we imagine the long excruciating journey

by cart by horse by ship by foot

trudging in the dust of a caravanserai

the cold dawn and the empty coast

in a sky much younger than ours a reflection a mirage

to find purpose within the desert night and find something to eat

premonition indistinguishable from memory then

from now on each step is cautious and light

the whispering sands the murmuring stones

the grunting stunted trees

because the boy can hear the voices of everything

and all things do cry out to him

and the moon pulses through closed eyelids

bringing its usual pale nightmares outlined in the faintest pink glow

the twisted old devil man why cant he leave me alone..?

stumble ahead into storms on the red sea and on white mountains

snow swirling and slowly whirling now youre hypnotised and lost

at night we camped by the lotus pools and lagoons of some dead sultan

the fruit was delicious and easily plucked from the deserted orchards

but see the ghosts and colour them hungry

plunging into a green river filled with black crocodile

and then dislocated and dreamy in a white graveyard where you stopped and prayed

you heard one of the voices of god so clearly but then maybe it was gone

the clearest heavens remain silent it was wishful thinking

the rain and  we understand again

then the woman who took you aside in a kings great hall

and lay with you in sweet chambers of some new sin

then you knew how hard and easy life can be

when the sun rose in the sky the next day for you smiling

you felt pleased to wash it all off in parthian baths

and those who accompany you talking in pali and bengali

and the generosity of the one lord and lord buddha his incarnation

and as we begin to understand the sublimity of spirit

sacred heart of night burning on then in the indian evenings full of swans and flowers

lovely golden youth so blue against the brown water

the riddles of existence hammering and unanswerable in our dimension

the mind is conquered by the heart and the heart by the spirit

the opposite wave of love cancelling out any attack

soothing saintly eyes we imagine them filled with tears

compassion crushing down like a sorrowful gravity

feeling it inch by inch and ounce by ounce and then fathom over fathom

in the fields watching the farmers breaking their backs in long hot summer

and monsoon afternoons in the city in a kitchen

as you sat at a table drinking wine and eating a yellow dhal

with monks and lamas and priests of old gods

and you learnt that all is vibration

and you learnt to yoke yourself to the universe

and you studied the vedas and you practiced devotion

and you chanted in sanskrit and apprehended krsna and radha

and you realised love is the way

the only way

beyond indulgence beyond asceticism beyond intellect beyond power

seeking god in vibrant jungle and outlandish temple

and in the soldiers and in the merchants and in the slaves of kings

in paintings in books in word and always in song

and slowly and painstakingly

you became a rishi,  a yogi and a great magician

and your beautiful face turned towards home

as it became apparent

what you  had to do