you cant go thru
but we have this
im sorry that doesnt get you thru
but what about this
no thatll get you thru up there but not here
but it got us thru back there..
thats back there, this is here
who is your supervisor
im talking to him now
what does he say
he says he doesnt know
what can we do then
you can wait over there
but we need to get in
thats not my problem….

oh well
the land of red tape
rools n reguulations
hello im george the public servant
im getting paid more than you
to stride around talking into this headset
peppering the conversation
with things like:
negative
copy that
roger blue foxtrot
we got 11 longhaired friends of jesus
in a chatreuse micro-bus

we meet at least a thousand of these dudes
they got shiny bums everywhere
(thats what we call public servants)
hey the big top head honcho is here
he approaches us
we shake hands
hes a nice guy actually
he got us in for this gig after all
but a shiny bum next to us
says into his headset to whoever
i got harry the head honcho here at the stage
harry gets angry
who you telling that?
cant i go anywhere and just talk without all that?
the shiny shrinks away obediently, suitably chastened
a ha ha ha
you gotta love it
they got thousands of guys
runnin’ everywhere
all kinds of giant props
costumes
actors
dancers
performers
the crews
the techs
the volunteers
we run thru our number
ok im impressed
everyone lookin’ around
slappin’ each other on the back
tp sufferin nasty lacerations to his nose
seriously cut bruised n twisted
what happened tp i say
you takes my arm and smirks
you should see the other guy…
now i have NEVER seen a more patient
peacelovin’ man than tp
he will go to xxtra ordinary lengths
to be calm
even as chaos erupts around him
one morning we were in the middle of nowhere
in mid america
one of the states that begins with i?
we had just stayed the nite in an awful establishment
everyone was tired angry and emotional
we are travellin in 2 cars
tp mwp and roadies
and me and pk and tour mannyger
tp comes over to our car
he says wanna get breakfast here
we say no
weve eaten
drive on

he goes over to other car
they so no
eat
stay
we hungry

tp comes back over to us
we say definitely no
lets go
no eating now

tim silently walks away into middle of car park
both cars watching him
he screams at the heavens
FFFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!
then silently walks off

i wish i had his patience
anyway
i wonder if he’s nailed some ratbag?
attacked by a possum?
injured by a rogue cymbal?
i guess he’ll say when he’s ready
boy, that make ups gotta hurt
when it goes on that cut tho…

people
last night
this city was going wild
there were giant fish in the river
lit up with coloured lights
kids running thru fountains
warm wind
black hot night
about 34 i’d say
people everywhere
playing
juggling
kissing
fighting
strolling
ambling
staggering
limping
olde bags done up to the nines
reclaimed dockland area
now nouveau sparkly upgraded
japanese and italian restauranty
people eating at outdoor places
cruises going up n down the river
lights red and blue and black river
it could be anywhere
anytime
wild
exciting
a little sad
i amma lone in this big crowd
i walk for hours
exhilarated by the night and the people
it was lovely fiendsss

oh yeah i dipped my hand in the pool
its heated up like bathwater
nice temp for the germs to do their laps
whats the point
water should be cold
especially when its boiling hot out side
what a lame brain idea
do yer laps in there
and afterwards yer gonna feel reel strange
a word to the wise guy
choose cold
avoid this tepid muck
chemical luke warm piddle pool
but gee
it sure looks nice

hey guess what fiendss
i gotta go back to mah gig
we gotta run over some stuff
i wanna be denied entry
by some uniformed gooseball
and then see him shrivel
when the controller blasts him
for keeping the headline talent
outta his own adressing room
oh well
cant be two careful
now listen
all this is jus’ fer you guys on here
dont blabbe about this to ANYONE
just read it
and
forget it
don’ get me inna trubble now
willya?
discretion is needed
dont make me send round tp to yer house!
bye
sk
on her majesties secretive service