meanwhile
in a reality not far from here
our humble hero sk
and his boyish sidekick, jc
are planning their next attack upon showbiz
and its cast of imbeciles and pigs
jc is a small elfin man with dark hair and a sly grin
sk is tanned with a white beardy
jc (in heavy transatlantic accent)
so, olde wrocker, time to launch our next sonic assault
sk(an awful cross between aussie bricklayer and pommie twit)
not so fast olde pal….so many cretins left unmoved
despite our knockout manifesto and our gangbustin’ reviews
jc
here are 2 new cds full of esoteric guitars
full of obscure basses
full of distant plaintiff pianos
full of drum loops that will blow down the kingdom of the “straights”
sk
eh, whats that about fuckin dire straits?
jc
tis true, the sonic wars have taken a toll on thy hearing

meanwhile
some where in an office
in hollywood
in paris
in london
in sydney
the “straights” are getting worried
fat evil record exec w/beeer gut + w/gold chain (hes a cancer):
sbeen a long time since izzydore launch that last sonic assault, henchmen
i dont know if i can handle another cd of ambiguous lyrics and nonobvious music
i can feel it comin in the air, if not tonite, then soon
(small nasty a+r man in suity and gelled hare):
but, god lord, you dont mean……
exec:
yes boys, i dunno if the remaining big 3 can take another shocke like that…
those songs….they were so goddamn mellifluous
they were nauseatingly vague
they were stultifyingly amorphous
goddamm it!!
i want those 2
DEAD OR ALIVE
LATER ACROSS TOWN
SCENE INSIDE DUNGEON
sk and jc are being mercilessly subjected to
abbyssmal tripe via hard wired into brain speakers
theyre blasting fuckin’ (insert name of band here)
direct into sks frontal cortexian lobes
jc
jesus, sk cannae take that music in such doses, you’ll frie
his freakin brains!!
fat evil smalmy record exec w/key to vip bathroom + special parking spot:
ha ha this is the end of this dynamic duo…
izzydoor will not be back to plague the mightee konglomerats
nor will their winsome fair set people free from the shackles of the gossip rags
from enthrallment with empty celebrity
ignoring the great achievements of man
we will focus the proletariat
on meateating
on hounding their celebrities
on sports
on cigarettes
on booze
on preskription fuckin drugs baybee
here take yer bleatin’ valium, ya little sucker…
and then the big 3 ‘ll become the big 2
and then….
guess what…..?
yes, thats right, people
the bigge 1
THE BIG ONE
READ AS
THE ONLY ONE
and then we’ll eliminate all that messy variety y’all
got now
and you’ll have to listen to (insert name of pea brains here)
and (insert name of schmaltzy gurly here)
and(insert name of boozy gruff old shouter here)
and (insert name of pale pommy indy fops here)
and…..
oh mi god
sk and jc have escaped during mah mono log
jesus
perhaps the world aint seen the last of izzydaur aftah all…
SCENE KH LUXURY MOBILE REC UNIT
SOMEWHERE IN BAHAMAS)
sk
pass me another pina colada jc
and fire that sucker up
i feel an iconoclastic monster abrewin’ in my head….

(HUSKY VOICEOVER MANNE)
yes, thats right, folks
wherever ever
you find true rock
and true roll
and the need for
a coupla dudes with neat riffs
and ye olde koole lyrics
there yondah shall ye find
IZZYDOOR # 2
coming soon
and this time
its personal!!!