i dont know
i dont care
im all sixes n sevens
which other turkeys should be in my sights?
that rogue from yessaday got off light
which hero should i be lavishly praising?
who should i grovel to?
who should i lambast with bitter spleen?
who should be ignored?
who should be mentioned?
and who are you reading this twaddle?
whats in it for ya?
so yer interested in my back pages, are ya?
oh i wish i could give it ya
in one huge download..
the whole fucking lot
you pay me, say 500 bucks
then…
got no recollexion
i mean huge blank chunks
oh mi god
what did i do in those blank chunks?
did i murder someone?
did i write the greatest song ever
n immediately forget it?
did i turn into a dragonfly
and fly into the light?
what details were lost in the drudgery of addiction?
the funny stuff seems funnier that it was
the scary stuff was much scarier than seems
the glamourous stuff was more ordinary
the boring stuff was a lot more tedious
and its all over
the inviolate past
you cant touch these memories
i cant touch them either
a quarter of a century since i saw nick ward
almost fifteen since jay dee last played w/ us
what is my story?
a traffic accident with 15 different p.o.v.s
a buncha “you said that….no, i didnt”s
a whole loada people taking the credit
avoiding the blame…
“i tried to warn im”s
blah blah
autocrashbiography
dont believe everything ya read
even if you wrote it yourself
what is a fact?
search me
you order a bunch of old rockers vignettes?
i’ll just leave em here
in yer cerebellum, if ya like
heres a whole boxload of 1988
oh that should be interesting…
limos on way to airports
a hundred hotel rooms
smoke noise ringin’ in yer ears
waitresses n bellboys
takeoffs n check-ins
soundchecks n interviews
dawns n encores
studios n terminals
taxis n de-tuning
image drowning image
sound burying sound
a thousand spliffs
a thousand arguments
a thousand autographs
another flight
another early morning
another awkward situation
another bag to pack
another fish to fry
another place to play
cities people lights camera friction
snow wind sun darkness
nyc in winter
an afternoon in brisbane
a walk in the mountains
a swim in the adriatic
a bottle of wine
reading a book
sleeping in too late
doing my hair n having a shave
gaining n losing calluses on my fingers
a veggie burger with yam fries n a soy shake
the train to washington
brazil n its glamour n squalor
falling asleep on a bus somewhere
a cafe in amsterdam, zonked on space cake
bunks n breakfasts
sick n tired
full of myself, outta control
singin’ n playin’
all those theatres n pubs n clubs
n festivals n live telecasts
tv hosts n disc jockeys
Q: blah blah blah?
A: blah blah blah!
come here go there
do this avoid that
run around
wait around
run around
wait around
wade thru all the advice
write some new songs
try to remain vaguely sane n failing
this is what you always wanted
this is what you never wanted
why is everyone always angry with me?
why isnt it ever the way you thought?
is it over?
can i go now?
was that it?
can i have more?
yes
no
maybe
call me monday
i’ll tell ya after its all figured out
not as much as we hoped
never what ya expected
more than ya bargained for tho
good while it lasts
it dont last long
did you enjoy that?
heres the bill
heres your receipt
heres the ticket for yer luggage
heres where you sign..initial this here, please
heres yer guitar now go rock!
heres yer career now go be a superstar
heres yer review now go weep
heres yer room now go relax
heres yer audience now entertain em
heres yer support act now blow em offstage
heres the other druids in yer band, start fighting
heres yer adoring fans,start delusions of grandeur
heres yer abusive critics, begin revenge
heres yer faithful roadcrew begin matey-ness
heres yer drugs begin addiction
heres yer drink begin hangover
heres yer rise begin yer fall
heres yer fall begin yer obscurity
heres yer obscurity begin yer comeback
glorydays
heydays
paydays
but never never
gaydays
the cover of (australian) rollingstone
a gold record from the u.s.
a plaque(not on teeth)
saying utmw is numba one on all radio formats
(gee!)
a stolen guitar
a ruined shirt
an unread message
a lost moment
more travel
hit the road
make yer connection
more coffee sir?
more brandy sir?
have you read this weeks billboard?
steve, have you met larry weinerstein from a and r?
steve, this is millie gibshribble from publicity
steve, can i get a photo of ya screaming?
steve, how disappointed are you right now?
steve, how does it feel now?
steve, are you surprised?
steve, didja put danny raddawich on the guest list?
steve, its tony innane from kpox in sauselito!
steve, did i wake ya?….oh, sorry
steve, this ones cancelled
steve, this ones added
hey kilbey, what the fuck…?
bang!
is this how i experience it all?
yes and no
i could write for a hundred years
and i would never empty out
i put my fingers to the keys
and the memories flow
and sometimes a single second
takes an hour to describe
or you could jump over 1990
in one word
(but what is that one word today?)
stick around
im still plotting
im still in the thick of it
on the frontline for ya
yer brave
if maybe a little olde
correspondent
im gonna keep tellin ya how it is/was/will be
i dont pull no fucking punches
im gonna probe the soft white underbelly
of nostalgia
and im gonna do it with eloquence n style
hang in there
all will eventually be revealed
and then
youll be happy