in the darkness before i was born

in the oblivion that spawned me whole

again and again

to sing to steal to hammer my bass

where the vortex sucked

and the whirlpool engulfing

before i was me

before i was you

before i was all of them

in a moment of capture

in the high resolution of the first rays of knowledge

as the magic attacked my bones and i lost my mind

and i lost my mind at a servo

and i was swimming in the blackest sea

and stuff was grabbing at my legs

and women were slapping me around on the end of my leash

and the eternal eludes us of necessity

and the impermanence of absolutely everything you can name

it was lovely to sink into it all

they were singing lovely music in my ears as i sank fathoms

it was my dream it was my life it was all made up

and yes i was earnestly hemming away the evening of silk

and i was moving away from the light of the day

and i was fixed on a star and set over the city gates

and the people at my shows shook all their heads

anxiety was riding high on a roll

the lightning jabbed the horizon

the thunder fell down on coogee beach

where the shadows are suntanned

and within the whispers you can hear the sea

the summer had us by the scalp

and the hairdresser did the blonde streaks with a sneer

and the magazines were so way out of date

and the cigarette smoke curled like a beggar around a coin

the screeching tyres and seagulls on arden street

its a fish n chips kind of night

i glide on the wheels of imagination

through the surging crowds who have come to guffaw at the cafes

and their little dogs who startle and yap

and some powerful ferrari throttled round the car park

and the gardens with fresh laid sods withering underfoot

and i wandered to your door where you stood with a candle

and your door was blue like my eyes

and the paint was white like my beard

and your skin was browner than my skin

and your soft tread and we walked down your hall

and your room smelt of the rain and the storm

and it was 100 degrees that night

when suddenly the rain came down again

whipped across the sea by some infernal monsoon

we smoked your drugs and i played your guitar

i wrote 3 songs on the spot and forgot em all

and i sat in the banana chair on your balcony being splashed ever so gently

you were on the phone to your mother

yes yes it was christmas eve

i remember the way you touched my face

and said ‘one day this will all be gone’

it was only a film they were making advertising the new melancholia

we were actors being paid to pretend to be here

we never met

they added us on much later and separate

i was the audience and i applauded myself

the lights came on i was here in my bedroom

in the light of my computer my freckly skin shudders

im writing a story to amuse some anonymous reader

my clothes are a mountain strewn on the floor

i have codeine and sleeping pills on the black table

perfect stranger asleep in bed

a garish shaker bought for 3 dollars

headphones and receipts and the relics of another life

getting slower and slower with the weight of the years

getting dreamier and dreamier as i wade towards the end

as the sea pool closes its doors for another day

and somebody likes a photo i posted

and somebody listens in to all our thoughts

and somebody else doesnt know or care about anything we do or say

and somebody else is obsessively hunting us all down

and the voice in another room is silent

and the piano by the shore is saying something more

the huge sweep of the vaulted night marbled by clouds

i walked in the lamplight by the sea

searching for Echo who taunted me