so im driving down the roady
i gotta my little family
stuffed into my brother jlks little car
we’re driving home from nannas
evies got tonsilitis
shes got a fever of 153 or sumpthin
shes sitting in the harsh glare
of the australian sun
trapped in the corner
hemmed in by baby bouncer
in her car seat
little evies moaning and wriggling…
now although the back seat has the full
brunt of the sun
up ahead
about a mile away
is the biggest blackest meanest nimbus cloud
spittin’ twin layers of lightnin’
identical everytime
like in a rorsach test
(or whatever)
two vivid forks of energy
thats gonna blow yer mind
and behind that
is a sky
emptying itself inside out
rainin’ n pourin’
the a/c is freezing me
my hands and long skinny nose
are like ice
(my nose is always red
from sunburn
or cold
my dad said i should get a job as a stop light)
but the back seat is calling for more cold
nk and i both fiddly widdly with the controls
im thinking
at least it cannae get any worse
suddenly the backseat is screaming
theres a bee or a wasp in the car
a big black shape darts around the cabin
everytime they all scream
my heart jumps up higher in my throat
and my driving falls apart
lighting striking to the port and starboard
i kidd thee not, fiend
we heard the zitch
we smelt the smell
that the air has
when the bolt has eaten up all the
blah blah molecules
our hair on our bodies stood up on end
then a peal of thunder…
a peal…?
this was more like the drum of doom
some quiet part of me
way down deep below the anxiety and hysteria
is going
wow this is just like clark griswald
as played by chevy chase
i mean
im shooting down this highway
at 110 kmh
the suns roasting the back
rain and lightin lashin the front
and a crazed bee
a sick childe
a carful of screaming ninnies
cmon
bring it on
we did get home safe and sound
thank you to all concerned
evies been to the quack
auroras got it too
and baby bouncer is
lying around
smiling and dreaming
like nothing has happened
oh yeah
i did my screen test
im in
if i want it
they want me to play
an english immigrant
who grows up in aust
becomes a minor pop star
has a minor hit in america
gets on ye olde gear
and is eventually redeemed
by making some goode music
and becoming a bloggstar

i dunno
i think its an unlikely story
i dont think the publics gonna
really warm to that
anyway
if they offer me
another cuppla million
i may consider
playing the twilight years
if nothing else is going on

apart from all that tripe
i saw the kaiser chefs on rage
as charismatic as a sponge
maybe i am just too olde
the guy with the hat
looks like a right gooseball

well if its getting to that level
it must be time for me to be on my way
i will be back real soon
with the real truth
until then
aloha
sk