33 am #

    oh, steve that was bad, please wolfmother retire. cheers colin

  4. avatar
    cazziem | 24 December 2009 at 7:39 am #

    Well, I visited YouTube, and I TRIED to listen to it. However, priding myself on having a musical ear, I could only endure the first 52 seconds! My Mum always used to hate my love of Soft Cell, but I donโ€™t think Marc Almond was ever this bad!!!

  5. avatar
    eek | 24 December 2009 at 8:09 am #

    Ouch. That is pretty damned bad.

    What a horrid voice.

    On a little different note — hope everyone has a merry/happy/at least tolerable Christmas/holiday/solstice/just another day/whatever! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. avatar
    melissa | 24 December 2009 at 8:12 am #

    oh my god, are you kidding me?!?!?!?! wolfmother doing WUTHERING HEIGHTS!!!!!!

    NOO WAY!

    I don't even want to search it out and look, it sounds awful enough, just thinking about it.

    I am still trying to get over those two horrible people covering 'don't give up' by beautiful Kate and Peter Gabriel (shannon noll and whatsherface).

    It should be against the law to cover Kate Bush. Except for the Church, of course ๐Ÿ˜›

    grrrr .. now it's put me off my vegie stir fry I made for dindins.

    ๐Ÿ™

  7. avatar
    Anakki Mayhem | 24 December 2009 at 8:19 am #

    omigod
    i listened to the version live @ the coronet in london…
    i like metal
    i like kate bush
    but that woz awful
    truly farken awful
    my ears may never recover
    lolz
    i also found the acoustic triple j like a version of it & that one is kinda ok…

    the church version of hounds of love ROCKS & i like it better even than kate's original! ๐Ÿ˜€ juz like the church did simon & garfunkel's i am a rock better than simon & garfunkel did! i never liked simon & garfunkel but i loved the version of i am a rock on sing songs! ๐Ÿ˜€

    xo

  8. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 24 December 2009 at 9:48 am #

    Well of course it was bad.

    yet, what i find most offensive in these here revelation days of rock.
    (and i ain't talkin' something that is revealed).

    more biblical,end of days, harbingers of the apocalypse audio/visual tripe.

    it is the medley.
    the fucking medley.

    the 'i am too fucking thick to even listen to your pop song in it's entirety'
    i must have all of your hits reduced to 1 chorus, 1 verse, and on to the next forgettable hit.

    imagine, if you will, the church medley…

    'the unguarded milky way tantalizing your metropolis while rippling a feel in two places at once while i comedown in Louisiana
    as numbers play a song in space,
    easy?'

    no, that shit is regodamndiculous.
    i blame the ringtone and commercials.

    still, the kids seem to love it.

    -glynnis

  9. avatar
    fandorin | 24 December 2009 at 10:12 am #

    i can think only of one more inappropriate thing, and this might be Antony & The Johnsons live at Folsom Prison, a fictitious album living only in my wildest nightmares.

  10. avatar
    fantasticandy | 24 December 2009 at 10:32 am #

    that was excruciating!
    i knew they were dull,plodding and derivative…….
    but this?
    when crud like this gets applause from a full house it ceases to be funny……
    perhaps it's all part of some greater plan?
    if i didn't think in these terms i'd go postal!
    yours,
    lord lee.(rt. hon.)

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2009 at 10:39 am #

    horrible it is. you might prefer this version, even though it's absurd:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSed1K-QNMc

    mime

  12. avatar
    Ceiltsei | 24 December 2009 at 11:23 am #

    I find it very strange that a band like Wolfmother would want to cover Kate Bush. Placebo covered this exact song a few years back and it wasn't bad, but this just bonkers.

    About the whole metal bit, it is an acquired taste and requires a certain motion of the mind – dare I say violent or intense emotion. Blah to the hair metal though.

    Something worse you say? I could find enough to make your skin crawl off and scamper into the shoebox under the stairs.

    Cheers.

  13. avatar
    kokky | 24 December 2009 at 11:33 am #

    hehehe, a miserable mistake
    they probably lost a bet or something
    but why is Mr.Wolfmother singing he's Kathy so embarrasing in itself?
    Granted, it's nowhere near as grandiose as when Andrew Eldritch sang Dolly Partons lines of 'Jolene'..
    "please don't take my man, just because you can", with that exaggerated, deep goth voice of his.

    it's also true him wallowing about like a drunken footie hooligan (waving his hand.. ouch), doesn't do the part any good.
    He probably ought to be practising without audience for some years, but he'd probably benefit in the end from excavating a bit of Kathy from his glacier of blokeism.

  14. avatar
    ross b | 24 December 2009 at 12:28 pm #

    the singer's obligatory beer-swig prior to croaking…nice touch (*giggles*)

    it's a dirge, but very funny to watch! the axegrinders are more like gravediggers aren't they..

    I'd suggest that Motley Crue could be worse but I've never seen Motley Crue or listened to them intentionally but I've read about them and they seem appalling.

    I'm going through another big Church faze at the mo and all I want to listen to is you, baybee! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. avatar
    matthew | 24 December 2009 at 1:23 pm #

    I haven't seen any concert versions – just the rather understated acoustic triple j one. I might be erring on the positive side therefore… will have a hunt as soon as I recover the internet cable from my net-ensconced teenager.

  16. avatar
    gavgams | 24 December 2009 at 2:07 pm #

    Pretty bad all right.
    But have to say the cock rock genre is right up there… Guns and Roses.. Sweet child of mine and knocking on heaven's door (15 mins or more?) … for starters (when the best you can be is bogan)
    And what about the quesey Eminem?
    Hey.. SK? has your mate Kyle ever released anything? Bound to stink.

    One thing about all Church records is all have great things about them. A Church record will never be a waste of money.

  17. avatar
    Roadie J | 24 December 2009 at 3:13 pm #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpV5InLw52U

    i believe this to be the lowest point in music… and also quite funny…

    J

  18. avatar
    matthew | 24 December 2009 at 3:33 pm #

    Hmmm, well I watched a couple of clips… admittedly I wasn't physically there at any of them!

    The sound quality at the official-radio-type gigs was naturally better than the rest.

    But, I still think Wolfmother's kinda ironic approach holds up for me. YES, of course they're not Kate Bush! But it's a deliberate fun, fan tribute approach to a fondly remembered childhood music video (as admitted by the Wolfmother's singer Andrew Stockdale).

    Me – I say, go! Do it!

    For me, the solemnly-strummd guitars really enunciate the song's original amazing chord progression even more, creating awareness of the otherworldy nature of the song. …And enhancing what I possibly may have missed during Kate's pooncing about in the fields in leotards. HEY! I was thirteen.. ok?

    I LIKE THE VERSION!!

    the end

  19. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 December 2009 at 4:43 pm #

    YIKES!!!

  20. avatar
    John Garratt | 24 December 2009 at 4:47 pm #

    So, this is your Christmas gift to us? Thanks a million!

    You're still hilarious when you describe "tripe" though.

    John Garratt

  21. avatar
    robertmadore | 24 December 2009 at 5:32 pm #

    The big haired gentleman may have an issue with the drink…the mind goes you know…

  22. avatar
    Craig Miller | 24 December 2009 at 5:45 pm #

    Well, Village Voice recently picked Counting Crows cover of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" as the worst song of the decade, and it's hard to disagree.

  23. avatar
    Mr. Argent | 24 December 2009 at 6:03 pm #

    @Fandorin,

    That's a bloody, scary nightmare. Is Rufus Wainwright opening or the main act?

  24. avatar
    A. Kite | 24 December 2009 at 6:10 pm #

    Happy Christmas to you and your family, Steve. And may I also say Happy Christmas to the faithful throng of TTB followers.

  25. avatar
    cazziem | 24 December 2009 at 6:11 pm #

    Just wanted to say that I had a look at the link posted by anon at 9:39 PM and quite enjoyed it. Of course, typical me I then had so see what else theyโ€™d done and came across this one which I have to admit it isnโ€™t awful itโ€™s amazing. SK youโ€™ll know that when it comes to writing there are only about 7 or 8 genres, well I have the same belief when it comes to music and baselines. To prove my point, take a look at the link below, which is another performance by the Ukulele Orchestra, but the truly interesting part kicks in about 3:30 into the performance. All Iโ€™ll say is Handel sure has a lot to answer for!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P1-UvqdD7o&feature=related

  26. avatar
    davem | 24 December 2009 at 6:18 pm #

    Will have a mooch at that later.
    In the meantime just popping by (as I indulge in a nice bottle of vegan red) to wish you, your family and all your fiends a very MERRRY CHRISTMAS!!
    x

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2009 at 8:13 pm #

    Found the Church in Rolling Stone's "Encyclopedia of Rock" (third edition). They listed everyone's birthdates as 1959! They left out a load of great bands, and left in a ton of rubbish ones. Typical American rock mentality.

  28. avatar
    Ellen | 24 December 2009 at 8:42 pm #

    YIKES!!!

    Actually, I'm glad you invited us to take a look – I really needed a good laugh today.

    And I LOVE how Kate Bush sings that song, but this? Yeoooozzza!

    What WERE they thinking?

  29. avatar
    Ellen | 24 December 2009 at 8:43 pm #

    That was SO bad it was good. Great parody. Oh wait! You mean, they were serious!?! LOL!

  30. avatar
    Belfrank | 24 December 2009 at 9:17 pm #

    I knew it was Wolfmother before I got to that part ๐Ÿ˜‰
    They suck badly.
    Even this Alan Partdige medley of Kate Bush is better. (sorry about the advert)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJbjAwvRWLs&feature=fvw

    Happy Crimbo SK!

    Belfy

  31. avatar
    BFd | 24 December 2009 at 9:21 pm #

    Focus Wins!!!! Too fkn funny!

  32. avatar
    restaurant mark | 24 December 2009 at 9:26 pm #

    i'm gonna say yuck without hearing it. i'll give it a listen here in a bit. just wanted to say merry christmas to you and your family, as well as all here.

    take care everyone
    mark

  33. avatar
    matthew | 24 December 2009 at 10:14 pm #

    …ahaha! Yes thanks anon 9:39 for the Uke Orchestra version! That puts a lot into perspective. Especially "Billy Shears" right at the end! Classic.

  34. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 24 December 2009 at 11:42 pm #

    dunno, am being forced to listen to the country music channel on pay tv at the moment while my nephew's got guns n roses on his i pod dock…..is this getting close?

    merry christmas all…..

  35. avatar
    Billy | 24 December 2009 at 11:57 pm #

    That's Bad!! But you have not had your ears truly assaulted until you've heard Warren Zevon and REM's(aka Hindu Love God) cover of the Prince song Raspberry Beret. Not a fan of Warren or Price but the song is truly an abomination………

  36. avatar
    Jasperina | 25 December 2009 at 12:13 am #

    Enjoying Festivus for the rest of us… here in Sydney town. Baking biscuits yesterday in the blaring heat and making roast veg bake today. Did enjoy the Wolfmother version of Kate. Kate who is a goddess to me and that fro boy trampsing all over the sacred moors of wuthering heights I had to avert my eyes from the screen now and then cos it was embarrassing. Badly outta tune and all awkward and gawky but it did make me laugh that they were given it a go. Sending out a swirl of good vibes to you, your family and all the friends of TTB.

  37. avatar
    the Field Note | 25 December 2009 at 5:12 am #

    You have to see this:

    Magma "Otis":
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrMKtulK6aM&feature=related

    Don't give up until you get to the 1:38 mark… It's off the frickin charts!

  38. avatar
    meh | 25 December 2009 at 9:08 am #

    I know it's a day late, but I just had to uh…..

    ohmy…

    How high would these guys had to have been to think this was anywhere near a good idea?

    But the Ukele Orchestra of GB's version is tippy-toppy!

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2009 at 9:48 am #

    I'll quote something I watched on a film: "Kate Bush is rolling over in her grave and she ain't even dead yet". Anyway, I've seen worse rockin' things from the country where I belong.

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2009 at 1:41 pm #

    Cant bring myself to listen to it, but it does remind me of a clip I saw on youtube with Mike Patton chatting away at Lollapalooza about his various side projects when the sound of Wolfmother on a nearby stage catches his attention.
    Just search for Mike Patton Wolfmother.

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 December 2009 at 6:05 pm #

    Looks like CarrotTop mated with the Planet of the Apes !

    bloody awwwfulll!

    The haircuts (or lack of em) still isnt enough to distract ya from the torture!

    ; )

  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 12:20 am #

    Sir, respectfully I would argue that anything Antony and the Johnsons has done is more embarrassing than this.

    -mangould

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 10:06 pm #

    Rick Astley is pretty bad…

    Trout

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    But the live Wolfmother YouTube WH thing sucks, (I couldn't get through the whole video) I tip my hat to you SK

    Trout

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 December 2009 at 3:07 am #

    and the worsty of it all is all the young dumb C*nts raving about how great and cool Woolymammoothairmother is…. God,I sounds like our parents complaining about our 80s staple bands… lol~~

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 December 2009 at 11:54 am #

    check out something called "crabcore"… attack attack, brokencyde…. worst shit EVER!!! it is the end of all music and art…. i warn you, you will want to stab you ears…

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 January 2010 at 7:30 am #

    nice post. thanks.


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